Probably miscarrying...

greekgirl

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We found out on Tuesday that we were pregnant, confirmed with a beta test which was at 438 and had another beta test done today and the result was 470. Doctor said to repeat on Monday but it's most likely a miscarriage.
Meanwhile my TSH levels skyrocketed to a 4,08. Maybe it's unrelated.

We are devastated.
First miscarriage.
I know I am only at 5 weeks so I guess I don't really know what it's like to lose a baby, right? It's just that we wanted it so bad and we had already begun planning... I don't know. It's still a loss of a baby to me.

Doctor says that the beta numbers should drop to around 200 something by Monday and that if they have gone up we begin worrying. Otherwise, it'll be a natural miscarriage.
I already have a beautiful toddler but we were hoping for a second.
How long after the miscarriage can you try again?
And what are the odds of this happening again? I am 38 going on. 39 at the end of the year...
 
Greek, I'm so very sorry for your loss. This is such a hard time since your in the midst of it. My ob recommended preventing pregnancy until my next AF. I think it's mostly for dating reasons to prevent ambiguity as to how the next pregnancy is progressing. It's been hard waiting, but I think emotionally we also needed the time. I'm doing better now, but DH (who stayed strong for me) is now letting the sadness hit him.

They say after your first MC, the chances of it happening again are no different than before the mc. They also say that you're more likely to have a healthy pg in the first 6 months after mc. Most MCs are just sad, unfortunate, random chance. That being said, they are devastating losses for us all.

If it helps any, my mother had a mc around 37 or 38, and then went on to have my youngest brother at 39. There is still absolutely hope that you will have another healthy, happy baby. It just won't be this baby, and that is heart breaking.
 
A loss is a loss. That baby was your baby, and it's okay to feel heartbroken. The lady above me couldn't have said it any better.

I hope you can try again soon. People don't realize how common miscarriage is until it happens to them personally. I know I was naive. But there's no reason why you can't have another healthy pregnancy.

Praying for healing for you and yours.
 
I am getting cramps.
Sudden on coming pain.
I wonder if this is the beginning or if this is just... Gas.
:blush:
I have been feeling empty all day.
Trying to distract myself by doing random things outside like cleaning a storage space we have outside near the chicken coop.
It was full of trash, dust, dirt, junk and rusty nails.
I did some house cleaning, hung out the laundry, took a shower and ate junk. LO has been at his grandma's all day.
The internet took up most of my day... Cut some flowers, fed the animals, took out the trash.
With each day passing I think I will get better.
In such a rush to have this end.
 
I can only imagine how hard the waiting must be. We left the ob saying we were going to wait, but then called for the medicine right after. We were going to wait until Sunday, but then decided to just start the process that night. Glad you're keeping busy. I watched a ton of fluffy shows/movies. Hang in there and we're here for you :hugs:
 
Greekgirl I am also in this awful limbo waiting for it to happen. I went for an early scan on Wednesday at 10 weeks and sadly they found a sac measuring 8 weeks but no baby. They wouldn't speculate on what has happened but I feel that things stopped very early on. It seems so cruel that my body just hasn't realised yet. I'll be going for another scan on Thursday - it's just procedure, they have to be 100% sure, although there is no hope whatsoever. No matter how early it happens it is absolutely losing a baby. Someone said to me 'think of it as cells and there was never a baby' but that just isn't the case. For 2 months we were planning for a baby and becoming parents for the first time, so that is complete rubbish. I'm sure they were trying to help. Now, like you I freak at any slight feeling and every time I go the loo, dreading seeing that it's started. I've decided I want a d&c and don't want to go through it naturally. Obviously that is out of my control at the moment.

I've had amazing support from family. In fact I'm blown away by it. But this weekend I too was busying myself cleaning, doing the washing, sorting the garden etc. It was our first wedding anniversary on Sunday so we tried to go and do things. Not quite celebrating but trying to look back on happier times.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and it is a huge loss - dont let anyone tell you different. Let yourself grieve and I hope this phase ends soon for you. I'm hoping that for myself too. Xxx
 
Thank you Mrs. Unicorn.
Sorry for your loss as well.
Just think, we will get through this a little stronger yet cautious and doubtful of the next pregnancy to come.
Because I am sure (almost) that there will be another. A good one. That'll stick. Right?
Oh, I don't know.
What do I know?
I just am trying to be hopeful.
The less I think about it the more it seems to hurt when I do think about it.
I don't know which is worst.
Any minute now I will be getting a call from the lab to tell me my, hopefully, LAST beta test.
I hope the number has gone down so that I don't have to worry about an ectopic or whatever else is not an easy end to this mess.
She said she'd call me being that she had too much work but that was an hour ago. She being the microbiologist who owns the lab I went to.
 
Doctor isn't answering his phone. My beta was at 585! So that is a sure bad sign. It went up just enough to tell me that my body is holding onto this pregnancy and the baby is already gone.
 
Keeping you in my thoughts today greek. I hope that your body just doesn't want to let go. Mine certainly didn't. I never had my hcg tested, but I'm pretty sure the numbers were still high and not dropping considering I still had symptoms. No need to worry about ectopic yet :hugs: at least not until you talk to the doctor.
 
MrsU - What a time to have your first anniversary! DH and I are coming up on our second in April...and I'm sure it will feel bittersweet like so many things do right now. Glad you could remember happier times. I will say going through this DH and I are closer and even more in love than before (if that's possible).
 
LO is watching tv - I turned it on so that I can change his diaper- he is at that phase where everything is a "no!" So changing him means chasing him around the house or having to turn on the tv to distract him. Not even that is working right now.
Anyway, Doctor said he isn't worried about an ectopic and a d&c isn't possible at his point because the baby is so small they wouldn't be able to see it. My beta tests are at a low. If I were past the 2000's we'd be able to see it.
Another beta on Thursday and wait is all I can do.
I saw some brown last night.
I guess its beginnings. My body might finally begin to let go.
 
Heartbreaking - I am so sorry you're having to wait. It must be very difficult for you. I wouldn't wish miscarriage on my worst enemy.
 
How are you doing greekgirl? Have you had any more spotting? I'm also back at the hospital tomorrow for another scan then I guess I have to decide how I want this to end. I want a d&c for sure I just hope I don't have to wait again, really want to draw a line under this now.
 
My iPad is doing strange things.
Thanks for the support mom with babies.
I am better today. Barely any cramping, I had a short gush of blood last night. Very, very short. Nothing today.
Went for a long walk with the little one down by the sea.. It's a beautiful, windy day.

mrs. Unicorn, I hope you get your d&c soon since that is what you want.
I hope this ends for you soon too so we can all move on with our lives.
I hate it when people say stuff like, oh, I had one too, it's not a big deal, it'll be fine. Yes, I know that eventually it will be fine. Maybe sooner than expected. Just give people space to grieve.
I understand it was all said with good intentions but sometimes I think that some people just want to pat themselves on the back for getting through something that they forget they are talking to someone else and not themselves. Sound silly?
I remember my first failed IVF round, my boss who had been through several failed attempts and one or two miscarriages was like, relax, stop crying. It's not a big deal. If we all sat down and cried every time things didn't go our way where do you think my husband and I would be? Life goes on.
That made me so much more upset. Sure, she was right. Sure, maybe she's tough. But everyone deserves some time to grieve.
Anyway. Sorry, for the rant.
 
I'll check in again tomorrow to see how your scan went.
 
Gosh that is so insensitive! Maybe people forget just what it was like. I hope if I ever have to discuss this with someone else going through it that I'll remember how crushing it is. I don't know what goes through some people's minds. Someone said to me do you think because you were worrying that something could be wrong that it caused it! And maybe I should ask a doctor! Well no I do not think that (it clearly happened very early on and I didn't start worrying until 7 weeks) luckily I've managed to ignore these comments but I can't believe someone would actually say that.

We definitely need time to grieve and work through accepting it and all the emotions that come with it. You take all the time you need and allow yourself to feel whatever comes. My mum said this to me when I said I'm not looking forward to the scan just to be told the same horrible thing. And that I would try to feel nothing and see it as a formality. She said I shouldn't try to block anything that I'm feeling and just go with it. I think she's right.

I'll let you know how I get on tomorrow. What's the next stage for you now? Do you have any appointments?
 
Gosh that is so insensitive! Maybe people forget just what it was like. I hope if I ever have to discuss this with someone else going through it that I'll remember how crushing it is. I don't know what goes through some people's minds. Someone said to me do you think because you were worrying that something could be wrong that it caused it! And maybe I should ask a doctor! Well no I do not think that (it clearly happened very early on and I didn't start worrying until 7 weeks) luckily I've managed to ignore these comments but I can't believe someone would actually say that.

We definitely need time to grieve and work through accepting it and all the emotions that come with it. You take all the time you need and allow yourself to feel whatever comes. My mum said this to me when I said I'm not looking forward to the scan just to be told the same horrible thing. And that I would try to feel nothing and see it as a formality. She said I shouldn't try to block anything that I'm feeling and just go with it. I think she's right.

I'll let you know how I get on tomorrow. What's the next stage for you now? Do you have any appointments?

Any news?
I a waiting for my test results. In about 20 minutes.
I hope the numbers have gone down.

I agree with your mom.
Don't deny your natural way of dealing with this. It will only make it easier to take on the next pregnancy bravely, which, based on what I have been reading, will happen and will most likely be a full term healthy pregnancy. That statistically, women who have one miscarriage, if they fall pregnant within six months after miscarriage are most likely to have their healthy babies.
All we have to do from now on is take care of ourselves, maintain healthy lifestyles by eating well and staying away from alcohol, cigarettes and in my case, sugar, and maintain a healthy body weight and keep trying.
Sound like a hell of a lot?
My biggest challenge will be eliminating refined sugars.
No one says I have to, I just have a sweet tooth and during my first pregnancy I had to watch what I ate because lefty was a big baby and docs worried I would develop gestational diabetes.
Gotta run. He woke up.
 
Fx you get the results you want.

I've had my scan, no change, so I'm going for an ERPC tomorrow morning. It's basically the same as a D&C but after a pregnancy they call it an ERPC. I've had some spotting so I was panicking that I would have to go through it naturally. It's stopped now so hopefully I can have the operation tomorrow and finally see an end to all this. We are thinking we'll wait for af to arrive in a few weeks then start TTC again. But we will see how we feel when the time comes. We feel like we have lost a baby that we really wanted and it's going to take time to comes to terms with that. And we will naturally be a bit more anxious next time around.
 
:hugs:
Hang in there...
I didn't know that if you bleed you can't have a d&c.
My results were 482.
That means beta levels went down so wait to go through this naturally.
I don't mind as long as I am not in pain.
I feel a lot better mentally.

Good luck tomorrow morning.
:hugs:
 
May I ask why the doctor said miscarriage? What were your symptoms other than low numbers?
 

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