Overweight or obese and TTC?

[FleurDeLis]

Hey ladies,

I can't take this anymore and i need to "talk" to someone. On July 15, 2011 i thought i was having my period, but it was really heavier, very painful and i noticed that i was passing blobs of tissue that wasn't normal. After consulting with a Dr., we were informed that I had miscarried and we didn't even know I was pregnant. My husband refuses to talk about it and wants me to "just forget it" and not tell anyone. I feel as if I'm at my wits end trying to keep up this happy facade and I'm not doing a good job. I found out yesterday that another of my friends is pregnant. That makes 5 due in March 2012 and 1 due in December. The dr. told us that I was about 6 weeks pregnant when we mc. I just need advice bc I'm super heartbroken and I can't keep it bottled up.

Fleurdelis...I am soooo sorry for your loss.... I wish there was something I could do but know I will be thinking about you (even though I don't know you). Did they tell you when you can try again?

Kate,
Thank you so much for your kindness.... I read your TTC journal and I pray that you and Bubbie get the baby that you want.

The dr said that we can start immediately as soon as I have another cycle. I have another appointment set for August 10th. If i haven't had by then, he said that he would put me on Birth control pills for a few months to regulate my period. However, in a weird way I don't want the BCP's bc even though it was heartbreaking to MC it was also hopeful knowing that I can get pregnant. (we've been told that we couldn't bc DH has hypospadias) I don't want to take the BCP and hinder any of our chances....does that make sense??

I actually had a nervous breakdown today at work, my boss actually called one of our office chaplains to come and talk to me. I made a mistake (I'm in insurance and had a possible E&O) it was an honest mistake, but my mind just wasn't where it needed to be. I do feel better after talking it through with the chaplain. I never thougth I would utilize the service, but it helped!!!

 

[FleurDeLis]

aw fleur!!! that sucks! you can definitely talk to us! I just met for lunch today with a former student from my first year of teaching who became a friend after she graduated (she's 25 now) and she just miscarried at six weeks too, just this week. It doesn't make it any easier that it's "early". That's not fair that your hubby wants to not talk about it. That's how some men deal. I'm afraid that if it happened to me that my hubby would be similar...like "it just wasn't meant to be, let's move on" when I know I would be broken about it. You're going to heal, but take all the time you need to be sad. but also be hopeful for future babies!!

Thank you HappyCloud!!!

I've wanted to call my mom for the past two weeks, but everytime i mention something my husband gets very angry. He is having a difficult time dealing with it. i've tried to show him the positive bc we actually conceived after we had been told that we wouldn't!! ( My DH has hypospadias) I've tried to honor his wishes of keeping between the two of us, but I'm just not that kind of person. I wear my heart and emotions on my sleeve and I can't just keep my feelings and emotions bottled up.

I'm sorry to hear about your friends MC. It is very hard, even in my head, I think of it as "my baby" when it wasn't even a fully formed fetus.

As I mentioned to Kate earlier, I had a breakdown at work and they called one of our office chaplains to come and talk with me. That actually helped. I got it out....

Thanks for "talking"

 

[binksmommy]

I'm 244 right now and not having any luck in the TTC dept.. but had my daughter after loosing 60lbs... I was 218 back then..

 

[happycloud]

aw fleur!!! that sucks! you can definitely talk to us! I just met for lunch today with a former student from my first year of teaching who became a friend after she graduated (she's 25 now) and she just miscarried at six weeks too, just this week. It doesn't make it any easier that it's "early". That's not fair that your hubby wants to not talk about it. That's how some men deal. I'm afraid that if it happened to me that my hubby would be similar...like "it just wasn't meant to be, let's move on" when I know I would be broken about it. You're going to heal, but take all the time you need to be sad. but also be hopeful for future babies!!

Thank you HappyCloud!!!

I've wanted to call my mom for the past two weeks, but everytime i mention something my husband gets very angry. He is having a difficult time dealing with it. i've tried to show him the positive bc we actually conceived after we had been told that we wouldn't!! ( My DH has hypospadias) I've tried to honor his wishes of keeping between the two of us, but I'm just not that kind of person. I wear my heart and emotions on my sleeve and I can't just keep my feelings and emotions bottled up.

I'm sorry to hear about your friends MC. It is very hard, even in my head, I think of it as "my baby" when it wasn't even a fully formed fetus.

As I mentioned to Kate earlier, I had a breakdown at work and they called one of our office chaplains to come and talk with me. That actually helped. I got it out....

Thanks for "talking"

When it rains, it pours. Ugh, work! Who needs to work when in the middle of something like a miscarriage??! My friend from today who had the mc, she told her boss (a priest...she's a church youth minister) and he has been tip toeing around her all week like "you can go home if you need to"...so sweet (he's actually my pastor too because that's my parish.)
I think it is 100% your choice to call your mom. I can't imagine not calling my mom!
I completely understand about the bcp. I too would avoid that. It seems like a kick of progesterone via prometrium would kick start your period if need be...then you can watch your temps, cf, and opks and see if you ovulate. I've heard (and my friend mentioned today) you are pretty fertile after a mc.

Keep your chin up!

 

[caity86]

hey girls
Struggling today! doc told me I didnt ovulate this month and I really need to stop eating so much sugar to stop my ovaries making male hormones. I dont know what to do!!!! ARGH. ok vent over. will go to wholefoods store 2moro and get actual proper food and not processed crap lol xxx

 

[BabyMaybe917]

Haven't caught up on all the pages I've missed in this thread but thought I'd start by replying to FleurDeLis So sorry to hear about your loss. I'm not sure what your cycles were like before but I would definetely avoid BCP! It seems like it would just make it worse. But I'm not a dr? I take Provera to start AF and I assume it would work after an mc as well. again!

I've hit a milestone... I've weighed myself and I've lost 50 lbs now. I still have quite a ways to go but am very happy with what I've lost so far. Also, AF finally arrived. Since stopping BCP back in February I have had a few days of spotting and that's all! Not sure if it really even counts as spotting... So long as AF is still here in the morning I will call the dr and schedule my HSG.

Anyone that's on Provera... I take it for 10 days and then it took 4 days after for AF to start... so does that mean my cycle will be an extra 14 days? Or do I start the Provera at cd 14 to keep my cycle right at 28 days? I don't go back to the dr until August 16th and will ask her then but just curious as I can't really find anything about cycle days. Thanks in advance for any help!

to all those TTC!!!

 

[Glowbug]

Bfn. Of coarse.

Anyone else test today?

 

[unapologetik]

Hello ladies.. I would like to join you if that's ok?

I've always had trouble with my weight.. I'm probably around 300lbs right now, and my "ideal weight" for my height is about half that!

I'm currently the biggest I've ever been in my life.. I definitely need to make some changes, now.

I'm bad at sticking to any kind of lifestyle changes.. exercise, dieting.. I tend to start or say I'm going to start, then never do or give up very early.

It doesn't help that I have had 2 very bad ankle injuries when I was younger, and it makes any kind of prolonged walking or standing painful. I hate that I sound like one of those big girls who wants to find excuses for being big.. I don't, I know I'm lazy and don't eat right. But being lazy + sore ankles = blah!!

I'm TTC #1 right now and on my second cycle.. AF is due Aug 6-8 so I'll try to hold off testing til then.

I don't have any distinct plans for trying to lose weight.. I'm kind of praying that I get a BFP soon, and then after the baby comes I'll commit to losing weight and keeping it off. But I know weight can play a factor in TTC, and can cause higher risk pregnancies.. so if I don't get a BFP within the next few months, I might start cracking down on myself.

Good lucky everyone!

 

[yanjan]

Goodluck ladies, hope this will be ur month n tht u all get BFPs, am still on my 2 ww, but doubt this will be my month. Still struggling with the weight, after long hours of excercize i hv lost 6 lbs , my body getting tired of the work outs, all i want now is a BFP, forget the workouts.

 

[Try Rocking]

FleurDeLis I am so sorry to hear about your mc and that your OH is choosing to pretend it never happened. I think you should tell your mom about it because you need to be able to talk about it. Pretending it never happened doesn't change the fact that it did and I am happy that you are able to get pregnant, that is wonderful news! I hope you get your sticky bean soon!

unapologetik we're close in weight, I am not exactly the most fit person and I don't exactly eat right either but I am trying! I've been on and off trying since January but now I'm really trying to get back into it because I would love to get knocked up in September

 

[happycloud]

Bfn. Of coarse.

Anyone else test today?

Yep, I caved. 10dpo and BFN. But I'm not sad...I know it's early!

Welcome to the thread, unapologetik!

As I get closer and closer to this possibility of being pregnant, I still find those terrible thoughts of worry and guilt about doing this while obese. It wasn't that long ago that I felt overweight but not obese, and I look back on that self and wish I could tell her to not gain more weight! I just did that whole fat and happy fall in love thing and boom, it's hard to get off the couch. Literally. I also used to be one of those people that carried their weight well, like my face was still fairly slim, but not so much anymore
I really want to do this but am so mad at myself that at age 34 when it's finally time for me to try and get pregnant (I was one of those 'always a bridesmaid, never a bride' cliches and just got married a year ago), my body is in it's worst state ever!
I feel like I've sabotaged myself!

Thanks for listening!

 

[yanjan]

Happycloud, i get gulity feelings 2 , sometimes i jst push myself to workout alot n lose as much weight as possible, nothing happens, sumtimes i jst give up. Iam trying for # 2 , n i feel so much pressure coz of age. Goodluck to u , hope this is ur month

 

[FleurDeLis]

I've decided to post something happy.

We have baby names and they are kind of old fashioned...

Elison David "Eli"
Esther Lee "Essie"
Eliza Pearl "Elle"

What do you think? These names were in a dream that i had when my DH and I first got married. In my dream we had triplets. One boy and 2 girls. The names are a combination of his family and my family names. It's interesting how vivid and detailed the dream was.

We also have another boy name if we need it: Erwin Thomas

 

[happycloud]

Nice classy names fleur!

Mine are: Ruby Bonita and Charles (Charlie) Rand

Ruby is not as popular in the states as in Great Britain...I'm hoping it doesn't suddenly become popular here. That always seems to be how it is!

 

[unapologetik]

Thanks happycloud.

I love your names, both of you!

I keep juggling names.. I like Lysander Matthew for a boy, and Leona Margaret for a girl. But that's just right now.. it changes all the time.

I understand about feeling guilty.. like you don't want your baby in an unhealthy house, so it's natural not to want to grow them in an unhealthy environment. I guess the way I justify it is, I'm a generally healthy person in every other way.. no high blood pressure or cholesterol, don't smoke or do drugs, and only drink occasionally. I know once I become pregnant, I'm going to be neurotic about eating right, sleeping right, getting the right vitamins and health care. When it's not about me - me getting up off my butt and exercising, or me not eating greasy food - but about my child, I'll step up 100%.

I'm half and half right now.. begging the 2ww to be over with so I can test, but not anxious to find out if it's a BFP/BFN. Of course I want the BFP - but BFNs get so disappointing. The idea of entering another cycle is kind of exhausting, especially since one of my donors said he wasn't going to donate anymore. I have a lot of hope riding on this cycle, I'm sort of trying to will a BFP.. but if it worked like that, I'm sure we'd all already have our LOs.

 

[baestep22]

Y'all have good names! I was actually of asking if anyone had names picked and what they were. But then I felt silly. Lol anyway the names we have are:
Annabelle Yvonne
Noah Joel
Elizabeth Anne

We can't agree on a second boy name. But I hope we wont need another. Lol

 

[wannabemummyb]

We have chosen Robyn Anne for girl and Robin David for a boy. I have always wanted to have robin as a name for my kids and it is also my father in laws name.

My losing / diet has not been going that well this week been out for dinner a lot, and although I try to go for the healthy options its not been home cooked/ home made salad

 

[happycloud]

Cute names!

Still BFN here...big temp dip today too (probably too late for implantation dip), but still no sign of AF...other than I feel really grumpy/weepy (pms?)

 

[FleurDeLis]

Nice classy names fleur!

Mine are: Ruby Bonita and Charles (Charlie) Rand

Ruby is not as popular in the states as in Great Britain...I'm hoping it doesn't suddenly become popular here. That always seems to be how it is!

I love the name Ruby...and to put it with Bonita....Beautiful Ruby...I love it!!

 

[FleurDeLis]

Thanks happycloud.

I love your names, both of you!

I keep juggling names.. I like Lysander Matthew for a boy, and Leona Margaret for a girl. But that's just right now.. it changes all the time.

I understand about feeling guilty.. like you don't want your baby in an unhealthy house, so it's natural not to want to grow them in an unhealthy environment. I guess the way I justify it is, I'm a generally healthy person in every other way.. no high blood pressure or cholesterol, don't smoke or do drugs, and only drink occasionally. I know once I become pregnant, I'm going to be neurotic about eating right, sleeping right, getting the right vitamins and health care. When it's not about me - me getting up off my butt and exercising, or me not eating greasy food - but about my child, I'll step up 100%.

I'm half and half right now.. begging the 2ww to be over with so I can test, but not anxious to find out if it's a BFP/BFN. Of course I want the BFP - but BFNs get so disappointing. The idea of entering another cycle is kind of exhausting, especially since one of my donors said he wasn't going to donate anymore. I have a lot of hope riding on this cycle, I'm sort of trying to will a BFP.. but if it worked like that, I'm sure we'd all already have our LOs.

I really like Lysander. It is very unusual and sounds classy at the same time..