One Blighted Ovum - One Missed Miscarriage

[Rumpskin]

I did not start bleeding until 4 weeks after LO had died. If you are feeling poorly, definately go to the doctors and get checked out.

I am so sorry, I know how hard it is xxx

 

[Pippin]

Hon I totally agree with what Brambletess has said, you must look after yourself and sod work, they come very low down the list of priorities now. I know work is important it is for me too but you are number 1 not them Hope it goes well with the doctors. x

 

[CurlySue]

I did not start bleeding until 4 weeks after LO had died. If you are feeling poorly, definately go to the doctors and get checked out.

I am so sorry, I know how hard it is xxx

I don't even know when it died. All I know is that by the time they intervene it has been dead for a hell of a long time and I'm showing no signs of bleeding. Having severe pain in my ovarian region as well, on my right side. But no bleeding. No anything. Just feeling sick and weak and in pain and no bleeding.

I can't believe they are doing this.

 

[vineyard]

I did not start bleeding until 4 weeks after LO had died. If you are feeling poorly, definately go to the doctors and get checked out.

I am so sorry, I know how hard it is xxx

I don't even know when it died. All I know is that by the time they intervene it has been dead for a hell of a long time and I'm showing no signs of bleeding. Having severe pain in my ovarian region as well, on my right side. But no bleeding. No anything. Just feeling sick and weak and in pain and no bleeding.

I can't believe they are doing this.

You really should go in, especially if you are running a fever and in pain and weak. I'm sorry you're having to go through this. It's not fair at all.

 

[toby2]

((((((((((((()))))))))))))))oh my lovely-am not suprised you are scared, made me feel like a ticking time bomb, nothing will suddenly happen, you will get warning if anything starts, probably quite a lot of warning, i know that doesnt help your situation but its horrible to be sat expecting the unexpected. I hope you managed to get to a gp and they were understanding-you really need some support from someone and if you dont feel well you need checking, maybe to do with whats going on or it may just be that you are run down with the physical and mental stress of it all but you should get that reassurance either way from a dr.
I also took three weeks of for both my mmc, within a space of a year and it just takes what it takes, what ever problm that causes at work isnt your problem and it will pass, like bramble says if you just tell your dr you need signing off for two weeks then you wont have to worry anymore
biggest of all hugs for you, am thinking of you
xxx

 

[CurlySue]

I got signed off for a week and if on Thursday I manage to get something sorted GP will sign me off for longer. I'm just going to ask for the tablets. I know it will be painful but if I want a D&C I'd be looking at an even longer wait and I just want this over with now.

The irony is, I now have what feels like morning sickness and the tiredness I had at the very start before symptoms vanished is back. I feel awful. Utterly, totally awful. I got my letter from GP but now I am terrified about phoning work. I just know I will get someone in a bad mood making me feel awful. Being all snipey and funny with me.

Really do feel awful. And my mother isn't helping. She's been going on all kinds of websites and is trying to convince me that they were wrong, that this is what has happened, that when I go for scan next Thursday there will be a healthy nine week old baby with a heartbeat. I feel guilty for shouting at her but I did. I don't need that. I need realism. I don't need a miracle.

 

[toby2]

((((((((((()))))))))))
Can you email work and send in your sicknote?or get someone else to do it for you, i couldnt manage those phone calls either times and i quite like my boss.
Its hard with your mum, dealing with other peoples reactions and grief when you dont know what to do with yours is so tough-its cause she cares and wants it to be ok but like you say that doesnt help you.
I know you will have thought it through and read up on it but i chose a d/c because i felt the physical part would be quicker-i was in and out for day surgery and had a day in bed and then was physically ok, obviously what you cjose for you is right for you
Glad your dr was of some help
lots of love
xxx

 

[Sickovwaitin]

I'm sorry to hear your news.

 

[maz]

Could you not just post in your sick note with a covering letter. That's what I did when i was signed off for my MC. I emailed them when i got back to work to let them know the state of play. Mind you, my bosses are in Manchester and I work in Belfast, so seeing my manager is pretty difficult at the best of times.

Sending you big and hoping your hell is over with soon.

Hope you start to feel better soon.

 

[toby2]

how you doing today?Hope you managed to sort work out without to much stress
lots of love
xx

 

[CurlySue]

I emailed work. Waiting for a response. I just put the following: -

Hi Marie,

I'm sorry to email but I just feel really bad about not being in the last week and I'm still feeling stupidly upset when I have to talk about things. I didn't want to burst into tears whilst speaking to you and I feel awful that this has become complicated and is dragging on. My head is in a bit of a mess at the minute and I'm sorry it's all gone tits up.

The hospital have told me to get signed off by GP next week because they refuse to do a D&C or a medically managed miscarriage until I have had another scan next Thursday and apparently there is a very high risk that I will start to spontaneously miscarry before then. They said that it is still a missed miscarriage and that they are 99.9% sure that there is nothing in the sac except a very small dead fetus but they will not help me to miscarry until they are 100% sure its not progressing. Last week they saw nothing at all so the fact that they saw a tiny fetus has made them order another scan even though they assure me it's not viable (makes no sense to me). They've sent me for miscarriage counselling but won't do anything about the physical side. They said that the other sac has continued to grow (it has an eight week old placenta but no baby) and because it is still giving out pregnancy hormones, that is what is stopping me from miscarrying naturally.

James is going to bring in the note from GP on Monday when he goes into town. I'm sorry this is dragging on. I don't want to look like I am taking the piss and once it is all done with (will ask for D&C or tablets which will mean it's all finished by the weekend) I will come straight in. I'll work some lunch hours if you need me to.

Give me a ring if you need to. I just didn't want to get upset down the phone and look like an idiot. I feel really awful about not being in. I will see you soon and I'm sorry this is taking so long.

Does that sound okay? I am really dreading a response.

 

[krissi]

I think that sounds fine hun you are under no obligation to offer up so much info if you have been signed off so i think you are being more than resonable in the circumstances xx

 

[CurlySue]

I honestly didn't want to be signed off. I went to ask for advice since the hospital did tell me to get signed off and the GP took one look at the state of me and told me I could not go into work with the thread of bleeding over my head and when my emotional state was so fragile.

I meant to go in yesterday. I felt I should. Then I had my little breakdown on wednesday night and realised I just wasn't ready. It's not over. It's not done. It's still waiting to happen and it's just really hard to deal with anything right now.

 

[Lilly123]

I think email sounds good hun.. u need to take time to heal. physically and emotionally... i know FJL also went thru a terrible time... have you got her email?

Take care hun

I cant begin to imagine your pain but it will ease with time like all pain does but for now.. you have to heal...

 

[CurlySue]

Haven't got her email, no. I just want it over with. It doesn't seem fair that it is being dragged on and on and to be perfectly honest it has left me in such a state that I don't want to do this again. Ever. I know that sounds defeatist, but I can't cope with this.

 

[Lilly123]

I will ask her to contact u hun.. she has been thru it and maybe she can offer some words of comfort...i know not much will help now... but talking to somehow else u has been thru this may help..

I actually read that many women who go through a missed miscarriage actually have post natal depression...which i can completely understand... what u r going thru is so terrible.. now i know u cant see thru the darkness but there will be light.... but for now.. just take care of yourself.. you need to get thru this. Big

 

[CurlySue]

If I have to go with this hospital I will not do it again. Have contacted my PCT to see if I can get funding transferred to a hospital in Manchester who have said they will take on my case if the PCT will transfer the NHS funding. I can only hope they say yes because otherwise I am not doing it again. I am not allowing any place to treat us the way that this hospital have. Once I have been transferred I am going to write the biggest, bitchiest letter there ever was because I don't think they should be allowed to get away with it without being told straight up how utterly shocking they have made us feel.

Thanks Tanya. Its nice when somebody else has felt like this. Not nice that they felt it, obviously, but it makes me feel less alone.

 

[Lilly123]

If I have to go with this hospital I will not do it again. Have contacted my PCT to see if I can get funding transferred to a hospital in Manchester who have said they will take on my case if the PCT will transfer the NHS funding. I can only hope they say yes because otherwise I am not doing it again. I am not allowing any place to treat us the way that this hospital have. Once I have been transferred I am going to write the biggest, bitchiest letter there ever was because I don't think they should be allowed to get away with it without being told straight up how utterly shocking they have made us feel.

Thanks Tanya. Its nice when somebody else has felt like this. Not nice that they felt it, obviously, but it makes me feel less alone.

of course honey.... i have messaged FJL and will come back to u

I agree.. they have treated u shockingly.. its a disgrace.. nex time, and there will be a next time, when you move to manchester you call the shots and you must ask for HCG blood tests and early scans....its ridiculous that it got left this long! makes me so angry for u

 

[CurlySue]

If I have to go with this hospital I will not do it again. Have contacted my PCT to see if I can get funding transferred to a hospital in Manchester who have said they will take on my case if the PCT will transfer the NHS funding. I can only hope they say yes because otherwise I am not doing it again. I am not allowing any place to treat us the way that this hospital have. Once I have been transferred I am going to write the biggest, bitchiest letter there ever was because I don't think they should be allowed to get away with it without being told straight up how utterly shocking they have made us feel.

Thanks Tanya. Its nice when somebody else has felt like this. Not nice that they felt it, obviously, but it makes me feel less alone.

of course honey.... i have messaged FJL and will come back to u

I agree.. they have treated u shockingly.. its a disgrace.. nex time, and there will be a next time, when you move to manchester you call the shots and you must ask for HCG blood tests and early scans....its ridiculous that it got left this long! makes me so angry for u

I just want my choice to matter. I want my emotional health to matter. I want to be treated with some kind of dignity and respect and from the very first instance, when that woman who totally misdiagnosed me laughed in my face when I dared question it, I have felt 'wrong' about all of this.

We should feel right, shouldn't we?

 

[toby2]

you should feel right and like you are being supported, cared for even. I think it is a really positive step forward that you have enquired about funding transfer-really hope that works out for you.
I think your email was very honest and gives clear reasons why you cant be in work- i hope the response suprises you in a nice way but dont dread it, the dr has told you your are not to go to work because you are not well enough, its not a choice you have made so you really dont have to feel bad or guilty and what ever response you get isnt going to change your ability to go to work, maybe get oh to read it first to see if its worth you reading(((((((()))))))))
I have read a bit about post natel depression with m/c too, at the very least you have been flooded with a stupid amount of hormones that have crashed up and down, thats not something you can control or 'get over'. I think you are being amazing, you are taking care of yourself in a way that your hospital should be
xxx