Preschooler Stealing

[SarahBear]

The day after Violet's birthday, she came home from preschool with a My Little Pony toy and a shape sorter with two shapes. We asked her about it and she claimed that another student gave it to her. This was a student who Violet invited to her birthday party, but did not show up to the party. This is also a student who Violet has gone back and forth on claiming to be friends with. We just figured that the kid was trying to be her friend by giving her these items. We didn't hear anything from the school, so we didn't worry about it but encouraged Violet to try to invite the kid over for a play date. Well, today, Violet came home with a wand, money, and stickers. When I started to mention that I'd have to talk to whoever the money came from, she spilled the beans and admitted that all of the items were stolen. In the meantime, she has put stickers on the pony and cut it's hair. We're having her use birthday money to buy a new pony and I also sat down to write apology letters with her. She can't write, but I had her verbalize what she's sorry for as well as how she'd feel if it happened to her. Then I had her do her best attempt at signing the letters. Tomorrow I'm having her take the letters and items back to school.

Has your child stolen items? What's your experience with stealing?

(For context, neither my husband nor I pick up Violet or drop her off at preschool. She carpools with another family. We'll be sending her in with the letters and items and ask the woman who drives her (she's also a teacher at the school) to help her get the things to the right people)

 

[Scout]

Yes. Two days ago, I googled, '3 year old stealing', to see if it was normal or not. We went to Lowes, and in the check out line dd asked me if she could have a candy and I said no. When we got to the car, I noticed she had something in her leggings, and it was that candy!. I took her back in the store and had her apologize to the check out lady and put the candy back.

A week or so ago, I picked her up from preschool and she had a jacket that wasn't hers. I asked her why she had it and she said because she liked it. I told her she couldn't keep it bc it wasn't hers and she started crying saying that she loves it and wants it. It got back to school the next day.

I know she doesn't understand stealing, so I'm using these moments to teach her that we don't take what doesn't belong to us. From what I read, at 3 they still believe that whatever they see is theirs. Oh, and when I had her take the candy back in she started crying. At first, I thought she was crying bc she knew she did something wrong (she does that sometimes), but nope. When we got back out to the car she said, "I'm mad!" I asked why and she told me bc she wanted that candy. I'm sure I'll be going through this again.

 

[LoveCakes]

To be honest forvsomething like this I'd try one of you to get off work and deal with it personally. I'm sure the teacher would do a good job but I'd want to see it through with her.

Or if she was invited to the child's party do you have contact details for the parents to meet up another time? I'd want to make sure they knew what happened in case the other child doesn't tell them.

Making her write the apology and replace the pony was a great idea, hopefully she understands it must be hard for kids to learn what is appropriate and when

 

[SarahBear]

To be honest forvsomething like this I'd try one of you to get off work and deal with it personally. I'm sure the teacher would do a good job but I'd want to see it through with her.

Or if she was invited to the child's party do you have contact details for the parents to meet up another time? I'd want to make sure they knew what happened in case the other child doesn't tell them.

Making her write the apology and replace the pony was a great idea, hopefully she understands it must be hard for kids to learn what is appropriate and when

It was Violet's party that the kid was invited to. The kid didn't go to Violet's party. And I don't have the parent's contact info and I don't know the parent.