Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)

[amjon]

I've been told 30mm and above is normal and below 25mm is when they will step in/think about acting and placing a stitch. I am being monitored every 2 weeks minus this one when it will be in a week coz i'm worried.

They measure mine every 2 weeks also. At 10 weeks it was 3.7cm, the 3.2 cm at 12 weeks and 4.7cm at 14 weeks, so it can go up and down.

 

[dextersmum]

morning ladies I have a more active jelly bean today, didn't sleep very well last night as woke up needing a wee and then again when I had cramp but thats ok because I felt the baby bubbles then aswell so all good

I just had a funny experience I went out to clear up the dog poop, this is ususally hubby's job but he has been going out to work early when it is still dark and is home when it is dark so bit hard to find dog mess on the garden when dark. I thought I would be a good wife and help out only I ended up being sick in the garden when shovelling the poop don't think I will be doing that job again in a hurry.

Think I will just still to cooking and polishing as I can't do the hoovering

off to my parents in a bit with the puppy so they can entertain him. They have been on holiday for over 2 weeks so we need to catch up.

I have took a bump pic just need to get it on here. Although I don't have an obvious bump but then again I don't think I had an obvious bump when I was 6 months pregnant with Dexter??

 

[nicola ttc]

Just updating first page - Amjon, what is your due date?Shall i add you as 2 blue or are you waiting til your next scan 'just in case'

Xlaura_BellaX - i hope all is ok with you. Would you like to be added to the first pageas 14th August or wait til your next scan? Do you have a date for it yet?

Tracy - glad Jellybean has been more wriggly today, sprout has too - possibly because i've eaten a chocolate muffin AND a doughnut this morning... This one seems to like sugar!!
Sticking to polishing and cooking sounds a good plan to me!

Lexi - how are you? Haven't heard from you in a while, i hope all is ok. When is your next scan?

Nicksi - howbare things going?
Ich - how are you?! Not long now!!

 

[amjon]

Just updating first page - Amjon, what is your due date?Shall i add you as 2 blue or are you waiting til your next scan 'just in case'

Xlaura_BellaX - i hope all is ok with you. Would you like to be added to the first pageas 14th August or wait til your next scan? Do you have a date for it yet?

Tracy - glad Jellybean has been more wriggly today, sprout has too - possibly because i've eaten a chocolate muffin AND a doughnut this morning... This one seems to like sugar!!
Sticking to polishing and cooking sounds a good plan to me!

Lexi - how are you? Haven't heard from you in a while, i hope all is ok. When is your next scan?

I'm due July 9. I'm still hoping baby B is girlie.

 

[dextersmum]

lots of baby bubbles all day today the baby particularly likes it when I drink a hot drink or a cold milkshake
I have a bit of an addiction to Crusha strawberry milkshake which I make with semi skimmed milk so I consider it to be healthy I usually have a sweet tooth and I am having the odd sweet, usually if I feel sickly I have something in my bag/pocket to take my mind off it like today had wine gums as felt sickly. But I actually have 3 tins of chocolates from christmas and I haven't even eaten a tin yet and one isn't even open which is not like me but I don't suppose that is a bad thing. Iam more wanting savoury things like crisps in meaty flavours

I can get my bump photo on its says the file is too big lol so will have to try and take a different one another time.

Excited to see OBEM tonight for some reason I like wathcing birthing programmes do you ladies know you birth plans yet? Nicola will you be having a c-section before your due date?
The doctor asked me at my last apt what I want to do and she gave me literature on vbac and c-section. I am going to opt for vbac if everything goes to plan because for some bizarre reason I want to go through labour and have a natural birth as that option was taken away from me with Dexter as had to have emergency c-section

 

[nicola ttc]

Tracy i'd go for a vbac too if i was allowed - my first 2 were natural deliveries and i loved it. It's a wonderful experience but 'whatever gets baby here safely' is my motto now!!
I will definitely be having another section after 4 emcs - hopefully elective this time and not another emergency!!
It will be planned for 38 weeks providing i have no problems beforehand but if i begin contracting again they'll deliver before that if they can't stop them.
It's all getting a bit real now isn't it?! exciting but also terrifying!!

 

[dextersmum]

it is all starting to get a bit real Nicola I just wish I could fast forward to about 36 weeks lol

I am definitely going to try for a vbac but like you say what ever brings the baby here safely is the ultimate option.

Jelly bean is having a quieter day today I guess I am just going to have to get used to that lol I don't feel as freaked out by it today as have felt some bubbles

 

[sweetbuthyper]

i'm having a bad day, been resting as i had a busy day yeasterday and bed rest can be helpful in preventing cervical shortening but went out to meet hubby at the supermarket to get food for tea, got all the shopping go to the self servive tills went really dizzy and next thing i know i;m on the floor, having fainted so embarrassing i'm ok minus a twisted ankle and brused writst luckly i landed on my side and not the bump.

 

[_Lexi_]

Hey sorry been a bit quiet recently. Been hibernating from the blizzard. Norwich has been horrendous since Monday, today is no exception. Had to go to the drs Monday as my left knee has been really been painful, and they think I've somehow damaged all the cartilage in my knee. So have to ice it every 2 hours and keep it flat as much as possible.

My next scan is on the 31st, seems like forever, then every 4 weeks after that. Feeling the baby most days now, my cat is getting confused whenever he gets a little kick as he loves lying on my stomach.

Starting to struggle a little with Joshua's birthday/angelversary fast approaching. Still haven't announced this pregnancy yet. Bumped into a friend last week after putting a deposit down on our pram and told her. Her response was "your only 18 weeks, is it sensible to be buying a pram, I mean, what if this one dies too?". I didn't really know what to say, just said they've got a full refund policy, got home and burst into tears. How insensitive can you get?! We never got to buy a pram for Joshua, so I was so excited, just for her to put a dampner on it. I've barely got any friends after losing Joshua, so for her to say that was just horrible.

We "think" we've decided on names!! Considering Joshua wasn't named until he was about 8 hours old, I'm quite impressed we've come to an agreement.

I'm hoping for a vbac as well, sounds silly, but I feel like I failed Joshua a little by not being able to give birth naturally. Oh thinks I should have an elective c section though. My last one, the c section was ok, but my recovery was horrendous. I'm worried that once he goes back to work after the 2 weeks paternity leave, I'll struggle on my own. Took me 8-10 weeks to even start to feel somewhat normal after my last one. At the moment, my consultant is happy for me to vbac, but obviously we'll just see what happens. My biggest fear, and it's really silly, is that with a vbac, I'll be on the ward, instead of a private room like with c section, and oh won't be able to stay. I'm terrified something will happen overnight and oh won't be there, and as neither of us drive, he wouldn't get there in time. I also know there's a bit of a baby boom this year and that the hospital is just going to be overrun and they'll turn me away and send me somewhere else. All silly, irrational fears, but just the thought of either one is terrifying me.
xx

 

[sweetbuthyper]

well bean has been active this morning so calmer today and i finally got round to doing a bump pic i think i just look fatter but here you are

 

[dextersmum]

Lexi I can't believe how insensitive your friend was saying what she did that really was not a very nice thing for her to say at all and I am surprised you didn't get angry or cry in front of her you were strong to hold that in until you got home. Please delete from your memory what she said and carry on thinking positively and buying things for this baby. We deserve our happy endings and we shall get them so stay strong.
I know what you mean about c-section it is the recovery time needed afterwards. I recovered really quickly last time but I think that was my stubborness to do what I needed to do to be able to walk about a lot to visit Dexter in hospital I also needed to get back to driving when Dexter was moved to another hospital as it was easier for me to get there by driving.

It looks like we will be having all our scans at a similar time as our next one is 31st Jan will be 20+3 and then we have the dates for them every 4 weeks upto 36 weeks.

Are you going to share your names with us Lexi or are you keeping them secret??

Sweet I am really sorry to hear about your fainting spell hope your wrist and ankle are ok. I can see a clear bump on your photo and don't think you look fat you look pregnant

I continue to feel the baby bubbles which is lovely. It would be really nice to feel a kick or something on sunday as that is Dexters 1st birthday and that would make my day. I really can't believe that this time last year we were told that Dexter needed to be born. This will be a hard milestone to get through I am sure

we have about 4cm of snow here which is always lovely when it falls but not nice afterwards when it turns to ice so will have to be extra careful if I go out.

 

[sweetbuthyper]

i'm feeling a little better bean is active today which eases the worried i had yesterday. wrist is all fine today i think i just knocked it was ok after an hour or so yesterday, ankle is ok i'm still hobbling but can put a little more weight on it, if painkillers were an option i think i'd be walking fine but just resting it theres no swelling so hoping i just tweaked it and it should be alot better tomorrow its improved as the days gone on.

We aren't buying anything til 25 weeks but thats because i have nearly everything all we need is pram, car seat and non uni sex clothes then nappies ect. Also we currently have no where to store anything as baby stuff is rammed in cupboards where i hid it all and the nursey is full of stuff that probably should be in those cupboards not feeling up to sorting through it yet. I know we have a lot of stuff we can probs sell tho eg i know we have a rediciously amount of bear suits and we are having a summer baby, so will probs sell some and keep the best.

Plan on sortiing through stuff to see what we have i really can't remember other than i know the cot is in one of our wardrobes however i can't remember where i put the screws probs in the loft, will be sorting after my 20 week scan.

However i have chosen i think what pram i want and money + worry is the only thing stopping me buying it now so i don't think 18 weeks is too early at all we need to stay postive or the worry will drive us nuts and it doesn't do baby any good sorry your friend was so awful.

 

[_Lexi_]

I'll be 20+2 on the 31st, my due date is 19th June, what's yours?? Think all our scans are going to be very close!!

Our names are Sebastian James, or Jessica Lily. We've loved Jessica lily since my last pregnancy. Im not a huge fan of Sebastian, but I do like Seb, so it's kind of a happy medium. We really struggle with boys names.

I hope Sunday is gentle on you. Joshua's first birthday is the 6th February, and I'm getting a little nervous about it.

Glad your not seriously injured sweet and seem to be recovering ok. It's tough sorting through things. We've just gone through Joshua's clothes to find out what we had that was boys, and what was neutral so we had a vague idea what we might need if it is a girl. Was quite tough and emotional, I too hid everything away after losing Joshua. x

 

[dextersmum]

my due date is 17th June Lexi. The names you have choosen are lovely. We haven't even decided on a boys name as I have a strong feeling this is a girl so we will be shocked on the 31st if we find out it is a boy lol

We bought our balloon today to release at 9.50am tomorrow which is the time Dexter was born I can't believe a whole year has passed since we were told that Dexter needed to be born via emergency c-section. I am really not sure how I am feeling other than again feeling anxious about this pregnancy and just praying that everything goes well this time. I hope Dexter is looking over us and helps us through this pregnancy

 

[sweetbuthyper]

Dextersmum, We found that firsts are the hardest 1st birthday, what should have been 1st christmas, Its been a year a half for us now and it took me over a year to fall pregnant again so that adds to our worry over this littleone arriving saftly. However that said i did find this christmas easier than last and altho we remembered nathaniel and visited his grave it wasn't as heart wreacking or as difficult as the first christmas was.

I'm actually due round the date nathaniel was born, current due date 30th june and nathaniel was born on the 29th, so i know if i go full term its going to be very diffcult to deal with.

 

[Krippy]

Thinking of you Tracy! Happy Birthday Dexter!

 

[Baby Bell]

Happy birthday Dexter........Tracey thinking of you! I'm sure Dexter is having a wonderful party in the clouds

 

[nicola ttc]

Happy Birthday Dexter.
Floaty kisses to the sky for you.
Big hugs to you Tracy, been thinking of you lots today. Hope the day has been gentle on you.

 

[_Lexi_]

Happy birthday dexter!! xxx

 

[dextersmum]

hi ladies well I am almost through Dexter's first birthday thank you for your birthday wishes to my precious little boy I am sure all our children had a wonderful party to celebrate. Morning was a little hard as I remembered that a year ago I was being prepped for an emergency section and then at 9.50am Dexter was born and came into the world with a little cry. Its hard to see the scars on my tummy and knowing it was all for Dexter but he didn't get to stay. I have kept myself busy all day and had my parents and in-laws round for sunday roast so being occupied has helped me and jelly bean has been giving me regular bubbles through out the day which has helped me to get through it.

Krippy and Aileen it is lovely to see you both on here hope you and the babies are happy and well xx