One Blighted Ovum - One Missed Miscarriage

[maz]

CS - what a horrible situation.

What I don't understand is why they won't just help you move past this ... It's not as though you could have made a mistake in your conception date and you're not as far along as you thought you were. If you hadn't had IVF with a definite conception date, I could nearly understand them wanting to be triply sure that it wasn't going anywhere. This is just crap altogether.

I hope this horrible nightmare is over soon.

 

[CurlySue]

That is my point exactly, Maz. There is no mistaking my conception date. I can be no less than 8 weeks pregnant exactly today. Even if she DID see a fetal pole, if it's only measuring 5 weeks, 5 and a half weeks or whatever that is STILL non-viable because it's close to three weeks behind where it should be.

There's no way around this. It's not viable. It's stopped. Ended. There is no chance. So why won't they help me move past it since my body clearly doesn't want to do it?

Oh, she made a point of telling me that when I do bleed it will be like the worst period I have ever had in my life because I am passing a fairly large gestational sac and a second sac with a fetal pole.

 

[toby2]

(((((((((((((((cs)))))))))))) thinking of you
i know its easy for me to say but i hope what she said about bleeding isnt worrying you too much, if you start to bleed there are lots of people on here who can answer any questions you may have-that was another stupid thing she said because everyone is different
lots of lovexx

 

[Farie]

So sorry CS
They just keep throwing shit at you don't they
Really hope this gets cleared up so you can move past this awful situation

 

[CurlySue]

I had come to terms with it all. That is what is pissing me off so much. They don't seem to care that I had come to terms. They just want to drag it out even more. Like I said, regardless of whether there is a fetal pole or not it's not viable, so why make this harder then it has to be?

Honestly, I don't want to do IVF again. If ever there was an experience that was going to push me towards adoption it is the experience I have had at the Hewitt Centre.

 

[Mrs G]

I am so sorry you are having to deal with all this. I can't understand why they would want to prolong this for you. It is so unfair and cruel.
xx

 

[CurlySue]

If there was a realistic reason for it then I'd understand, but she'd told me that even if there is a fetal pole it's a missed miscarriage. If there is a 5.5 week 'baby' at 8 weeks it's quite clearly dead after all...

I just don't understand. I am so angry right now. Imagine I was one of those emotionally unstable people who get to a point where they want to harm themselves when things get this bad. Do they care so little that they'd send me away to do that?

I'm not one of those people, but I could be couldn't I?

 

[Mrs G]

They seem to have forgotten the emotional side of this and just be dealing with the physical.

 

[krissi]

OMFG I can not belive you are being treated like this CS my heart really goes out to you xx

 

[CurlySue]

It's not quite right is it? See THIS is the reason why some women fake severe cramping just to get treated like a real person. This is why people try to cheat the system, because the system doesn't give a shit.

 

[Mynxie]

so sorry for your loss sweetheart *hugs*

 

[toby2]

Are you def going to work tomorrow?take it easy if you are and leave if it gets to much
xx

 

[CurlySue]

Just had a bit of a mental breakdown. Ended up making myself sick, literally.

Can't go to work. Don't want to look like I am taking the piss but I can't go in like this...

 

[JASMAK]

Take some time off - you will need it. I had to take two weeks off for each miscarriage, and you will want to take time off for the bleeding too.

 

[Brambletess]

No don't go to work, you are far too vulnerable right now. your gp will sign you off, It knocks you for 6 at times and the emotions can be like a steam roller. This is real grief you are experiencing and in no way should this be undermined. Although it has been 5 weeks for me and I feel much better, I am not really myself. I am nice one minute then a bitch the next. Nearly got into a fight with a stranger today because she was threatening me. Normally I would have backed away but I feel so much anger in me right now. I realise its a stage of gief though. Oh Curly sue, I am so upset for you, if you are finding it hard to cope please see GP about what help is available. Dont try to deal with it alone.Big Hug

 

[toby2]

oh lovely(((((((())))))))) Just what everyone else said really-do what you need to get you through and dont give work or anyone else a second thought, if they have an issue with you being off they will get over it but its really important you have the time you need after the horible shitty and sad time you are having
lots of love
xxx

 

[Oneday]

Take as much time as you need, you don't need any added stress and remember your employers cannot disapline you for any time off that is pregnancy related x

 

[CurlySue]

I haven't even started miscarrying yet. This is what is worrying me. I have been off now for 6 working days. I am not due back at hospital until next Thursday. Then they will schedule something. Might not even be until the following week. By the end of it all I might have even been off for THREE weeks.

That just looks terrible.

If this were a straightforward miscarriage it would be okay, but my body is clinging on, my mind is cracking daily and this really could go on for days and days and days. I haven't even BLED yet.

I'm just scared, really.

 

[Brambletess]

Speak to your doctor and ask for advice, I am sure he/she will sign you off sick for two weeks, then it is in black and white. You are not throwing a sickie, you did not ask for this, it is important you look after yourself physically and emotionally during this time. If it takes three weeks, thats what it takes. After your bleed or D&C you will need a couple of days and then afterwards you can think about returning to work. Its not just the miscarriage, its everything building up to it that has to be taken into consideration. Don't worry about this, see your GP, and then focus on coming to terms. I had three weeks off over mine, the week leading up to the bleed and then two weeks after. i needed it and my work totally understood. I doubt they would want us in anyway when in a highly emotional state, it would be distressing for us and distressing for colleagues too. Thinking of you

 

[CurlySue]

I'm going to see what the doctor says. I was all up for going in today but I knew I wasn't ready. I was only doing it to please 'the boss' - but nothing has changed, has it? I'm still in limbo. I seriously don't think this hospital realises what it's doing to my mental state.

I'm now concerned that I am getting an infection. My temperature has gone high, I feel shaky and weak, nauseous yet constantly hungry and I could honestly sleep all day. When you consider the fact that the sac with the fetal pole must've been dead for three or four weeks it wouldn't be totally inconceivable that infection was starting to set in, especially when they are refusing to do a D&C and my body is not doing its job.