Others smoking around your children

[pinklightbulb]

There wouldn't be secondhand smoke for your child to inhale if you weren't close enough, or didn't come over just to harass me.

So yes, I see your point, but in the case of a considerate smoker like me, it shouldn't affect anyone else.

And why can't there be understanding? Everyone's life is different. People smoke for reasons... they can't quit, they have poor willpower, heck, some even LIKE it. I hear all the time on this forum about too much judging from other people. Well, a lot of smokers feel judged because of the inconsiderate ones. We aren't all the same. I feel judged when I see the annoying cough/kid face shielding/mother coming over just to berate me for smoking at all. It isn't a nice feeling.

A non-smoker may not like smoking, but honestly, there are many things in life that I don't like and I know it isn't possible to change some stuff. For now, smokers and non-smokers need to co-exist in the world, and preferably peacefully. How can we do that, when there is no understanding on one side of the fence?

**All yous general in the first paragraph

I've just said I wouldn't come over to you and say something if the smoke hasn't reached me, and I wouldnt say something if I have deliberately needed to stand by you if you were already smoking, but if the smoke has reached me when I was there first (or if it is an inappropriate place) then yes I have experienced second hand smoke and I will say something, we really are going around in circles here.

I am never going to agree with you about quitting, if it was impossible people would be hooked for life, your lack of will power is not my problem and I do not need to show understanding for it. I assume people smoke because they want to, not because they have to, if you really had to you would stop, if every cigarette spontaneously combusted tomorrow you would have no choice, if a doctor said your next cigarette would be your last, you would stop, I'm not saying it is easy but stop victimising smokers, I don't feel sorry for them, they choose to smoke.

As I say the difference between smoking and other "habits" that aren't nice in public, spitting for instance, is that smoking causes actual harm, I'm not being snobby, or particular, or sensitive about my nose so stop belittling our reasons, I am safe guarding my health, all you are doing is "getting your next fix" I don't need to be considerate to that if it imposes on me. We do not need to co exist, you need to take your habit away from people who do not want to smoke, and do I need to mention those such as asthmatics who are particularly sensitive.

I thought we were getting somewhere before

Why are you attacking me again? I am trying to show you, from my side of the coin, why it is so frustrating to be looked down upon. I really think you could be a little less rude to me. I thought we were getting somewhere too, until that.

It isn't so hard to at least try to see it from someone else's perspective, is it? I do try see it from the non-smoker's viewpoint, because I try to be considerate wherever I can and not light up around children or anyone who isn't OK with it, or anywhere I shouldn't. So I do respect that you and a lot of others don't like it. Why attack me? I don't get it, honestly. I'm just "a smoker" in this debate to you, because you aren't even trying to look at this from my perspective. I'm that person who everyone attacks because it's accepted to belittle smokers these days. I don't agree with it at all.

I don't like drunks, and they can affect others. But you don't see me going up to someone and berating them over it, just because I don't like it....

 

[louandivy]

Yeah seriously no one cares or is judging about why you smoke and why you don't choose to quit, this has gone weirdly ot.

 

[xemmax]

It reminds me of an old saying... the right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins.

But if you replace 'swing your fist' with 'exhale your smoke', the same can't be applied?

Also: Did you miss the part about peer pressure? It is very real. And that is how I started smoking. Not all teens are lucky enough to be accepted for who they are. I wasn't. I had to be "cool" so I wouldn't be bullied, and in my school smoking was the "cool" thing to do. I was bullied, and thought if I smoked like the cool kids, I would be more accepted. The mark of a thought train not quite mature, isn't it? As I said. As an adult, I know that is silly. But as a teen in a school who was being bullied, it was a way out of the isolation and being picked on every day for being a "nerd".

Sometimes... understanding someone's choices goes a long way. And this is where it isn't black and white. I don't like smoking. But I do not have the willpower to quit. I know it because I have tried it. Some aren't lucky or strong enough to make the decision to stop smoking. I am happy and proud of those that were, but I am not.

No I didn't miss that part I just don't think it has any relevance whatsoever to the discussion. Are you bullied now into continuing to smoke? Are you under pressure from your peers? The reason for you beginning to smoke has nothing to do with your continuing to smoke - you smoke now because you either want to, or because you find it difficult to quit. It's that simple.

I truly believe that if you want to quit badly enough you will do it - either alone or by seeking all of the help which is available to you. I just don't think most smokers want to quit, they just feel like they should and don't like the fact it costs so much/is inevitably going to kill them. It definitely is not easy to quit, I know that, I did it (and tried and failed countless times before), but from my experience truly wanting to is the most important step.

 

[pinklightbulb]

And the likelihood of every cigarette in the world combusting is a poor statement, as it will never happen. As long as tobacco is sold and legal, that's just a silly argument about smokers choosing to smoke. Of course we will, when it's there and available... and highly addictive.

 

[louandivy]

Omg pinklightbulb you are just beginning to sound a bit pathetic now, smokers are not oppressed victims of society - they just have a particularly bad habit that affects other people so it's natural that people think smokers should keep a distance away. Which you said you do so where is the problem?! If some people have shouted at you when you aren't even close to them then they are just generally rude people, I really dont think smokers rights are a priority in terms of equality rights

 

[Pearls18]

There wouldn't be secondhand smoke for your child to inhale if you weren't close enough, or didn't come over just to harass me.

So yes, I see your point, but in the case of a considerate smoker like me, it shouldn't affect anyone else.

And why can't there be understanding? Everyone's life is different. People smoke for reasons... they can't quit, they have poor willpower, heck, some even LIKE it. I hear all the time on this forum about too much judging from other people. Well, a lot of smokers feel judged because of the inconsiderate ones. We aren't all the same. I feel judged when I see the annoying cough/kid face shielding/mother coming over just to berate me for smoking at all. It isn't a nice feeling.

A non-smoker may not like smoking, but honestly, there are many things in life that I don't like and I know it isn't possible to change some stuff. For now, smokers and non-smokers need to co-exist in the world, and preferably peacefully. How can we do that, when there is no understanding on one side of the fence?

**All yous general in the first paragraph

I've just said I wouldn't come over to you and say something if the smoke hasn't reached me, and I wouldnt say something if I have deliberately needed to stand by you if you were already smoking, but if the smoke has reached me when I was there first (or if it is an inappropriate place) then yes I have experienced second hand smoke and I will say something, we really are going around in circles here.

I am never going to agree with you about quitting, if it was impossible people would be hooked for life, your lack of will power is not my problem and I do not need to show understanding for it. I assume people smoke because they want to, not because they have to, if you really had to you would stop, if every cigarette spontaneously combusted tomorrow you would have no choice, if a doctor said your next cigarette would be your last, you would stop, I'm not saying it is easy but stop victimising smokers, I don't feel sorry for them, they choose to smoke.

As I say the difference between smoking and other "habits" that aren't nice in public, spitting for instance, is that smoking causes actual harm, I'm not being snobby, or particular, or sensitive about my nose so stop belittling our reasons, I am safe guarding my health, all you are doing is "getting your next fix" I don't need to be considerate to that if it imposes on me. We do not need to co exist, you need to take your habit away from people who do not want to smoke, and do I need to mention those such as asthmatics who are particularly sensitive.

I thought we were getting somewhere before

Why are you attacking me again? I am trying to show you, from my side of the coin, why it is so frustrating to be looked down upon. I really think you could be a little less rude to me. I thought we were getting somewhere too, until that.

It isn't so hard to at least try to see it from someone else's perspective, is it? I do try see it from the non-smoker's viewpoint, because I try to be considerate wherever I can and not light up around children or anyone who isn't OK with it, or anywhere I shouldn't. So I do respect that you and a lot of others don't like it. Why attack me? I don't get it, honestly. I'm just "a smoker" in this debate to you, because you aren't even trying to look at this from my perspective. I'm that person who everyone attacks because it's accepted to belittle smokers these days. I don't agree with it at all.

I don't like drunks, and they can affect others. But you don't see me going up to someone and berating them over it, just because I don't like it....

You're being incredibly frustrating because you are completely ignoring what we are saying. I have acknowledged the one valid point of yours about people standing by you when you were already smoking and then complaining, we don't actually seem to be arguing here because I am saying if smokers are considerate then everything is fine and dandy, you are saying you are a considerate smoker so what is the issue here???

So why can't we just all get to the point here and say INCONSIDERATE smokers are the problem???

And for the last time, drunks might be annoying, they might smell but they aren't harming my health so no I don't berate them.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I do want to quit, and one day, might find the inner strength. Until then, I don't want to be bullied FOR the poor decision I made when I was younger-- and yes, non-smokers DO bully, and if they think what they do at times in public to smokers isn't, then they are naïve. Smoking around children is wrong. But non-smokers don't get to dictate where I am if I'm in an area that is not non-smoking... and a lot of them do, when they have children. I see mothers with kids giving me filthy looks all the time when I am not smoking around them. Kids come over to where I am and I get the blame when where was the parent who was supposed to be watching them? If I am in a place where a non-smoker knows is not signposted, chances are, there will be a smoker somewhere. Why is it OK to blame the smoker for exercising their legal right to smoke in that place? If the non-smoker doesn't like it, why don't they take their kids to an area they know will be smoke-free? Smokers have to pick and choose very carefully these days, as it's banned in so many places. It isn't fair to infringe on our space any more than it is that we infringe on yours.

 

[Pearls18]

And the likelihood of every cigarette in the world combusting is a poor statement, as it will never happen. As long as tobacco is sold and legal, that's just a silly argument about smokers choosing to smoke. Of course we will, when it's there and available... and highly addictive.

My point is if you couldn't smoke any more your body wouldn't give up, if you went on holiday and couldn't find any your body wouldn't cease to function, yes you are addicted and WANT cigarettes, you may get withdrawals, but you don't need them, so for that reason you can give up, you just choose not to.

 

[onetwothreebp]

There are many things you don't like in life? Do they give you cancer???

I don't even understand how this is a debate.

 

[pinklightbulb]

Omg pinklightbulb you are just beginning to sound a bit pathetic now, smokers are not oppressed victims of society - they just have a particularly bad habit that affects other people so it's natural that people think smokers should keep a distance away. Which you said you do so where is the problem?! If some people have shouted at you when you aren't even close to them then they are just generally rude people, I really dont think smokers rights are a priority in terms of equality rights

What is with you calling me pathetic just because my opinion is different to yours? If you haven't noticed I'm the only smoker on this thread. I came in wanting to say we aren't all people that have no respect for non-smokers and their kids and I get attacked. Not cool. I know it's a debate thread but calling me pathetic is a little too personal.

 

[louandivy]

We have all said that inconsiderate smokers are the problem, we have repeated that over and over again! Are you being deliberately obtuse for the sake of a debate or have you seriously missed the part where we have all stated that many times?!

 

[pinklightbulb]

There are many things you don't like in life? Do they give you cancer???

I don't even understand how this is a debate.

Well, why is it in the debate section?

How far away is far enough when it comes to smoking around children? You can't keep them in a bubble forever.

 

[Pearls18]

I do want to quit, and one day, might find the inner strength. Until then, I don't want to be bullied FOR the poor decision I made when I was younger-- and yes, non-smokers DO bully, and if they think what they do at times in public to smokers isn't, then they are naïve. Smoking around children is wrong. But non-smokers don't get to dictate where I am if I'm in an area that is not non-smoking... and a lot of them do, when they have children. I see mothers with kids giving me filthy looks all the time when I am not smoking around them. Kids come over to where I am and I get the blame when where was the parent who was supposed to be watching them? If I am in a place where a non-smoker knows is not signposted, chances are, there will be a smoker somewhere. Why is it OK to blame the smoker for exercising their legal right to smoke in that place? If the non-smoker doesn't like it, why don't they take their kids to an area they know will be smoke-free? Smokers have to pick and choose very carefully these days, as it's banned in so many places. It isn't fair to infringe on our space any more than it is that we infringe on yours.

I'm ignoring the rest because I'm not repeating myself, read my previous posts.

 

[pinklightbulb]

We have all said that inconsiderate smokers are the problem, we have repeated that over and over again! Are you being deliberately obtuse for the sake of a debate or have you seriously missed the part where we have all stated that many times?!

You are almost impossible to debate with, but hey ho.

I'm saying that non-smokers can be just as inconsiderate and obtuse, but some in this thread seem to think they aren't just because they made the better choice not to smoke. I'm sick of smokers always being the bad guy. We're human. So are you. Why can't non-smokers remember that sometimes?

 

[Pearls18]

There are many things you don't like in life? Do they give you cancer???

I don't even understand how this is a debate.

Well, why is it in the debate section?

How far away is far enough when it comes to smoking around children? You can't keep them in a bubble forever.

Do you smoke around your children?

 

[Pearls18]

We have all said that inconsiderate smokers are the problem, we have repeated that over and over again! Are you being deliberately obtuse for the sake of a debate or have you seriously missed the part where we have all stated that many times?!

You are almost impossible to debate with, but hey ho.

I'm saying that non-smokers can be just as inconsiderate and obtuse, but some in this thread seem to think they aren't just because they made the better choice not to smoke. I'm sick of smokers always being the bad guy. We're human. So are you. Why can't non-smokers remember that sometimes?

You're not debating, you are repeating yourself.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I do want to quit, and one day, might find the inner strength. Until then, I don't want to be bullied FOR the poor decision I made when I was younger-- and yes, non-smokers DO bully, and if they think what they do at times in public to smokers isn't, then they are naïve. Smoking around children is wrong. But non-smokers don't get to dictate where I am if I'm in an area that is not non-smoking... and a lot of them do, when they have children. I see mothers with kids giving me filthy looks all the time when I am not smoking around them. Kids come over to where I am and I get the blame when where was the parent who was supposed to be watching them? If I am in a place where a non-smoker knows is not signposted, chances are, there will be a smoker somewhere. Why is it OK to blame the smoker for exercising their legal right to smoke in that place? If the non-smoker doesn't like it, why don't they take their kids to an area they know will be smoke-free? Smokers have to pick and choose very carefully these days, as it's banned in so many places. It isn't fair to infringe on our space any more than it is that we infringe on yours.

I'm ignoring the rest because I'm not repeating myself, read my previous posts.

You told me you wouldn't try to understand. Of course I'm rubbed the wrong way about that. That's pretty cold, from a fellow human being who must have made bad choices sometimes too in their life. Mine just happens to be one that's OK to slam people for these days, that's all.

 

[louandivy]

We have all said that inconsiderate smokers are the problem, we have repeated that over and over again! Are you being deliberately obtuse for the sake of a debate or have you seriously missed the part where we have all stated that many times?!

You are almost impossible to debate with, but hey ho.

I'm saying that non-smokers can be just as inconsiderate and obtuse, but some in this thread seem to think they aren't just because they made the better choice not to smoke. I'm sick of smokers always being the bad guy. We're human. So are you. Why can't non-smokers remember that sometimes?

This is hardly a debate, it's just you saying that you are bullied for being a smoker over and over again when everyone has stated that they only have a problem with inconsiderate smokers.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I asked a question just before: where do you draw the line about smoking in public when there are kids around? And how far away in public is far enough? As a smoker I am genuinely curious to know whether I am one of these inconsiderate people or I could be more flexible.

 

[Pearls18]

I do want to quit, and one day, might find the inner strength. Until then, I don't want to be bullied FOR the poor decision I made when I was younger-- and yes, non-smokers DO bully, and if they think what they do at times in public to smokers isn't, then they are naïve. Smoking around children is wrong. But non-smokers don't get to dictate where I am if I'm in an area that is not non-smoking... and a lot of them do, when they have children. I see mothers with kids giving me filthy looks all the time when I am not smoking around them. Kids come over to where I am and I get the blame when where was the parent who was supposed to be watching them? If I am in a place where a non-smoker knows is not signposted, chances are, there will be a smoker somewhere. Why is it OK to blame the smoker for exercising their legal right to smoke in that place? If the non-smoker doesn't like it, why don't they take their kids to an area they know will be smoke-free? Smokers have to pick and choose very carefully these days, as it's banned in so many places. It isn't fair to infringe on our space any more than it is that we infringe on yours.

I'm ignoring the rest because I'm not repeating myself, read my previous posts.

You told me you wouldn't try to understand. Of course I'm rubbed the wrong way about that. That's pretty cold, from a fellow human being who must have made bad choices sometimes too in their life. Mine just happens to be one that's OK to slam people for these days, that's all.

I was bullied too, you don't see me blaming any problems or issues in my life on that. You want to beat the bullies and peer pressure so you're not a victim to them anymore? Stop smoking. If you really want to not let them win any more, stop smoking. If you smoke because you want to, stop making excuses for it, no one here is saying you're a bad person for smoking.