Please offer your advice?!?

[iwanababybump]

Ladies nearly 2 weeks ago an old friend who had twin boys 4 weeks after I had Jamie sadly lost one of her little boys they are still unsure y! They think it's been put down to cot death

Any way for a week of really struggled to come to terms with this news more for selfish reasons if I'm honest the what ifs? Kept running through my head, my advice is needed as the funereal is on Monday and as much as I want to show my respect and say goodbye to this sweet little angel I don't know whether the stress of attending the funereal is going to be any good for me or my unborn son (I'll be 39+2 weeks)

Please help me!!

 

[Mrs Bee]

It depends on how close u guys are... I know if it were a close friend of mine I'd go despite feeling stressed about it, but if were only an aquaintence then I'd not go...

So sorry to hear of this, losing a child would be awful

 

[helensamantha]

Oh Hun that's awful. I'm really sorry for you and your friend. Considering you are so heavily pregnant, I really think your friend would understand if you explained to her that you just can't make the funeral. You can still send flowers/donations etc. as hard as it is, I personally wouldn't go. Stress can put you into labour xx

 

[Bun87]

So sorry to hear this - I would probably go to show my respect. Try not to worry too much, We Can't live always thinking what If... And your Baby needs you to be strong right now Before he/she arrives xx

 

[iwantabub]

i would personally go...

i know the stress thing isnt good but this is a one time event and if shes a good friend i think it would be important for her to be surrounded by people that care about her....

sorry to hear

 

[Bethi22]

I think you really need to go. You're not going to get another chance to be there for your friend in this situation.

 

[_Lexi_]

Have you checked that she definitely wants you there? When I lost my son, I refused to have any pregnant women at the funeral as it was to hard to see. If she does want you there, I think you need to go. Whatever pain you're feeling, is nothing compared to what she is going through. When you lose a child you really find out who your friends are, and by refusing to go, she may see that as you're not being there for her. Funerals are emotional and upsetting, but one day of stress isn't going to effect your unborn child. There is no safe point in raising children, from conception, through to old age, anything can happen at any point. Babyloss isn't contagious. Just by attending the funeral of a child, doesn't mean you'll lose yours. The worst thing for me after losing Joshua was people avoiding me, it's not a disease and this poor woman needs as much support as she can get. As a friend, I think it's up to you to put your worries aside and focus on her and helping her through her grief.

 

[Annie77]

I think you should put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself - would you be offended if a friend didn't attend your child's funeral due to their pregnancy? In all honesty I would go to offer my condolences and support your friend. It is true that stress can bring on labour but 1 - you are full term so may go at any time 2 - labour inducing stress tends to be extreme ie if it was somebody very close such as a partner or child.

Two of my friends lost their parents during late pregnancy, one very suddenly and violently & she didn't go into labour until past her due date.

 

[iwanababybump]

Thank you all for your advice I think I already knew I was going to attend but needed some reassurance