One Blighted Ovum - One Missed Miscarriage

[peekaboo]

Been silently following your journey and have to say I'm so sorry. Even though I don't know you my heart sank when I saw the title of this post. I just hope you get some answers now and better medical help than it seems you've had so far. x

 

[Brambletess]

Hi CS

Just got back from holiday and was GUTTED to read your post. Its so unfair you are having to go through this. I don't know what else to say, other than, I know how you feel. Please don't rush back to work. I was off for two weeks after mine and needed all of that time to feel strong enough. The emotions grab you at the strangest time and you do not want to be at work feeling like that. I was bad for a week and then off and on the following week. Each person is diiferent and it can take much longer for others. Its a massively hard thing to get through and i hope it all resolves itself on the phsical side as soon as possible.

I know it all seems stacked against you right now but it may be that batch of eggs were not viable but in a future go you will have some that are. Its a free go, its worth doing but only when you feel strong enough.

Once again, so upset for you as I know what it means to you.

xx
Bridget

 

[toby2]

thinking of you for tomorrow and i really hope it goes the way that is best for you
lots of love
xx

 

[Pippin]

Thinking of you today CS, hope they gave you some answers. xxx

 

[CurlySue]

No answers.

Sent away until next Thursday.

"I am 99.99% sure this is not a progressing pregnancy but you'll have to come back next Thursday and speak to a doctor about options. I saw a fetal pole today. There wasn't one last week, or if there was we didn't see it, so because of that no doctor will see you."

She gave me information to make an appointment with a miscarriage counsellor - yet won't do anything to help me.

There are no answers.

 

[MrsJD]

CS, was there one or two FP's?

This is a nightmare! They've sent you away due to seeing the FP as they can't do anything until they are 100% it's not progressing.

X

 

[CurlySue]

One.

One sac (the bigger one) was totally empty. The smaller one (far too small for gestation, she said) had a fetal pole. It's tiny, she said, far smaller than it should be, and she is 99.99% sure that it's not viable. I will likely bleed before then, she said, but no doctor will do a D&C or medically managed miscarriage until this third scan. It's NOT progressing. She even said that the fetal pole was probably there last week but it was too close to 'the wall' (or something) that the scan did not pick up on it.

Nine days away.

Nine more days in limbo in case I bleed, and for what? 0.01%? I don't think 0.01% is worth the mental torment I am feeling right now.

What the fuck am I supposed to feel like right now? She's told me I'm miscarrying. She's told me there is no chance yet nobody in that shitty hospital will do anything to help make this easier.

 

[Nicnac]

Hey hon,

I'm so sorry there's still no answers. I can't believe that they can act like this.

I don't know anything about the IVF process, but if they are spotting a FP now, which they didn't see last time, why isn't that a positive?

Wish there was something we could do for you.

 

[Nicnac]

Sorry hon, was typing and didn't see your reply.

 

[Jkelmum]

sorry for your losses

 

[Pippin]

Goodness what a roller coaster I'm so sorry hon. I read a post in first tri which had the same and a miracle did happen so I understand their reservations but it doesn't help the mess that's going on in your head right now. I guess you have to see this as the final straight but think about the future and the fact there was a fetal pole, so a sign that maybe this can work in the future. Hope that doesn't come across wrong

 

[CurlySue]

Dunno, it just gives me false hope. It was there but didn't develop. So, in one go I had both a blighted ovum and a missed miscarriage. That makes me feel pretty shitty to be honest.

 

[Pippin]

Dunno, it just gives me false hope. It was there but didn't develop. So, in one go I had both a blighted ovum and a missed miscarriage. That makes me feel pretty shitty to be honest.

Understandably.

 

[toby2]

so sorry you didnt get any answers- to be honestly I dont know what to say, I just cant believe you still have another nine days to wait, its so hard to understand why it has to be that way-what a blow
lots of love
((((((((())))))))

 

[CurlySue]

I can't believe it either, Toby. My mental state wasn't great as it was. I had come to terms with things and was looking forward to scheduling something today and at least having an end to it all. No closure. No moving on. More uncertainty.

How is it fair?

 

[toby2]

it is not even the tinest bit fair and to be honest, even from a medical point of veiw its difficult to understand. I know the absolute last thing you need at the moment is people giving you advice but its very hard to leave you sitting there and say nothing- I understand a tiny part of what you are going through and that tiny bit atually nearly broke me so I just cant imagine how you are getting by day to day. Is there any chance you could go to your gp and tell him how this is effecting you, firstly to get some support and secondly it may be possible for him to refer you back or get something done differently at the hospital, although not easy it is possible for gps to do this-I am sorry if this is going over old ground
xxx

 

[CurlySue]

There is only this hospital, Toby, so the GP could not really do anything. He can't refer me elsewhere either because there isn't an elsewhere.

I cried, cracked, I told her my head was a mess, I could not cope any more. I wanted something done now. I did not want to wait. It made no difference whatsoever.

 

[toby2]

I dont understand why they do it-just seems so cruel, they just seem to look at the physical side and totally ignore the mental and emotional side of it. I am so very sorry this is happening to you, and I wish there was something i could do to help the next nine days pass for you-its crap curly sue it really is,there is no justifying it-hope you have people around you to help you through this you deserve all the support you can get
xxxx

 

[CurlySue]

I'm going to have to go to work. I can't go tomorrow, my head is too much of a mess, but I'll have to go on Thursday and Friday and then next week, until scan on Thursday. I'll just have to tell them that if I start bleeding I will have to leave straight away. I can't just indefinitely stay off though.

 

[toby2]

No, it gets difficult doesnt it? see how you go I guess?In some kind of way it may act as a distraction and if it gets to much you can always leave and get the dr to sign you off, dont see how they could say no-for most people bleeding starts gradually so you would have time to get home if you needed
xx