Rainbows after the storm (late loss/stillbirth/neonatal loss/sids)

[dextersmum]

Max what colour is the blood is it red or brown? when i was in hospital with my bleeds I would be worse in the morning because I had been resting during the night this is called pooling. if it is brown it is old blood and that is usually a good sign. i will keep my fingers crossed everything is okay for you. Please let us know how everything goes.

Sweet I can't believe you've been in hospital and had to have your stitch out I hope the baby stays port for at least another 10 weeks and everything goes well please keep us posted on how things are going. thinking about you. Did the consultant say what caused the early labour?

How is everybody else?

 

[sweetbuthyper]

dextersmum they found no cause for the contractions but i was bulging past the stitch when i arrive so the stitch had failed, unfortunalty its not uncommon and because i was contracting against it if they didn't remove it i risked tearing, still holding up on modified bed rest can potter but not allowed to do much or be on my feet long, have my own consultant instead of sheffields on the 9th so will see what she has to say about how things are going. It was all very scary i got blue lighted in the ambulence form doncaster hospital to sheffield as they were sure he was going to come ( took convincing at doncaster that they could move me as they wanted the stitch out straight away and wouldn't move me after it was out, managed to convince them it could stay till i got to sheffield as the contractions had started to die off, they started up again in the ambulence although weren't painful as i'd had pethadine), Doncaster aren't able to take babies under 27 weeks i was just shy of 26 when i went in. Midwife came out this morning hes head down at the min but not engaged, but he moves around so much he could be in any position within minutes. blood pressure and everything are fine, have been told any painful contractions or my waters go its a 999 call as if hes sideways as he has been and i go into labour it could be dangerous and he could come very quickly seen as i am already dilated.

that was a very lenghty explination lol but yeah we think the stitch just failed and set the contractions off due to the pressure on the membranes, good news is i'm now past 27 weeks and everyday is a bonus, steriods have been in my system over a week now, hes meassuring correctly on scans and hopefully as i was only 1-2 cm dilated on last check it is possible for my membranes to go back in and hold on til term or beyond.

 

[Maxparedesmom]

It is red in the morning and brown the next time I wipe after that. Happens just the once every morning then nothing after that, went and got checked today she said everything looked good cervix was closed and we saw the sac and a little flicker but to early to hear the heart beat . She measured me at 6 weeks witch is further then I thought , so just hoping every thing is ok .

 

[dextersmum]

Keeping my fingers crossed for you max that everything is ok when is your next appointment?

Afm I am suffering with pgp again and my hips and down the sides of my legs ache during the night when I am trying to sleep and then I have to get up early as it is uncomfortable to lie in bed but I guess it is preparing me for broken sleep and early mornings.
The clocks going forward has freaked me out a little bit as I was Really clear on lexis pattern but it changed a bit now because of the time difference but isn't as clear is anybody else like this?

 

[Maxparedesmom]

It's April 15 .. Everything is crossed for me ATM lol

 

[dextersmum]

hi ladies how are you all today?

I took myself off to antenatal day clinic at lunch time (after making a phone call) as baby had been very quiet all morning and I just wanted to get monitored. As soon as they put the monitoring belts on my she started to dance around and do all her morning wriggles in the 20 mins I was on the monitor. The midwife was lovely as I explained my history and told her I am now a paranoid pregnant lady and she said that is what we are here for and it is fine to come and check things out. She said Lexi is a tinker because she never stopped moving the whole time. And she has moved quite a lot this afternoon and so far this evening. The clocks going forward have really thrown me as I was really used to Lexi's timings and patterns but now they are out of sync. I mentioned this to the midwife and she said that if I am walking around when baby is moving it is in effect like I am rocking her to sleep.

Max hope the bleeding has stopped today.

Sweet hope you are having no more contractions and everything is quiet on the baby front apart from his movements

Nicola how are you?

Lexi how are things with you?

Alex how did your consultants apt go today?

 

[sweetbuthyper]

i'm good all quiet, keep getting parinoid coz i get to evening and think i've not felt him move mch but i know i have and we have been busy decorating ( mainly suppervising) but i notice him less when i'm busy. i still haven't really noticed a pattern to his movement i think its because he spins so much he can go from head to the left to head to the right in the matter of minutes so its hard to know where to expect movements.

 

[Maxparedesmom]

The bleeding stopped on mon morning and of course the husband took that as a song
To "play" lol and I bled a little After that last night but other then that it all seems good just hoping on the 15 we will hear the heart beat . Waiting kinda sucks lol

 

[amjon]

Hi everyone! We went to the MFM for a fluid check today. She has me worried now because she said even small spikes in blood sugar can cause the babies to become hypoxic and suffocate. Normally when people think of GD complications they think of baby being big, but apparently stillbirth is also a very big concern. She thinks that may have been the issue with Taylor. They never did an autopsy, but don't know if that would have shown up anyway. We're just about at the point we lost Taylor now, so I'll really have to watch my BS more closely. Glad things seem to be going well for most of you. Dextersmum Lexi sure likes to scare you doesn't she. My little monkey moves most of the time, so I know most of the time he is fine. His brother hides out in his placenta, so I rarely feel him.

 

[emnmaa]

Hi Emma :wave: good to have you here.
How are you feeling about things at the moment? I seem to go from calm and positive to absolute panic mode and back again about 10 times a day at the moment!
Do you have any names in mind yet?

Hello again. Sorry for taking so long to reply, been in bed most the week with one thing and another. Nothing serious, just really tired and getting sick of pelvic pain!

I'm doing mostly alright. Little man seems to know when I need some reassurance and starts doing his push ups or whatever it is he does in there just when I need to feel him. I'm finding it hard to convince myself that everything will be ok this time and that we will get to bring him home. What happened to Maya was exceptionally rare, but that doesn't alleviate my fears of what else could go wrong. I'm trying to keep myself busy with this and that so that the fear doesn't take over too much but I know what you mean about going into panic mode!
We do have his name all sorted and are working on an alternative just-in-case! We have Ayaan Deschain as out first choice and Derren [something] as our second choice. Ayaan is the boys name we had picked out for Maya, but we could never find a middle name that fitted until now

Today I'm waiting to not have a phone call from the hospital - I was there yesterday for my GTT. They will ring if they found I have GD but won't if I don't. Kinda weird to be waiting for a non phone call but meh! More crochet time!

I hope you're all doing ok. If Awesome is still reading here, I'm so so sorry for your loss to you.

Much Love,
Emma and boyby. xxxx

 

[dextersmum]

Amjon Lexi moves most of the time and gives some big movements too which is why on wednesday when I wasn't feeling her as much and when I did it felt weaker that is why I went to get checked out and that is what I will continue to do until she is here safely I don't care how many times I go to the hospital because they keep telling me to ring any time as that what they are there for/

I am sure you are on top of your bs amjon just keep a close eye on it now you have been given the new information.

The things we have already gone through should be enough instead of having issues in this pregnancy too so sending you a virtual hug.

Emma I know exactly how you feel every little thing is a worry and can cause panic mode the trick is to try and not stay in panic for too long which of course is easier said than done.

Have you got PGP Emma? is that what is causing your pelvic pain

Well Lexi has been giving me so big kicks and punches today which has been great and very reassuring and I really don't understand people (usually people on facebook who haven't lost a baby) who complain about a baby kicking them because it is one of the best feelings in the world when you are pregnant

 

[_Lexi_]

Hey, sorry I've been a bit awol recently. Can't believe I'm almost at 30 weeks!! With Joshua they were talking about delivering from 26 weeks, so it's nice not having the same stress. I had my 28w scan a week late on Thursday. Everything is looking great! She's on the 73rd percentile for growth and already weighing in at an estimated 3lb 1oz! It's hard to believe that she's already bigger than Joshua was when he was born. All my fluid levels are perfect, which was also an issue last time. Even though everything is looking good, I still can't relax though. Because we lost Joshua to a never seen before genetic disorder, they have no idea if all our problems during pregnancy, were even linked to what was wrong when he was born. It could all of been a coincidence. It's so hard.

My nephew was born last week. I haven't seen of held a baby since Joshua. I went round my brothers and managed to hold Jacob for an hour and feed him a bottle. It was so weird, and very emotional and difficult, but I'm proud if myself that I managed to do it.

I just miss him so much. People lie when they say it gets easier with time. It never gets easier, you just learn how to function with the grief. x

 

[Springflower]

Hey Lexi - Lovely to hear from you. I've been thinking of you, is everything better with your oh? What you said about grief is so true. It doesnt get easier we just have to find a way of living with it.

Welcome Emma We have a nice little gang here!

Amjon - How are you doing?

Tracy - So pleased to hear Lexi has been kicking away, can she have a word with my bump?

AFM, I'll be 27ws on Wens. C section booked for 29ws if bump hasnt come before that. So, so close now, just got to hang on a little longer....

 

[dextersmum]

Hi Lexi its lovely to hear from you and am so please baby is doing so well. Baby loss is definitely a hard journey and certainly something we have to learn how to get through. sometimes I think people think we are ok because we are pregnant and have another baby due but it certainly doesn't work that way. How are things at home for you?

Spring I think you have a typo in your update as I am sure you are 37 weeks not 27 weeks now so not long for you and Dot now. have you decided on a name or are you waiting to see what she looks like? Have you managed to stop Indya's night feed?

Sweet how are you doing? I hope your silence for the last few days is because you are resting and nothing else??

Nicola how are you doing? When is your next appointment? Have you and Nick decided and agreed on a name yet?

Amjon how is your blood sugar? I had my GTT test at end of March and haven't heard from the hospital which means I haven't got GD which is a good job as I have eaten enough birthday cake for 4 people today it was so nice I kept getting more lol

Max how are you doing now?

Emma how are you?

I have been really tired today and suffered with a headache quite a bit of the day. Went for my whooping cough injection and asked the nurse to check my blood pressure which she said was fine. My arm is hurting now where I was injected and I can't really lift it as high as usual. Did any body else have this injection and suffered with arm pain?
I feel like my bump has come on all of a sudden. I went to try and get some new maternity clothes yesterday and felt like I looked like a sack of spuds in all the tops they had no shape. It doesn't help that I am having to wear nursing bras due to the size of my boobs and they are not underwired so I feel like my boobs sit on my stomach I went and bought an underwired bra just to wear on the odd occasion as I know they say not to wear underwired bra's if you are planning on breastfeeding

 

[sweetbuthyper]

dextersmum i'm good been busy nesting getting babys room sorted very tired today as had to go to jobcentre and council to sort all benefits out and bean decided to be low and give loads of pressure all day, i'm fine now i fell asleep for 3 hours tho. Still nervy at any twinge but have consultant tomorrow not sure what to expect really as its all changed since i made my appointment but will see what they have to say.

I've come of my cyclogest now which has lessened i think the itching a little but it's still driving me mad, don't really want to resort to antihistamanes but may have to gonna speak to consultant about it tomorrow as its only at night and keeping me awake. the cream i have is healing up the cuts but not taking the itch away.

I think i have popped some more i seem to be growing my bump rather quickly at the min not sure if its a side effect of the steriods but will attatch a pic of my 27 week bump i'm bigger now already tho.

Bra wise i can't stand any at the min makes me to warm that then leads to itching i only have one on to go out now which isn't to often. I have my gtt on thursday and my whooping cough vac on friday.

 

[Springflower]

Whoops! Yes, I'll be 37ws tomorrow not 27ws Yes Indy's night feeds have now stopped and in the last day I've weaned her fully onto cows milk which will make things easier for family looking after her while we've in hospital. We were hoping for crawling/walking but doesnt look like she'll be doing either before Dot arrives. Very worried about how I'll physically coppe lifting her after the c section as she's very heavy now, but hey ho, it'll work out in the end.

We have a short list of names so will wait and see what she looks like when she comes out.

Very common and normal to have a sore arm for a couple of days after the whooping cough jab. It was annoying because I then only had one side to sleep left.

Sweet - Thats a lovely bump! Sorry to hear the itching is still so bad htat must be horrible, but yeay for nesting! We really need to get a move on with that!

Lots of love to all.
xxx

 

[sweetbuthyper]

Well my consultant appointment was interesting, they didn't have my notes when i arrived then they found them but apparently sheffield haven't told them anything about me being there and they have no record of which confused me as doncaster transfered me in the first place, now waiting for a phone call from the hospital as they were getting sheffield to fax through my notes, as i had my stitch removed but they have no record in doncaster of it being removed not sure why they need to ring me i know it was removed but will see what they say when they do ring, have to have blood tests for the itching and managed to get in with the midwife this afternoon to get that sorted, they have put me back on cyclogest til 32 weeks and i am in for a scan of my cervix lenght and fluid levels in two weeks. I'm confused tho, as on last check i was 2cm dilated so what are they looking for on the cervix lenght scan surely there is no lenght i'm dilated???

so all in been an intresting morning.

 

[nicola ttc]

Sweet that sounds a bit of a farce at the hospital! You'd think they would trust that you know the stitch has been removed
Not sure what they'd be looking for at a cervix scan and you'd think they would leave things down there alone now the stitch is out and with everything else you've had going on.
Spring happy 37 weeks and full term!
Lexi i'm glad to hear everything is going well with bubs and she is growing big and strong.
Tracy i agree- baby kicks are the best feeling ever!
I hope you found some materniy tops that fit nicely! I haven't been offered the whooping cough jab. Not sure why. hope your arm feels better today.

I hope everyone else is well.
I've not been on as much lately, school holidays are a busy time here! We had our 32 week scan yesterday and bubs estimated weight is 4lb - the same as Edward weighed at 32+2 when he was born. I have horrendous heartburn now and can't lean down to do anything without getting sick. pretty much living on gaviscon and rennies. Baby is bum down and her head right up in my ribs too.
Here's my 32 week bump pic.
https://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u620/nicolabird/20130407_211105_zpsc041b9fc.jpg

 

[dextersmum]

Sweet great bump pic sorry you have still got the itching but hopefully the blood test will give an indication as to what it is. I agree with the other ladies your hospital visit does sound like a farce and it is so annoying that hospitals do not share notes or that they did not give you a copy of your notes for your green file so you could carry them around. I hope you get everything sorted and both hospitals know where you are upto.

Nicola your bump looks fab I will have to try and take a photo only hubby has moved the long mirror off the wall so I will have to ask him to hold it up lol.
By the way I wasn't so much offered the whooping cough injection I just knew that they offered it free to pregnant ladies and so I mentioned it too my midwife who told me to contact my doctors surgery and ask them about it so it might be worth you doing that.

Alex I bet it feels better saying you are 37 weeks instead of 27 weeks

I think we have finally decided on the pram we are getting as I took Anthony to look at the weekend and then went back with my mum and sister. We are going for the Uppababy Vista travel system. We are lucky because my mum and dad buy it for us. It is nearly double what we paid for Dexters pram but that pram is not being made any more and we can find anything close to the price we paid.
Have you all decided on the pram or bought it yet?

 

[sweetbuthyper]

hey well hospital haven't phoned so i assume they still don't have my notes as long as they have them for my next appointment i'm not to fussed i know whats happening its just they don't felt very surreal in my appointment calming the junior doctor down who was in a flap as she didn't know what to do, but we are still calm i'm still cooking and everyday is a bonus the doctors all just seem to be confused by the fact i'm still pregnant and haven't gone into labour yet, but hey thats a good thing hopefully i can go to term and really confuse them.

We have brought our pram its sat by the back door no where else for it to live and wanted to get the dog used to it so she doesn't try to knock it over, We got the phil and teds navigator in the end with added carrycot, parents paid as it was on sale just have to pay them back when we have the money.

Went to midwife this afternoon she did bloods for me so if anything is wrong should find out tomorrow, asked about piriton i need a prescription so asked at reception and they said they'd sort it but will be thursday before its ready, but at least i should be getting it.