PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[daviess3]

9babies u will b fine Hun with ur fab numbers!! I no it doesn't Matter what I say coz u will still b nervous but I was as nervous as hell an my scan was perfect! I'm so happy! Xx

 

[9babiesgone]

Thanks Davies. I really hope I have good news too.

 

[daviess3]

U will hun I no it xx

 

[heart tree]

Ok, have a little time to properly catch up.

Tracie, are you popping? Not pooping this time, but popping?

Titi, do you have a scan on Thursday and Saturday? Let me know so I can update the front page. And gorgeous scan pic by the way!

Fili, those are gorgeous lines! I’m going to go look at mine at 15dpo to compare. Hubby is in the shower right now and I keep my stash in the bathroom. Don’t want him catching me looking at my tests. I can’t bear to throw them out yet!

Round, when will your doppler arrive? I know it has brought many women peace of mind. If I make it to that stage, I’m going to buy one and use it every day I think. I’ll put your NT scan on the front page.

Hopeful, how are you feeling? How are the beans? Oh and Happy 7 weeks! I couldn’t log on much yesterday, but am thrilled you made it to 7 weeks. Only 33 weeks left to go!

Justwaiting, welcome and glad you found us. You and I are both 6+5 today. So great you saw a hb! I’ll put your next scan date on the front page.

Mon, so glad to hear how well you are doing. It gives me hope!

Lou, you too! If I ever get to your stage of pregnancy, I know I’ll find something else to obsess over. That’s PAL normal1

Davies!!! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! So happy for you honey bun! Now post that scan piccy!!!

Fili, I’ve had some mild cramps. They are uncomfortable, but not painful. I kind of feel discomfort in my uterus all over. Nothing sharp or stabbing though. How are you feeling?

Croy, also so pleased for you. When is your next scan scheduled?

Does anyone else have upcoming scans that I should add? 9, I’ll add yours too.

AFM, had a tiny bit of nausea last night. Boobs definitely hurt last night and this morning. Had that dull cramping last night too. Stomach feels a little off today, but I can’t tell if it will turn into nausea or not. I’m terrified for my scan tomorrow, but like Croydongirl, I just want to know one way or the other. If it isn’t viable, I just want to end it. If it is, well then, that will be a miracle in my mind.

Girls, I just want to address the idea of not wanting to bring bad news to the thread. Sadly, I think that’s part of PAL. None of us want to get bad news. But it is possible that it could happen to any of us. I pray that we all have good news every time though. I think we’ve all been the victim of bringing bad news to a thread. I know I have. It feels horrible. I also want people to fell ok expressing all of their fears here. There is no such thing as bringing the mood down in here. We are naturally more cautious and scared than anyone else on this site. We’ve endured more loss than others. So let this be a place for us to be fully honest about how we are feeling, even if it isn’t positive. We are all here to lift each other up.

 

[Embo78]

Heart I'm so glad you addressed this. With each ladies good news scans I have this horrible thought. That's another good one. I'm going to be the one! What if I'm the one to bring down the mood of this wonderful thread.
My initial feeling is relief and happiness for my PAL friend but the second is the above. I hate myself for even thinking like that. But I have to be honest or I'm screwed!!!

I have my scan tomorrow. I feel anxious, scared, emotional. I keep thinking back to those god awful words. "oh Emily. I'm so sorry". Then I give myself a metaphorical slap and tell myself. Stop it. That was before. Stop reliving it. Reliving it affects me so badly. It's like I'm actually there on the bed, feeling all those feelings. God help me! I need to be carted off in a straight jacket!!!

 

[hopeful23456]

totally agree heart! glad your sore boobs came back sounds like your tummy feels like mine...

I am icky feeling today. my boobs weren't as sore this morning. last night, I felt crampy so was really scared but it was my icky intestines, nothing else. no diarrhea, just ickyness like i had eaten spicy food but I haven't.

so i drove to work this morning, got my laptop, brought it home and am working from home. i am a little dizzy, tired, not too starving! had 6 slices of bread, 3 with just cheese on them and that made me feel better. usually I can wolf down food, today not so much.

boobs are sore now come and go right? I think it's because when they are cinched up in a bra, it just makes them sore. but I hate the icky insides feeling, freaks me out. i don't feel like i will actually puke though as i'm way to scared to puke and move things around in there violently like that.

davies - i'm soooooo happy for your scan. i knew it would be fine. there's something going on with all of us that's unexplainable and amazing right now. it's what miracles are made of.

9b- good luck w/your scan!

 

[hopeful23456]

embo - good luck with your scan too!!!! it will go great!

 

[Embo78]

Thank you hopeful

 

[heart tree]

Embo, thanks for your honesty and can I just say that I can relate. Sometimes telling so many people about a scan and then knowing that people are waiting for the results feels like a lot of pressure. Especially if you come back with bad news. I almost feel like I've let people down. And even worse, I start thinking, "why does it have to be me? why can't it be someone else?" I felt that a lot on the March Mummies thread you and I were on last year. I knew statistically that not everyone on that thread was going to have a baby, but I just kept hoping that it wouldn't be me coming back with the bad news. Not that I wanted any of them to have bad news, but very few of them had ever even had one loss. I felt like it was my turn to have a baby. But, it wasn't meant to be. I feel very differently on this thread, which is why I started it. I know that if I come back with bad news, you will all be able to give me strength to pick myself up again and push towards moving forward and getting pregnant again. I truly hope you and I can both come back with amazing scans tomorrow. I hope everyone does until their babies are born in 2012.

Also, I was talking to my therapist about my past memories of the horrible place I have to go for my scan tomorrow. I relive it too. I really think it is post traumatic stress syndrome that we all have. My therapist suggested trying to focus on the present rather than reminding myself about the past. It's hard, but necessary. So I'm just trying to enjoy today. I'm working from home. It's sunny outside. The air is crisp. I'm not bleeding. Lots of good things to focus on in the present moment.

Hopeful, sounds like you have all the right symptoms. It's good that you can work from home. I'm working from home today too, though have to go out later to meet a client. Funny that you should mention not wanting to puke due to the violent action of it. Sometimes I'm afraid to have a bowel movement because I don't want to push the bean out! Same with blowing my nose or sneezing! Crazy girl I am!

 

[Embo78]

Thank you heart. I really appreciate your honesty. It's great being PAL normal

It's great advice to live in the present. A very close family member of mine is in Aa. She lives by the phrase 'one day at a time' Its so apt for us PAL ladies don't you think?

 

[hopeful23456]

Good point heart- to live in the present. I need to remember that. I just sneezed hard laying in bed and it hurt! I usually try not to sneeze but that one just came out.

 

[Round2]

Hearty, I think you addressed the bad news situation beautifully. The last time I joined a PAL thread I was the first to have a MC and I felt terrible breaking everyone's confidence. But this thread is different, we've all been through so much, that unfortunately none of us are shocked by bad news.

9Babies, good luck. Your HCG is awesome, there's got to be something good growing in there.

Embo, I know that feeling. I still have the words... "I'm sorry, your baby has no hearbeat" ringing through my head. Both of my MMC's, the technicians said EXACTLY the same thing.

Oh and about the boobs....my boobs were crazy sore up until 6 weeks. Then they slowly got less sore and full. Then about a week ago they started filling up and getting sore again. Today, it feels like someone is pinching my left nipple.

 

[daviess3]

https://i1082.photobucket.com/albums/j377/daviess3/86e44a25.jpghttps://https://i1082.photobucket.com/albums/j377/daviess3/86e44a25.jpg

 

[Embo78]

Oh Davies. That's amazing

 

[Round2]

Wow, those are great pictures Davies....very clear!

 

[Embo78]

Thanks round2. I had the same words said with my second and third missed miscarriage. The first one I honestly can't remember. I was just so traumatised

 

[heart tree]

Thanks for the boob advice Round. Mine were killing me up until a few days ago. Now they hurt, but not as much. Looking forward to them hurting again!

Davies, amazing pics! Look at your little bean!

 

[heart tree]

I just POAS for reassurance. Oh, the crazy train never stops!

 

[filipenko32]

Thanks for the message about bad news heart, everything you said is so true. This thread is for support and that means good and bad sadly but so long as we support each other then all is good! It's wonderful that there's lots of good news at the moment, it gives us all hope too! Davies as they say in Essex I am well jel of your scan, look at your beautiful little bean!!! I'm so happy for you, this is it for you now I just know it x x x
Oh heart do you think if I posted my pic of 16 dpo you could let me know if it's dark enough compared to yours? You know what an addict I am! I would be over the moon if it was as I've never had hcg like yours this time.

 

[heart tree]

Fili, post your pic and I'm going to post mine.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours