Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)

[dextersmum]

Hi Nicola glad you are at the 25 week point I know what you mean about feeling sad about Emily but it is a good thing that everything is going well in this pregnancy and I am sure baby will stay put for at least the next 10 weeks sounds like you need to put your feet up for a bit. I am not meant to hoover or mop due to pgp but the house was doing my head in on sunday so I started it and then told hubby I needed him to take over as my back was sore. Why don't men see what women see when the house needs cleaning

our baby will be called Lexi as it is the name that me and hubby agreed on and it was a name I thought of if Dexter was a girl. We have got a stensil with Lexi on for her room. I had to laugh as when we ordered the stensil hubby asked if we should get Lexi Beth but I said just to get her first name and only last week he said that we had only agreed on the first name?? We have been telling people what we are calling the baby if they ask only I have one friend who visited yesterday that has told me she does not want to know the name until baby is born and it was really hard yesterday because everytime she asked a question about the pregnancy or baby Iwanted to say baby's name as I call my bump Lexi now I am sure I will slip up and say it in front of her lol

Have you not decided on a name yet then??

Sweet I didn't realise you had fits either how long have you had them? are you still getting them during the pregnancy? Do you get any warning of them coming? I hope you get them sorted soon but in the meantime it will be nice for you to have hubby at home with you and still have some money coming in.

 

[sweetbuthyper]

They started the October after losing Nathaniel so have had then a year and 4 months now but it took a year to get to the treatment stage hospitals are slow, I sometimes Get warning but not often altho I have started to feel them coming on and can somtimes stop them I'm quiet lucky in that I don't tend to get them when in stood and if I do rarely fall or I fall in the least damaging way my brain still has some control so I will go to my knees then flat and haven't hurt myself with them very often,

I am still getting them with the pregnancy although they have calmed slot in the last 2 weeks since having the stitch think its because we now have a reason for loosing Nathaniel and its no longer unexplained I am down to 1 or 2 a day in the evenings only compaired to the 10 plus I had daily when I first started with them they are alsso shorter.

The main worry with them is I occosionally go into an altter persona with them mine being a 4 year old which worrys me for when the baby is here, however thru are also decreasing and the psych is concentrating on bring us as one so I have todo more fun things which in turn lowers stress levels eg painting and crafts hoping that they continue to decrease as treatment ect goes on.

 

[nicola ttc]

Ah Sweet thats a lot to deal with! I hope they continue to decrease for you.
Tracy i think Lexi Beth is such a sweet name. Elizabeth is one of our shortlist
We like Elizabeth, Heidi, Rose and Violet.
I had a dream that we had a chubby dark haired girl we wrapped in a blanket with pink rosebuds all over it so kinda like rose- roses seem like a good omen for us with this baby if you believe in that kind of thing, violet i think i said before is the 7th colour of the rainbow and will be my 7th child. Heidi i love and Nick likes Elizabeth- so one of those or those names in a combination. I like Heidi Rose.
Any thoughts ladies?!

 

[sweetbuthyper]

nicola - heidi roseis nice i like it
dextermum i like lexi and it works well with beth

we are debating on using alexander on the birth cert or not we will be calling bean xander but i feel like alexander give him more option as he grows up

full name ( unless oh changes his mind again ) is Alexander Anthony Keith - to be known as xander ( i may kill family if they try to call him alex)

oh is still not sure he likes xander but has agree to it

 

[nicola ttc]

I like the sound of Alexander Anthony Keith as a full name alltogether and i think you're right, it gives more options as an adult. Xander is lovely though.
I always said my Alexander would not be Alex but now i call him Alex more than anyone else!!

 

[dextersmum]

sweet that sounds like a lot you are going through with the fits and I really hope they can sort you out soon.

Nicola I like Heidi Rose it sounds nice together. Have you thought of Rosie that is a sweet name? is there a reason you have chosen Heidi does it have a meaning?

I think I have said before that Elizabeth is my middle name but I have always like Beth so am really hoping that we keep this as Lexi's middle name. We just had

Anthony felt Lexi kick for the first time last night so that is a lovely thing and must mean she is growing and getting stronger

 

[nicola ttc]

Ahh it's lovely when they can feel from the outside - was Anthony excited? You have been able to see my belly actually jumping for the last week or so!
No reason for Heidi, i just like it. Nick likes Rosie but theres a gypsy girl at tiegans school called rosemarie and her mum is always screaming rowwwwseeeeeeee across the playground and puts me off!
I like Casey, Elizabeth, Amelia and Darcie too but Nick dislikes all of the names at the moment. Seriously, he doesn't like any!! There's a few he thinks are 'ok' - mainly ones i don't like- it's driving me mad.
I went shopping today and got a few bits for baby. Finally made a start! Only bibs, muslins, vests and bits like that but it's something.

 

[sweetbuthyper]

thought i would post a new bump pics have made a progression one not sure i see a huge difference but there is some difference

 

[nicola ttc]

Definite difference Sweet! Lovely bump. It's a lot more rounded and bigger than the first pic now.
This is my 25 week bump pic from yesterday
https://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u620/nicolabird/20130219_103911_zpsc8b08928.jpg

So todays names suggested by Nick are
Rosie Rainbow (which he loves)
Cadence
Eden

he dislikes Heidi now.
I think we might just see when baby arrives as its stressing me out when Nick changes his mind every day. He also likes Amelie (pronounced Am -a -lee) but i think it sounds too much like Emily. He doesn't like Amelia which i thought might be a compromise.
Arrrrgh you must all be sick of me telling you new names every day!
How is everyone? Who has the next scan/appt coming up?
I'm 25+1 today, the gestation Emily was born at. Hard to believe that little person inside me now is as developed as Emily was.
Tomorrow is my birthday. 35 i don't feel that old, except when i've been out all day and really look forward to sitting down and having a cup of tea

 

[nicola ttc]

Spring how are you doing? You haven't been on for a while i hope all's ok.
I just noticed our genders go in a pattern on due date list. All boys so far, spring you are the first of the girls -then me!! Eeeek!!

 

[sweetbuthyper]

i'm all excited today coz i realised it is 2 weeks since my op and all is well and also because i have been able to drink my first cup of tea since i got pregnant and not throw it up... ah the simple things in life lol.

nicola your bump is cute hope you are coping ok today i'm dreading next week as i hit 22 weeks and when things started to go sour last time.

 

[nicola ttc]

Thats great that it's been 2 weeks and no problems . I'm sure it will carry on like that for many more weeks sweet.
I'm ok actually thanks. For me things started to happen from 20 weeksish with Emily and i had been in hospital nearly 5 weeks already at this point so feel positive that things are still going smoothly this time but still feel guilty that i couldn't carry Emily longer. and sad that she couldn't stay but then i think we all have those feelings from time to time in a rainbow pregnancy.

 

[Springflower]

Hey ladies - I'm still here just been busy.

Sweet - Oh my goodness those fits sound horrific! Must be very scary for you and your family.

Nicola - Congratulations on reaching 25+1. Its scary and strange going past the date isn't it? I feel the same. I love the name Eden, although of course OH doesnt.

Tracy - How are you? Lexi Beth is adorable I really like it! Lovely that your hubby felt her. Mine has only felt her once. He's always too slow getting to me and then is too quick to move his hand away!

AFM - The girls birthday was actually quite nice. There was tears but on the whole it was a good day. I'm relieved its over though. We had Indy's party on Sunday again it was mixed. I found myself welling up a few times. Couldn't help but think there should be two little girls opening their pressies.

I don't know it anyone else is feeling like this, but I'm finding it really hard to accept there is a baby in my tummy. I keep thinking, if something happens it wont be as bad this time because I don't "know" her. I'm sure I'm just trying to protect myself but it know its a bit wierd. I'm also avoiding going ou and seeing ppl. I just dont want to talk about this pregnancy. Please dont get me wrong, I'm so happy to be pregnant, I guess I'm just scared.

So today Im 30ws and offically a week further than I have ever got! Gaz was saying last night he cant believe we've got this far. So Nicola going by the front list, the next baby will be a boy, if the pattern continues! Cant believe I'm next. Thats truely terrifying!! Bump is giving me some lovely kicks as I write this!

What do people think of Lara or Cassie? I'm not sure. Cassie is lovely but it reminds me of something I might call my dog and Lara I really like but cant imagine using it.

I'm now focussing on the next date I have to get through, the date Marnie passed away. God I'm dreading it. Last year it was on comic relief I think then Mothers day was two days later. So utterly sh!T. I really want to keep that date safe just for Marnie so we can have a day thats just for her.

Right gotta go, am supposed to be working.

Lots of love to us baby growing mammas!

Right better get on with work.

 

[Springflower]

Nicola we have very similar bumps! Mine is just a bigger more outty now.

xxx

 

[nicola ttc]

:wave: hi spring.
I really like Lara but my niece is called Laura - which i also love - and i thought it was a bit too similar.
Out of those names i like Eden best too.
Can you post a bump pic?
Congratulations on reaching 30 weeks.

 

[dextersmum]

I wouldn't say Anthony was too excited Nicola as it was bed time lol he doesn't actually show much emotion so I could be wrong he might have been jumping up and down inside

I love feeling Lexi move and I think it would be really good for men to feel a baby move inside them don't you think.

Hi Alex it is good to read your update. How is baby's growth now? I prefer Lara over Cassie and I think you mentioned Lara Bay before which is lovely.
Its hard isn't it when you love a name and OH doesn't like it or you can't agree

nice bump pictures ladies I will have to try again to take one and post it on here as it hasn't worked so far.

Lexi has been moving nicely all week and it felt like she did a body roll last night just hope she behaves this weekend

 

[_Lexi_]

Hey. Sorry haven't been around. Been a tough couple of weeks with Joshua's birthday etc. hope everyone is doing ok? Lovely bump pics!! And happy birthday Nicola!!

Spring, I like the name Lara too. I'm glad the girls birthday passed gently for you. Well done on getting to 30w!!

Tracy, Lexi Beth is a lovely name, it flows really nicely.

Sweet, I managed my first cup of tea a couple of days ago as well!! I went off it before I even got my bfp, But just really fancied one!!

I've had a tough few weeks. Joshua's birthday was very simple. We took him some balloons and a little wooden train set:
https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/ducksdontquack/12F0BA3C-F08D-4284-9CED-2573A9B35E0C-1049-00000171A56DA23A.jpg
https://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y107/ducksdontquack/4AC77AC3-027B-4019-85B7-F2633F906746-1049-000001719B59D65E.jpg

A few people remembered and sent messages. It was too windy to release a lantern for him though

Not this Saturday just gone, but the one before, I started struggling with my breathing. By Sunday afternoon it was really bad, so I went into my walk in drs, which is also my proper surgery. They told me it was over an hours wait, but rushed me in within 5 minutes. After a consult with my nurse, who called my dr through, I was sent straight to hospital. They can hear a noise on my lungs and are concerned about blood clots. Whilst at the hospital I had an X-ray, ECG, ultrasound of my heart etc. they've diagnosed a heart murmur and a leaky valve, and are still concerned about a clot on my lung. I was told to wait for a senior cardiologist. We got there at 4pm, and by midnight I'd had enough. Me and Jon (oh) were both starving, all the restaurants were closed, we weren't even given a glass of water! The room was freezing as the heating didn't work properly, and it was snowing outside, and there was dried blood all over the floor and walls! At coming up to 1am, when they admitted they had no idea if the cardiologist was even still on shift, I discharged myself and we went home. My breathing still isn't right, but better than it was.

I have a very wriggly, active baby, and a growing bump. I'm bigger than I ever got with Joshua. He was also never this active due to the low fluid. At 23 weeks I feel pregnant. If that makes sense? It's reassuring, but we still don't know if Joshua's iugr was even linked to his problems, or just an unlucky coincidence. I have my next appointment next Tuesday though so should get an idea of how this ones growing.

I'm starting to get a bit nervous. My sil is due a boy in 2 weeks. I haven't held a baby, or even seen a baby boy, since Joshua. Its starting to sink in that they're going to expect me to go see him, hold him, and I don't know if I can. It's not something I'd even thought about, but it's beginning to terrify me.

To top everything off, my birthday this year falls on mothers day not looking forward to that one bit.

Sorry for rambling, again. Hope everyone is doing ok xxx

 

[LoraLoo]

Hi ladies, is it ok to join?

I just got my bfp today, Im still really early AF isnt due til Sunday.

So scared and nervous, we lost Eve at 5 days old and Alfie 18 weeks into the pregnancy, so the whole pregnancy (God willing) I can see being a nightmare stress-wise! How do you overcome that? xx

 

[dextersmum]

Hi Lexi

glad you have left a message I saw your thread on the 2nd tri forum about going to hospital with shortnes of breath and have been a little worried about you. Do you have any other apts to go and see anybody about your heart murmur??

We have the same problem with lanterns everytime we try to send one off to Dexter the weather is awful or it takes ages to do it. We had one of the balloons you have and sent that up to Dexter for his birthday.

Just do what ever you need to do when your SIL baby is born and don't put too much pressure on yourself. I have a step grandson who was born in November and I thought it would be hard to hold him but once I did it I was fine and now when I hold him or he cries Lexi kicks so it is a good thing at the moment.

Loraloo welcome to this thread and congratulations on your BFP. I am not sure how you overcome pregnancy stress to be honest other than coming on here and writing an email to share with us other ladies that understand what is going on for you as that helps me just knowing I am not alone if my thoughts and feelings so email as much as you need us please

I took my nieces to Mothercare with me and they made me spend over £50 on baby clothes as they kept saying look at this auntie Tracy or I like this auntie Tracy. So after treating them to lunch too I am skint now lol

Lexi is kicking away today can't wait until other people can feel her too

 

[amjon]

Lexi- I hope they find out what the problem is. Clots are scary. You may need the injections that some of us are already on.

We had our 20 week anatomy scan at the MFM this morning. They were running quite a bit behind and DH got a ticket on the way there, so he was in kind of a bad mood already. The boys are 12 and 13 ounces now. They checked my uterine arteries and said they looked great, so no sign of pre-e now (I'm sure they'll recheck it later). The boys were extra active and were in just about every position they could be. Baby A started breech and ended that way, but was transverse and vertex at different points as well. She said after our next appointment we'll be going to weekly (as long as I was comfortable with that), so that means from here on out I'll be to the doctor at least once a week (I have regular OB appointment next week). DH wasn't too happy about that, but I told him he can go to every other appointment if he wants. She said they'll do growth bi-weekly and BPP in between.