Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)

[dextersmum]

Lexi I am so upset reading your post you really don't deserve to be stressed at this time or to have to go through this again I wish I lived closer so I could come and give you a hug. Is there anywhere you can go or any family members that can help you. I hope you find somewhere to go soon so you can get out of this situation and I hope baby starts to wriggle about and give you comfort

Hey Nicola not seen you on here for a while but read on facebook you have had some nice days out How are you doing chick have you had any appointments recently??

Krippy how are you doing? how is motherhood?

Sweet I am craving cream cakes do you think that could be a calcium deficiency

 

[nicola ttc]

I'm good ta Tracy. Yeah, i met up with some friends from here this week which was nice. I hope we get to meet one day too.
I had a scan and consultant at 28 weeks which was all ok, next scan/consultant appts are at 32 weeks and a midwife appt next week. When will your next checks be?
Nick has gone to his friends for cheese and port night (so just an excuse to get pissed really) so i'm sitting here stuffing my face with chinese. Nom nom nom. hope you're having a good evening?

 

[dextersmum]

Hi Nicola I am good thanks when I get through tonight it means I have broken the 2 week pattern of bleeding and needing to go to hospital so fingers crossed everything stays as it is tonight. My next apt is also 32 weeks because I had a scan and apt this week I am not going to have my 28 wk one next week so I have to wait 5 weeks until the 25th April unless something happens in between which I am really hoping doesn't. Have you got your c-section date yet?

I had pasta for my tea and am now going to get a bowl of sugar puffs for super as that is what I got from tesco's instead of a cream cake lol

 

[nicola ttc]

Mmmm now i want a cream cake
Hope tonight passes with no problems, have my fingers crossed everything stays settled for you.
No, they won't book my c-section til much nearer the time because of the likelihood of me not getting to 38 weeks anyway. If, after 32 weeks, i am admitted for any problems, they will do a section then or schedule one sooner rather than kep trying to stop contractions. Baby is currently bum down too.
Do you have yours booked? I can't wait to have a date!!

 

[dextersmum]

I have my section booked for the 3rd June when I will be 38 weeks and I have put all details on my calender on my phone and it makes it all scary and real lol

so far so good this weekend with no bleeding so I think I have broken the 2 week pattern

we had about 4" of snow over night and our dog loves the snow so have just took him for a walk and run around on the field I am knackered and he has only managed to sleep for 10 minutes lol think I will leave him and hubby downstairs whilst I sneak upstairs for a nap. I have noticed that I am now a little more tired (doesn't help that I have broken sleep with things like trips to the toilet, pgp, or cramp) and my strong sense of smell is back and I am feeling nauseaus with different smells

 

[Maxparedesmom]

Hello was wondering if I can join in .. Lost my angel at 19 weeks 5 days 12/20/12 .. And just found out 2 days ago I'm pregnant with my rainbow I'm excited and totally nervous .. Have my first app in 3 weeks and I'm a little scared .. I should be due late nov
Not sure about the day.. Would love some nice ladies to talk to for support . U guys look great for that to me

 

[AwesomeSauce]

I would like to join you here as well. I lost a pregnancy at nearly 11 weeks due to blighted ovum, and right after that I carried my Sam for nearly 17 weeks. The pain of losing him was more than I ever imagined it could be. I am once again newly pregnant, and pretty much living in fear, bit trying to have faith. How did you get through the first half of rainbow pregnancy?

 

[nicola ttc]

Welcome ladies :wave:
Sorry for the loss of your angels but congratulations on your pregnancies!
The whole of pregnancy has been a scary time for me but i started to relax more the further on i have got. Those first few weks are tough but Tracy (dextersmum) has a mantra that i've stolen
'This is a different pregnancy'
Sounds so simple but when i've got really nervous telling myself this has really helped.
I got through a lot of my worries and bad days by talking to other lafies on here who just 'get it'. No neef to explain why you're having a bad day or struggling....
Always here for a chat or a

 

[dextersmum]

welcome Max and awesome the more the merrier for our group as being pregnant after a loss is definitely a testing time and as Nicola has said it certainly helps to have other people to talk to who completely understand where you are coming from if you are having a good day, a bad day or are some where in the middle.
I will not lie and say that being pregnant again has been an easy time for me but this forum has been a god send and we like to share and support and do what ever we can to get ourselves and each other through each day/week/month of the pregnancy.

Feel free to use my mantra of this is a different pregnancy and say it out loud or in your head because it really does help. Even when I have had similar events happen in this pregnancy that remind me of my last pregnancy I can often be heard saying "this is a different pregnancy and it is a different baby"

share with us what is going on for you and ask any questions and we will try to help

Tracy x

ps I have just had a nervous morning because Lexi usually moves between 6.30-7.30am and for once I was asleep during that time. usually I wake up just before. But this morning I woke at 5ish for a toilet trip and felt her move then and then managed to doze off and woke up again at some point felt her moving and thought it must be around 6.30am but didn't look at the clock and when I woke at 7.30am she didn't move again. Have felt the odd movement this morning but not as much as I have wanted so I have just been upstairs and listened to 10 minutes of my relaxation cd and felt her move several times and she is kicking as I am typing this so I can now have a relaxing sunday. Sometimes I know that stressing out is not going to make her move so I need to take time out to lie down, take some deep breaths and chill out and baby seems to love it when I do that lol

 

[AwesomeSauce]

Thank you Tracy. That is a mantra that I need right now. When I read it I cried. This is a different pregnancy and I must remember that. This morning when I woke up after a full nights sleep I panicked a little. I didn't have to get up to pee in the night and that always freaks me out. That has been the first sign that things are not ok for me. It is early, maybe this pregnancy this early I just don't have to pee three times a night. Every moment of every day I am praying for peace. I am struggling though. A lot.

 

[Maxparedesmom]

My husband tells me the same thing that I have to be happy for this Pregnancy and try not to make my self worry all the time .. I don't want to make my self so worried that I detach my self from this new baby because of what happened to my son..

 

[nicola ttc]

Maxparedesmom i really felt like i didn't let myself get attached to this baby at first, really it's only been the last few weeks that i feel i'm letting myself more. I think a few of us on here have felt that way but it does come i promise! For me it wasn't til after 25 weeks, the point when we lost Emily last time.
It is such a worrying time and sometimes it is only other angel mummys who can relate to how you're feeling. We're here to get you through it though.

 

[Maxparedesmom]

Yeah I'm going to be extra nervous around 20 weeks .. But I can only hope everything goes well and do my best to be healthy .. But I know it's Out of my hands so I try not to dwell on it to much and just enjoy being pregnant.. And god forbid something does happen I want to enjoy while I can

 

[nicola ttc]

Maxparedesmom i really felt like i didn't let myself get attached to this baby at first, really it's only been the last few weeks that i feel i'm letting myself more. I think a few of us on here have felt that way but it does come i promise! For me it wasn't til after 25 weeks, the point when we lost Emily last time.
It is such a worrying time and sometimes it is only other angel mummys who can relate to how you're feeling. We're here to get you through it though.

 

[dextersmum]

awesome and max will you be getting extra scans during this pregnancy as I have found that helped, although to be honest I have also been nervous before most of them too. Also did you get any counselling after losing your babies? if so it is a good idea to speak to your counsellor about how you are feeling during your pregnancy as it helps to talk to somebody. If that is not possible just come on here as often as you like and talk to us.

I wish I could tell you there is a magic and easy way to get through this pregnancy but I haven't found it. It is just a day at a time and on bad days an hour at a time with positive thinking, mantras and other people that understand and will listen and reply to a message. And a good cry when you need to. and don't worry if you are not always positive as that is normal

 

[AwesomeSauce]

awesome and max will you be getting extra scans during this pregnancy as I have found that helped, although to be honest I have also been nervous before most of them too. Also did you get any counselling after losing your babies? if so it is a good idea to speak to your counsellor about how you are feeling during your pregnancy as it helps to talk to somebody. If that is not possible just come on here as often as you like and talk to us.

I wish I could tell you there is a magic and easy way to get through this pregnancy but I haven't found it. It is just a day at a time and on bad days an hour at a time with positive thinking, mantras and other people that understand and will listen and reply to a message. And a good cry when you need to. and don't worry if you are not always positive as that is normal

I didn't receive professional counseling after, but I did have a friend who had need through it before. Just her being around was invaluable for me, but our situations were slightly different, and I am wishing I had a real counselor to talk to. Today was just a really bad day for me. I cried a lot today. I told my husband what I was feeling, and he is sad that I am struggling, but he doesn't know how to help me. I am really grateful to have this place to share my real feelings and know that you understand why bad days happen. Part of me wishes I could be super happy and tell everyone I am pregnant, but if things end badly I can not handle the pitty looks so I have only told a handful of people.

 

[Maxparedesmom]

I am getting help I see a therapist . She says that me doing my volunteer work for (teeny tears and Molly bears ) is really healing for me . And I'm not sure if I'm going to be seen more I hope so Ill defiantly ask to be and if they don't want to watch me closer ill find another doctor that will . We pay there salerys why should I not get the care I deserve .. I had a horrible experience with my son max and I'm just hopping its better this time around. I'm only a little over a month and I've told everyone only becuase I know I need the support . I find it easier for everyone to know. Yes they will feel sorry for me and I can't stand it either but ill still need my friends and family to help me pick up the pieces and try again. I have a 1 1/2 year old that has really helped me through it ,but also I have a friend that's been thew it as well . I didn't really know her and her story till she found out I had lost my son Max. She reached out to me on Facebook saying If I ever needed a friend she was there. She is now one of my best friends and I talk to her every chance I get . But it's nice to have people to talk to yeah have had a loss and are pregnant again I'm truly thankful to just find wonderful women that share there stories and try to help others . I hope one day I will be able to share my story and help others

 

[AwesomeSauce]

I know that for me it is early to be getting sick, it seems like I haven't been sick until around 7 weeks, but I am curious. At what point did real pg symptoms kick in for you ladies?

 

[AwesomeSauce]

I thought about going in for a scan this Friday, but if things are bad I don't want to ruin Easter and my son's birthday, so I think I will wait until next friday if I make it that far. Next week is going to be really hard though. April 3 was Sam's due date.

 

[LoraLoo]

Hi Max and Awesome Congratulations on your pregnancies.

Sorry I havent been around much ladies, I feel a little bit lost at the minute. I had my first m/w appt on Sat and she is going to push my 12 week scan forward a bit so hopefully within the next 2 weeks.

Im trying to stay positive and the sickness is reassuring, but I feel really nervous about when i see the consultant. Id like a couple of extra scas for reassurance but ive never really been much good at being 'pushy', anyone got any advice with this? I did have extra with Amy even though Eve didnt die to anything pregnancy related, and I had extra with William but this was mainly because I had reduced amniotic fluid. xx