PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[dairymomma]

Everything stopped last night. Have only had one little swipe of tan discharge today and my labs aren't in yet so I have no idea what's going on. But I'm still convinced it's over though I'm not stopping my meds until it's officially confirmed. And I had a major panic attack last night because of this. Shakes, chills, tears, inability to talk clearly, everything. And DH wasn't home...I did manage to send an SOS text to my therapist and she called me right away. It took a 45 min phone call with her though to get me to calm down and I slept like a rock last night because I was so worn out. She got me to see I was trying to think about too many 'what ifs' and figuring out what I'd do for each scenario, and it was overloading my brain to the point where I literally couldn't function. So I have some breathing exercises to do, some emotional release/meditation stuff to do, and I need to keep reminding myself to be patient, that the answers will be revealed when it's meant to be known. It's hard and being PARL sucks so much already without being in limbo and having bleeding. But I'm doing better today. Still convinced it's over but not so freaked out by that knowledge either.

 

[Ummi2boyz]

Oh! Dairy
Hope you'll be out of limboland very soon, and with good news.

 

[blueblue]

Dairy - I hope everything is still going better today. It's natural to panic, I've a quite a few scares with this morning and been convinced it's over 3/4 times, it's only now the bleeding has settled. PARL is very scary. Take care and put your feet up at the moment

D - I nearly fell off my sofa! Can you have a proper chat with him about it?

 

[Tasha]

Dairy, I hope everything is okay.

How's everyone else?

I'm 24 weeks today x

 

[wookie130]

Tasha- I'm glad to hear you've made it thus far, and that baby is fine!

Dairy- Ugh, I'm frustrated for you. I hope it's not another loss, and that this baby is just keeping you on your toes.

 

[Ummi2boyz]

Tasha: happy 24 weeks

 

[Hope39]

Congratulations on V Day Tasha -so happy you've reached it xx

 

[Tasha]

Thank you so much girls. I'm booking a 4d scan tomorrow to celebrate and reaffirm that we will get through this week

 

[Hope39]

Will the scan be for the following week because you have one this week x

 

[Tasha]

Yeah, if there is any avaliablity left, as it will be the school holidays so my children can come with us.

How are you doing hun?

 

[Hope39]

OK, wishing i could go sleep and wake up on thursday, lol x

 

[Tasha]

Not surprising hun! Is work busy this week?

 

[Hope39]

It can be busy, depends how much i want to do, or how much i can concentrate might be more appropriate

xx

 

[ab75]

Happy 24 weeks Tasha xx

 

[dairymomma]

Hope I totally know what you mean. I wish I could just sleep the next few days away and Thursday would be here in a flash.

Tasha-happy 24 weeks! Seems like just yesterday you were giving that cautious bfp announcement and here you are.

AFM- Still waiting. At this point, I'd settle for a m/c starting just so this infernal waiting would be OVER. My bloods still aren't in yet (usually it's 24 hours after the draw and I can access the results but despite them being drawn on Friday at 11am, the results aren't there. Argh.) and I'm still firmly on the fence. I've passed a dime sized clot every night between 7-8pm for the last 4 nights (still waiting for one tonight but I still got a half hour) and during that time, my back and low belly ache like things are starting but I go to bed and wake up to nothing-no cramps, no discharge, no spotting, no nothing scary until the evening of the next day. And since I announced this pg was over and had that panic attack, my symptoms are about double strength. Nausea, tingly/sore boobs, fatigue, super smell. It sucks because I have no clue if I should be hoping or not at this point and I'm so mad at my dr for refusing my scan last week because these clots are making me nervous.

 

[SweetV]

Tasha -Congrats on 24 weeks! I've never had a 4D scan before. I think if I make it to second tri this time I may book a 3D one.

Hope - I wish I could take it easy at work. I also want to fast forward to Thursday!

Dairy - I'm so sorry that your results aren't in and that your dr. isn't cooperating. This must be so frustrating not knowing. I hope Thursday comes quickly for you and you get some reassurance.

afm - I was worried all day as my symptoms were completely gone yesterday and today. I should be thankful that I have never had morning sickness and that pregnancy is not difficult for me however I need something to reassure me that everything is progressing as it should. I often wonder if it is easy as it is doomed.

 

[Hope39]

Sweet - I work for myself from home

 

[DSemcho]

Dairy - I hope everything is still going better today. It's natural to panic, I've a quite a few scares with this morning and been convinced it's over 3/4 times, it's only now the bleeding has settled. PARL is very scary. Take care and put your feet up at the moment

D - I nearly fell off my sofa! Can you have a proper chat with him about it?

LOLS. At least I hid it and even said it was extreme TMI lol. I want to, but when I do it makes him very uncomfortable so he gets defensive.

Dairy, I hope everything is okay.

How's everyone else?

I'm 24 weeks today x

Congrats on 24 weeks!! I hit 20 weeks myself this past Saturday!

Hope I totally know what you mean. I wish I could just sleep the next few days away and Thursday would be here in a flash.

Tasha-happy 24 weeks! Seems like just yesterday you were giving that cautious bfp announcement and here you are.

AFM- Still waiting. At this point, I'd settle for a m/c starting just so this infernal waiting would be OVER. My bloods still aren't in yet (usually it's 24 hours after the draw and I can access the results but despite them being drawn on Friday at 11am, the results aren't there. Argh.) and I'm still firmly on the fence. I've passed a dime sized clot every night between 7-8pm for the last 4 nights (still waiting for one tonight but I still got a half hour) and during that time, my back and low belly ache like things are starting but I go to bed and wake up to nothing-no cramps, no discharge, no spotting, no nothing scary until the evening of the next day. And since I announced this pg was over and had that panic attack, my symptoms are about double strength. Nausea, tingly/sore boobs, fatigue, super smell. It sucks because I have no clue if I should be hoping or not at this point and I'm so mad at my dr for refusing my scan last week because these clots are making me nervous.

I hope you get some answers soon! I know when my HCG was done at 5+3 my levels were 6,489 and I only had a yolk sac and a gestational sac - no fetal pole and I had been spotting/cramping that day too. 10 days later I went back for another scan and saw a little kidney bean and a hb.

Tasha -Congrats on 24 weeks! I've never had a 4D scan before. I think if I make it to second tri this time I may book a 3D one.

Hope - I wish I could take it easy at work. I also want to fast forward to Thursday!

Dairy - I'm so sorry that your results aren't in and that your dr. isn't cooperating. This must be so frustrating not knowing. I hope Thursday comes quickly for you and you get some reassurance.

afm - I was worried all day as my symptoms were completely gone yesterday and today. I should be thankful that I have never had morning sickness and that pregnancy is not difficult for me however I need something to reassure me that everything is progressing as it should. I often wonder if it is easy as it is doomed.

I know that I had various times my symptoms disappeared. Like now at 20 weeks for the most part I feel completely normal and un-pregnant. except for the occasional bout of nausea (rare) and the occasional fire breathing (damn heart burn).


AFM - Official 20 week scan today at 20+2 (20+1 according to the doctors office), however last time I saw him at 16+6 I was measuring 17+2 so maybe I'll still be ahead a lot. Hoping everything is fine, I know one of the girls in my other group just had a 20 week scan last week and they found the baby does not have a right eye! I'm hoping my little nugget will be perfect - because DH cannot go to the ultrasound due to him having to drop the car off at the port to ship it back to the states. I don't know if I could get bad news by myself. 40 more minutes until I see my Semcho McNugget!

Also got the crib bedding and mobile on Friday from my co-workers - soo sweet!! And DH's mom said she is going to be sending us his baby blanket once we get back to the states.

 

[dairymomma]

Dsemcho-good luck on your scan. Most of the time, 20 week scans aren't that bad. Just lots of measurements taken is all so it's long. But it's not the norm to find things aren't so good. However, being PARL, it's second nature for us to worry about what can go wrong too. So FX you see bubs bouncing around and having a grand old time avoiding the u/s wand and there's nothing worrisome to be seen.

AFM-No clots last night and had just two blobs of pink cm in the early evening. Usual light tan so far today. And my results finally came in. hCG was up to 13338 and progesterone popped up to 22.5 so there was a small rise in progesterone and a 62 hour doubling time over the last week. So very normal at this point. In fact, stupendously good for me at this point... I'm still feeling pg (nauseated terribly today), my hormones seem to indicate I'm still pregnant, but I'm not fully convinced I'm still pg. I don't think I will be unless I see baby on a scan. I'm determined to just keep going about my daily business until Thursday's u/s and pretty much forget about what's going on inside my uterus (aside from remembering to take my meds) as best I can until the scan confirms one way or another. And I refuse to change my signature back until the scan. I think it would hurt too much to put my ticker back now only to find out it's a mmc or something.

 

[blueblue]

Tasha - happy 24 weeks!

Sweet - that's a lot of hours to work, is there anyway you could reduce them? I know you don't want to tell work so it's difficult. Make sure you look after yourself.

Dairy - hope everything is ok, it's great that the numbers are good . Good luck with your scan on Thursday

D - hope the scan goes well today.

I'm very tired at the moment, food aversions etc so really hopefully everything is still ok. My symptoms weren't like this at 10 weeks last pregnancy - I had a mmc at 8w1d and didn't know until a scan at about 10 1/2 weeks - that time they disappeared. Trying to stay calm until 12 week scan.