Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)

[nicola ttc]

Hi all :wave:
Sorry you're feeling ill Tracy but glad you were able to get seen by the midwife so quickly to get that reassurance.
Oooh scan Thursday! Exciting. What do you think the gender is? Have you already ben told at a scan or is it a hunch you want confirmed?

24 weeks tomorrow Mizzpod! First milestone achieved!!

Lexi how are you? Haven't seen you on here in a while, hope everything is ok.

We have had a busy birthday weekend for Elliot so was looking forward to getting things done today as Alex is in pre-school all day but he wasn't feeling well so stayed home and has been clingy all day so have got next to nothing done. Oh well.
How is everyone doing with thinking of names? I am sick of looking at them in name books!! We have a 'family list' that we all add to if we think of a name we like. Alex has an imaginary friend called Sally and he keeps telling me thats what his sister will be called. Nope Alex, she won't.

Hope everyone is well.

 

[dextersmum]

Hi Nicola I have had a hunch from quite early on that this baby is a girl and my reiki lady told me she gets messages from spirits when I am there that I am carrying a girl?? at my 16 week scan the sonographer said she is not 100% sure but looks like a girl so will get it confirmed on thursday. I think we are almost there with a name but we will have to see what sex the baby is and then live with it for a while lol what about you have you and Nick agreed a name? or are you sticking with the family list? Are there any names that you have all agreed on yet?

 

[TanglieBirdie]

Hi ladies,
My name is Tarni. I am currently 21 weeks 1 day preggers with baby #2. Iam due june 10. But having an elective c-section at 38 + 3 on 30th may.
Iam having a csection as during my angel bubs labor she got sholder dystocia and she was only 7lbs 4. So they dont want to risk it happening again.

My first child was stillborn at 40 + 3 and then i delivered her at 41 weeks exactly on 25.02.2012 the day after my 24th birthday. Her name was Ava. Despite all the tests no cause was found for her passing.

I found out iam having a boy this time. Iam terrified it will happen again. Ive got a different doctor this time and she is fantastic. Trying tl b positive that things will b ok this time but as you all know its hard.

Im hoping its ok to join in this forum ive been readinh for a few days trying to catch up and thought id introduce myself. Would love to wrte more but iam on my phone and its a pain. Ill post properly shortly.

Take care all.

 

[nicola ttc]

Hi Tarni :wave: welcome.
Of course it's ok to join. Sorry for your loss of baby Ava. It's natural to feel anxious, especially as it's coming up to Ava's 1year angelversary but we're all here to support each other.

 

[MizzPodd]

Hiya Tarni! I'm so so very sorry for your loss you have a wonderful attitude and you are strong mama

Hey everyone else.... I am 24 weeks today!!!!! Omg!!!!! Next milestone is 28 weeks for me. Can't wait til appt on Thursday!

 

[dextersmum]

Hi Tarni welcome to our group. So sorry for your loss of Ava, I love that name it is beautiful. We are alway here offering each other support and words of encouragement so feel free to post as often as you like. Have you decided on any names for your baby boy yet?

Mizz congratulations on the 24 week milestone that is my next one then I definitely want to get passed 28 weeks as that is when I had to have a c-section with my last pregnancy so am on a 10 week count down a week at a time of course.

Alex how are you doing sweetheart? hope everything is ok and baby is kicking up a storm in your bump

 

[sweetbuthyper]

Welcome to tarni ,

I'm felling off today dunno whats up jusy don't feel right probs coming down with something. i have decided i don;t like non scan weeks they seem to drag on for ever. I'm starting to get nervous now its only 2 weeks til my 20 week scan ( i have one next week as well at 19 weeks for my cervix) and 5 weeks til i'm at the stage when i lost nathaniel. Just hopeing my body behaves and i can make it past the 24 week mark only 6 weeks to go. goal after that is 28 weeks.

decided we will start buying things after the 25 week mark but i dunno it may change if i don't feel happy then altho i have a feeling it will never feel 100% ok and we really need to buy stuff before baby arrives and preferably before i hit 30+ weeks in case of needing bed rest or anything else. My mum had bad preeclampsia and i have already had one reading with protien in so working on the basis that i will end up with bed rest at some point during the pregnancy and if i don't its just a bonus.

Happy v day to mizzpod, keep that littleone cooking

We have definate names now altho wont be telling family middle names as want them to be a suprise, i think i may change my mind.

we have:
boy : Alexander Anthony Keith Lomax
and Girl: Gabrielle Eve Lomax

Middle names for a boy are after my grandad who passed last year and simons uncle who passed 12 + years ago and girl is my grandma who is eva but i prefer eve.

we were going to just have Alexander Keith Lomax for a boy but i think the one we have decided on flows better

We will be shortening alexander to xander and will most likley end up using gabby as a short for for gabrielle in every day life with there longer names for forms and ect.

 

[MizzPodd]

Dexter- I know how difficult and scary it must be to be coming close to that week. But I think you are taking it slow and that's good. Your angel is watching over your rainbow baby

Sweetbuth- I love the names! An it is cute how you already have them nicknames. That is how I will probably be with this baby. Oh and I completely understand the delay in buying things. I passed my angels delivery and week and that's when I felt safe to buy stuff so you take your time sweetie

Everyone lets keep these babies cooking okay! Sending positive vibes to you a

 

[dextersmum]

hi sweet I am feeling pretty crappy today this head cold has really got a hold of my and my sinuses are blocked one minute and nose running the next and I am having trouble breathing through my nose which is making sleeping a challenge. I just tried to have a lie down with the dog as am feeling pretty tired and I couldn't breath he is fast asleep on the couch and I am not sat up on my laptop lol think it will be an early night for me after I have put my head over a bowl of steam.

I have had protein in my urine on at least 2 occassions but as it is a trace they midwife and consultant doesn't seem to be concerned. So you might just be the same and have nothing to worry about.

I know what you mean about non scan or appointment weeks they do seem to drag. At least you are still having fortnightly meetings I have gone to monthly now but will be visiting my midwife inbetween if I feel the need for reassurance and to listen to baby's heart beat.

I am definitely going to wait until after 28 weeks before looking at prams as I bought it at 27 weeks last time and my mum took it back for me when we lost Dexter. I think I only need to get the big things like pram, car seat, bouncer, video monitor as we have a lot of things from last time. Of course if I am having a girl I will buy a few more clothes but will go through Dexter's things and see what unisex things I have. I also think I will try to sell some of the boys clothes that I have got so that I have some money towards the other things I need.

I am feeling more movements now which is great and it feels like the baby is doing rolls in my stomach. Hubby thought he felt the baby last night when he had his hand on my stomach as we were falling asleep but I didn't feel anything so I am not sure if he did feel baby but I hope he did.

We will all be here to support each other through the difficult milestones which is a great help for me.

I can't remember sweet are you going to find out the sex of the baby or have a surprise?

 

[MizzPodd]

Is everyone sick?? I've been battling this sore throat and congestion for a few weeks now. I thought if I ignored it it would go away lol guess not!

Team yellow for me

 

[dextersmum]

Mizz I wish I could stay team yellow but feel like I need to know so that I can prepare myself especially as we have a bedroom for a baby boy and wardrobe full of boys clothes which we got for Dexter and if this is a girl I want to sort through Dexters things before I come home with this baby

I started with a sore throat before the weekend and tried to ignore it but it got worse and now I can't ignore that I feel ill because I can't breath lol

 

[MizzPodd]

Oh dex I completely understand I would find out if I had the room decorated and everything. I know that must be hard you are being so strong
my hubby knows but I don't know so we are always joking around. I ask so how's our boy? And he'll say or girl. Lol
Don't you wish we could ignore the sickness and it slowly creeps away?? Omg at night is the worse for me and it hurts to breathe!

 

[dextersmum]

how come your husband knows Mizz and you don't?? will he be able to keep it to himself until the baby arrives lol

I am feeling a little anxious again today and can't wait for tomorrow to be here so I can have my scan and find out if everything is ok with Jelly bean I really need to know if it is growing because the movements are still not in a pattern or always that strong or consistent every day feels like something different. I hope that is normal but I can't help comparing with Dexter's pregnancy although I can't remember when I first started feeling strong movements with him I just remember there was a regular pattern and timings but again I got to 28 weeks with Dexter and I can't remember when the pattern started.... so many things to compare and I can't help it just wish I had wrote everything down in Dexters pregnancy as I have been doing this time.

 

[sweetbuthyper]

dextersmum we are hoping to find out we only have unisex stuff although i still have no clue what we do and don't have its been a year and a half and its been in storage so i can't see it so need to get it out in the next few weeks and find out. We are going to paint the babys room neutral mainly because we rent and are only allowed neutral but also because we want fx more kids after this one ( with how hard this pregnancy is turning out to be i think i must be crazy). so we would like to have coloured bedding ect altho in no rush to get any of the cot stuff until babys here as they will be in our room in the crib for 6 months.

Also would like to get some non unisex clothes, pram wise i think i have decided on one but am holding out to see if it goes on sale at easter. We have bouncers and things altho need to test anything that makes noise to see if it works, and we have a baby monitor altho thinking of getting a new one it was second hand and doesn't work that great.

my green notes says +protein, they didn't mention it so assume they weren't to concerned but its more than trace so will see next week if its altered.

I am feeling alittle better today altho i have toothache its more annoyin than pain at the min and hoping it stays that way and really want to avoid any treatment til after beans born or at a push til after i'm 25 weeks if absolutly necessay, i know its meant to be safe but i had treatment a few weeks before loosing nathaniel and just not feeling happy with doing it. plus its my wisdom tooth and i always get dry socket so pulling it will mean tons of antibiotics and pain will be worse that the current niggle.

Bean is still being quiet some days altho has decided he/she likes avenge sevenfold the band and was bouncing around when the oh had it on last night i don't think i had a pattern with nathaniel i had regular movement but don't remember a pattern so assume that comes after 23 weeks.

 

[MizzPodd]

Dex he wanted to know because what happened with our angel. When she was born we were told it was a boy so we thought for several weeks it was a boy. Everything is in a boys name like death certificate birth certificate and the ern. We still haven't got to get it changed up til this day. I designed a baby ern for her to be in becuz we couldn't stand seeing a boys name everyday we look at her. Idk how they gave us the wrong sex either. She was born living and everything. But this time I think it helps him have a peace of mind and helps him stay strong. It's only been 6 months since we lost her and we still have no closure becuz of their gender mix up we r working to get everything changed so we can move forward but when found out it was a girl, it felt like losing a another child all over again

Hubby is opposite of me, I'm outspoken and wouldn't be able to keep it a secret but he has no problem. He's known for several weeks now lol it's fun teasing each other about it though lol

But I think it's normal for infrequent movement at your stage becuz my baby didn't start an actual pattern until around 22 weeks. Plus baby will be bigger in a couple of weeks and you will feel more distinct movements. Hope this helps I know it's still hard tho and of course the scan reassures you. I have my appt tomorrow so I can't wait to see how cerclauge is doing and also to see if baby is growing on time still... Update on your scan appt and I'm sure everything will be okay!!

 

[Springflower]

Argh, I'm really behind! Have had a quick catch up but will hopefully get a chance to come on here properly soon.

So just to fill you in on me. Went for a private scan to check baby/blood flow etc and she's fine!!!!!!!!!!! I'm furious with the consultant, he scared the crap out of me! But main thing is baby is fine and looking very average. Which is great I'll take that! Got my NHS growth scan on Friday where I hope they come to the same conclusion!

Bugger got to go, Indy is crying. Hopefully back in a bit. Sorry I havent got round to anayone. Feel a bit rude just talking about me!

 

[nicola ttc]

Spring that's great news!! Hope the consultant at the growth scan agrees.

 

[_Lexi_]

Sorry I've been awol for awhile. Been struggling a little the past week, and it was mine and the oh's anniversary at the weekend and went out for a lovely italian

Spring, I'm glad your baby is average!! Think that's what we all want to hear!! Great news. Not so great the consultant scared you though.

Mizz, we had the opposite to you last time, I found out but my oh didn't. He caved at 24 weeks though, so stay strong for your yellow surprise!! I really wanted to be team yellow, but I like to be prepared and need to know if we need to get our blue stuff out, or go girly shopping. We didn't have a nursery done last time, so would love to decorate a nursery this time. No rush though for that, they'll be in with us for a few months.

Sweet, I hope your toothache goes soon. It's horrible. I know all to well the pain from wisdom teeth. What pram have you chosen?

Dextersmum, scan day for both of us tomorrow what time is your appointment?? 20 weeks would be early to have regular movement patterns, don't think I had a specific pattern with Joshua until 25-27 weeks. I'm getting movement and kicks, but very sporadic. So I'm sure everything is fine with jellybean.

I'm getting a bit nervous about tomorrow. Even though Joshua's 20 week scan was fine, still expecting something to be wrong. This pregnancy has been to plain sailing compared to my last!! Got my 24 week appointment through for 26th feb, that's the one I'll be really nervous for. We still haven't announced to many people/facebook. Maybe we just won't. Not sure.

I'm starting to struggle with it being Joshua's birthday and angelversary next week. Not sure how I'm going to deal with it. Don't really know what to do to 'celebrate'/honour him. I miss him so much, I'm worried I won't bond with this baby as much because it's not Joshua

Was a bit naughty today and moved some furniture round, but I've been asking the oh for over 2 months and it's always 'yeah, I'll do it in a minute...' and it just never gets done!! Had a job interview yesterday at a bridal boutique, I've wanted to work there for a long time, just think they won't employ me at 20 weeks pregnant getting bored not working, I need a hobby!! xx

 

[MizzPodd]

Lex- I'm so sorry for your loss. He is beautiful (saw your profile pic)
I have no idea how to deal with an angelversary... Mine will be in July. Don't beat yourself up sweetie about not bonding. I've read from other women in this forum that their bindings came t different times and that it was normal to feel that way. I think once you see your rainbow baby and see their healthy, you will form that bond but please take your time sweetie. You are in a very bittersweet moment right now. Don't feel guilty because your angel is smiling at you and knowing how much you love him I hope this helps you a little

With hubby, he's more excited that I don't know and I think that's another reason he hasn't said anything. we didn't get to set up nursery either last time and like your baby ours will be in our room for the first months anyway. Plus I want to help decorate nursery (on bedrest until delivery). So we agreed to work on nursery after baby is born but like dextersmom, I completely get why you want to know. I definitely would have found out too if I had all the new baby boy things. I pray this pregnancy takes you to full term

 

[Springflower]

Right I'm back!

Lovely to hear from you Lexi! I'm keeping everything crossed that your scan brings only good news. Scan are so stressful arent they? You just never know what the outcome will be. I really feel for you it being such a week next week. Its my girls birthday the week after and I'm starting to get very stressed about it too. I can't believe its nearly a year. She starting to feel so far away from me. I guess with all these "milestones" we get through them, but its hard. Are you doing anything? I think we will release some balloons, I like to do that and have a quiet day. We are holding a family birthday party for indya on the Sunday so I'm going to try and be happy for that.

Mizz - Ohhh you are good! I'm terrible if there's something to know I have to know it! I would be driving myself nuts trying to trick my hubby into telling me. Well done though, I'd love to be team yellow but just couldnt do it. The surprise must be amazing.

Sweet - Eugh, hate toothache! You have my full sympathy. I hope it eases up soon.

Dextersmum - So sorry to hear you've got the lergy. I constantly had a cold/sore throat thing for a few weeks and it really got me down. Hope it passes soon for you. I'm excited to hear what team you are on tomorrow and of course I hope all news is good. Really dont worry about feeling regular movements, I've only just started to feel them and I'm 27ws today. So I would try not to fret. Easier said than done I know!

Hi to Nicola and Amjon. Hope I havent missed anyone!

Ohh Nicola, you need to update the front page with your team pink! I love going there and seeing our rainbow babies. Makes me happy.