Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)

[dextersmum]

Aileen Lewis is absolute adorable. Such a cutie

I do have my care plan written in my notes but unfortunately it doesn't mention a 16 week scan but she definitely wrote me a slip for a 16 and 20 week scan followed by consultation so I will keep the consultation and ask for one when I get there if I feel I need one.

 

[sweetbuthyper]

Well i have my 12 week scan and consultant appointment tomorrow morning, i'm terrified i have no clue why, my bump is expanding daily, i'm still throwing up and i had a scan 10 days ago showing bean is fine, so i guess its just nerves.

I am a little worried about the constultant appointment i had been put down as routine and had to ring the hospital and complain to get a consultant appointment, just hoping that she doesn't try to fob me off, scans to check my cervix in my opinion are a must, or i will go nuts at every twinge ( well more nuts that i'm going to be anyway). I also need an anethatist consult so have to get them to arrange that preferably before 28+ weeks when they scheduled it last time as i have a curve in my spine so they need to check it incase i need a spinal.

Hope everyone is well, I'm hoping to try to eat soon but i feel so sick i'm currently avoiding it i don't have the energy to throw up yet today lol.

fx for tomorrow and i will post with pics when i get back, appointment is at 11:10 and consultant doesn't do clinic in the afternoon so hoping they don't have major delays like they normally do, we need to go to town to get Nathaniels grave decorations for friday.

 

[dextersmum]

sweet I understand what you mean about being nervous I am the same just take each day at a time hun. So sorry you are feeling so sick. I am still wretching but not actually affecting my eating and I don't seem to be throwing much up. I was over the kitchen sink this morning dry wretching over the smell of burning toast lol.

Good luck with your scan tomorrow let us know how it goes x

 

[nicola ttc]

Hi ladies :wave:
Sorry i haven't been on here much, busy busy time of year!!
Aileen, Lewis is adorable. No matter how much you love him and are happy to have your rainbow baby it is natural that you will still grieve for Eoin. I know those first dates are so so difficult to get through - whether you have other children around you or not. Those feelings of sadness are normal and allowed!! big hugs for the next few days
Lexi i don't know really what to say. It must be so hard knowing the results are 'better' than with Joshua but still feeling so anxious. Its hard to know if the cvs would put your mind at ease any more than it is if they don't know what they are looking for. Are you getting regular scans this pregnancy? Maybe you'll feel you start to bond when you start feeling movements.
Sweetbuthyper i felt exactly the same! I even heard babys hb on my doppler daily and on the morning of scan but was still convinced they'd tell me something was wrong but here i still am and have started feeling baby movements!! I'm looking forward to your update saying all is well with a gorgeous pic of your bubby.
Tracy, i'm well thank you for asking just super busy at the moment with school plays and carol services and shopping and wrapping etc etc!!
I'm sorry you're finding it hard being with your step grandson but should feel proud of yourself for being in that situation and getting through it! A lot of people would not have been strong enough to have cuddles! I'm proud of you and know you'll only get stronger with time
Hope i haven't left anyone or anything out!!

 

[sweetbuthyper]

Well been for my scan all was good although bean was a wiggly monster and waving at the camera, until they asked me to pee to try to get him/her to move then bean just showed its ass and refused to budge, managed to get a picture tho

saw the consultants under study person who didn't have a clue and hadn't ready my notes, however good news is i'm getting fortunightly scans on my cervix ( however starting at 16 weeks instead of 14 as 14 falls on new years day and the following week is fully booked, not impressed but not alot i can do apparently my consultant only has one clinc a week),

fingers crossed 16 weeks should be early enough to catch anything going wrong i didn't loose nathaniel til 23 weeks so it should be.

Mixed results on bloods i am apparently carrying the thalasemia trait but the hospital isn't concerned i am going to double check if anything needs to be done with my midwife on the 10th when i see her, as my partners grandmother is from malta.

heres a pic of bean:


measuring 12 + 2 but she got more than one date so i'm not changing my ticker

 

[nicola ttc]

so glad the scan went well sweet. xx

 

[dextersmum]

Nicola I bet it is really busy in your house I hope you are not getting too tired with all the things you have on

Sweet that is a great scan photo glad everything went well today. It is frustrating when you don't get to see the main consultant. I have been the same seem 2 understudies but 1 was better than the other although she did tell me not to get stressed because I am pregnant and when asked she promised everything was sorted and would be straight forward with my care plan that she wrote out but every time I have been to the hospital since or something is due on my plan I have had to ask for it and see so many different people that it makes me laugh hearing her in my head saying don't get stressed. If only it was that easy. She told me I could have a 16 wk scan but the scan dept have lost the slip I handed in and because it is not a standard scan and they don't know why she said to have it nobody else can book it for me because there has to be a reason?? so I will keep my consultants apt and if I feel like I need it then I will beg them whilst I am there at my 16 wk apt otherwise I have to wait until 20 wks for next scan which is the end of Jan and seems ages away.

what is the problem with your cervix?

 

[sweetbuthyper]

hi dextersmum, they are querying incompetant cervix, I went in to labour at 23 weeks and no reason was found so it is a possiblity so i was promised fortnightly scans from 14 weeks just to monitor my cervix incase it is incompetant, ( i had to inform the new consultant of this as they hadn't read my notes but they did agree to it without to much fuss) I have spoken to the girls on the IC threat in gestational complications and they have put my mind at ease that 16 weeks should be fine to have the first scan as any changes would usually start after that point as thats when baby starts to get heavy

sorry to hear your consulants aren't much help either at least we know to push for what we need doing.

 

[nicola ttc]

Sweet i had fortnightly cervix scans last time too as my last 3 had been prem (even though i never believed it was because of ic as they were all emcs). My hospitals policy is to scan from 16 weeks as before that any measurements dont mean much as,like you said, it's when babys weight starts to put pressure on the cervix that any changes will be seen so try not to worry too much about missing one at 14 weeks.
Did you go to hospital with contractions with Nathaniel? Sorry for all the questions!

 

[sweetbuthyper]

no problems nicola: i had what i now know were contractions 2 days prior to giving birth to nathaniel but they were irregular and it was suspected that i may just have a water infection/ braxton hicks, woke up on the day of giving birth at 8:30 went to the toilet coughed and had blood everywhere after coughing, rang the hospital as i was bleeding and still cramping irregularly, by the time i got there 30 mins later i was fully dilated membranes bulging, contactions became regular after a few hours and my waters broke about and hour before i gave birth at 8:08 so all in i was in labour for under 12 hours. he was active right up to giving birth but was just too small to survive in the big wide world and was born still.

there unsure as i said of the cause no infection was found, the fact it was so quick suggests that ic is a possiblity.

 

[amjon]

no problems nicola: i had what i now know were contractions 2 days prior to giving birth to nathaniel but they were irregular and it was suspected that i may just have a water infection/ braxton hicks, woke up on the day of giving birth at 8:30 went to the toilet coughed and had blood everywhere after coughing, rang the hospital as i was bleeding and still cramping irregularly, by the time i got there 30 mins later i was fully dilated membranes bulging, contactions became regular after a few hours and my waters broke about and hour before i gave birth at 8:08 so all in i was in labour for under 12 hours. he was active right up to giving birth but was just too small to survive in the big wide world and was born still.

there unsure as i said of the cause no infection was found, the fact it was so quick suggests that ic is a possiblity.

Have they not been measuring it all along? The MFM has measured me at every scan (and will continue to do so until at least 20 weeks). They don't think I'll have an issue (and didn't before with IC), but they want to make sure, especially since there are two babies to hold in.

 

[sweetbuthyper]

nope not been measured at all yet to my knowledge i had to phone the hospital and push to see the consultant today at all they had me down as not seeing them til 20 weeks!
If i hadn't have asked to day they would have just seen me at 20 weeks and not measured before as well, apparently they don't usually monitor until more than one second trimester loss

 

[Springflower]

Knock knock. Mind if I join you all?

Tracy told me about this thread a while ago so have been stalking but not posting. But today I'm having a brave day so am jumping in! The brief version of my history is in my signature. I'm 21weeks expecting another little girl, due the same day as the girls were, 1 May.

This time we're booked at the hospital which saved I's life as I trust them and they know our history in case we have another early arrival. Cons has been great, lots of hand holding. I see him every 2 weeks for a TWS and tummy scan. He doubts I have IC but is going with the covering all bases approach which is helping me. I've been a complete mess and I think i'm still in denial that I'm pregnant, just desperate to get past 29ws and then past the day M passed away.

Thanks for setting this thread up Nicola, I looked when I first discovered I was pregnant but there was anything so its great to see this hear now.

Will post more later but gotta get started on breakfast now!

 

[nicola ttc]

Good to see you here Springflower There's a few of us here now! I looked for another thread too and couldn't find one. I'm so glad i started this one too - you're a lovely bunch
Sweet that does sound like ic is a definite possibility if no infection was found. If so, they'll catch any changes early this time so can do a cerclage or keep you on bed rest. I think you and i will both be as anxious as each other to get to that 24 week mark with no signs of any problems!! Thanks for sharing nathaniels birth story.
How are the rest of you ladies today?
Lexi i've been thinking about you. How are things? Did you make a decision about the cvs? Sending some of these
Kristin i hope you are well and enjoying your little blue bundle. Xx

 

[nicola ttc]

Spring i have added you to the first page, i hope thats ok? Nice to have someone due between Feb and June!!

 

[sweetbuthyper]

nicola can you change my date to the 30th june x

 

[dextersmum]

Springflower its lovely that you have joined us and nice to read your post. Don't worry most of us (if not all on this thread) are nervous wrecks about this pregnancy so you are in the right place lol.

I have had a bit of a melt down today because I have been at home most of the time since we got the puppy a lot of the responsibility seems to have fallen to me (or I have taken it on??) such as walking him, feeding him, teaching him how to behave and when not feeling sick clearing up his mess in the back garden. Today it all just got on top of me as I have some work to do for training I am delivering in january and am trying to work from home but Rio (the pup) likes attention and just would not settle down and was being naughty jumping on the couch, pinching the cushions or wanting outside every 2 minutes and bringing dirty things into the house from the garden so I was getting nothing done so I put him in his locked cage (which I feel guilty about) and then after an hour of working I decided to take him for a walk, which I don't mind as it gets me some exercise and fresh air but I am not sure I can continue to do it as I get more pregnant?? I hoped that would help him settle down but he was more hyper when we got back. My parents came round and I broke down crying saying I can't cope with the pup and I am sick of him being my responsibility (probably not the best thing to do bitching about my husband and lack of his help, even though he wanted the dog lol) feel so much better after my outburst and had a little sleep as the pup went to sleep when my parents left. My mum went out and finished clearing the dogs mess as I had tried but was stood in the garden wretching and had to give up. think it must be my hormones and I still feel pretty tired even though they say you get more energy in the 2nd tri I am still waiting for mine to kick in

 

[dextersmum]

just wondered what people were planning at christmas to remember their angels?

we have got baubles on the tree for Dexter, put some christmas ornaments in his garden and we are going to release a balloon on christmas day with some of my family and write little messages on tags for him and then send a lantern up in the evening.

I really think being pregnant at the moment it helping take some of the pain away from the fact that I don't have Dexter here for his first christmas - does that make sense to anybody else??

 

[nicola ttc]

nicola can you change my date to the 30th june x

Done

 

[amjon]

I got a surprise in the mail today. Taylor's bear from Molly Bears arrived today. It's perfect. It's a soft pink bear with purple bow and a purple airplane. It came in time for her first birthday too! (Dec. 29) The twins both looked great at our 10 week scan on Friday. We go back next Friday for the 12 week. DH will be here for a few weeks, so it will be nice to have him home. He's been to every scan at the MFM so far (and we still have plenty to go). She did set my delivery date at June 19 if they don't decide to come on their own before that.