Older uninvited siblings at party

[Jessica60]

Edited post.

 

[pa2k84]

That's a hard one. How annoying for you and how rude of the parent. To be honest not a lot you can do now but in hindsite i guess you should of said something when they turned up (easier said than done i know)

 

[MKaykes]

How rude! I don't even see why older kids would want to go hang out with 4 year olds and a pony!

It probably won't do much good to address it now, but maybe address it with the other parents, especially the ones who asked to bring siblings just to let them know it wasn't something you were okay with. Then they know too to be prepared if they invite that same family to a party and know that you weren't excluding them.

 

[Eleanor ace]

Gosh how rude!! :angry:
I would have a good rant here/to someone irl who won't gossip about it and then do your best to forget about it as there isn't much you can do about it now; even if you confront the mother about it it won't change what happened and could lead to a stressful situation (although I say this as someone who hates confrontation).

 

[Zephram]

As above - not much you can do now. If it happens again you need to have a word with the parent at the time - "This party and numbers of everything have been organised only for my daughters 4 year old friends, I'm sorry but your older kids will be unable to participate."

You really can't let it slide at the time if people are behaving like that.

 

[misspriss]

Nothing to be done now I suppose, although I fail to see how you didn't say anything to the parent when they arrived? When the older children were pushing the invited guests around? I understand you told them off, but why not speak to the parent?

I would have dealt with in then. I would not go explaining and apologizing to the other parents, you shouldn't have to do that for someone else's actions. I'd have said something AT the party, saying something now will not help. I don't mind confrontation though.

 

[MindUtopia]

That is incredibly rude. I wouldn't invite that child to parties in the future unfortunately and I would probably say something to the parent as well if you know them well enough. There's no reason the older one especially couldn't have just stayed home alone. And when in doubt as a parent, I would always ask in advance if I could just drop my child off if I had other children who were not invited. Then it at least gives you the option to have the child there if you are able to keep an eye on them rather than having no choice but to take the other two. Sadly, I think there are parents who see birthday parties as a cheap day out and free babysitting and aren't bothered what anyone thinks, which is really impolite.

 

[WackyMumof2]

Honestly, if one of my boys comes home with a party invite, the other doesn't go unless it's stated on the invite! At the end of the day, the family is hosting and they set a budget for a certain number. For DS1's 5th I think we had 20-30 kids. He had 10 from Kindy and it was stated on the invitation that siblings were not invited as I had only catered for x amount of people - the other children being relatives and close friends. I think that if you state that siblings are not welcome, then that SHOULD be resepcted.

As for these older kids who treated the little ones badly, took advantage of a pony ride that was not for them and eating the party food, that is NOT okay. If they were teenagers then the parents should have told them they need to go do what teenagers do and stay away from a kids party. And for the parents to NOT deal with their brats is just disrespectful! You handled it far better than what I would have. I would have not been so polite!

 

[Sarahcake]

That's awful. How incredibly rude of the parent too sitting on the phone whilst her univited kids where causing chaos! How old were these two boys?

Logan's sibling is currently still cooking, but the only way I would take them to a party Logan was specifically invited to was if they were a baby they would be with me and not participating and eating the food ect and that's only after I have asked the person holding the party before the day.

I'd be so angry, I'm angry for you to be honest. No need for it at all is there.

 

[.Mrs.B.]

That is really rude. How people can think that it's OK not to ask is unbelievable. Imagine everyone came with an extra 2 uninvited kids?

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do now. It wont change anything that's been done.

 

[Jessica60]

Yes I am still very angry. I spoke to another mom who was at the party today and she said that she had to speak to the boys about their behaviour. I just wish I was more forceful and challenged the parent. I feel sorry for my daughter as she really wanted to invite others and I told her that there would be too many.
I am NOT inviting that child to a party again and also not to my house when I have little get togethers for the kids at Christmas etc. The mom is bound to see on Facebook that everyone else has been to my get together and wonder why she is no longer invited.

 

[c1403]

Would have been best to address it at the time, how did the parent not notice any of this behaviour? Very rude, can understand your anger.

I do see how it can be hard for some parents who have no childcare for siblings. A lot of the mums I know have 2+ children. I have asked before if I could bring my youngest along, it has always been ok but if they said no, then I'd try to find childcare or wouldn't go.
If someone asked me if they could bring along an elder/younger sibling I would probably make allowances but I understand in your situation you were limited on numbers.

 

[YoshiPikachu]

Oh hell to the no! I would of flipped out. So not ok at all.

 

[LoveCakes]

Sorry the party wasn't what you expected, I hope your LO still had fun.

It does seem a bit unfair to punish the child for his mum and brothers behaviour. You said she'll see they weren't invited but so will they. For future gatherings it would be worth saying no siblings again and turning them away at the door if they show up.

 

[xxxemmaxxx]

Thats awful - can't believe some people think thats acceptable.. totally agreed with the comment about people thinking its a free day out etc.

I asked if I could take ds2 to one of ds1's friends party as wouls struggle for childcare.. they said no which I obviously obeyed but was slightly peeved when I got there that there were a couple of other siblings there (older and younger) and wondered at the time had they asked or just turned up!