PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[SweetV]

I was on antibiotics for months. I do eat a lot of probiotic yoghurt to somewhat counteract but have had no real issue with them.
My DH and I were NTNP for years. He took zero interest in my last pregnancy as he said he couldn't face the disappointment again after stillbirth. This time around he has been a little more involved.

 

[nessaw]

Hi guys. Bad news at 11 week scan today. Babies only 8+3 no heartbeats or blood flow. No septum so would've been extremely high risk. Going in for medical management on Friday.x

 

[Squig34]

So very sorry to hear this, nessaw

 

[Tui]

So sorry my love

 

[dairymomma]

So sorry, nessaw. Thinking of you and sending lots and lots of

 

[SweetV]

neesaw I'm so sorry

 

[ReadynWaiting]

So sorry to hear this!

 

[ttc126]

Can I tiptoe back in? Cautiously hopeful after an early bfp yesterday. My fiat beta was 12.9 so that's low I know. Praying lots.

 

[dairymomma]

ttc-welcome and just remember, that number has to start somewhere, right? How many dpo are you?

 

[ttc126]

Thanks Dairy! I was 10dpo for that beta yesterday. I'll get a repeat on Monday! Here's a progression.... what do you think?

 

[ttc126]

Should've said left was yesterday right was today.

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Progression looks great! Congrats ttc

 

[dairymomma]

If you were only 10dpo then 12 is perfect. I had a blood test done at 14 or 15dpo with my current pg and it was 56 or something like that. With LO, my hCG at 13dpo was 36 and my dr was predicting I'd lose the pg because it was 'too low'. That 'too low' hCG ended up being my 3rd rainbow.

Edit-progression looks good too. I NEVER get lines like that on those walmart cheapies that early. I'm one who doesn't get a bfp until 12dpo minimum (11 dpo may have shadowy, evapy looking lines but nothing that says BFP!!!) so you are ahead of me already.

 

[ttc126]

Thank you guys so much!!!! I feel more peaceful about this pregnancy than the last several so I'm hoping the positive feeling lasts ❤
Dairy thank you! That's so encouraging to hear it's a good line! I couldn't resist taking another this afternoon...

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Wow! Amazing progression. With my dd at 15dpo hcg was 57 and my first +hpt was 11dpo so I figured hcg was somewhere around 10-14. I had only 2 hcg draws because I didn't want to stress about it. I have a good feeling for you ttc!!

 

[ReadynWaiting]

I'm a little nervous as I had my 1st post loss af (I think it was anyways-it lasted 9 days with weird spotting) starting feb. 14. Dh and I dtd this weekend and if my body is back to working order I should ov either tomorrow or Tuesday. We haven't dtd since Zander died as it was just too much for me. Now I'm scared (but somewhat hopeful) that a bfp may be coming my way and I don't know how I will feel about it. I'm still a mess but also really want to have another baby. I don't want to replace him and fear I will have horrible guilt if I get pg.
Anyone go through this after their loss? It just feels so different than my earlier losses. I still feel so robbed and wish he was still with me but I know I can't change that.

 

[ttc126]

Ready first thank you for your kind words. Second, I'm so sorry. I think it took me every bit of the last 6 months to feel ready to be pregnant again. But my loss was still first tri so I can't imagine the anxiety you must feel. I think there are no easy answers for ttc or pregnancy after loss. I wish there was a way to help you. I'm so sorry.

 

[dairymomma]

Ready-you've been over on my pregnancy journal so you know what's been going through my mind and the emotional roller coaster I've been on in the last few weeks. Feeling as you do is totally normal for a PARL woman and it's totally understandable. You've just experienced not only recurrent miscarriage but the early birth of your son and all of that isn't something you can just shove off like a bit of dust on your collar.

I guess what I am trying to say is it's totally okay to feel conflicted like that and to be unsure of how you are coping. Just take it one day at a time and do things as you feel comfortable.

As for handling the next bfp, well you'll know when you get it. I didn't react at all how I thought I would with this bfp. I thought I'd be shaking and scared and in a full blown panic attack but I wasn't. I was stunned but slightly happy and even a bit hopeful. Of course that all faded fast once the spotting started but it's slowly coming back now that I'm past my scariest m/c window.

AFM-it's been awhile since I posted about myself. I'll be 10 weeks tomorrow and so far, no spotting in about a week. I see the dr for my first official OB visit in about 2 weeks and I'll see bubs then. I haven't seen baby since 7 weeks but my symptoms are stronger than I've ever had at this stage so I'm feeling pretty good considering and I'm past all but one of my m/c milestones now so FX this is my rainbow.

 

[blueblue]

Nessaw - I'm so sorry x

ttc - the progression looks great x

Dairy - congratulations on 10 weeks, I'm glad everything is going well x

Ready - I can't imagine how hard it must have been to lose your little boy at 17 weeks, you have been through a lot x

 

[Squig34]

Congratulations ttc, progression is looking good!

Ready, as Dairy said, you won't know how you feel until it happens. When I lost my son, I was DESPERATE to get pregnant again. Not to replace him, which is impossible, but to have a baby to hold. I can't completely remember how I felt when I got my BFP with my daughter; I had a treatment protocol to follow at last (I know you said elsewhere you lost Zander in a freak accident) so I think I was very muted in my feelings but you have to start with a BFP & I was cautiously optimistic - not excited, but not hugely anxious either. Anyway, good luck.