Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)

[amjon]

thanks for the explanation Amjon. I can't believe how much they charge for appointments. What do you do if you don't have insurance? Does your insurance go up when you have had baby loss etc? I am so glad we have free NHS I know I moan about the lack of consistency with my consultant appointments but at least its free and I get my perscriptions free with a maternity exemption certificate I have had one for over a year know and this one runs out next June so get free dentist apts to.

Is anybody craving anything at the moment? I am loving bacon flavoured crisps. I am really missing prawns and medium rare steak and runny eggs lol. I am sat watching my husband drinking a big glass of wine (I have actually just stolen a sip whilst he is out of the room) I told him he should only be drinking and eating what I am allowed to and me supporting me whilst pregnant he just laughed at me.

I said to hubby tonight that Miss Lexi Beth had been quiet today and he looked at me strangely and said what did you say? When did we agree the middle name??? seriously he is driving me mad not listening we have had several conversations about and I even mentioned it too him straight after the scan yesterday when we found out jellybean is a girl??

sweet my sickness returns but I don't think I have had it as bad as you as it has never stopped me eating lol

No the insurance can't go up if you've had it for something. Sometimes they can exempt things for pre-existing, so if you cancel your insurance and try to get new they wouldn't cover it. Mine is 100% employer paid, so it's nice, but when I stop working for good we'll have to probably pay for mine (unless we can convince DH's employer to pay for the whole family, which we're trying, but don't know if we'll be successful). My prescriptions are also quite expensive, but I'm lucky that insurance covers a great deal of the cost. I probably pay out about $200/ month now. My one prescription for the blood thinner is $800/month, but I only pay $8 for it as it's generic. (My blood testing strips are actually the most expensive prescription I have now.) I have a different insurance I have to pay for dental, but still end up having to pay quite a bit out of pocket. I had to pay $125 for a cleaning and $105 for one small filling with my insurance. DH and I have had the naming issue also. I thought we had agreed on two boy names during our second pregnancy, but then he decides he wants baby B to have an Indian first name (Sai and Ram were two he mentioned). I told him flat out it wasn't happening. HE is actually the one that picked the second name also. He's now agreed to that name again with his name as the middle name (which is what I wanted anyway). So, we're set on names again.

 

[sweetbuthyper]

Dextermum, i'm craving salt and vinegar or plain french fries, kfc and steak at the min, have to admit i am eating my steak medium rare/ medium have decided my need for iron out weighs risk of food poisoning.

you can eat prawns last time i looked as long as there hot all the way through. runny eggs is still a no although shouldn't really be as samonellia is vacinated against in uk hens hence the lion stamp.

 

[MizzPodd]

Amjon beat me to the punch lol but she's right.
In my case though I am military affiliated so the expense is paid through tricare 100%
My MFM took on my case because of all the red flags. They are considered higher up from OB docs and delegate wht their recommendations for you are. Fortunate for me, she said the ob docs are doing exactly what she would be so the appt was positive. They referred me to her to get a more insightful look at my case, and then would follow her plan of care. She was a very nice and compassionate person.

I've gained a good amount of weight lol 15 pounds maybe. They weigh me every appt but I ask them not to tell me.

I've been craving chocolate ice cream, cereal, and meat! Lol but my diet is very balanced and I've started my GD diet just in case I get it again. I'm hoping to avoid having to take insulin this time. But I'm really hoping to avoid getting GD all together. Don't need another red flag!

 

[dextersmum]

amjon are you keeping your names a secret until the boys are born??

I have been eating hot prawns but I miss just being able to eat prawns out of the fridge hubby bought some today and if I want some I will have to heat them up and watch him just eat his out of the packet lol

I went for a reiki session today and felt very calm and relaxed and I think the baby liked mummy in that state as I could really feel her presence either in movement or a weight in my stomach. The reiki lady said she felt lots of pink around my stomach which symbolises love and protection she said baby is very protected by lots of spirits and I have to start to love this pregnancy and myself so that is something for me to work on over the next 18 weeks.

I bought my first pink clothes today just 2 outfits with a voucher I had in my purse and my mum brought round 2 big backs full of baby girls clothes that she had got from the charity shop she works in and to be honest I loved them but it took my breath away seeing so much pink and not the blue clothes from Dexter's pregnancy - something else to get used to.

I wondered what your thoughts were on the baby's bedroom. We had decorated Dexter's room blue with red, white and blue border with nautical theme and have the bedding from toys r us to match. I want to keep the bedroom the same so that Lexi has something of her big brothers but put more red in there with curtains and wall stencilling etc. What do you think? would you completely change it into a little girls room??

 

[dextersmum]

hello ladies hope you are all having a nice weekend. I have had a few tears this afternoon as I decided to go into the nursery and look through Dexter's clothes to see what we have that is unisex and what boys things I need to start moving out of the drawers to replace with girls clothes and I couldn't stop myself crying when I saw Dexter's premature baby clothes and the tops I had bought in the new year sale last year and just thinking that he didn't even get to wear them. Hard but it needs to be done as Lexi can't go round wearing all her brothers clothes for the next 2 years lol

 

[Springflower]

Big huggies Tracy. We are lucky in that I hadnt really bought anything for the girls and things I had I hadnt decided whose was whose. So haven't had that problem and the same with the nursery. We had just finished it when Marnie got sick and then when she died we changed the room around and took down her cot. I'm not sure yet if we will use it for Dot. I don't think there is anything wrong with keeping or changing Dexter's room. Do which ever feels right for you. Good on you for buying some pink! Thats so exciting!! We havent bought anything yet. But it's different I think as we already have Indya and are having another little girl, so not much to buy.

I'm thinking of co sleeping with this lo. What are people's thoughts on that? She won't be lying in the bed with me but am thinking of getting a co Sleeper. When we finally bought Indya home I was too frightened to have her in the moses basket and she hated it. I think becuase she had been in a see through cot for so long she wasnt used to it. Also our alarm kept going off in the moses basket so it was too stressful. So she slept in my arms at night which isn't ideal and I didnt really sleep. This time I would love to bf so want her near for that and want her near so I stay sane.

While I remember scan was ok I think on Friday, they still think shes small but ok small if that makes sense. The cow bag wasnt giving anything away though and kept saying I needed to talk to the cons on Monday. Grrr!

Right gotta go, need to give oh instructions on what luzocade drink to get me for the GDT on Monday - lovely!

 

[dextersmum]

thanks Alex we have decided to keep the room as it is and add some colourful stencil work on the wall. I have found some things on amazon such as baby's name with butterflies round it (butterflies remind me of dexter so I like that a lot) and there is a A-z stencil with the same colours as the border with more red in it so I will buy these and see what they look like and take it from there as the other option is to paint over the blue in pale lemon

I am so glad your scan went ok on friday they probably mean baby is in lower pecentile for size I think if there was anything to really worry about they would have made you see the consultant on friday?? let us know how you get on tomorrow.

Is the GDT the diabetes test? I have to have that at 28 weeks.

What is co-sleeping? is that where one side of babies cot is open and you can touch her from your bed or when baby is in your room? I will be having the baby in our room in a moses basket. you never know Alex this baby maybe ok in the moses basket in your room which means you won't have to sleep with her in your arms

 

[Springflower]

The nursery sounds lovely Tracy. When it's done you must post some pics. I think it's nice to keep some of Dexter's room and the butterflies will look after your little lady. We aren't planning on doing a room for Dot yet. The first 6 months she'll be in with us anyway. And after that we will need to do a reshuffle. We arent planning on putting her in with Indya. As I'm hoping to have Indya sorted with sleep and dont want her to get distubed. So think this little lady will move to a room which is curently a study so will need to move that somewhere as Gaz often works from home. Also we might have an extension built so don't want to do a nursery then chnge things. But I have to admit I'm starting to want to get sorted.

I think co-sleeping can mean in your bed with you, in a cot which has a side which is open so you can reach for the baby and some ppl say it for being in the same room. Although personally I wouldnt call that co-sleeping. I'm determined not to have this lo in the bed with me as I didnt really sleep and I was terrfied of the sad stories you hear. I think I'm going with a cot with the side down which wll attach to the bed. I don't think we'll have a moses basket. It sounds silly but now I really dislike them, they make me sad. We bought ours for the girls to share at the start but only Indya went in it. I then sold it on ebay as I hated having it in the house. I don't think there's anything wrong with them they just have a bad assoication for me. We will definatley be getting another movement alarm for this lo as it's been a lifesaver for us. It's really helped with our fears and for peace of mind I want the same again.

Yes I think this lo is hopefully just a little bit small, seeing the cons tomorrow and hopefully will get a straight answer from him. She is strating to kick more which is lovely, so different from a twin pregnancy. By now my knees really hurt and I was huge, but this time I feel fine. Its just hard having to carry Indya all the time.

Yes its the diabetes test tomorrow. Am really happy as this test is the 1 hour one. Last time I had to fast for 12 hours, eugh! This one is at 28ws altough I wont be 28ws until Wens, but I don't want to have to get down to Brighton twice in a week!

Ohh while I remember Gaz and I have been really brave. We've traded in our Audi 3 door for a proper family (estate) car with 5 doors. So thinking about it we have bought something!

Wish me luck girls tonight is our 2nd night of trying not to give Indy a night feed. Would be lovely to have her sttn before this lo arrives!

Hope everyone is doing ok. This probably sounds silly but I love checking our 1st page and seeing babies there, makes me feel that just maybe everything will be ok.

 

[nicola ttc]

Just saw Ich had her baby. Ticker says 1week 6 days ago, called Jonathan so if you still read this thread Ich, congratulations!!
Tracy i think the nursery sounds lovely. The butterflies (will they be pink?) sound great too. I love butterflies and dragonflies for the same reason. Lexi Beth is a beautiful name.
I am going crazy looking at names!! I am so desperate to have a name for this baby in case she does arrive early but not loving any at the moment!
Had a mini meltdown tonight as i haven't felt her kivking so much today but got the doppler out and heard hb and lots of kicks so she must just have moved. Still worrying though.
Lexi - congrats on team pink! Love the name, Jessica is one of my favourites but oh's friend has a jessie and he thinks it's too similar.
Spring great news the scan went well. Hope alls good atthe consultant appointment tomorrow. I'm sure it's just a petite little lady.
How is everyone else?

 

[nicola ttc]

Here is my family list. I rewrote it as some were unreadable and didn't include cat-in-the-hat or batgirl for obvious reasons https://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u620/nicolabird/20130203_220228_zps86ccea0b.jpg

 

[nicola ttc]

Note that Peppa (pig), Minnie (mouse), Rainbow, Boo (from monsters inc), 'hello' Kitty, Ramona (from film Beezer and Ramona) and Sally (alexanders imaginary friend) are still on the list so i'm not completely unreasonable with their suggestions!!

 

[amjon]

amjon are you keeping your names a secret until the boys are born??

I think we're going to wait awhile (not sure if til after birth yet or not). With Taylor I told some even before we knew she was a girl for sure. My mom kept trying to get me to change her name, so if we don't tell them til after they are here she won't be able to do that.

 

[MizzPodd]

Nicola Boo is a cute namelol Monsters Inc is my go to movie when I need to be cheered up. Lol
Ramona is pretty ( I have all the books from when I was little)

 

[dextersmum]

Nicola I just read out some of your "character" names to Anthony and we both giggled glad we haven't asked any young children their suggestions or were these Nicks suggestions lol. You have some names on your list that I had. I love Freya but Ant doesnt like it. I love Lucy but one of Ants daughters has a 1/2 sister called Lucy so that is a no go and I always loved Jessica when I was younger but think I have outgrown it now. We had Georgia, Madison and I like both of these. The one that jumps out at me from when you first said it is Evie I think that is beautiful. Will Nick let you have your own way or will you have to agree?. It got to the point that as soon as I mentioned a name if Ant said he liked it I kept repeating it and adding a middle name to it to test it out until I convinced him that he had agreed lol.

Amjon we decided to share the name so that people have time to get used to it and if they don't like it tough. We had a few strange looks when we told people Dexters name but every body said how well it suited him once he arrived. My dad did make me laugh because even after Dexter was born he said to my mum "does she not want to call him Aaron" - No dad we have already called him Dexter.
Everyone has said they love the name Lexi and my mum loves that I am using Beth as an abbreviation of my middle name.

Who knows when our babies arrive we might decide to give them a completely different name

went to the pelvic girdle pain clinic tonight and had a group session with 6 other ladies. It was a right laugh the lady told us we can't hoover, mop, pick up anything heavy, push shopping trolly, have sex in missionary position with legs spread apart, mustn't cross our legs and should be sat on a bouncy exercise ball and do 3 lots of pelvic floor exercises every day and sleep surrounded by about 6 extral pillows and if there is no room in the bed for hubby tell him to sleep else where. And even if we do all this there is no way of getting rid of pgp it just helps to be less painful
I am so glad I only get it every now and again and not like some of the other ladies that were there.

Nicola I know what you mean about melt downs when you dont feel the baby move so much I swear my little girl has an active day followed by a quiet day followed by a relaxing day then active day and so the cycle begins and I am sat there talking to her asking her to boot the hell out of me. She has been really active since the clinic today I think doing the pelvic floor exercises got her moving

when is your next apt Nicola?

have you all thought about what prams you are going to get?? we started looking on saturday.

Last question is anybody going to have a 3/4D scan? I looked at them when pregnant with Dexter but he was born before I had chance to get it done and I am looking into it this time but hubby thinks it is expensive

 

[sweetbuthyper]

well i feel awful had a scan today baby is fine but my body is starting to fail, cervix lenght dropped to 2.6 and starting to funnel booked in for a stitch tomorrow fx it all goes well for me and bean who was confirmed as being blue today x

 

[dextersmum]

sweet congratulations on your blue bundle it is nice to see a boy amongst all the pink of the rest of us lol are you sticking with the name Alexander (xander for short). How are you feeling about it being a little boy?

don't think of it as your body failing at least the professionals have been keeping an eye on you this time and there are things they can do I have heard good success stories with the stitch and fingers crossed it is all you need to keep your little boy safe and well growing inside you I am sending you positive vibes and good luck wishes sweet

I went for a pregnancy massage and facial today that my sil bought me for christmas. I think my back must have plenty of knots in it as it was very tender in places and I didn't find the massage bed very comfortable to lie on either think I will stick with my reiki as it doesn't hurt

 

[sweetbuthyper]

mixed feelings on it being a boy really we expected it they thought he was when we asked at 16 weeks but it still feels strange after loosing Nathaniel to be expecting another boy, also i guess with the news things may not be ok its hard. trying to stay possitive my cervix is still fairly long and they have caught it early. we will be sticking with Alexander as his name still hard to get excited think its going to take till at least 25 weeks before i feel positive about being pregnant.

 

[Springflower]

Oh big hugs Sweet, but as you said they have caught it early. I too have heard good things about the stiches. I know you will be feeling frightened, I would too. Hang in there, with any luck the stitch will get you a lot further.

Nicola - I like your names esp the ones inspired by childrens tv! We asked our nieces for some suggestions and got some similar ones! You've got my fav on your list, Lara. I think that may be what we go for, although oh suggested Cassie yesterday which I quite like.

Tracy - I'm funny with massages, sometimes I end up wishing I can get out! I'm a big facial fan. They dont hurt!

Amjon - Totally get why you arent telling your mum. We didnt tell people until we had the gilrs and still my family felt the need to comment. They wont be doing that again!

AFM saw the cons yesterday. I have a small baby but she's growing fine so they arent worried. I dont feel that great but I know I wont until she is here an safe. So seeing him again in 2 weeks and he'll give me a quick scan, then 2 weeks after that I've got a proper scan and see him after. I feel a bit funny about this as next Wens is the anniversary of the girls birthday and I can't quite see me getting further than that at the moment. I'm finding having exactly the same due date a bit of a head f%$k!

 

[dextersmum]

a milestone date is always harder Alex esp the lead up and I am not surprised you are in a head F%&k with the same due date. You have got plenty of regular apts and scans which will hopefully give you reassurance every couple of weeks

I am sure once you get passed the birthday you will be a bit more relaxed about dates as you will have got through a big milestone. Unfortunately the next milestone for us to then both get through before our rainbows arrive is the angelversary which are 2 days apart for our angels so I will be here supporting you and just believe that our angels are looking after their siblings and will get us through this

 

[Springflower]

I know, it's coming isn't it Tracy. I'm dreading it. I don't want it to be a year, I want so bad for her still to be here.

We'll hold each others hands and get through it.

xxx