OT The Duggers are expecting baby #20!

[MizzDeeDee]

I don't think any of us here judging the Duggars would judge a woman for taking risks to have her first child, or even her 2nd or 3rd. But when you have 19 already, you have a lot of responsibility to those 19 kids and taking unneccessary risks IS selfish. (driving a car is an unavoidable reality, so is eating food that could potentially be contaminated etc)

I think I would understand if people said it was socially irresponsible because of the population being so blown up....but saying that because she had a premie last time or preeclampsia- which I am pretty sure that you can't say 100% she'll have again, just like you can't say people who had GD will have it again.....it's just not something I would hold against her.

I would have more of a problem with her using those kids just for religion sake or the carbon footprint that family is leaving.. not because she has health issues that might kill her or the baby- that could have been any one of us.

 

[aliss]

And yet China faces social and economic disaster today on their one child policy. I guess my point is that you should judge a mother on her character, on how you observe her with her children in her full daily life on an extended basis, and not write her off as a bad mother because you think she cannot possibly be a good one due to numbers. While we're at it, we could make similar claims about mothers who must work full time, parents who are no longer together and must share custody, or mothers of multiples who physically cannot care 1:1 at most times.

All I'm saying is that we shouldn't be so awful as to write her off as a bad mother because of how many kids she has. If you want to spend the day in her house and decide that for yourself, go ahead, but surely there is more to it.

My grandmother was apparently a very good mother to all her 13 children yet according to many of you, this can't be possible. So, is my mom lying to me then? My grandmother was a bad mother? I can't recall a single person saying anything bad about her as a mother in my lifetime, yet logistically she must be a selfish/bad one. As are so many millions of other women who did the same.

You know, in many places in this world, many of us would be bad/selfish mothers for only wanting 1 or 2. Heck, I know of girls on this website itself who think you are selfish for only having 1 child.

I guess no matter what you do, someone thinks you are a bad mother, no matter how little they actually know you.

 

[summer rain]

I have also read from several quarters that the movement (not the Duggars per se) are closely linked to Debi and Michael 'child beaters' Pearl, which is extremely interesting if true. This looks to be an interesting read on this movement as well

https://www.amazon.com/Quiverfull-I...vement/dp/0807010707/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

 

[vaniilla]

just googled them and what the hell, they have a website, books and a reality tv show (which is probably part of how they can afford it), should have guessed really!, when you put your life out there as a form of entertainment to others you can't complain about any judgments you get because you obviously don't give a crapola about privacy. agree with the pp about carbon footprint - have to say thats one of my biggest issues with it.

 

[Nieccers]

They say that they leave things in God's hands, and that is all well in good. But you would think when their last child was born early @ 25 weeks they would have learned a lesson and would be thankful and see it for a sign from God. I have no issue with them having 15, 16, 17 kids, but the issue comes when you are already told that you might be endangering another child or your own life. What are they waiting for? God to close up the baby factory?

Personally, I think they are amazing parents, and their children seem very well mannered and don't seem to get into a lot of trouble. I guess if you had cameras following you around all the time you likelihood of getting caught goes up.

We seem to forget that a lot of our grand parents and great grand parents came from large families, that it wasn't uncommon to have 10 kids. My grandmother was the oldest of 13 and I have never heard one aunt or uncle speak ill of their parents for doing so.

As I said previously they are leaving things up to God to determine when enough is enough. Maybe this pregnancy will be normal for them and she won't have the same issues. I wish them the best, and any woman who can go through pregnancy and birth that many times is pretty amazing.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

And yet China faces social and economic disaster today on their one child policy. I guess my point is that you should judge a mother on her character, on how you observe her with her children in her full daily life on an extended basis, and not write her off as a bad mother because you think she cannot possibly be a good one due to numbers. While we're at it, we could make similar claims about mothers who must work full time, parents who are no longer together and must share custody, or mothers of multiples who physically cannot care 1:1 at most times.

All I'm saying is that we shouldn't be so awful as to write her off as a bad mother because of how many kids she has. If you want to spend the day in her house and decide that for yourself, go ahead, but surely there is more to it.

My grandmother was apparently a very good mother to all her 13 children yet according to many of you, this can't be possible. So, is my mom lying to me then? My grandmother was a bad mother? I can't recall a single person saying anything bad about her as a mother in my lifetime, yet logistically she must be a selfish/bad one. As are so many millions of other women who did the same.

You know, in many places in this world, many of us would be bad/selfish mothers for only wanting 1 or 2. Heck, I know of girls on this website itself who think you are selfish for only having 1 child.

I guess no matter what you do, someone thinks you are a bad mother, no matter how little they actually know you.

I would agree completely. I know there are women on here that think me as well as others on here are selfish to have only one child while others think it's irresponsible to have more than 2 or 3.

I think that as long as she is taking care of those kids and I am not paying for them.. which I'm not, what does it matter?

 

[tina3747]

And yet China faces social and economic disaster today on their one child policy. I guess my point is that you should judge a mother on her character, on how you observe her with her children in her full daily life on an extended basis, and not write her off as a bad mother because you think she cannot possibly be a good one due to numbers. While we're at it, we could make similar claims about mothers who must work full time, parents who are no longer together and must share custody, or mothers of multiples who physically cannot care 1:1 at most times.

All I'm saying is that we shouldn't be so awful as to write her off as a bad mother because of how many kids she has. If you want to spend the day in her house and decide that for yourself, go ahead, but surely there is more to it.

My grandmother was apparently a very good mother to all her 13 children yet according to many of you, this can't be possible. So, is my mom lying to me then? My grandmother was a bad mother? I can't recall a single person saying anything bad about her as a mother in my lifetime, yet logistically she must be a selfish/bad one. As are so many millions of other women who did the same.

You know, in many places in this world, many of us would be bad/selfish mothers for only wanting 1 or 2. Heck, I know of girls on this website itself who think you are selfish for only having 1 child.

I guess no matter what you do, someone thinks you are a bad mother, no matter how little they actually know you.

Aliss', you always say what I'm thinking!!!

 

[MizzDeeDee]

They say that they leave things in God's hands, and that is all well in good. But you would think when their last child was born early @ 25 weeks they would have learned a lesson and would be thankful and see it for a sign from God. I have no issue with them having 15, 16, 17 kids, but the issue comes when you are already told that you might be endangering another child. What are they waiting for? God to close up the baby factory?

Really? Like the numerous women on this website who had a premie that age and then had the NERVE to have another?

I guess they didn't learn their lesson either.

 

[lisaf]

"One part of the Duggar’s claim, their lack of government assistance, will change. All premature babies who weigh less than 1,200 g at birth, like Josie, are automatically eligible for Medicaid for their first year of life. Without this Medicaid most parents, even with insurance, are unable to meet the costs of such a medically fragile child.

The risk that Michelle Duggar will develop severe pre-eclampsia before 28 weeks in a subsequent pregnancy is 40%. For most people, this would be considered a substantial risk, although Jim Bob is quoted in People as saying, “You can’t let fear direct your lives.”"

https://www.examiner.com/sexual-hea...-duggar-are-open-to-the-idea-of-more-children

 

[MizzDeeDee]

Doesn't the father work.. ie: put money into the Government and has every right to get it back via Medicaid IF they are using it... though this just says they are eligible..not that they are using it. If he didn't work I would agree but he contributes...so yay for someone who pays into it getting it back!

My SIL had hypertension before she got pregnant and was watched religiously for eclampsia.......should she NOT have had my niece?

I actually did have a problem with my SIL getting pregnant but that's because she doesn't take care of the ones she has....Mrs. Dugger does.

 

[lisaf]

Doesn't the father work.. ie: put money into the Government and has every right to get it back via Medicaid IF they are using it... though this just says they are eligible..not that they are using it. If he didn't work I would agree but he contributes...so yay for someone who pays into it getting it back!

My SIL had hypertension before she got pregnant and was watched religiously for eclampsia.......should she NOT have had my niece?

I actually did have a problem with my SIL getting pregnant but that's because she doesn't take care of the ones she has....Mrs. Dugger does.

From what I read on other articles, the hospital will automatically bill Medicaid. It also said that the care for a micro-premie is usually $500K, which would also hit the lifetime limit on some insurance plans. I don't blame them for using it if they did, but thier claims to not using any public assistance need to be adjusted if they did.

This blog post was actually a pretty interesting perspective.
https://www.preemieprimer.com/my-take-on-the-today-show-interview-with-the-duggars/
In the comments on that post there is this comment "Dr. Sibia, considered by most acadmics to be one of the world experts in preeclampsia. He quotes a 60% recurrence rate for women who have severe preeclampsia before 28 weeks."

I also read that she had a gall bladder attack which is what made her preeclampsia spike.

 

[whit.]

just googled them and what the hell, they have a website, books and a reality tv show (which is probably part of how they can afford it), should have guessed really!, when you put your life out there as a form of entertainment to others you can't complain about any judgments you get because you obviously don't give a crapola about privacy. agree with the pp about carbon footprint - have to say thats one of my biggest issues with it.

I have a website.
I've started writing books before. All I'm missing is the tv show. They had 17 kids (I think) Before they were even approached for the tv show. What does it matter how they're making money to take care of their family if they can afford it? They've made several comments about how they know people will judge them, they're alright with that. They are doing what they feel in their hearts is right and who is anyone to judge them for it?

 

[MizzDeeDee]

The hospital didn't automatically bill Medicaid for Corrine... and they actually automatically enrolled her too even though I told them I had other insurance for her. Maybe it just depends on where you live... who knows?

I just think that judging people that have health problems as selfish for getting pregnant is a real slippery slope. As much as some of you will tell me it is different for me because this is my only baby, I sure heard the same crap many of you are saying.

As for her health problems- there are things that people who have a predisposition for preeclampsia can do to try to prevent it. Medications first off- and bed rest- which I can't imagine she wouldn't be on- would probably be the biggest one since blood pressure is typically higher when you are standing and/or moving.

Also as for her being in the spotlight which means she deserves this.. look at the age of the kids- they clearly were doing this before they were even known about. They didn't have these kids to make them a brand.. not like, and I have said this on here before.. the Octomom- who clearly doesn't take care of her children and wanted the limelight.

 

[lisaf]

I think we meant they chose to be in the spotlight and therefore cannot expect not to be criticized, judged.
If there were a girl on here who was doing the same thing, I would not dream of discussing her choices publicly like this. I might have private opinions but it wouldn't be my place to share them with her. Because they chose to be public figures, I feel its fair to comment on their choices.

There are people who think its irresponsible to have a child before you own a house, so I'd be judged for that too.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

I think we meant they chose to be in the spotlight and therefore cannot expect not to be criticized, judged.
If there were a girl on here who was doing the same thing, I would not dream of discussing her choices publicly like this. I might have private opinions but it wouldn't be my place to share them with her. Because they chose to be public figures, I feel its fair to comment on their choices.

There are people who think its irresponsible to have a child before you own a house, so I'd be judged for that too.

I'd rather talk about that trollop Kim K. She would have a baby for publicity. She'd have eighty if it meant airtime.

 

[menageriemom]

Everybody is entitled to their opinion about this situation, and it is definitely a hot topic. Personally, I think she is a complete nutter. Her older children are purely built in babysitters that are being pre-programmed to marry early and become breeding machines like their parents. Their religious views are extreme and it's one of their tactics for controlling their children, I would put it on the level of brainwashing. The children are not individuals. They DID NOT pay for that house they live in, nor to furnish it. Time and materials were volunteered and "donated". They claim it as a church, so they don't pay property tax on it or their 20 acres OR pay sales tax if they are buying something for their home. They are absolutely taking advantage of the system.

But, she has every right to have as many children as she physically can. They have the right to believe their crazy lifestyle is the way "God" wants it done if that's what they want, as long as their kids are being fed, housed, and clothed to legal standards - which, thankfully they are. It's unfortunate that she is risking her unborn child's life, or quality of life. I just feel badly for the kids.

 

[whit.]

 

[whit.]

I think we meant they chose to be in the spotlight and therefore cannot expect not to be criticized, judged.
If there were a girl on here who was doing the same thing, I would not dream of discussing her choices publicly like this. I might have private opinions but it wouldn't be my place to share them with her. Because they chose to be public figures, I feel its fair to comment on their choices.

There are people who think its irresponsible to have a child before you own a house, so I'd be judged for that too.

I'd rather talk about that trollop Kim K. She would have a baby for publicity. She'd have eighty if it meant airtime.

Hey, she's a smart girl. She made 7.5 million dollars off of getting married! (Actually 17.5m, but paid 10m for the wedding, so came out 7.5m)

 

[Mommi2Be]

I think what the Duggers are doing is sick. C'mon, who needs that many children?? There are so many women in the world who would love to be mothers, but for whatever reason can't conceive. And this woman has 19, and now soon to be 20?

Back in the day it was necessary to have a lot of children. They were needed to help farm, and many of them died during childhood from illness. It's not like that anymore.

I know a lot of you may disagree with me, and that's fine. You can agree or disagree. But I feel strongly about this and believe what this couple is doing is wrong.

 

[Reid]

20 kids thats a school class bonkers x