Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)

[MizzPodd]

Sweetbuth- don't know if you read my post from a while ago but I got the stitch at 23 + 2 days becuz of cervix being 1 cm dilated 2.0 cm long, plus funneling.... Well I am 25 weeks exactly today and everything is still good. This was the last resort and they literally sprung this on me last minute. There are so many success stories with women who have gone full term that's what I plan on doing. Mine gets removed at 36 weeks. So please don't worry sweetie... I think I would be having pre term labor again right now if it wasn't for the stitch. they want me to get to at least 28 weeks and that's my current goal. And I just started feeling happier about pregnancy now that I'm 25 weeks and I'm sure you will too! just try to relax and think about the positive stuff and they caught it at a great time too, so your chances are extremely high that the stitch will be a success.

 

[MizzPodd]

For me it's a date I'm dreading my Chrisna Arianna was born on July 5th at 1am and I was in labor from the morning of July 4th. Being from US that's a big holiday celebration for most but for me that's something I will never look at the same again. I dislike that holiday and won't be celebrating it. I will be celebrating my daughters angelversary... My hubby agreed that it will be a quiet day for just us in celebrating her.
It's a week after my moms wedding date and its all overwhelming becuz I'm expected to be happy for her and act like nothing's wrong but of course I will thinking of my angel! Oh it's all confusing!

 

[amjon]

Is anyone else's DH showing anxiety? DH was crying when he was here this weekend and I finally got out of him that he's worried about the boys. He doesn't have the reassurance of feeling them kicking (or for the past month going to the U/S). I tried to assure them if they are kicking me they are fine (and I go to both my OB and MFM this week).

 

[sweetbuthyper]

my husbands worried but he has a reason to be with me going into surgery tomorrow

 

[Springflower]

Sweet, i hope the stitch has gone in fine and you arent too uncomfortable.

Amjon - My oh is nervous but he's hasn't cried. He's only really cried once and thats when we lost Marnie. But I know he's just as frightened as me.

Mizzpod - Its so difficult when our milestone dates are on special days. We are the same, although for us the girls were brn on valentines day. So it's not a celebratory day where everyone is out having fun, but I get the "warm up" for ages before hand with all the cards and ads on the telly.

No real news to report from my end. I'm now 28ws, last night and today have been feeling really crampy. Trying to remain calm and telling myself its normal.

 

[_Lexi_]

Today is Joshua's 1st birthday. We got drenched in a hail storm when we went up to his tree at the crematorium. We've left him a train set and some balloons, and some fresh flowers. Been a very emotional day. Missing him so so much. I'll come on properly and read through posts in the next day or so. Tomorrow, (or just gone midnight tonight, 12.27am) is the time that Joshua grew his wings and left us. x

 

[Springflower]

Hey Lexi

I saw your other thread. I'm so sorry hunny, big big hugs. I haven't gone through a 1st birthday yet but I'm sure it's very painful.

Thinking of you and your family.

xxx

 

[Krippy]

Thinking of you Lexi~! Happy Birthday Joshua!

 

[dextersmum]

thinking of you Lexi (sorry I wasn't online yesterday) it sounds like you did some lovely things for Joshua's birthday and I bet he and his friends are looking at his new train from the clouds. I hope today is as gentle as it can be - 2 tough milestones to get through

Amjon, like Spring the only time I have seen my husband cry was the day Dexter passed and when ever I have a wobble and tell him I am anxious or worried he doesn't join me in the wobble he tries to say something to reassure me. I like you am telling hubby all the time when baby is kicking or moving and keep grabbing his had to feel my belly but as yet he hasn't been able to feel her. My hubby has gone to the other extreme and instead of saying he is worried about this baby he is talking about us having another one next year which has come as a complete shock as he always said he only wanted 1 more child when we first met - I am not sure if this is his coping mechanism not because he is worried about this baby but so there is another possible plan?? I think it is good that your husband has cried in front of you and opened up about how he is feeling because at least you can talk about it. It must be hard for him because you are not in the same state at the moment and he must having feelings about that too

Sweet I hope everything goes well in your surgery. Do you have to stay in hospital once you have had it done? from what I saw on a birthing programme that I watch they are able to see on the scan where the stitch is and if it is ok so is that what they will be doing for you??

AFM I had really sore lower back pain yesterday think it was aggrevated by the massage I had because I hadn't done anything else strenuous the day before. Luckily I had a bump belt from the PGP clinic (it is a big piece of tubergrip) and it goes from my bum to my boobs and it made it bearable and really enhanced my bump lol. It has eased off a lot today but still have the bump belt on until the pain has gone completely. I will try to post a photo as I took another one

 

[sweetbuthyper]

hey guys i'm home now

suture was a sucess altho apparently my cervix was very short , its in now tho and the contractions i had yesterday are under control. I am quiet uncomfortable as i predicted due to my spine curve they had problems getting the spinal in it took 5 attempts and they were ready for putting me under when it finally took. I've stopped bleeding, have mild cramps but thats it fx all stays well

I am on progesterone supositorys and nifelexine sp? to keep the contractions under control. have to have my blood pressure checked daily by midwife altho thats not going so well yet as i couldn't get hold of her and when she rang back the doctors didn't tell her to ring my mobile as requested as the house phone is rubbish and dead, so i missed her call hospital is going to try getting her in the morning but i will also try.

being reviewed at my 20 week scan next tuesday and it should fx all being well stay in now till the 10th june

 

[dextersmum]

sweet glad you got your stitch in place fingers crossed everything will progress as it should do now and baby will grow big and strong and stay put until June.

I have been back to the doctors today I think I have thrush again. I am getting really fed up with having this it seems to be every couple of weeks so got another pessary and have to go back next week to check if everything is ok. Had a swab taken to check it is nothing else. Again so glad I get free perscriptions otherwise I would be skint lol

back is much better today so hopefully that episode has passed now

 

[dextersmum]

trying to add a 21 wk bump photo so hope it works. It might not be facing the right way but I am sure you can twist your necks to see it lol

ok it won't let me do it it keeps saying the file is too large even when I have sent it small from my phone?? any ideas how to do it

 

[nicola ttc]

Do you have photobucket Tracy? Send the pic to photobucket then where it says 'see links' click on the url one and it will save the link which you then copy in here. That's how i put mine on and is pretty simple on a phone or laptop. Hope that helps!
Sweet i'm glad the cerclage went well, fingers crossed now baby will stay cooking for quite a while longer.
Not much time for an update as it's school run time. I have been busy clearing out drawers and cupboards - think nesting is kicking in early as i really want to feel cleaned and tidied and prepared for her arrival - or for other people to manage here ok with the kids if i have to be in hospital for any reason. Just past experience telling me to get ready i guess.
I am getting lots of proper kicks and prods now which is lovely. I am even considering lending my doppler to a 9 weeks pregnant friend as i hardly use it now.
Right, off to get littluns now. Hope everyone is well.

 

[sweetbuthyper]

hey all i'm doing ok had a bit of a scare yesterday had some brighht red bleeding went to hospital and got checkd, stitch fine, baby fine and all the cramping i had before the bleed disappeared, they wanted me to stay in however they put me on the maternity ward full of ladys in early labour and i signed my self out, mainly because i felt the stress of being in out weighed any risks of me going home. It took them 3 hours to get a doctor to come see me by which time i had stopped bleeding for over 2 1/2 hours and an hour to get discharged, so i'd not had bleeding for 4 hours nearly when i left,

midwifes been this morning blood pressure slightly lower than usual but is fine, i really stressed with the hospital tho, i was ment to have heparin on the wednesday night, my chart says it was signed for but i never recieved it, asked midwife about complaints shes going to bring me a form but tried to fob me off with they were busy blah blah, and it will have had no effect, well hang on the consultant went to a lot of effort to find my drug card ect after surgery to prescribe the heparin in the first place, if it wasn't needed she wouldn't have bothered, just praying its not had an effect, and a bit teary about it really, i'm wondering if the bleed was because i lost a clot or something that shouldn't have been there midwife has said it wont be and any bleed will be from the cervix or womb ( which apparently if i stayed they would have checked which is bull as they planned to discharge me first thing anyways and mentioned nothing about a scan)

feel like they are trying to fob of me complaining as me just over reacting but anything could have happened if i had clotted and shouldn't have.

 

[dextersmum]

sweet so sorry to hear about your rough time at the hospital you should persist with your complaint because it is not good enough that they were busy if that is a drug you should have been given. Don't these people realise we have been through enough heartache and just wanted to be treated with some compassion. I hope everything settles down for you and you are able to relax a little and not have as many things to stress you out.

Nicola I have sent my photo as an email from my phone to my laptop and tried to add it as an attachment but it keeps saying flie is too large even when I make it smaller??

Glad your little pink bundle is giving you lots of kicks and prods Nicola I have days like that and the odd quiet day and today is a very quiet day so far so I am trying not to get freaked out I keep asking her to move. When I told my husband not sure if I had felt her move his answer was "its the weekend she is having a lie in" men really don't get it sometimes do they.

I have got bright red cheeks at the moment and they are burning. I get this sometimes does anybody else get it where their face is really hot??

right off to do some tidying and cleaning and hopefully jellybean will give me a few good kicks as I am doing it

 

[sweetbuthyper]

i get bright red hot cheeks usually when stressed or my temp is slightly high. I'm feeling a lot better now i have calmed a bit, have the same midwife who tried to fob me off tomorrow but then see the one i hate ( she fobbed me off then i lost nathaniel on monday) that should be fun luckly its just for a blood pressure check so should be quick.

 

[dextersmum]

sweet I am glad you are feeling calmer and better today. just take some deep breath's before the midwife arrives and tell yourself it is only for a quick visit.

I think I have felt some baby movements today but nothing really strong and I am trying not to get freaked out which is easier said than done

 

[amjon]

hey all i'm doing ok had a bit of a scare yesterday had some brighht red bleeding went to hospital and got checkd, stitch fine, baby fine and all the cramping i had before the bleed disappeared, they wanted me to stay in however they put me on the maternity ward full of ladys in early labour and i signed my self out, mainly because i felt the stress of being in out weighed any risks of me going home. It took them 3 hours to get a doctor to come see me by which time i had stopped bleeding for over 2 1/2 hours and an hour to get discharged, so i'd not had bleeding for 4 hours nearly when i left,

midwifes been this morning blood pressure slightly lower than usual but is fine, i really stressed with the hospital tho, i was ment to have heparin on the wednesday night, my chart says it was signed for but i never recieved it, asked midwife about complaints shes going to bring me a form but tried to fob me off with they were busy blah blah, and it will have had no effect, well hang on the consultant went to a lot of effort to find my drug card ect after surgery to prescribe the heparin in the first place, if it wasn't needed she wouldn't have bothered, just praying its not had an effect, and a bit teary about it really, i'm wondering if the bleed was because i lost a clot or something that shouldn't have been there midwife has said it wont be and any bleed will be from the cervix or womb ( which apparently if i stayed they would have checked which is bull as they planned to discharge me first thing anyways and mentioned nothing about a scan)

feel like they are trying to fob of me complaining as me just over reacting but anything could have happened if i had clotted and shouldn't have.

Have they put you on bed rest? The MFM told me that if you have a cervix that is shortening they put you on bed rest with the cerclage to keep the pressure off of it. If not, I would just put myself on it. It wouldn't hurt anything.

 

[amjon]

Thought I'd post an update. I've been feeling crap lately (think it may be the beginning of a sinus infection and just fatigue from carrying two babies). We had our 18 week appointments this week. The regular OB just did the really quick they have a heartbeat scan. The MFM did their first 20 week anatomy scan (had one at 14 weeks also) and got most of the measurements. Surprisingly Baby A was being very quiet and in a good position for most of what they needed. They're both growing and everything they were able to check looked good (still have a few things they didn't want to cooperate for to get in 2 weeks). Baby A is now the bigger baby by an ounce. Last time Baby B was an ounce bigger, so I'm a bit worried about him as they are now 8% different (they worry at 10) and last time he was 3% bigger. They are both bigger than average though at 8 and 9 ounces. DH will be home next weekend, so I am looking forward to that.

 

[sweetbuthyper]

amjon they haven't put me on bed rest i've put myself on modified bed rest tho. I only do stairs once a day, we have a toilet down stairs not on my feet longer than 10 mins at a time at the min and either sat or laid the rest of the time, i can't sit to long or i get pain anyways so that reminds me to change position.

they told me i could do everything and normal but i'd rather be safe, no baths, no sex, limiting showers (and getting a shower seat so i'm sat) and resting loads.