Please Pray

[Wobbles]

Its still such a toughy for you all

Both Charlotte & Angel are strong little fighters & 2 very gorgeous special girls. I hope you guys get to hold your baby soon shes getting the best possible care and the best possible support (supporting aids?) to help her fight this more & more as each day passes.

Lots of thoughts with you guys still x

 

[ALI]

Surgery scheduled for 9am tomorrow morn
Even though you Ali,.. you say it'll be ok,.. and I know it will,.. I can't help these helpless emotions.

Hi Jay/Steph,

It is a real rollercoaster of emotions you cannot control, and I think myself and Samantha experienced every one of them under the sun. Amongst many, She felt it was all her fault that she did not go to full term and I felt scared and utterly useless/helpless in not being able to do anything other than watch events unfold.

It is also both mentally and physically exhausting and at times you feel very alone but remember that you are not alone, that she is in very good hands and that they must perform a multitude of these operations every year, so however difficult always try and remain positive.

You will have good days and bad days and at times it will be incredibly hard but there is a light at the end of what must seem, at the moment, to be a very long tunnel. We just concentrated on one day at a time, every day that passed was one day closer to Charlotte coming home.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you all for a successful operation.

Alasdair, Samantha and wee Charlotte

 

[Linzi]

Again, Ill be thinking of the tree of you and I sincerely hope the surgery goes ok, although Im sure it will but I can completely understand why you are so worried about it, I think anybody in your situation would be exactly the same. You two are coping so well, and its such an inspiration!

xxx

 

[turbo_mom]

Thank you so much ALI for your encouragement. It is really helpful to know that you guys went through exactly what we are feeling and that everything now for the most part is ok.
I myself keep feeling like everything is my fault. I feel like its my fault for her being in surgery right now I know she would be just fine if she was still inside of me...
She had a rough night last night. They had to put her back on the other ventilator but it caused her blood pressure to drop dramatically and they had to hand breath her with a bag. They did that a couple times... She also got another transfusion last night.
We sat in the room while they prepped her and must admit it was so hard to see her so lifeless with the exception of her chest moving. Then when they brought in the tray of surgical tools it really hit me hard and I was choking back a flood of tears. They let us get close to her and tell her we love her before we left the room. That was sooo tough. Now Jay and I are just sitting here waiting for them to come get us. Both of our eyes red and puffy..
The doctor said that this procedure was absolutely necessary.. If they had left it any longer she would just keep going downhill until the unthinkable. So this surgery is basically saving my precious little angels life. So I am relieved it's being done right away. But it's still hard knowing they are cutting her open at only 26+6 weeks. I keep thinking "if only she was still in my womb". I wonder what I did to let bacteria get inside of me... but I know only one day at a time... Anyways I will go watch TV until they come. It should be very soon I just want to see my girl and make sure shes OK...

 

[Jenny]

Its not your fault Steph, you had no idea that this would happen. Please don't beat yourself over it. All that matters is that Angels is with both you and Jay and that eventually your little girl will be with you always.
I'm sure she'll do just fine hon. She's such a little fighter already. Good luck with the operation. Hang in there Steph, things will be ok

 

[Iwantone!!!]

not ur fault babe if u did not go the hostipal she would not be her keep ur chin up

 

[Angel]

Don't blame yourself steph,she is a strong little girl and I am sure she will get through this with flying colours.Wishing all of you all the best.

 

[turbo_mom]

Ok so it's been a bit of a long day. Angel had her surgery and that went very well. But theres still a few issues. When they deflated the lung some air got around it. So they are going to first try and use a tiny needle and suck the air out. If that doesn't resolve it they will need to put a tube in her chest to keep the air out. Also her blood pressure is not stableizing so they have to keep her on meds to keep it at around 30. Also her oxygen level is at 100%. Shes completely sedated and will be for a few days as they have to keep everything stable and it's just up and down right now. So it will be a long tough week for her. Also they have a line in her belly button where they draw all her blood from but it might be blocking the blood flow to her left foot (it keeps going purple) so they might have to take that one out and put one in her foot she has a needle in every limb now. So many needles and probes. Her poor skin is puffy around her face and head so it doesn't look very good right now. But I know after a few days it will hopefully go back to normal.
So there's alot going on right now. Alot to take in and to remember. It was a pretty tough day. But hopefully after the next few days after everything settles down she can only go up from here. I just hope that everything does stableize soon I hate seeing my baby girl this way I just want to scoop her up and make it all better.

Anyways just wanted to let u all know that the surgery was a success and the clamps are in the right position. Now we just sit and wait and pray. I will be calling later to see how the air around her lung is and if she's getting a tube.
*sigh*

 

[Vickie]

I just read this thread. So sorry to hear about the surgery your daughter had to go through but glad she came through it well. I'll be keeping her in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Simon'sMum]

I'm thinking about you, your love and your sweet little one. So many of us are and we're all sending good your way...

 

[Suz]

Im glad the surgery went well. I will keep you all in my thoughts.

 

[Samantha]

Dear Steph,
This is Sam, Charlottes mom. I have read your latest posts and I just wish I could be there and talk to you face to face. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I know what it is like to feel so guilty that you feel sick and that it is all your fault. After Charlotte was born I was desperate to feel her back in my belly, to feel her little moves. I couldnt accept what had happened. It took me weeks to come to terms with what had happened. It is not your fault, infact, remember you saved her life. If your body hadn't started to realise that you had an infection and started your labour then your little angel may not have survived at all. YOU SAVED HER LIFE! Please remember that.

Just give it some time. Be there for your little daughter and go with your feelings. Its amazing what can be done now for these little babies.

I send you a big HUG and wish I could be there in person to give it.


Lots of love
Sam
xx

 

[PitBullMommy]

I'm so glad Angel's surgery went well. I hope she recovers more quickly now and is able to go home soon. Keep up your strength and faith, we're all behind you, praying for all of you!

 

[Jenny]

So glad that the surgery went well. I hope she gets better and that you'll be able to hold her soon.

 

[Iwantone!!!]

like everyone has already glad it wel thinking of u all xxxx

 

[turbo_mom]

Well just a little update
THings are looking fairly good right now. Angels oxygen level is down to 30-40% and they are slowly going down on all her medication.
Her blood pressure meds have been dropped and her paralysing meds have been dropped. So they are slowly going to wean her off of all this stuff.
If her oxygen levels stay under 50% percent then they will switch her back to the other ventilator!!! But that's dependant on her co2 levels as well which look pretty good.
So today has been a good day for little Angel which makes me feel so relieved!!! That surgery helped her so much. She was really starting to get rough because of that open valve but now she's starting to improve and slowly stableize.
I had a feeling though that she would get better soon she's just such a trooper. And I make sure to go see her every day. I HAVE to see her I can't stay away I miss her too much. When I can start driving i'll be at that hospital at least a few hours a day.
I can see it already when she comes home. Im going to have severe seperation anxiety LOL she'll be in my arms 24/7
There's this really neat bear that I want to buy for her too I think I will get it next week. It's a little brown bear thats sooo soft and it has a heartbeat. You turn a switch and it has a human heartbeat sound. I think that will really help her! She's still supposed to be in the womb so maybe this little bear can help her and make her feel even more like she's in the womb.

Anyways thats all for now. I'll be back later

 

[mickey]

all the best for both of u

 

[lady3]

I bet that bear will be very comforting for her. What a great idea.

 

[Iwantone!!!]

that bear is a great idea glad shes doing well how u doing steph x

 

[Tilly]

Is it this bear? https://www.babykitdirect.co.uk/gfx/media/home/shop/princelionheart/slumberbear.jpg
If it is, Bethanie has it and when she was newborn she loved it!!

By the way, I don't want to act as if I know what you're going through! but Bethanie was in special care for a week and I was an emotional wreck so I can't imagine how you're feeling. One day I walked in and she had a tube in her nose and I started to cry, it's so horrible to see your baby like that and in the incubator when you just want to cuddle them and make everything alright.

Im glad her surgery went well and hopefully she will recover quickly from it!!