Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)

[MizzPodd]

Spring flower it is very exciting not knowing!! Most days I get the feeling it's a boy but then other days a girl! It's so crazy though because hubby just reacts the same with either gender I say. I just want a healthy full term baby
You are going to be full term before you know it!! I'm 24 weeks so I have a while but I think time will fly by for us all in a good way! I know many women love being pregnant but I honestly want it to keep going by fast so I can be closer to meeting my rainbow baby

 

[dextersmum]

Mizz I can't believe the hospital messed up so much on the sex of your baby how can they get that worng?? I don't blame your husband for wanting to know at all.
I hope you are right and the rest of our pregnancy flies by. In a way I do feel like getting to 20 week has been fast but then in another way it has been slow with all the anxiety etc lol

Sweet sorry to hear about your toothache. I have been getting sensitive teeth on one side when I have hot food and I have a filling problem on the top right that I am hoping holds off as I know I can't get anything else done to it untl after giving birth.

Alex it is lovely to hear that you had a private scan and your baby is "average" because that is a lovely word and I am sure you will get that confirmation at your scan this week.

Lexi don't worry about not feeling bonded with this baby it will come especially when you get bigger and stronger kicks and find out what you are having and giving them a name and then holding them in your arms and don't forget this is a different pregnancy (my mantra for this pregnancy) and it is good if it has been plain sailing. Was there a point in Joshua's pregnancy that you were told things were wrong if we know that we can support you through that milestone? or was it only when he was born??
We just released a balloon for Dexter's birthday and I had a cry in the morning at the time he was born but I spent time talking to my husband and then Dexter and managed to get through the rest of the day. So just do what ever you and OH think is right for you.

My scan is at 9am tomorrow and my 24 week scan is on the 28th feb as always on a thursday as have a consultants apt afterwards. I have been getting some kicks tonight so feeling a bit more relaxed. I also feel a bit better today and hopefully my cold is going as I have not been having as much trouble breathing.

Nicola any new names on your list? Any names the children have suggested that you like?

I have just watched OBEM did anybody else see it? there was a couple on who had a baby at 26 weeks previously who died at 12 days old and it was nice to see a good news story on the programme and listen to how she had dealt with pregnancy and see the birth. That will be all of us over the next 5 months I am sure xx

 

[sweetbuthyper]

cheers everyone the tooth has settled so fx it stays that way think its just sensitivity as i knocked a bit off it

Lexi i like the look of the Jane slalom pro, we are thinking of getting the older model and not the new reverse as i'm not too fussed about the parent facing mode or the new brakes and they are the only difference and theres £200 difference. hoping to go play with it in mothercare in the next few weeks see if i like it and will most likely order online as its cheaper.

hope everyon thats poorly feels better in the morning

 

[nicola ttc]

Mizzpod, what's your due date so i can add you to the first page?
Tracy and Lexi, good luck for your scans tomorrow. Will be looking forward to updates!!

 

[_Lexi_]

My scans at 11.20, then 24week scan with my consultant on 26th, but might have to change it as the oh is meant to be interviewing some people for a managers job.

At no point did they think things were as bad as they were. I went in to a&e at 23 weeks with reduced movement, dr there had a very old scan machine they keep for looking for clots, and just off handedly asked if I'd been told there was low fluid round baby. Was then rushed up to delivery (1.30am by this point) and had another scan and a nst. I was then back the next day, and from that point I was in seeing my consultant/midwife every other day. Twice a week they'd do doppler/blood flow checks, once a week for a growth scan, all whilst having nst's every time. Then went in one Friday, he said baby hasn't grown, and he'd deliver on the Monday at spot on 34 weeks. Had steroid injections the friday and Saturday, and had Joshua Monday morning. They thought he'd be fine, just little. After an hour, his heart stopped and took 20mins to resus him, and it was all downhill from there. Took them 4 hours to tell us there was a problem though, which I'll never forgive them for. It's 4 hours we could of spent with him.

So really, I won't even be able to relax once this ones arrived. I've got a bit of an irrational fear of having to go onto the ward from delivery and oh being sent home. I'm terrified he'll be sent home and things will go wrong. He doesn't drive, so wouldn't be easy for him to get to the hospital during the night. Just don't know how to approach the subject with the hospital and if they'd give me a private room like they did with my c section. Oh stayed the whole 4 days I was in and only left for my mum to run him home and get clean clothes. The thought of going onto the ward alone, scares me more than labour.

Sweet, we looked at some of the janes, some of them are really nice. We've just put a deposit down on an iCandy peach jogger. £200 is a huge difference for no massive changes?!

I just watched obem too, had a few tears, but so lovely to see they got their rainbow x

 

[amjon]

Glad everyone's babies are doing good. For the tooth problems I would definitely get it worked on. I had a tooth that was bothering me (and I can't take my usual Aleve for the pain). I asked the MFM and she said it was perfectly fine to have it taken care of and gave me a note for the dentist. I went in yesterday and it's now feeling much better. They skipped the x-rays and only used certain pregnancy safe local. He only had the usual problem of getting me numb and keeping me that way, but it was still a small cavity, so it didn't take long to fix it. I've been really run down the last couple of days though. I don't think I'm really sick, just the twins stealing all my energy. It seems two at this point are much more tiring than one. (Part of it could be the anxiety too as they haven't been moving a whole lot lately, but I do feel them off and on.) I wanted to get the nursery paint touched up and things moved around so we can get the new carpet put in there, but it hasn't happened yet. DH will be home tomorrow night through the weekend, so I'm looking forward to seeing him. I'm hoping one of the babies will kick hard enough for him to feel. It's almost like I'm stalling in doing things I should be because of what happened to Taylor. I haven't even put anything in my pregnancy journal. I'm almost afraid to as I started doing one right away for our 2nd pregnancy and then he died too.

 

[dextersmum]

hello ladies well it is official we are team pink and are having a baby girl. The scan went well and everything is as it should be at this stage and jellybeans growth is good and fluid levels are correct etc etc so a huge sigh of relief for me. Saw baby moving around and trying to suck her thumb

I feel abit how you did Nicola after finding out the sex. On one hand I am really happy because it means my instincts were right and my mantra of "this is a different pregnancy" really fits but on the other it means I will now need to sort through Dexter's things and do something with them and also I kind of wanted Anthony to have a son that he sees grow up and I also wanted to bring up a boy and a girl.

I don't think it has helped me that my consultant (I actually got to see the right consultant today) has now told me that he strongly advises that I have an elective c-section due to the fact that my previous scar is higher than normal due to the thickness of my uterus during the last section because I hadn't gone into labour it hadn't thinned out. He said that due to my age and scar and timing of last pregnancy there is a 1 in 10 chance of problems with scar splitting etc. This freaked me out as last apt I was told I could consider VBAC (by another doctor and given leaflets to read about it) and I had decided that is what I wanted and now the decision is out of my hands. I don't mind having another section it is just the frustration of different DR's and consultants telling you different things at every appointment. And although I think this will probably be my last pregnancy I am not sure what having a c-section means for future pregnancies other than I will definitely have to have a section. He also mentioned sterilization??

I also got told today that I should be taking vitamin D due to my BMI and probably should already have been taking it???? why don't all the doctors and consultants work in the same way and do the same things??

Lexi hope your scan went well too

 

[nicola ttc]

Congratulations Tracy!! Welcome to team pink
A section doesn't mean you can't have any more babies, just that it will definitely be an elective section. I'm on my 5th....the main risk is uterine rupture where the scar is if you start contracting strongly which is why they schedule the section for 38 weeks.With every section the risk goes up but even after 4 it's still pretty low. Hope that helps!
How did your scan go Lexi?

 

[dextersmum]

Thanks Nicola

I know having a section doesn't mean no more babies it is just that I am 41 this year and they told us to wait 6 - 12 months after having Dexter before trying again so I am guessing it will be the same after the 2nd section. I am getting it into my head that it is about safety for me and jellybean. My consultant mentioned a week before my due date not 38 weeks but I am sure we will discuss it again in another of my 4 weekly appointments lol

Alex good luck with your scan tomorrow let us know how you get on.

Jellybean is definitely having a busy movement day and I am feeling stronger movements. She gave me 3 big kicks last night but stopped when her dad put his hand on my stomach

 

[_Lexi_]

Hey, we're also team pink!! Scan was brilliant. Really clear. She had a trainee in with her so was a really long scan as she was pointing out every tiny detail everything's looking fine at the moment, and we've just announced on facebook finally. x

 

[dextersmum]

Lexi congratulations on being team pink how do you feel about it being a girl??
So happy that your scan went well and they spent lots of time looking at the baby. What due date did they give you?
It looks like I will have my pink bundle before the 17th June with now having a planned section. Did you consultant saying anything to you about having a natural birth or c-section?

Have you decide names I can't remember from earlier conversations on here??

 

[_Lexi_]

My due date hasn't changed, so still 19th June. My consultants really happy for me to have a vbac as long as everything continues to go smoothly. He said the risk of uterine rupture is very slim, but I'll need intermittent monitoring, which means I can still labour in water, but won't be allowed to birth in water. I'm kind of relieved it's a girl, as means we wont be comparing to them to Joshua the whole time. Even went and bought some pink clothes today. We think we're going with Jessica Lily, but not 100% yet. We loved the name when I was pregnant with Joshua, so not sure if it's right to use that name or not. How about you?xx

 

[dextersmum]

Jessica Lily is a lovely name and I think it is nice to have it even if it was a girls name you picked when pregnant with Joshua. The name we have so far is also a name I liked for a girl when pregnant with Dexter.

So far we have Lexi Beth Walters. Elizabeth is my middle name but I have alway liked Beth so it is a compromise with hubby to have some of my name as Lexi's name as Dexter had John has his middle name with is hubby's middle name. But who knows we might change our minds lol

Lexi is having a quiet day so far as not much movement felt yet but she was very active yesterday so she must be having a rest. She is probably hiding in the back somewhere as I am screaming at the dog this morning as he is being a pain lol

 

[_Lexi_]

We chose Lily as my grandma was Elizabeth, but everyone called her lily, and Elizabeth is my mums middle name, we just thought Jessica Elizabeth is a bit long. Lexi is only my nickname, my names Sarah, but I do love the name. We considered it, but my best friend is Alexandra, and everyone calls her lex, so would be a bit much!!

We're unsure on surnames. Joshua had nine, but me and my oh were going through some problems during my last pregnancy and I thought I was going to be a single mum for awhile. Also, he's divorced, and has two boys with his ex wife, and a daughter from a relationship before that, the three children and his ex wife all have his surname. I just feel that unless we're engaged and I know we'll get married, this baby should have my name too. I hate the thought that eventually, Joshua will be left out being the only one with my surname. I also don't know how easy it is to change a child's surname!! So confusing!! x

 

[sweetbuthyper]

Its easy to change surnames lexi, i changed mine after i left my ex husband as i hated having his name even tho i was double barrelled.

https://www.deedpoll.org.uk/CanIChangeMyChildsName.html is how its done in the uk.
slightly more long winded for a child than an adult but definatly not too difficult if thats the way you want to go

 

[MizzPodd]

Atomic my due date is May 21 although I've already been told I will be induced at 39 weeks if I get that far.

Scan and appt with MFM went good. She said I am maxed on everything as far as the docs helping me keep baby in. So now it's just a wait and see. Still get shots weekly and will have next appt feb 26 when I'm 28 weeks
Baby scan was good. Baby is 1 lb 8 oz! And growing right on time so I'm thrilled that I won't need a lot of appts before feb 26 no poking and prodding for awhile.
Also stich is tight and closed... Cervix short of course but stitch should hopefully hold until 36 weeks.
She said I'm still at extreme high risk for early labor but hopefully I will get to the late 30s weeks.
As far as my pre e, she said as long as my bp stays normal, I should be okay but if it starts getting high, they will want to induce right away. But I think I'm good with bp because it was mild with dd1 too

 

[dextersmum]

sarah I remember you telling me before that Lexi wasn't your name

isn't it funny that we are both using the same middle name but different variations

what are your surnames couldn't you do double barrelled??

Mizz glad your apt went well what does MFM mean? my little Boy Dexter was only 1lb 10oz when born so I can't wait to be told this baby girl is bigger than that at one of my apt's although they have never mentioned weight before so I might have to ask.

On the subject of weight ladies are you being weighed at any of your apts? I have only been weighed at my first 2 consultants apts when they needed to know my weight for the fragmin injections I am taking. I have no idea what weight I have put on in fact I lost a few pounds the second time I was weighed lol should I get weighed at my midwife apts?

sweet how are you doing hun?

Alex hope your scan went well today let us know when you can

I can't believe it is friday already this week seems to have passed quite quickly I hope the next 18 weeks pass quickly too

 

[amjon]

sarah I remember you telling me before that Lexi wasn't your name

isn't it funny that we are both using the same middle name but different variations

what are your surnames couldn't you do double barrelled??

Mizz glad your apt went well what does MFM mean? my little Boy Dexter was only 1lb 10oz when born so I can't wait to be told this baby girl is bigger than that at one of my apt's although they have never mentioned weight before so I might have to ask.

On the subject of weight ladies are you being weighed at any of your apts? I have only been weighed at my first 2 consultants apts when they needed to know my weight for the fragmin injections I am taking. I have no idea what weight I have put on in fact I lost a few pounds the second time I was weighed lol should I get weighed at my midwife apts?

sweet how are you doing hun?

Alex hope your scan went well today let us know when you can

I can't believe it is friday already this week seems to have passed quite quickly I hope the next 18 weeks pass quickly too

MFM is a maternal fetal specialist/ perinatologist. They normally work in conjunction with a regular OB as they don't normally do delivery. I have both an OB and MFM (though I see the MFM FAR more and will throughout the pregnancy). The MFM usually has the most up to date equipment. I know my insurance pays $600 per appointment, so they are very expensive.
I've been weighed at every appointment by all of my doctors, but they haven't really mentioned anything about it except to tell me to gain 30lbs near the beginning (but don't really see that happening as I'm still down 4lbs).

 

[sweetbuthyper]

I'm doing really well sickness seems to have returned tho so finding it hard to eat which would be fine but if i miss a meal i pass out so making my self eat.

My scan is tuesday so hoping the next few days pass quickly, so i can see bean is ok.

bean is only really very active at night at the moment at 11 to 1 in the morning but i am feeling at least one kick every few hours so all good.

As for being weighed i'm weighed at all my appointments seems to be hospital policy to weigh at clinic appointments and midwife is just carrying it on when i see her, although they may have a heart attack when they see my weight drop next week as they weighed me with big winter boots on so i gained like 2kg i'm weighing at home as well coz i'm nosy and i've not gained anything i paniced a bit when i saw i'd gained 2kg before checking at home and realising it was just my boots adding the weight i usually take my shoes off when they weigh me i just couldn't be bothered to fight to unlace my boots.

last timne i weighed i was still down 4lb on my start weight. anyways back to the question unless you start off over weight i don't think its uk policy to weigh at midwife appointments that said i was only weighed at clinic appointments and not midwife ones when i was pregnant with Nathaniel so it probs varies from area to area. If your concerned you could always ask to be weighed i'm sure they wont mind.

 

[dextersmum]

thanks for the explanation Amjon. I can't believe how much they charge for appointments. What do you do if you don't have insurance? Does your insurance go up when you have had baby loss etc? I am so glad we have free NHS I know I moan about the lack of consistency with my consultant appointments but at least its free and I get my perscriptions free with a maternity exemption certificate I have had one for over a year know and this one runs out next June so get free dentist apts to.

Is anybody craving anything at the moment? I am loving bacon flavoured crisps. I am really missing prawns and medium rare steak and runny eggs lol. I am sat watching my husband drinking a big glass of wine (I have actually just stolen a sip whilst he is out of the room) I told him he should only be drinking and eating what I am allowed to and me supporting me whilst pregnant he just laughed at me.

I said to hubby tonight that Miss Lexi Beth had been quiet today and he looked at me strangely and said what did you say? When did we agree the middle name??? seriously he is driving me mad not listening we have had several conversations about and I even mentioned it too him straight after the scan yesterday when we found out jellybean is a girl??

sweet my sickness returns but I don't think I have had it as bad as you as it has never stopped me eating lol