Planned Teen Pregnancy?

[rubixcyoob.]

My LO certainly was not planned, but I wouldn't trade him for the world and more and he isn't even born yet. He wasn't planned but definately isn't unwanted.

I don't think that girls age 13/14/15 and even 16 should be planning families IMO. 13 and 14 is still too young. You are just a teenager, hardly through your educational career and have so much to experience at that age.
15 and 16, you may have matured a bit but you still aren't able to finish high school in the UK until you are 16 or nearing your 16th birthday. You don't have a minimum wage requirement and many people at 15 do not get hired due to lack of experience. In society you cannot do much, you cannot sign contracts or get loans. You cannot claim benefits for yourself etc. You aren't in a financially stable situation to plan a family.

I don't think there is an 'age' at which it should be acceptable, like 18+ is acceptable or whatever. I belief if you are in a loving, long term, committed relationship and you have finances available then go ahead. However, at the ages I have said, the chances of being in a relationship that is mature for a long amount of time already seems unlikely, so does financial stability.

Yet saying this, I do not believe age make anyone a 'good' or 'bad' parent.

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

^^ wss

 

[lushious09]

i dont think teens should be trying for a babie... seems alot think its all about having a playful cute thing that will be fun to have around... reality is if your under 18 you aint gonna have much luck getting a job that will pay for the upbringing of a child, your relationship will be under HUGE pressure hense why most men walk... and the novelty will wear off once baby is grown up! its irrasponsable imo... im nearly 22 and this wasnt planned, me and babys dad were together 4 years he had graduated uni and i had a very well paid job and i feel this is far to early even considering that!

 

[WaitingForYou]

Im another who is not for under 18s trying to conceive. I always wanted children since I was little and played with dolls. I knew I would be a young mum. My and Oh had spoke about children but decided to talk again once we were working and in a better position we were 17 at the time. When we were 18 we started having unprotected sex at times of the month when I was niave to think I was safe (silly I know) & using the withdraw method!! I fell pregnant within 2 months. I could never have an abortion so the only decision for me was to keep the baby.

We now have a 17 month old daughter, got our own place when she was 8 months, OH is just starting work. For the duration of my pregnancy and since we have been living on benefits, though my partner had been actively seeking work, nothing ever happened. He ended up training in security and is now fully qualified, the trained skill has put him straight into work.. Finally!! I will start work when my daughter starts nursery/school. We have coped financially, but its been hard. Everything we gets goes straight out again and we get no money for ourselves. I don't mind, I knew this when I decided to have a child, but my partner finds it quite difficult.

I wouldn't change it for the world though, I love being a young mummy!!!

 

[Prinny]

I do't know i don't wanna be on here and sound like a right bitch! lol..but i personally don't agree with "planned teen pregnancies" i mean when people are young they "think" it's all gonna work and assume they will cope in my opinion you can't say you will cope with something you have never been through, i don't think it's fair on the baby, that some teens who do plan their pregnancy don't have anything to offer the baby.....I am pregnant and my baby was NOT at all planned yes um happy now but i wouldn't recomend getting pregnant at 18 like me once again especially if you have nothing to offer the baby..teens straight away think love... Love is not the Only damm thing the baby needs!...i mean everyone has different levels of what is ok and what is not for me if i did plan my baby i would want to be married i would want to have nearly or completed my carrer, been ready to have a kid, and understand what my body is going to go through, i also would want to be able to offer the child life savings something it can grow up with that i provided as a back up just in case it doesn't get the best of grades at school..i would want to offer a head start basically and i don't think Any teen that i have met has offered there child a great head start they offer them good love and guidance but not an actually head start in life, not what you could have offered it if you went through life and got so much more for yourself! and any girl that say's no..then she's lying!

If a girl feels like she is ready to have a baby..i would ask her to ask herslef would she still feel ready for a baby with out her partner being around..and if she says no..then she aint ready because i my eyes whatever age you are you have to always think about what if your OH man or women decides it's too much too quick and they walk away..me and my OH are together but if my OH said he didn't want anything to do with my baby and it was planned i would feel soooo guilty that i planned it and with a shitty dad just because i "felt ready"

and many young boys walk away because they realize once the baby is born it's too hard and they aren't ready..and i kept my baby for the simple fact that without my OH being around i was still willing to take on that responsibility even though my baby wasn't planned i see my OH as an extra I love him very much but with or with out him this is something i would have done, If my protection worked i would defiantly NOT be pregnant now..

I believe some teen mums can be good mums but the fact is they still could have given the baby more then what they have or did, even i wish i had more to offer my baby so now i have to work really hard so i can make that up to my baby and do what i could have done in the first place if i waited..and that's what I'm gonna do

But babies never actually crossed my mind until i feel pregnant

 

[youngmum2b]

My little boy was planned(was still a suprise though lool), me n oh have always had a committed relationship n both knew that no matter what happened we'd always be together in 1 sense or another, as even when we've broken up we cant not talk or meet up n we always end up back together lool. We planned to have a baby back when we were 14-15 n as heartless as it sounds part of me is glad i mc as looking back we wouldn't have been able to cope with everything, so as we both made he decsion we both know the ups n downs of what can n can't happen n looking back if i had the chance to change any of what happened i'd only change the fact that i pushed oh away n for a couple of months we grew apart.

I don't think that young teens who plan a pregnancy are stupid or silly as i knew my reasons for planning mine, i just think that most young teens need to be better educated on what looking after a baby full time intails, even if its just looking after one of them 'life like baby dolls' as for me that made all the difference n i'm glad i learnt from my decsions sooner rather then later.

 

[Prinny]

My little boy was planned(was still a suprise though lool), me n oh have always had a committed relationship n both knew that no matter what happened we'd always be together in 1 sense or another, as even when we've broken up we cant not talk or meet up n we always end up back together lool. We planned to have a baby back when we were 14-15 n as heartless as it sounds part of me is glad i mc as looking back we wouldn't have been able to cope with everything, so as we both made he decsion we both know the ups n downs of what can n can't happen n looking back if i had the chance to change any of what happened i'd only change the fact that i pushed oh away n for a couple of months we grew apart.

I don't think that young teens who plan a pregnancy are stupid or silly as i knew my reasons for planning mine, i just think that most young teens need to be better educated on what looking after a baby full time intails, even if its just looking after one of them 'life like baby dolls' as for me that made all the difference n i'm glad i learnt from my decsions sooner rather then later.

Aaaahh i actually like what you had to say..i think it was true and as you did plan your baby it's good to see that you do see the other side of it which alot of girls don't at first , i don't know why i didn't say something like this lol it makes my answer sound mean lol

 

[supriseBump_x]

But I would not recommend it unless you are over the legal age in your area, living on your own, and married. Otherwise things go horribly wrong.

Things do not go horribly wrong! So many of the girls on here including me are not married and still live with their parents and we do a wonderful job!!

& i think that if your in a stable long-term reletionship and are financially stable then why not Age doesn't define what kinda mummy your gonna be xx

 

[youngmum2b]

My little boy was planned(was still a suprise though lool), me n oh have always had a committed relationship n both knew that no matter what happened we'd always be together in 1 sense or another, as even when we've broken up we cant not talk or meet up n we always end up back together lool. We planned to have a baby back when we were 14-15 n as heartless as it sounds part of me is glad i mc as looking back we wouldn't have been able to cope with everything, so as we both made he decsion we both know the ups n downs of what can n can't happen n looking back if i had the chance to change any of what happened i'd only change the fact that i pushed oh away n for a couple of months we grew apart.

I don't think that young teens who plan a pregnancy are stupid or silly as i knew my reasons for planning mine, i just think that most young teens need to be better educated on what looking after a baby full time intails, even if its just looking after one of them 'life like baby dolls' as for me that made all the difference n i'm glad i learnt from my decsions sooner rather then later.

Aaaahh i actually like what you had to say..i think it was true and as you did plan your baby it's good to see that you do see the other side of it which alot of girls don't at first , i don't know why i didn't say something like this lol it makes my answer sound mean lol

No it don't.
The topic was what we all thought of planned teen pregnancies at a young age, me n oh planned a baby at a young age n we both agree that although it didnt seem it at the time what happened was for the best, yes we were both able to support a baby as we were both working aswell as finishing school but theres no knowing where life will take u n with everything hat happened in the years that followed neither of us would have coped with a baby 'intow', i have nothing against those who do plan their babies at a young age as i know 2 teenagers 14 n 15 who are happily married n have a baby on the way, they have there whole lifes planned out but even they admit at times they wished they'd waitted aswell, both their marriages where planned n arranged from birth so imo that also had a BIG impact on how their lifes turned out.

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

For my daughter we were NTNP, we had spoken about having a child and we had been living together for a little while, both out of school and both of us worked. My pregnancy this time around was most definately planned. We had always talked about having a sibling for my daughter and we knew we wanted an age gap of about 1 1/2 -2 years. She doesn't have any cousins of similar age either and is unlikely to, so we're thrilled we are going to be able to give her a brother or sister.

I definately believe that if you decide to plan for a child you have to make sure that you are in a stable relationship, that you are able to provide for the child, and have a secure place to live. It's a big strain on relationships, financially and emotionally.

xoxox

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Aidan wasn't planned. When I found out I was all set to go to equestrian college.

I think anyone planning a child under 18 are very silly. At that age it can be difficult. They should finish their education so when a baby does come they can support them selves. Beung a young mum and a student is difficult and I woudl NEVER asvise under 18s to plan a child
xx

 

[abstersmum]

i planned my first i was 18 when i got pregnant and 19 when lo arrived we decided to have a gap and 9 years later we are expecting a second i loved being a young mum but we had our own house and stable jobs

 

[Bride2Be]

Wow I got so many wonderful answers! Thank you everybody!

I am a young teen (14 but I'll be 15 when I have the baby) and my baby was 101% planned. I have wanted a baby since I was very young and it has been my goal to be a good mother. I received the information this year that I have PCOS and it may take years for me to have a baby. I have also been in an amazing relaionship for almost 1 1/2 years.

Looking back, it wasn't a very good idea. I am and was 100% ready to be a mother but this baby deserves more than I can give him/her. I don't regret the baby at ALL though!

 

[aob1013]

Just curious, how are you supporting him/her? x

 

[Bride2Be]

Just curious, how are you supporting him/her? x

My fiance is quite older than me and can get 40 hour per week jobs. He was 3am-3pm operating machinery until they laid off their night shift He is now going to work at Kramer's (I think that's the spelling) and he will be delivering furniture with his brother.

I do odd jobs and I babysit like all heck. I make a bit by babysitting so that helps. Besides that I am applying to a grocery store called Publix soon and if I'm hired I will work bagging groceries and stocking items. Also, I'm applying to a place called Sonic's as well because we know a girl who works there who may help to get me on

Btw neither of us are on any sort of government support except me because of my parent's income. I'm on free lunch.

 

[aob1013]

Just curious, how are you supporting him/her? x

My fiance is quite older than me and can get 40 hour per week jobs. He was 3am-3pm operating machinery until they laid off their night shift He is now going to work at Kramer's (I think that's the spelling) and he will be delivering furniture with his brother.

I do odd jobs and I babysit like all heck. I make a bit by babysitting so that helps. Besides that I am applying to a grocery store called Publix soon and if I'm hired I will work bagging groceries and stocking items. Also, I'm applying to a place called Sonic's as well because we know a girl who works there who may help to get me on

Btw neither of us are on any sort of government support except me because of my parent's income. I'm on free lunch.

Thanks for replying hun

I don't want to sound like i am challenging you, so please don't take offence. I am just genuinely curious.

So if you don't get the jobs you have applied for, what will do you? Do you guys have your own place? x

 

[Bride2Be]

Just curious, how are you supporting him/her? x

My fiance is quite older than me and can get 40 hour per week jobs. He was 3am-3pm operating machinery until they laid off their night shift He is now going to work at Kramer's (I think that's the spelling) and he will be delivering furniture with his brother.

I do odd jobs and I babysit like all heck. I make a bit by babysitting so that helps. Besides that I am applying to a grocery store called Publix soon and if I'm hired I will work bagging groceries and stocking items. Also, I'm applying to a place called Sonic's as well because we know a girl who works there who may help to get me on

Btw neither of us are on any sort of government support except me because of my parent's income. I'm on free lunch.

Thanks for replying hun

I don't want to sound like i am challenging you, so please don't take offence. I am just genuinely curious.

So if you don't get the jobs you have applied for, what will do you? Do you guys have your own place? x

Oh it's no problem! If we don't get the jobs we apply to then he'll apply for more and I will too. I know some places down here hire under the table so I'll go with that if I must I know Friendly's is hiring and so is Taco Bell and I can most likely get a job in a book store as well.

We don't have our own place yet (part of the reason why we can't give baby everything ) but we are hoping to get one. We know of a place where we can rent a 2 bed room 1 bathroom apartment for $600/month or get a smaller place for about $300/month.

If my OH fixes up 2 trailers and 1 house than a man will let us live in our pick of the 3 for about $450. But that is a total last resort. All of those places need A/C, a new roof, a new floor, new windows, new doors, and the grass is 14inches long and he wants OH to do ALL of that and mow the grass with a pushmower!! He's got a lot of nerve asking him to do all that for free. The entire yard is an acre but the three living spaces are packed in so close it's ridiculous! Okay rant over

His dad, his grandma, and my dad have offered to let us live with them but we're sort of counting on getting our own place for the baby's sake.

 

[aob1013]

Just curious, how are you supporting him/her? x

My fiance is quite older than me and can get 40 hour per week jobs. He was 3am-3pm operating machinery until they laid off their night shift He is now going to work at Kramer's (I think that's the spelling) and he will be delivering furniture with his brother.

I do odd jobs and I babysit like all heck. I make a bit by babysitting so that helps. Besides that I am applying to a grocery store called Publix soon and if I'm hired I will work bagging groceries and stocking items. Also, I'm applying to a place called Sonic's as well because we know a girl who works there who may help to get me on

Btw neither of us are on any sort of government support except me because of my parent's income. I'm on free lunch.

Thanks for replying hun

I don't want to sound like i am challenging you, so please don't take offence. I am just genuinely curious.

So if you don't get the jobs you have applied for, what will do you? Do you guys have your own place? x

Oh it's no problem! If we don't get the jobs we apply to then he'll apply for more and I will too. I know some places down here hire under the table so I'll go with that if I must I know Friendly's is hiring and so is Taco Bell and I can most likely get a job in a book store as well.

We don't have our own place yet (part of the reason why we can't give baby everything ) but we are hoping to get one. We know of a place where we can rent a 2 bed room 1 bathroom apartment for $600/month or get a smaller place for about $300/month.

If my OH fixes up 2 trailers and 1 house than a man will let us live in our pick of the 3 for about $450. But that is a total last resort. All of those places need A/C, a new roof, a new floor, new windows, new doors, and the grass is 14inches long and he wants OH to do ALL of that and mow the grass with a pushmower!! He's got a lot of nerve asking him to do all that for free. The entire yard is an acre but the three living spaces are packed in so close it's ridiculous! Okay rant over

His dad, his grandma, and my dad have offered to let us live with them but we're sort of counting on getting our own place for the baby's sake.

Thanks hun

One last question, did you guys not think about this before TTC? Did anyone else know you were TTC?

xx

 

[Bride2Be]

We thought about it for sure, but we live in two different states so we figured that he would get a place and I'd move up but he got laid off. We were way too irresponsible about that part so I'll say it before you do

I told my friend that we were TTC and she thought it was a bad idea but I never took her opinion to heart because she is a bit hypocritical. Her parents are both doctors and she thinks that money will buy her way out of anything. She's been pregnant twice and she admits that if she hadn't've miscarried both times she would've aborted. So she didn't really think it was bad for me that I was TTC, she thinks it's bad for anyone to TTC basically. She just doesn't see who would want to.

 

[Tanara]

I have mixed feelings on this topic for many reasons.

I was 15/16 when i had Taye, i didnt plan to have him but i was in a stable home with the father, he made good money and i had somewhat of an income. I left him for personal reasons but if i wouldnt have left i garintee we would still be together, as i know he never stopped caring for me. I made choices that lead to my situation and they could have been avoided.

My second was NTNP, With my OH, and i know that we will be together for a long time, as we have a great relationship even threw all the hard stuff we have delt with, And we genuinly love eachother, not to mention he is a great parent to my son and a great boyfriend. But i think people really need to understand that nothing is forever. And people change along with feelings.

My opinion is, noone should TTC unless you as the mother can provide a home yourself, and provide everything a child needs on your own without your OH or FOB, This is my opinion since most relationships dont work out and even if you think your in love and going to spend the rest of your life with someone doesnt always mean thats going to happen.

So thats my opinion, which in most cases mothers cant provide everything.

I have options to take if something ever was to happen between me and OH, and i know what i would do, and i could do it on my own with both my children.

Young teens dont understand what they are getting themselfs into when the plan a child, sorry but when your 14/15 you dont have the means to pay for a child, i was 15 when i concived Taye so i know for me i didnt. By the time I left his father, with the help of my parents (other than rent/bills) i paid for everything and got on track. Teens need to think about their choices very carefully when it comes to children.