Over 30, expecting #1

[Mayalake]

So, just found out that I can afford the birth center, which really fits my husband and I much better than a hospital, but (why is there always a 'but'?) the birth center prenatal care does not include ultra sounds

I could get one but then I would have to pay outta pocket.

Oh, the dilemma. Do you think I can get through the whole 9 months without the reassuring view of my lil' bean?

Lots to think about.

Listen to Mrs. AJ and get a private scan or two. You need to see her/or him. It's part of the experience. I am so proud of my baby's first picture. Isn't she cute sitting there cuddling her little yolk sac. I'm a mommy to a tiny bean!
If your doc does the ultrasounds and you have insurance with them, can't you pretend like you plan on giving birth with them, and just get the free ultrasounds?

 

[lizzywiz]

Lots of good ideas, ladies!
I like the idea about starting at the regular doc, getting a dating scan (I could care less about the date, just want to see bean's heart), and then switching. I figure worse case maybe I have to pay 2 copays, but I want to look into it to make sure that can't somehow stick me with a much bigger bill.
Every dollar we save now means I can stay home a wee bit longer, so I am trying to be very careful.

Mayalake- it's pictures like yours that make it hard to consider not having a scan- too cute!

Mrs. AJ- I didn't realize scans could be so cheap- thanks for that info

Purplelilly- I think I gained 3 lbs just today Seriously though, today and yesterday have been out of hand with the eating and I have to reign it in.

 

[purplelilly]

Lizzywiz-- hahahaha... i've got those 3lb days too!lol I actually fluctuate alot. I keep telling myself that i won't get on the scale any day but saturday morning, then i get up tuesday feeling like a balloon from the weekend and get on the scale anyway . So far no major gains but if i'm reaaaally drinking alot one day it'll go up 3lbs but back down the next

 

[Mrs. AJ]

I only gained one pound in first tri due to morning sickness, but have packed on about thirty since then!

 

[lizzywiz]

Mrs. AJ- that is right on track, right? Isn't the recommended total 25-35 lbs?

I am a 'medium' sized girl generally speaking, wearing an american 6, 8, or 10 depending on where I am in my normal 5 pound +/- range and how my work out schedule is looking. I have never been 'slender', so I didn't expect to care much about pregnancy weight, as my weight has never been something I cared too much about. Turns out, I am bothered by it!
I have gained 2-3 pounds since I found, partially because I quit running (I know it can be safe, but with how long we tried and my PCOS, we are going the uber careful route), and partially because I am making sure to eat more consistently and often or else I feel sick. In the past, when I had an all I can eat type of day, I would restrict the next day, but now I just feel so crappy when I restrict. So, all of my indulgences here and there are adding up quicker than I have ever experienced. I am sure a bit of it is the belly and boob bloat, but mostly it is the doughnut I had at the staff meeting and the hot chocolate I had instead of my usual black coffee (I'm also off most caffeine).

On one hand, I don't really care, but on the other hand, when my belly jiggles just so, I really want to get a handle on it.

 

[Mrs. AJ]

Well, with 7 weeks to go, I'll probably be close to 40 by the end and my doctor actually gave me a little lecture about it. But really, it isn't that much over and I feel like it is mostly belly and boobs so I'm not that worried. I have an appointment tomorrow, so we'll see exactly where I am at.

 

[lizzywiz]

I was really moody today and had my first ,"Oh, crap, what the hell are we doing?!' moment. It felt icky, like thinking bad thoughts about the baby.

The thing is, we have been married for 11 years and trying for about half as long and we kinda started to get used to the idea that it wasn't going to happen. We liked our little life together, although we wanted a family and figured we would adopt eventually. Now, today, it just really hit me- this is going to change everything.

DUH, right?

Anyone else go through this?

I really want this baby and to have a family with my husband, I just wish I could see into the future and get a guarantee that it is all going to turn out ok.

Whew, what a roller-coaster!

How's everybody doing this week?

 

[Ellebear]

Hi all!
I am 38 and 5 wks pregnant with number 2!

 

[Ellebear]

oops its for first timers! sorry
x

 

[lizzywiz]

Shh, Ellebear, we won't tell . You are welcome to hang out with us on this thread!

 

[purplelilly]

I was really moody today and had my first ,"Oh, crap, what the hell are we doing?!' moment. It felt icky, like thinking bad thoughts about the baby.

The thing is, we have been married for 11 years and trying for about half as long and we kinda started to get used to the idea that it wasn't going to happen. We liked our little life together, although we wanted a family and figured we would adopt eventually. Now, today, it just really hit me- this is going to change everything.

DUH, right?

Anyone else go through this?

I really want this baby and to have a family with my husband, I just wish I could see into the future and get a guarantee that it is all going to turn out ok.

Whew, what a roller-coaster!

How's everybody doing this week?

Lizzywiz-- I go thru that about once a week but maybe only 1/2 hr or so Every now & then it just seems scary! Then on the other hand...

Saturday DH told me that MIL has a "plan" for when the baby is born.(insert uhhoohhh here) Now we all work together at our shop. She works 5 days a week 8am-12pm. I work 8am-6pm 6days a week right now. Now her plan is to work 2 full days a week and then babysit for the rest of the week Don't get me wrong i appreciate the offer but i'm not even out of the first trimester and already having seperation anxiety! It's her only grandchild (at 66yrs old!) so i'm thinkin she's gonna be a handful with spreading out the time with the baby!

Mannnnn, do i understand the weight worry! I think we all do it. I have been a size 6 for a couple of years and ok with that. I went up 15lbs comfort eating while TTC for 7mths (nothing combats a BFN like chocolate icecream right?) If we didn't concieve when we did we were going to take a break for a couple mths and that would be enough time to take that weight back off. But now i'm perculating a cadbury egg so i'm not going to get rid of the weight yet but am trying to keep the gain to a minimum if possible. Doc seems not to be worried since i was within normal range before but the thought of 35lbs more is SCARY! I'll do it for my baby but DAMN!

Sorry all for the rant, jus one of those days!lol

 

[Mrs. AJ]

Lizzy I think that is totally normal for all first time moms, but especially for moms who are a little older since we are so used to just living our lives how we want.

 

[Leila Fae]

Lizzy, yup I'm with you there! We're used to our life as it is. DH is away a lot but that has given me lots of freedom to do what I like and we have a really solid marriage which has been able to cope with the separation. I'm very conscious that in a few weeks time DH is back home (and not supposed to doing any long term work away) and next year we'll have a baby so my days of freedom will be gone. HOWEVER, I've totally made the most of my freedom during our 3 year TTC journey and I want a baby so much that I don't mind.

Doesn't mean I don't get the heebie jeebies from time to time though

I've got my first pregnancy cold and it's not fun not being able to take any medication. I've got a stack of lemons in the house so I'm knocking back the hot honey and lemon drinks.

I went to see the GP today about the flu jab and to discuss my diabetic care. I'm seen by King's College Hospital up in London (we live in the South East) and they will manage my antenatal care, but that's absolutely every aspect of my care - appointments every two weeks (from when I was 5 weeks pregnant) and then every week from about half way through, plus induction and delivery all up in London.

I spoke to the GP about my options locally but to be honest while going to London is a bit of a pain (and will be even more so when I'm not working in London) the care at King's is second to none and that's the best place for me so the decision is made. I had always wanted to have my baby in Kent but I have to consider the quality of my antenatal care. I feel better now that the decision is made and I can get my head around the fact that I'll be having my baby in London.

In other news I have a scan tomorrow at King's. Can't wait to see Mini Bean again and make sure everything's ok

 

[lizzywiz]

Lizzy, yup I'm with you there! We're used to our life as it is. DH is away a lot but that has given me lots of freedom to do what I like and we have a really solid marriage which has been able to cope with the separation. I'm very conscious that in a few weeks time DH is back home (and not supposed to doing any long term work away) and next year we'll have a baby so my days of freedom will be gone. HOWEVER, I've totally made the most of my freedom during our 3 year TTC journey and I want a baby so much that I don't mind.

My husband and I have been very independent in our marriage, also. Between military service, graduate school and new careers, we have always had to be flexible with each other's time and energy. That has never been a problem- we have even been known to take separate vacations if one of us couldn’t get off of work or miss school or whatever. Of course we loved to vacation together, but we can both manage on our own when need be . I always felt it made our marriage stronger, but now things are changing. Now our lives will enmesh so completely and I am sure there will be some growing pains.
Let us know every lil’ detail about your scan! (and it sounds like London fits your needs better than Kent, so hopefully the drive isn’t too bad).

Purplelilly- You work with your MIL?! Even the best in-law relationship could buckle under that and now a new baby in the mix, whoa.Maybe she will accept that she can spend time with the baby at work and help with the bean's care in that way,...here's to hoping!
Re: weight- I so wanted to be one of those mom’s who was naturally healthy during pregnancy and blasé about the weight, but I am not as healthy or as blasé as I imagined! My figure has never been my crowning glory but I would like to stay in the average range as long as possible!

Thanks for the responses regarding my minor freak out. I thought I would have less angst given how long I fought to be in this moment.

 

[Leila Fae]

Well this is my scan from last Tuesday when I was 7w6d, although Mini Bean's measuring at 8w0d. It was taken at my IVF clinic. I think it's super cute!


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[Mrs. AJ]

Very cute scan pic Leila! I had a scan at 8w and by my next one at 11w I was amazed how much baby had changed .

 

[lizzywiz]

so is that whole little bean the baby? and the space around it the amniotic fluid? and the fuzzy space just the rest of the uterus?

(sorry, don't know how to read these, yet!)

 

[purplelilly]

leila-- that is a georgous picture! love it, what a perfect jelly bean!(even looks like your ticker!)........10 days to my scan,,,, 10 days to my scan, lol
Lizzy- you're reading the scan right!
- MIL at work is a test like you can only imagine! You ready for this ...........
Until a year ago she also lived with US for 5 YEARRSSS!!!! Now just at work seems to have helped our relationship alot, but those 5 years felt like 20! Especially with an Italian mom who dotes on her 42yr old son something terrible. Too many hens in one house for sure!!! It's gonna be interesting when the baby comes but at least i know there is gonna be ALOT of love for our child!

 

[lizzywiz]

Mannnnn, do i understand the weight worry! I think we all do it. I have been a size 6 for a couple of years and ok with that. I went up 15lbs comfort eating while TTC for 7mths (nothing combats a BFN like chocolate icecream right?) lol

Ohhh, the TTC pounds,...that is a whole other story! I definitely put on some of those, too!

Re: MIL
Lots of love for the baby- that is a really wonderful way to look at it. You are a better woman than I

 

[Mrs. AJ]

Yes, you are seriously a better woman than me regarding your MIL! Five years!!!!!????? I would have gone mad. I get annoyed just from my DH talking to MIL on the phone. She is just ridiculous and says the most ridiculous, insensitive things sometimes. And has not showed an ounce of interest in baby or sent us a single baby gift...oh well.