Post-Natal Embarassing Stories

[staceyg]

omg im nearly in tears from laughing! my embarrasing thing was for weeks after giving birth i was just so windy and my muscles hurt too much to hold it in so i ended up farting nearly everytime i moved!
oh also i fed my lo then drove to the petrol station whilst paying the man looked at me funny it wasnt untill i was back in my car and driving that i realised my boob was pretty much hanging out! i now check my boobs are in place before leaving the house lol

 

[PeaceLoveBaby]

Oh I've got a terrible one. I managed a fairly dignified labour with no poo issues. Happy days, right? Wrong! I got a poo stuck for a few days and I just could not find the strength to push it out. It was agony so I literally pulled the damn thing out myself bit by bit. A few hours later my husband goes to the toilet and comes out saying he thinks there's poo on the wall. There was. The shame!! I couldn't bring myself to explain how it got there.

I had to do this while I was pregnant..the MAJOR constipation I experienced in 2nd tri was ......scarring.

I feel your pain lol...tho I never got it on the wall!

 

[Katt]

I need to stop reading this! My pelvic floors are not going to hold up with all this laughing!

Pacing back and forth with lo for the umpteenth hour, my trousers wriggled their way off my hips and to the floor. I didn't have any hands to pick them up!

The worst thing is this happened LOADS and in front of pretty much anyone who visited...MIL, FIL, next door neighbour.. and of course I was wearing my BEST underwear!

 

[emmalouise09]

when i was laid on my hospital bed the mw came round to do the bum parting check on me and perched on the bed next to me.

due to the painkiller they put up my bum (nice) my ass was basically numb. i couldnt seem to stop the farts coming out and knew i was "fart vunerable" whilst laid down. i went to sit up (to block the farts) and she insisted i stayed layed down.

... she was very discreet and didnt even flinch when one just ripped right out!

the shame.

This one actually made me LOL

 

[emmalouise09]

This thread is hilarious- am having to try really hard not to laugh cos lo is fast asleep on me and the shaking keeps nearly waking him up!

I had a c-section and was left a bit gassy. Two days after having Ryan I stood up and did a really loud and long fanny fart My other half started laughing hysterically which set me off but trying not to laugh cos it hurts and with a full bladder can only end one way- very badly!! I wet myself but not just a little bit, oh no, it was like a tsunami Was all over my pj's and my compression stockings. I was mortified as I had to ring the call bell and tell the midwifebut was even more mortified when they sent the cleaners in- was on a 4 bed ward which was full

i really couldnt carry on reading after the fanny fart part of ur post cuz i'd be howling (i dont mean to be offensive)
My cousin had something similar after she had her first i remember laughing at her and saying did u just fart and she had to explain it wasnt a bum fart it was a foofoo fart. i was bout 10 at the time aha

 

[Kalah]

I naively thought I could get away with not wearing breast pads a couple weeks after having LO, about 10 minutes of being out and my OH pointed out I had two big wet circles on my shirt! I just kept my arms crossed until we got home!

The other day we left the house to go for a walk and a few minutes into it OH burst out laughing and told me my skirt was tucked up into my tights! Great look..

 

[SKATERBUN]

involuntary bottom parps must be the pelvic floor muscles and all that jazz

 

[emmalouise09]

I only have one and that was with DS he was a few days old and had worn washable breast pads and i had leaked thru them and OHs dad pointed it out and said why are you wet its gone all down ur sides as well i cringed and walked away and said it must be where Jay had spat the water out i had given him

 

[celestek89]

Ok so i guess i was REALLY lucky compared to some of these stories haha I didnt have any pelvic floor problems, i didnt really even have any poo problems, except the fisrt one i done after having LO which meant i pretty much had my head and hands on the floor while my bum was on the toilet haha

The one moment i do remember however, was a few days after we'd come out of hospital and decided to do some shopping. LO was fast asleep but i could 'feel' that she's wake up soon for a feed...I then looked down to see milk SQUIRTING through my top...not just a little leak...this was getting distance!! I was also talking to a shop assistant at the time!

 

[GypsyDancer]

oh im always weeing now when OH makes me laugh to much! he thinks its disgusting lol i cant help it!

I went to asda once with my mum..went to get out and realised my boobs had leaked round patches through my top..i was mortified..had to wear a scarf covering my boobs round the shop..

another time my sister came up to visit..i fed zach upstairs and then brought him down..carried on talking to my sister looked down and realised i hadnt pulled my top back up..just sat there with my bra out..

 

[GypsyDancer]

I feel even worse now! Everyone is so embarrassed about accidentally going out with milk stained tops on, is it bad that I do this knowingly and dont care??!! Or maybe it's because so few tops fit me!

i go out with stained tops too sometimes..just cant be bothered to change and no doubt as soon as i feed him again i'll end up with stains again x

 

[GypsyDancer]

i have a rather embaressing gruesome one..
not something i normally talk about but a few days after i had zach..i still hadnt had a "number 2" i was still in hospital but was starting to kinda need to go..so off i went to the toilets very nervous..it really was fine not half as bad as i expected..i was relieved and glad, went to flush the toilet..the damn toilet wouldnt flush properly i kept trying but it just WOULD NOT FLUSH and there was another lady waiting outside..i flushed as much as i could then just threw aload of tissue in..i was so embaressed but what could i do?!

i did consider going to tell a midwife on the ward but the shame got the better of me

 

[Zedfaca]

Oh I've got a terrible one. I managed a fairly dignified labour with no poo issues. Happy days, right? Wrong! I got a poo stuck for a few days and I just could not find the strength to push it out. It was agony so I literally pulled the damn thing out myself bit by bit. A few hours later my husband goes to the toilet and comes out saying he thinks there's poo on the wall. There was. The shame!! I couldn't bring myself to explain how it got there.

I had to do this while I was pregnant..the MAJOR constipation I experienced in 2nd tri was ......scarring.

I feel your pain lol...tho I never got it on the wall!

Thank god I'm not the only one. Desperate times call for desperate measures! But yeah... The wall? What can I say, it's not something I've had a lot of practice at!

 

[bathbabe]

Oh ladies you do all cheer me up! Im crying with laughter! I keep waking OH up - he isnt impressed! X


(I also think this would make a great book!)

 

[DreaminOfBaby]

Aww man I just realized I got to the end of the thread lol I was enjoying reading all the stories, they're hilarious!

The one for me that I'll never forget was when I walked with Lo and my friend to this free breakfast thing, went to the restroom to change Lo, washed my hands didn't notice anything. Went in the dinning room to sit down, put my coat on the back of the chair, sat down and was talking to my friend when I looked down for some reason and noticed a HUGE wet spot on the left side of my shirt, and not just up by my boob but all the way down!

I'm sure I have more but can't remember now. That one really stands out, I was so embarrassed, put my coat back on trying not to drawl attention lol

I had a c-section so I had to have a catheter, HATED IT. The nurse took it out not long after I got back to my room after having Lo. It hurt coming out but I was happy to have it gone. Was so uncomfortable and kept getting caught and pulling. Luckily for me I didn't have any bladder issues!

I had BAD constipation the day before Lo was born, I swear I was in the bathroom for over an hour! I don't remember how long it was before I had my first poo after I had Lo but it took a while, wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be!

Oh, I remembered another one. Was sitting on my hospital bed changing Lo and she decided to pee and she peed through her clothes, through my blanket, sheet, bed pad and bottom sheet! What was embarrassing was I felt like the nurse thought I was blaming Lo for me wetting the bed!

 

[Natsku]

Brilliant thread!

I guess I was lucky, don't really have any embarrassing stories, the worse thing was about 2 weeks after birth I was having incredible pain in my belly and thought my uterus infection had returned, went to the doctor who sent me straight to the hospital, waited literally all day in the emergency room (well not actually the emergency room, they let me stay in an exam room cos I have baby with me and didn't want to breastfeed in the waiting room) only to find out after all the checks and x-rays and whatnot that I was just constipated! And I had to have an enema and then ran to the toilet carrying a book cos I knew I'd be there a long time!

 

[112110]

I finally got LO to sleep then read this thread, I no longer have a sleeping baby.

 

[wishuwerehere]

I remember I gave Issy a feed, then we went to the shops. I kept getting really funny looks, all the way round the shop, bank, post office etc.
I got home before I realised my boob in it's industrial strength nursing bra glory was hanging out!

 

[MissDee-89]

I remember I gave Issy a feed, then we went to the shops. I kept getting really funny looks, all the way round the shop, bank, post office etc.
I got home before I realised my boob in it's industrial strength nursing bra glory was hanging out!

I always fear this will happen to me, it happens around the house quite alot, sometimes nearly happens when i answer the door, but never out in public lol

 

[Lellow]

I remember I gave Issy a feed, then we went to the shops. I kept getting really funny looks, all the way round the shop, bank, post office etc.
I got home before I realised my boob in it's industrial strength nursing bra glory was hanging out!