Participation Awards

[Tiff]

Saw this on FB:

NFL player James Harrison decided to return his two kids' participation trophies they received from school.



It's a long post, but, this is what he said on Instagram: "I came home to find out that my boys received two trophies for nothing, participation trophies! While I am very proud of my boys for everything they do and will encourage them till the day I die, these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy. I'm sorry I'm not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned and I'm not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best...cause sometimes your best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better...not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut u up and keep you happy. ‪#‎harrisonfamilyvalues‬"

I'm kinda torn as I do agree that things should be earned, not given. But then I kinda feel bad for the kids, seems like it'd be pretty embarrassing to have your trophies returned, then posted about on social media.

 

[Eve]

My son Jacob has Aspergers, ODD, OCD, ADD and a mood disorder. His behaviors aren't always acceptable and sometimes it's hard to even keep him in school. Many of his behaviors are beyond his control and sadly all through his years at Summerhill Elementary School I didn't even know they gave out awards to kids each month from each class until one of the last months he was there. It broke my heart because each child had to attend and for like 2 full years he sat there monthly and got nothing because he wasn't always quiet, or sat still, or was even allowed out at recess. I think showing some positive wouldn't have hurt anything and giving him an award for trying his best wouldn't have been a bad idea. Instead he was made feel like crap because he was one of the only ones who NEVER got anything in his class

 

[Tiff]

I totally get that, Claire's in the same boat. Were those like the Integrity/Empathy/Courage/Leadership awards? For those I do think the teacher should make an effort to make sure a child gets at least ONE of those. Positive reinforcement for positive qualities right?

In this case though, it was for sports. The more that I think about it, I don't think Claire deserves a trophy for just being on a sports team. If her team places somewhere that's great. She did soccer and her team placed 3rd overall and she got a medal for it.

If her team had placed lower should she have gotten a trophy as a "thanks for coming out"? I dunno, I guess on that aspect I think they should be earned. But in the classroom? Everything should be done to encourage the kiddos.

I'm not exactly sure why I separate classroom and sporting activities.

 

[Eve]

With sports, I like the idea of getting a medal or something at the end of the season, as a keepsake for playing but that's where I would draw the line. I surely wouldn't make my child return something though...

 

[staralfur]

My friend commented on this and said the participation ribbons always felt like wearing a Scarlet Letter, and I totally agree! I hadn't thought about it until then, but I do remember ripping the ribbon off as soon as I could because I felt like it was just drawing more attention to the fact that I didn't actually win anything. I'm naturally very competitive though so getting a consolation prize just sort of felt like a slap in the face.

I think it's fine to have medals that notate the year and league you played a sport as kind of a keepsake (I have a ton from growing up playing soccer), but if it's literally just a ribbon or trophy that says "participant" then I don't see the need at all.

I remember we used to have fun little categories in soccer for girls who didn't win MVP or "real" awards that still highlighted something they brought to the team. Heart awards, sportsmanship awards, etc. I think that's a nice idea to help everyone feel included/important and it actually requires some thought instead of just smacking a ribbon on someone's chest saying "yep, you were here, nice try."

 

[catty]

as a child who was terrible at every sport it would have been nice to get a medal at the end of the sports year but certainly not every game or anything like that. I yhink you will still be trying as who wants the tiny medal when they can have the big trophy.
iv heard in some sports they no longer keep count of goals etc as its about the taking part. I absolutely hate the idea of that!

 

[Eve]

Participation awards for every game is silly but at the end of a sport program I think it's fine. When we did track and field in elementary school we would get 1st, 2nd and 3rd place ribbons and the rest got something for trying our best. We knew it wasn't 1, 2, or 3 but we were happy.

 

[Tasha]

I don't think it's his to give them back tbh. And he's putting a whole heap of pressure on them. Some people are distinctly average at everything (I was and am) and it's sad that he doesn't recognise effort as important.

 

[loeylo]

I'm with Tasha on this one. I was always the worst at sports at school, with no chance of winning anything (I won the egg and spoon race when I was five but only coz I went slow and the egg stayed on whereas everyone else ran and lost their eggs!) - what incentive is there for people like me to participate if they never have the chance to get any sort of recognition.

I'm a teacher and instead of focusing on highest achiever, I reward biggest improvement. Far fairer!

 

[Kate&Lucas]

I think it was cruel to give them back and he could've made his point without stealing from his children.
But I don't agree with participation awards. At school I never won sports day, I never expected to and that was just okay with me, I still had fun. I was good at other things. We didn't get participation awards and I think I'd have felt a bit stupid and patronised receiving one.
Lucas did sports day for the first time this year and won a medal - I've never seen him so proud and he wore it constantly for days. All the little ones were so excited and there was a great atmosphere. At the end, everyone got a certificate for taking part.

 

[OmarsMum]

How old are the children?

I'm torn here, my son has a karate tournament on the 20th of next month, he has the choice to participate or not. I feel he's very young. He doesn't take losing easily, this is why I try to avoid any competitive activities as I know how he feels if he loses. When he's older he will be able to control his feelings but expecting him to receive a participating trophy for everything he participates in doesn't sound fair for the winners, but again sports for children is for fun for me.

His school team lost this year, he didn't get a trophy, he cried for not winning, but it was a team thing, I told him that sometimes we lose sometimes we win and sports is for fun.

I know my child can't handle competition at his age, so I avoid individual competitive sports, at school teams he will have to cope with it. I don't agree with participation trophies, a certificate is ok, but not a trophy. I don't want my child to always expect a trophy without earning it by putting an effort and winning.

It doesn't mean I will take a trophy back lol, it's his not mine to decide

 

[OmarsMum]

I totally get that, Claire's in the same boat. Were those like the Integrity/Empathy/Courage/Leadership awards? For those I do think the teacher should make an effort to make sure a child gets at least ONE of those. Positive reinforcement for positive qualities right?

In this case though, it was for sports. The more that I think about it, I don't think Claire deserves a trophy for just being on a sports team. If her team places somewhere that's great. She did soccer and her team placed 3rd overall and she got a medal for it.

If her team had placed lower should she have gotten a trophy as a "thanks for coming out"? I dunno, I guess on that aspect I think they should be earned. But in the classroom? Everything should be done to encourage the kiddos.

I'm not exactly sure why I separate classroom and sporting activities.

I also separate sports from classroom

I think this a totally different issue and in Eve's son situation it is unfair.

At Omar's school they do a profiling thing and they give certificates, as he is shy and doesn't speak up he wasn't included in the profiling he was ignored until I spoke to the head of department. There was a certificate for "knowledgeable" and my boy deserved that certificate.

I agree with you, I think in those situations the teacher should encourage the children to earn those certificates based on their individual circumstances and abilities.

 

[Tasha]

They're six and eight. If I took kaysie's (7) trophy back, she'd be devastated.

 

[bumpy_j]

I think participation awards are completely fine as long as there's some extra recognition/prizing for those who topped the leaderboard. At the end of the day, winning these things are often more complex than simply who puts in the most effort; some kids simply aren't built to be as fast or as strong as others, let alone learning disorders that can affect severely co-ordination and concentration.

Trophies for everyone seem a little excessive (and expensive), but stamps or stickers or little medals seem pretty much the standard to me? They tried, not everybody can win but you can still harvest small rewards for your efforts. And I love the idea of alternative awards like Biggest Improver.

The dad sounds like a douche. Being an NFL star, he clearly is used to winning and is most likely to be naturally very able at sports. Not saying he hasn't worked hard to achieve what he has, but he is coming from a very ableist mindset.

 

[katherinegrey]

I think participation certificates or stickers are a good thing but not trophies or medals.

I think children should look and say 'wow, I want one of those and I'm going to work extra hard to get one!'

Although, I never would have done because I'm very clumsy and therefore rubbish at sports, however, I got plenty of certificates for classroom work and creative writing in primary school so maybe it balances out? Although no one handed me a trophy for writing the best poem or short story!

 

[Tiff]

We used to get ribbons at our Track and Field days at school. The general participation ones were blue, and the ones where people actually placed were red. Tbh, I don't recall any resentment to the people who won vs me who didn't.

 

[.Mrs.B.]

I think he's in the wrong. Winning isn't about the medal it's about the feeling of accomplishment and giving participants medals wont stop people from wanting to win! We never won a medal from playing board games but we all still wanted to win didn't we? Plus these are children and I bet they came home all proud only to have their 'best' put down and discouraged by their mean old dad.
Imagine running 100m in 10 seconds but having it thrown back in your face because Usain Bolt done it in 9. Ugh I feel so sorry for his kids.