PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[Starry Night]

You're not being a debbie-downer. Spotting and cramping is always worrisome even when we know the outcome can be OK. I'm sorry your DH isn't being the support you need. Maybe it's his way of dealing with his own anxieties.

Crossing my fingers for you!

petipas - congratulations! I'm glad you're all home now.

 

[Ummi2boyz]

Petitpas: congratulations!!! I'm so happy for you!

Dairy: here is the place to let it out. I'm really hoping you'll be ok. xx

 

[Mrs Reineke]

Thank you ladies for sharing your experience with having a mmc. I'm feeling more postive.

dairymomma, you can talk to us about anything on here. We will not judge you and we're hear to support eachother. Yes, I hope you can get an answer one way or the other tomorrow for sure. Keep your head up.

petitpas, congrats on your beautiful baby girl!!!! So glad all went well and you and baby are doing good.

 

[Miracle1902]

Dairy: I think the whole point of the forums are to get give support when needed so don't feel like you are a downer. I know how you feel. I didn't elaborate much on my most recent post bc I too didn't want to be a downer. The reality is I've been suffering from hyperemesis for the last two months. I haven't been able to eat much or at times even drunk water without vomiting. On top of that , I have severe migraines n insomnia. I haven't had more than three hours of sleep the past four weeks. I feel more like an terminally Ill patient than a pregnant woman. Quite honestly I feel so miserable some days I wish to not wake up n endure another day. Now that's been very difficult for me to say out loud bc I fear others will judge n assume I am ungrateful for this miracle of life. But I must say unless you've experience hyperemesis it is hard to understand.

I too feel DH is fed up with my "whining" but pregnancy could be very tough for a lot of women. I can't just easily walk away n say I don't want this anymore. No matter what happens you have to suck it up n people who are not in your shoes will not comprehend.
I've been so sick that I started having major depression. I can't remember the last time I laughed or smiled n I'm sure DH is tired of coming home to an unhappy sick wife even though he tries his best to put up a front.

The emotional impact of a possible miscarriage is heartbreaking so you have the right to be sad n anxious. Complications due to pregnancy could be a very lonely experience.

Please feel free to say whatever you feel on here.

 

[wookie130]

Petitpas- Huge congratulations! What a journey you've had, and now, you have two beautiful rainbows!

Dairy- Oh, quit that Debbie-downer talk. That is what this thread is for! We've all been in your shoes, or at least somewhere near it, and that's the beauty of the PARL group of ladies. Those anxieties are real, and are worth acknowledging. You're not nervous for no reason! Good luck tomorrow...I'm praying for the best outcome for you.

Hope!!!! Congratulations! I will be following your pregnancy closely. I'm sure it's joyful and terrifying all at once...you're absolutely right, neonatal loss is a different beast than even rmc. I am sorry anyone would have to suffer the way you have, among others on here who have lost little ones to stillbirth, etc. During later pregnancy, it was always my worst nightmare, truly. to you, and know that we're here for you.

 

[DSemcho]

Thanks ladies,

DSemcho, how exciting it is you found the HB, even if it was only for a sec!!

Radiance, I can't even imagine going through even part of what you have had to go through. Makes me sad.

Starry Night, I gave in and bought a doppler online today. I'm 8 weeks as of today and I think it will help ease my mind inbetween appointments until I can feel the baby move.

Tasha, I'm so glad everything looks great so far and they're keeping good tabs on everything that is going on.

I found it for longer this morning

Hello Hope
I'm so pleased to see you in here as I cannot imagine a better place to support you

Dairy, how scary! I hope that all will be well at your appointment!

AFM, our little girl arrived last Tuesday by planned section. All went well although a day after the birth someone pointed out that the sighing/singing noises our daughter was making were actually efforts to breathe. They took a chest xray and inserted a cannula into her hand for IV antibiotics. They also ran some blood tests. Otherwise, our little girl was doing well, feeding, pooing, peeing, alert, no temperature, good heart rate. So they decided it was probably all benign and we were finally allowed home. It is so incredible to have two children now! So much hard work and emotion went into this and it feels like the start of a new era. Thank you so much to everyone for your support!

Congratulations on your little girl!!

radiance-Don't know if said congrats before so Congrats (again if I already said it. Pg mom brain...)

Sorry if I'm being such a debby downer on the thread right now. It's just this is my way of getting it all out with ladies who understand the fears I'm dealing with. DH is sick of hearing it and I haven't told any other friends or family yet because I want to see what the scan says first. I had more pink this afternoon and I'm cramping again too. If the can't get me in for an ultrasound tomorrow, I'm making an appt. Maybe he can see baby on the abdominal u/s in-office after all. Either way, I'm getting an answer as to whether or not this pregnancy is viable tomorrow. I'm not waiting any longer.

You're not being a downer, it is a very scary thing!!

I too feel DH is fed up with my "whining" but pregnancy could be very tough for a lot of women. I can't just easily walk away n say I don't want this anymore. No matter what happens you have to suck it up n people who are not in your shoes will not comprehend.
I've been so sick that I started having major depression. I can't remember the last time I laughed or smiled n I'm sure DH is tired of coming home to an unhappy sick wife even though he tries his best to put up a front.

The emotional impact of a possible miscarriage is heartbreaking so you have the right to be sad n anxious. Complications due to pregnancy could be a very lonely experience.

Please feel free to say whatever you feel on here.

My Dh is tired of me talking about the pregnancy too. =/ Makes me want to punch him in the face.... Eh.



AFM - This AM I decided to try the doppler again and I found baby! I even recorded it, which I can upload when I get home from work if I can fix my iPad.

 

[Squig34]

Petitpas, congratulations! What have you called your little girl?

Dairy - you're not being a downer

Miracle- so sorry to hear you are suffering so badly. That sounds really hard. Big

D- exciting that you found the hb!

 

[newlywedtzh]

Dairy: I think the whole point of the forums are to get give support when needed so don't feel like you are a downer. I know how you feel. I didn't elaborate much on my most recent post bc I too didn't want to be a downer. The reality is I've been suffering from hyperemesis for the last two months. I haven't been able to eat much or at times even drunk water without vomiting. On top of that , I have severe migraines n insomnia. I haven't had more than three hours of sleep the past four weeks. I feel more like an terminally Ill patient than a pregnant woman. Quite honestly I feel so miserable some days I wish to not wake up n endure another day. Now that's been very difficult for me to say out loud bc I fear others will judge n assume I am ungrateful for this miracle of life. But I must say unless you've experience

Miracle- No matter how much we want that rainbow baby- Pregnancy is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting for some of us. I too had a physically demanding pregnancy - a healthy pregnancy- but it was hard on my body. We just have to remember that it is worth it and not forever. A means to a very beautiful end!But- If you are that ill and starting to feel like you are sinking into depression, I think you should talk to your doctor. I'm sure you already have- but there may be something they can do? Your health matters too.

 

[floridamomma]

Miracle I hope that the pregnancy gets easier for you hon. Don't feel bad for feeling that way anything that puts our body through that much physical demand will make you feel that way. I'm a nurse and I deal with people who have debilitating illnesses and they often time feel like not feeling anything is better than what they go through daily, but at the end of this you will get a beautiful rainbow and for that I'm very glad for you. Vent away hon!
Dairy you are never being a Debbie downer we are all here for you. You're such a strong woman but even the strongest of us need to each other and on here we are all sisters in the fight and we're here for you anytime. If you need me feel free to message I'll always be here you're such a strong lady and your here for everybody else let us be here for you.

 

[hopeful23456]

dairy - I hope everything is ok and you are not a Debbie downer at all. If hearttree was on here she'd say the same thing. This forum was created so we had a place to talk about everything, good or bad.

miracle - a couple others girls awhile back had hyperemesis too and it sounds awful. It sucks that a "normal" preg woman would never worry about sounding ungrateful but we feel that way sometimes. Don't let RPL take that away, if you are feeling awful vent away like any normal pregnant woman does. Nobody here would ever judge

petipas - congrats again, so happy for you and your family

dsemcho - glad you found the heartbeat!

mrsr - glad things are going well!

hope - stalking you so happy

hi to everyone, I'm an old timer I guess but still love to stalk this thread. I miss it, I miss being pregs and excited and scared about stuff. In the end it eventually all works out.

 

[Ummi2boyz]

Dairy: I think the whole point of the forums are to get give support when needed so don't feel like you are a downer. I know how you feel. I didn't elaborate much on my most recent post bc I too didn't want to be a downer. The reality is I've been suffering from hyperemesis for the last two months. I haven't been able to eat much or at times even drunk water without vomiting. On top of that , I have severe migraines n insomnia. I haven't had more than three hours of sleep the past four weeks. I feel more like an terminally Ill patient than a pregnant woman. Quite honestly I feel so miserable some days I wish to not wake up n endure another day. Now that's been very difficult for me to say out loud bc I fear others will judge n assume I am ungrateful for this miracle of life. But I must say unless you've experience

Miracle- No matter how much we want that rainbow baby- Pregnancy is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting for some of us. I too had a physically demanding pregnancy - a healthy pregnancy- but it was hard on my body. We just have to remember that it is worth it and not forever. A means to a very beautiful end!But- If you are that ill and starting to feel like you are sinking into depression, I think you should talk to your doctor. I'm sure you already have- but there may be something they can do? Your health matters too.

I can only second what newly just said. I have been so sick this pregnancy, even worse than my second (full term) one. First tri I was literally vomiting sick at least 2-3 times a day, sometimes more. Even now at 28 weeks I'm often sick, it's slightly better than first tri, in the sense that I can still eat after having been sick, whereas I couldn't before. I was so fed up of being miserable. One I just cried at dinner time. Dh was like "what's going on??"
I homeschool my children, and at that time we didn't any formal work for more than 2 months (realised that when I came back to the uk and saw the date of our last work!!). Now we're just trying to make up for it, not easy. It's not only the sickness, it's all the other pains and aches (I have spd, and like everyone waking up a thousands of times to go to the loo, reflux day and night and insomnia too). So yeah, I'm far less worried about the pains of labour than what I experience during pregnancy. I can't wait to be in 3 months time!
It doesn't mean we are not grateful for that little baby growing. It's just tough. Lots of your way.

 

[Mrs Reineke]

Miracle, I'm so sorry you are so sick. I haven't been feeling great, but nothing close to what you are dealing with and even I have been sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. It makes me feel guilty to say that too because I'm so completely thankful for the blessing of being pregnant. But it is really hard at times. Especially when you're not feeling good. I hope and pray things will get better for you. Just focus on resting and taking care of yourself. That's what's most important right now.

DSemcho, I'm so excited to get my doppler!! I can't wait to be able to hear my baby's HB!! I think it will help me to relax in between doctor's appointments.

hopeful, so nice to hear from you!! How are you doing?

 

[petitpas]

Debbie downer You do realise this is the PARL thread!?
I'm keeping everything crossed for you and hoping you can get a scan very soon.

Miracle. I didn't have HG but I wasn't very well at all for the first five months of pregnancy. Then I got a hernia and after that varicose veins in my lady bits. I can tell you something, everyone keeps looking at me with sorrow and asking about my c-section recovery but all I keep thinking is how wonderful I feel. I can drink flat water without it making me want to feel sick! Eat pork without it getting stuck in my throat! Drink juice without causing heartburn! Stand and walk without feeling intense pressure below. I can pee large quantities! I can sleep.. It is bliss and what was before definitely was worth complaining about. You go and let it all out, my dear

 

[dairymomma]

Awww, ladies, you have me in tears over here. I think it's more I hate that I'm posting scary news when I'd rather be hosting the biggest Congratulations party in the world for ladies like Hope and Tasha. And yes, you are right. It is scary. Especially when you don't know what's going on and the red and cramping are pretty much constant (though the red streaks are still just when I wipe. Nothing is really making it to a pad or in the toilet...yet...). Still waiting on the dr to call. Grr...20 more minutes then I call him... I told DH last night that how do you be hopeful when everything inside of you is screaming to accept the inevitable? It's like I'm afraid to hope there's a baby in there because if I find out there isn't, that hope bubble will hurt all the more when it bursts. And what hurts the most is I can physically feel how much I'm internalizing my fear and anxiety right now. I need to let it out but my biggest release is exercise and that's a big NO-NO atm. Bummer. I told DH I'm calling my therapist after I find out what's going on because I'll need a hand to hold either way.

And sorry if this is tmi, but I have a theory that at least some of the red streaking is from my cervix being irritated. The thing is nothing (except my finger twice to check cervical position) has gone up there in almost a week! I feel like my cervix was rubbed with a Brillo pad or something...I've never had this before with the oral progesterone but I'm wondering if I actually NEED it this time as I'm not suffering the side effects I have in the past so maybe it's irritating things down below? Oooo, I wish that darn doctor would call...

 

[dairymomma]

Cross posted with you Petit. But you are right. This is the PARL thread... I just hate posting scary news. Nobody does I think and I guess I'm brave for doing it?

Miracle-I've had loads of issues with my pregnancies. The only one (out of 12 thus far) that I HAVEN'T had bleeding in was DS and that was 5 years (many pgs) ago. And when I threaten to miscarry, I threaten to miscarry-cramps, clots, bleeding/spotting, I run the gamut of symptoms. Toss in nerves, panic attacks, almost crippling anxiety, PPD, and pelvic girdle pain so bad I was stuck in bed or in a chair for 3 straight weeks before my chiropractor could work out enough knots in my back and that was my pregnancy with LO. But it was all worth it when she was put in my arms. My wriggling, big blue eyed baby girl.

 

[Tasha]

dairy, please don't worry about posting scary news, we've all been there at some point and we get how bloody terrifying it is. We want to be there for you through the scary times, the ups, the downs and most of all we want to be there for every milestone and then when you bring your baby home!!

 

[dairymomma]

Thanks Tasha. I needed that.

And another update. After waiting 2 l-o-n-g hours without a call from the dr, I called him and it went to voicemail. Thankfully, he called me back 15 minutes later and after a brief discussion we decided an ultrasound is the best way to go. (He initially brought up doing betas again. Oh heck no, I'm not waiting that long...) So now I'm not waiting on the dr anymore but I'm still waiting...For radiology to call to schedule the dad-dratted-dad-blasted u/s appt. And since it's already 1pm here and they haven't called yet, it's looking like my scan is tomorrow at the earliest. I wish they had 24-hour walk-in ultrasound clinics all over the world so you could just walk in and voila, ultrasound! They've got 24 hour shopping centers, grocery stores, restaurants, etc. Why not a 24 hour ultrasound clinic?

 

[floridamomma]

I'm glad he's getting you a scan dairy. Keep us updated. If anyone has done iui I have a question. I had my scan today to check for follicles and I had a 14mm on the left ovary and multiple 12mm on the right. I trigger tomorrow night and iui is Friday at 10:30. Are those good follicle sizes?

 

[hopeful23456]

here's what mine were CD14, triggered CD15 and I had IUI on CD17. I was on injectibles. So I think yours are a good size!!

lf: 10, 10, 14
rt: 13.6, 10, 12, 15.6, 11.5, 15.3, 13.4

 

[Ummi2boyz]

Dairy: any news on your scan time? Hope it's sooner rather than later.
24h U/S Clinics sounds good to me!

FloridaM: never had iui, but got monitored and triggered. They want anything above 10 mm I believe. Those numbers looks good to me.