rant alert, sorry just had to get this out!

[lou_lou1979]

Sorry just had to get this rant off my chest.
This was going to be our last Christmas as a couple and we wanted it to be as stress free as possible, and special.
I'm 7m pregnant now, with a cold and feeling run down from low iron
OH also has a stinking cold
Had two of the in laws over and I'm really mad because they showed absolutely no consideration for either of us the whole time.
MIL did not lift a sodding finger the whole time. Then had the sodding nerve to complain about back pain yest to a pregnant woman. I felt like saying "maybe its because you had sat on that sofa and had lunch dinner and tea brought to you all the live long day". Maybe if you got off your fat arse and helped us with the dinner, washing up or just offered us a sodding cup of tea, your back wouldnt be so stiff.
Then on Christmas Eve the two of them had an argument at the top of the stairs about money as SIL expected someone to pay for her taxi home, despite the fact that me and my OH had put on a full Christmas lunch and run round like headless chickens the whole time.
MIL is leaving this morning and I have to say I'm counting down the hours because I AM FUMING! I would never behave like this in someone else's home.

Even if my OH goes to visit MIL, she behaves exactly the same way and doesnt lift a finger. He drives 250 mile to see her then makes dinner for her and himself and does everything. She is not elderly, she is not disabled, she is not ill so why the hell is she like this!
Sorry, this has been boiling up in me over the past 3-4 days so had to let it out somewhere because of course OH wont hear a bad word said. GRRRRRRR!

I'm really annoyed, and actually also quite hurt, as I feel OH has been treated as a dormat by them and that they dont give a rats arse about me, I'm just the incubator clearly.

I know MIL thinks she will come to our house when baby comes home in Feb/March and stay for a week but I know she wont lift a finger and will expect her meals to be put in front of her as usual. I've already told OH that I dont want any house guests when baby arrives and have had to make up an excuse so we cant use the spare room (I've put a nursing chair in there). I think i would probably kill her, it is taking all my willpower not to say something right now. I think if she says "she you in February" this morning I'll have to say "yes, see you then - there's a nice premier inn down the road"!!!

 

[booflebump]

Has she acted like this before?

I think if she does come to stay in February - there would be no way in hell I'd be feeding her. She will soon get the idea! x

 

[lou_lou1979]

yes she has always acted like this but I thought, stupidly, that she might be different this time considering that I was 7m pregnant and OH was clearly suffering with a cold.

I wont feed her but then OH will and he runs around her like she is an invalid. It really annoys me to see him treated like a dormat.

30 minutes to go and counting....

 

[lou_lou1979]

and as I dont want OH doing everything, I say "sit down honey you have just cooked dinner, you shouldnt be running around and making people drinks now". Even then neither of them get the hint and they let me get up and do the washing up and make them tea etc.

 

[billybump]

Honey they sound horrid. I really hope that you get some peace and quiet now that they've hopefully gone. Sending you big hugs x

 

[IvyBaby]

Geez, if they come over when you have the baby, why don't you just ignore them or pretend to be super busy with the baby, so they would have to fix their own dinner if they are hungry... I think it should help if you talk to your OH about how he feels about the whole thing.. hugs!

 

[BabyHaines]

Oh honey, you poor thing I can sympathise though. You could both adopt the attitude that we do and just think 'bollocks' (Sorry....!!) to the lot of them!! It's your home, so why the hell are they being like that. You need to be strong and tell your OH right away that they are NOT welcome to stay when bubs arrives, or else you'll go spare and you don't need the stress.
Lazy people do my head in.
It takes guts, but maybe you should try asking for help? 'Erm...soandso, would you mind drying up if I wash??' that type of thing? Then spend the next ten minutes saying how being pregnant is heavy going and you feel so tired etc, etc, maybe then they'll get the hint??
Oh.....and tell your SIL to walk!! Grrrrrr!!xxxx

 

[lou_lou1979]

Thanks guys.

I think you are right - I'll need to ask her directly to help out next time she descends upon us. I dont mind her visiting at all, its the five day stays in our home without lifting a finger that I cant handle!