OT The Duggers are expecting baby #20!

[lisaf]

B. And I will say this again. It was a pretty common practice back in the day for the older kids to help raise the younger ones. Maybe if we still did this practice then maybe we wouldn't have such irresponsible, spoiled children and.. let's be honest- adults running around.

I don't know if thats a good argument. We used to also make children work in factories, you know?

 

[SophiasMummy]

ashley2pink, dont worry about sophiasmummy going nutso on your for using the term 'barren women' It was a common term to used for women with infertitliy issues years ago, where as now its not really used. This day and age not many women are truley barren as you can use all sorts of drugs and science to help them get pregnant. Your using a term that until probably the last 20 years or so was the commen term for not being able to get pregnant.

As for SophiasMummy, I really dont think Ashley was trying to be "disgusting and demeaning' as stated above, this was a common term used probably up till the last 20 years or so. you could have handeled this so much better than JUMPING down her throught. I honestly think you were out of line.

I said the phrase is discusting and demeaning not that she is

 

[MizzDeeDee]

B. And I will say this again. It was a pretty common practice back in the day for the older kids to help raise the younger ones. Maybe if we still did this practice then maybe we wouldn't have such irresponsible, spoiled children and.. let's be honest- adults running around.

I don't know if thats a good argument. We used to also make children work in factories, you know?

I knew someone would say that. Helping with younger siblings isn't really the same as child labor is it?

 

[bellablue]

 

[lisaf]

B. And I will say this again. It was a pretty common practice back in the day for the older kids to help raise the younger ones. Maybe if we still did this practice then maybe we wouldn't have such irresponsible, spoiled children and.. let's be honest- adults running around.

I don't know if thats a good argument. We used to also make children work in factories, you know?

I knew someone would say that. Helping with younger siblings isn't really the same as child labor is it?

Lol.. I think helping with siblings is one thing, but practically raising them is another. Back when it made sense from a survival point of view or due to lack of options of birth control, I don't blame people for having their children help raise their siblings (like my mom had to). I just don't think its fair though today when there are options and you don't need to have 6 kids just to ensure a few live to adulthood.

I know how hard I find it to look after a kid, and can't imagine having that responsibility when I was younger. I babysat when I was 13 and would even do an overnight weekend babysitting when I was 16 for a neighbor. But it was a choice, was not full-time, and I was paid.

 

[HippieJess]

I saw a special on them back when they had 12 or 13 kids and they weren't in the house they live in now. They all lived in a tiny 3 or 4 bedroom house & shared 1 bathroom (I've known about this family for a while). I know she's had pre-e before I believe it started with her second pregnancy but she managed to have very successful pregnancies up until this last one. If it were me & I had 19 kids, I would've taken it as a warning that my body might not be able to do it anymore but that's just me. I hope everything goes well for her.
Oh & the "j" names just kind of happened. It started with the oldest, then they liked a "j" name with the next kid & it kept going. (The oldest son's 2 kids have "m" names so maybe he'll start a trend).

 

[vanessayogini]

Why are so many attacking her? She sets a damn good example that a lot of this world should follow. She is working and paying for all 20, she is putting none of this 'burden' on anyone else. Her children are well looked after, why in the hell should it matter what she does?

It's a bit silly to complain or compare this in any way to those who can't have children, if you find it insulting then don't watch the Dugger's TV show/read their book.

The only reason this family is able to support their children and live in the house that they live in is because of their many TV shows. Do you think it's ok for a giant family to be raised not only by their siblings but also with the cameras constantly pointed at them?
And though none of this affects me 'directly', it does, actually, it affects the people that watch the show and the people that we, as people have to live/work/deal with everyday, everywhere.

 

[Lysal]

I read a quote attributed to her (not the original article so may have been taken out of context) that she only feels fulfilled when pregnant or holding a small baby. It does worry me when women say things like this as I question the affection shown to older children and also how is she going to react when she can't have anymore.
I had an aunt who was never happy when her children reached toddlerhood and always wanted a baby. This meant as soon as her children reached two they were replaced ( not saying this is what happens when all children get a sibling just that this is clearly what happened in this family) they were given only basic attention and for the majority of the time were raised by either their grandparents or older siblings as soon as they became old enough. I'm not saying the duggars are like this as I don't know them but they quote reminded me so much of my aunt.

 

[summer rain]

I read a quote attributed to her (not the original article so may have been taken out of context) that she only feels fulfilled when pregnant or holding a small baby. It does worry me when women say things like this as I question the affection shown to older children and also how is she going to react when she can't have anymore.
I had an aunt who was never happy when her children reached toddlerhood and always wanted a baby. This meant as soon as her children reached two they were replaced ( not saying this is what happens when all children get a sibling just that this is clearly what happened in this family) they were given only basic attention and for the majority of the time were raised by either their grandparents or older siblings as soon as they became old enough. I'm not saying the duggars are like this as I don't know them but they quote reminded me so much of my aunt.

There are some people in OHs family like that as well, one of his relatives has even made her adopted sister the legal guardian of one of her daughters because her adopted sister has been the one looking after her since she got past the newborn stage

 

[patch2006uk]

I read a quote attributed to her (not the original article so may have been taken out of context) that she only feels fulfilled when pregnant or holding a small baby. It does worry me when women say things like this as I question the affection shown to older children and also how is she going to react when she can't have anymore.
I had an aunt who was never happy when her children reached toddlerhood and always wanted a baby. This meant as soon as her children reached two they were replaced ( not saying this is what happens when all children get a sibling just that this is clearly what happened in this family) they were given only basic attention and for the majority of the time were raised by either their grandparents or older siblings as soon as they became old enough. I'm not saying the duggars are like this as I don't know them but they quote reminded me so much of my aunt.

I know a couple of people who are like this too. I don't understand it - newborns are cute, but really hard work and not very rewarding. I'm much more enjoying the older baby stages!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I agree Patch. I'm really enjoying Alex now. I mean, I loved him before of course, but now he's doing so much more and he's blabbering a lot and trying to crawl

 

[bellablue]

The show definetaly helps out i bet everytime she's pregnant there like ok another season!

God bless her for able to have that many truly stong women.

 

[lisaf]

That is an interesting point about possible mental disorder. Not saying that this is what the Duggars are like, but heck.. the let-down many women experience after being married is quite common so if you had that same let-down when your baby got too old and fulfilled it by just having another baby thats really not a healthy reason to keep getting pregnant.
I wouldn't say a woman who had 5 kids for example had this issue.. but when it reaches shocking extremes like 20 kids, that is so far out of the norm that its not impossible that there is something going on mentally.

I found the newborn stage so draining, but I do sometimes think that part of the longing for the newborn stage is that they aren't expressing independence yet. I LOVE every sign my son shows of wanting to reach out and explore the world and not cling to me... I truly expect to enjoy seeing him grow up to be his own person and experience life beyond me. I can't identify with that longing for someone to need you SO much.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

That is an interesting point about possible mental disorder. Not saying that this is what the Duggars are like, but heck.. the let-down many women experience after being married is quite common so if you had that same let-down when your baby got too old and fulfilled it by just having another baby thats really not a healthy reason to keep getting pregnant.
I wouldn't say a woman who had 5 kids for example had this issue.. but when it reaches shocking extremes like 20 kids, that is so far out of the norm that its not impossible that there is something going on mentally.

I found the newborn stage so draining, but I do sometimes think that part of the longing for the newborn stage is that they aren't expressing independence yet. I LOVE every sign my son shows of wanting to reach out and explore the world and not cling to me... I truly expect to enjoy seeing him grow up to be his own person and experience life beyond me. I can't identify with that longing for someone to need you SO much.

My SIL is like this. She takes great care of her new baby.. but she loves being pregnant and she loves babies.. but she has no use for kids when they get older. She does nothing with her three boys and has a general lack of interest except for when she is yelling at them, but she is very attentive to the baby girl because she loves babies. Very sad.

 

[Aberrance]

This is sad. Not to offend, but I would think god wouldn't want people to spread themselves so thin with children, and to produce and produce until genetic defects.
Should be noted though, that I'm atheist. So I think the refusal of condoms "for Jesus" is fairly silly.

 

[whit.]

They used to teach classes on how to save money. They are living on their own, with their own money. The house they built they built AS A FAMILY so what did they have to pay for other than the supplies?

So many people judging. Quite ridiculous.

 

[britishsaffy]

They used to teach classes on how to save money. They are living on their own, with their own money. The house they built they built AS A FAMILY so what did they have to pay for other than the supplies?

So many people judging. Quite ridiculous.

But it's not all about the money is it? Isn't part of the issue the fact that the parents cannot devote the time and attention to each of the children that they deserve?

 

[whit.]

They used to teach classes on how to save money. They are living on their own, with their own money. The house they built they built AS A FAMILY so what did they have to pay for other than the supplies?

So many people judging. Quite ridiculous.

But it's not all about the money is it? Isn't part of the issue the fact that the parents cannot devote the time and attention to each of the children that they deserve?

How does anyone know how much time they devote to their children? No one here lives with them and knows their schedule, situation, ect. It's not like their kids go to school and are gone all day. They are ALWAYS at home with them. They go on family vacations. If you read what someone else said, they do spend one on one time with them.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I think it is complete stupidity.
I am not religious so won't even try to understand the 'doing it because God wants us to' and whatnot. My personal opinion is that this isn't an excuse to risk your life and leave your remaining kids with no mother, surely God wouldn't want that? There is a line and the Duggars have just leapt over it. I watch their show, but won't be anymore. I can't watch it thinking about how brainwashed and selfish the parents are the entire time now.

 

[JLFKJS]

I really don't see a problem with it.

Shes like a super mom