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One shouldn't judge.....but sometimes it's hard not to!

It's down to the parents. If they both feel comfortable and this is their way of welcoming their baby into the world then who are we to judge them as long as the baby is being well cared for?
 
I dont think you are being judgemental at all! I had about 3 visitors the first day home and as awful as it sounds, the whole time they were there I was secretly wishing they would hurry up and leave! The last thing you want a few days after giving birth is people gathering round asking 500 questions about the birth and your plans for the next 18 years!
Its good on the one hand as I guess if people are cuddling the baby etc then it gives you time to have a bit of a break but not if they are constantly chatting to you the whole time as well!
 
Brooke was born a week before christmas so i had no choice but to suck it up and get on with things, visitors, celebrations etc etc,tired or not
 
Wow if he was my OH i think i would have hit him lmao! poor woman! i think your completely right to just have close nit family and friends so you can bond properly :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Oh and I were having this coversation a couple of days ago - we both agree that there are no visitors except by invitation, but I'm worried that he doesn't think that extends to family - IT DOES. Especially his. The way I feel right now, I don't want to see anybody until I've had a chance to spend time on my own with my baby and my husband.
 
Oh I soooooooo agree that having a party isn't a good idea,unless she really wanted one of course.
We are fretting abit over this whole having people over thing too..my dad lives over in spain but when he visits us,he stays in the attic bedroom in our house (bought off of him 3 years ago as he moved out to spain,leaving the house stood empty most of the time) Im dreading the time when I have to tell him I don't want him staying with us weeks on end when baby is born..how am I supposed to relax and bond with new addition with him around 24/7?! It maybe abit naughty but weve told him my EDD is 4th November cos of other reasons so were hoping it will work to our advantage and he'll book a flight back to the UK around then...missing the birth,and them 1st few vital precious days that me,hubby and the kids want and need with the new family member! Im hoping that when I tell him Im planning on having a home birth that it will scare him off anyway!!
 
I agree with the others that you're not being judgmental, but I guess it's a case of different strokes for different folks...
When Freya was born I was totally up for visitors anytime. We had to move house when she was 7 days old. A group of our friends turned up to help and all stayed for a BBQ/games session afterwards. It was great. I was so excited, and happy to be sharing my beautiful girl with anyone who showed they were even half interested!
I'm already thinking about how much I'll miss that this time round (if there is a this time!) as most of my friends have since gone travelling.
 
I agree with a lot of things everyone saying....and i am not sure if I could handle a party!! But as freyasmum says different strokes for different folks.... . and I guess we never know what conversations go on behind closed doors!!!
x
 
It's down to the parents. If they both feel comfortable and this is their way of welcoming their baby into the world then who are we to judge them as long as the baby is being well cared for?

I agree, everyone will always want to do things differently. I'm happy for visitors when i come out of hospital :D A party would be too much, mainly for the fact that I am such a hostess but I have no quarms with peeps coming to visit :D
 
A party as such no. But when I got out of hospital I had a full house, and loved it. Granted, I never let people lift Kyle, as he was sleeping but I was proud as punch showing him off as he lay sleepin like a wee angel! :)
 
That would send me mad. My MIL is saying she is planning to be visiting me at the hospital everyday when I actually don't anyone except my boyfriend around for a week or so. My mum is a lot more considerate and is going to come up a week or two after.
 
Well, judging people is wrong but in this case you're just making an observation and forming an opinion...and I totally agree with you.
Someone I know just had a baby and while his GF and child were STILL IN THE HOSPITAL, he was at the studio with my kid brother recording a track. (And this was more of a hobby endeavor, not like they're making money off of it or anything.)
If my OH pulled a stunt like that, I would slice him from neck to nave (verbally, of course...)

As far as the guy who threw the party; to play devils advocate, all I can say is that guys can get very excited about their bundles of joy and can be down right inconsiderate in their celebration of new life. My OH had everyone at his job rubbing my belly when I came to meet him after work. No warning, he'd just introduce me to people and tell them to touch my bump. It was weird.
 
I definately agree - that's too much too fast. Fine if the mother can handle it and wants it - but one) She's not going to be able to enjoy a party with a newborn to look after and every book I've read says take a few weeks break to recover.

I understand that he maybe excited about the new arrival which is cute - but it doesn't seem very understanding to his partner.
 
Woah, a party?! You must be kidding!

OH and i both feel that we want some alone time bonding with baby before the hoardes arrive to visit. Neither of us has family close by, so at least we know there won't be people popping in and out all day every day unannounced, it's more likely they'll arrange a day with us and come spend some time once we're settled in a bit.

We're both quite private people i guess, and although i'm sure i'll be looking forward to showing baby off, OH won't get a lot of time off work so i want us to have som real quality time together, with the phone unplugged, enjoying being a new little family together.

A party would definitely not be on my list of things to do but then like people have said- we're all different i guess!
 
oooh no each to their own but i cant imagine anything worse than party time straight after baby is born!
 
I totally agree - no way do I want people coming all the time when our baby is born..

I've already had my mum announce to me that she's planning on coming over from Ireland a couple weeks b4 baby is due and staying a month 'or maybe a few weeks' !!!

I know her heart is in the right place but this would be my worst nightmare. I'm planning on finishing work 2 weeks b4 Junior makes his appearance and want to spend that 2 weeks woth my OH as a bit of a break/holiday relaxing and getting ready. Then of course the birth is just for us and i just KNOW she's going to want to be there for that and as for the couple weeks after that welllllll...

I'm going to have to tell her nicely that I don't want that that I'd rather she wait until baby is a couple weeks old and then come visit for a few days, also going to have to get OH to tell his family and everyone that the first 2 weeks is a big no-no just OCCASIONAL visits and not lasting all day...

Ever just feel that people are going to just try take over??? lol
 
Thats too much, not only is the mom to tired and getting no sleep, etc. but it's so dangerous for the newborn to be around that many people. One of the many people is bound to at least have a cold, and even just a cold is so bad for such a young baby!
 
Thats too much, not only is the mom to tired and getting no sleep, etc. but it's so dangerous for the newborn to be around that many people. One of the many people is bound to at least have a cold, and even just a cold is so bad for such a young baby!

That is actually one of the things I worry most about!! My OH's family when we lived in our old place they'd visit much more than now but ALWAYS one of the kids would have cold/flu/bug etc and they'd come visiting my OH (while I was in work) When he'd ask why the child wasn't at school they'd say 'oh he/she has flu etc'

Ermmm don't bring them visiting then!!! My OH alsway said that to them not to be coming spreading their germs but they'd NEVER listen. I've made it clear to him that NOBODY is to come visit us when baby is here if anybody is ill - to be more specific what I actually said is 'if one member of the family is ill then none of the siblings/mum etc are to visit either' I'm sure he'll tell them but I just KNOW they won't listen

aaaaargh sorry for the rant...
 
I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I really do want my friends and family all visiting me early on after our son is born. This has been a long long road to parenting for us and our friends have been nothing but supportive for 10 long years. I want them to see the baby and us as parents ASAP. Also, I am a people person and love having people around so maybe I am just strange. :shrug:
 
i wish i had family to come visit me...

i guess it depends on your situation, i can see both sides.
 

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