Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[jessicatunnel]

I decided to log Lilly's night wakings last night so here is what I got:
I went to bed at 10:03pm.
Lilly woke up for a bottle at 11:08pm.
Then woke again at 11:57pm for reassurance/settling.
Then woke again at 4:30 am for bottle.
Then woke at 5:55am for reassurance/settling.

Then slept until 9am!

Oh, and she woke about three times before I went to bed for some reassurance/settling, so all in all from the time she went to bed to the time she woke up she woke up 7 times. Yeahh, that's about normal for us. HAHA.

So I got a good 4.5 hour stretch of sleep from 12-4:30am! YAAAAAAAY! That has been more than I've gotten in a long time. Going to log her wakings again tonight.

She just went down at 7:30pm for bed. A little later than normal because we were out all day and she had her last nap at 4:20pm today.

 

[jessicatunnel]

Just wanted to warn all of you tired ladies, be extra careful if you're driving tired. I crashed my car last night, with my LO in it I drove right into someones house just by mistaking the accelerator for the brake. Ugh. I felt like SUCH an idiot. Everyone is fine but it really shook me up

Noelle, I hope you have had a wonderful rest. Do not feel guilty about it at all, you're doing a great job and you deserve this

Omg, I'm so glad that everyone is okay, that's so scary!

 

[Boo44]

Soooo basically my question is - how much day sleep does he *need* and does he need 3 naps? If so, what time do u think I should aim for his afternoon one? My mum tells me he doesn't need it and he'll sleep better but I don't really agree. Hmmm...

If I remember correctly, according to Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, they need 3 naps up until 6 months or so? Naps are best if they are 1 1/2 hours in length, but anything over 1 hr is good (and sometimes a 45 min nap is ok as well) The pediatrician in that book also says unless you are trying to make a schedule, don't wake the baby, because it encourages broken sleep

Thanks! But he has a bottle around 3.30pm every day. So by the time this is over etc he can't take his third nap until 4.30pm at the earliest and often not until 5. And im concerned that this late nap could be the reason why he's waking early in the mornings (all i have to suggest this is that the day he mjssed it he slept until 7.30am maybe a coincidence)

If I didn't wake him after half an hour it would run into bath/bed time which would definitely affect his night sleep. But if I miss it all together he'd need to be awake from 3ish til half 7 bed!! Help!

 

[polaris]

Soooo basically my question is - how much day sleep does he *need* and does he need 3 naps? If so, what time do u think I should aim for his afternoon one? My mum tells me he doesn't need it and he'll sleep better but I don't really agree. Hmmm...

If I remember correctly, according to Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, they need 3 naps up until 6 months or so? Naps are best if they are 1 1/2 hours in length, but anything over 1 hr is good (and sometimes a 45 min nap is ok as well) The pediatrician in that book also says unless you are trying to make a schedule, don't wake the baby, because it encourages broken sleep.

For me, I don't do it the same time everyday exactly, but that's because Lily wakes up at different times. She always goes down for her first nap at about 2 hours after she wakes up (sometimes 1 1/2 if she starts to get cranky then) But bear in mind I have to start winding her down before that time.

Anyway Lily is a bit strange, loves to take a 45 min nap, so sometimes she takes 4 naps! But if she doesn't then she will NOT sleep very easily at night. I think you have to do what works for your kid, so if yours likes 3 naps, keep it up until it no longer works!

I found this chart quite useful as well in relation to average sleep needs, number of naps, etc. Although Clara likes to go to bed much earlier than the average bedtimes on this chart.

 

[Button#]

MiniKiwi - that must have been so scary, hope you are both ok.

Ashley actually had a really good night last night. He woke up at 11pm and 4am for feeds and he was really easy to settle afterwards. Then he didn't wake up until 7am.

 

[jessicatunnel]

Alright last night wasn't so good. Neither one of got a solid two hour sleep at all last night. She woke up every 1.5 hours from the time she went to bed to the time she woke up for today. Here's her log I did last night.

Went to bed at 730pm.
Woke up at 9pm for bottle.
Woke up at 1018pm to be resettled.
Woke at 1141pm for a bottle.
Woke up at 110am to be resettled.
Woke up at 326am for bottle.
Woke up at 454am to be resettled.
Woke up at 525 to be resettled.
Woke up at 745am for the day.

I think I may have found the cause of why she wakes up so Much at night. She normally has the majority of her bottles at night with less bottles during the day. My no cry sleep solutions book says that she is probably so used to eating more at night then during the day time therefore waking up so many times a night.

I've tried feeding her more in the day time before but she hates it, lol she mainly only eats before her naps but I'm going to try again.

 

[lysh]

Alright last night wasn't so good. Neither one of got a solid two hour sleep at all last night. She woke up every 1.5 hours from the time she went to bed to the time she woke up for today. Here's her log I did last night.

Went to bed at 730pm.
Woke up at 9pm for bottle.
Woke up at 1018pm to be resettled.
Woke at 1141pm for a bottle.
Woke up at 110am to be resettled.
Woke up at 326am for bottle.
Woke up at 454am to be resettled.
Woke up at 525 to be resettled.
Woke up at 745am for the day.

I think I may have found the cause of why she wakes up so Much at night. She normally has the majority of her bottles at night with less bottles during the day. My no cry sleep solutions book says that she is probably so used to eating more at night then during the day time therefore waking up so many times a night.

I've tried feeding her more in the day time before but she hates it, lol she mainly only eats before her naps but I'm going to try again.

You could try stretching the feedings out a bit, or start to decrease the amount in the bottle so that she starts to seek out those calories during the day. So if she drinks 4 oz, maybe give her 3 oz and then the following night 2 oz etc.

 

[katrinalorien]

Wow last night wasn't bad at all. I don't have a clock in my bedroom but I know she went to bed at around 8:15 or so, and didn't wake till 11:07~! (kitchen clock) Then she wanted to be breastfed and that's when I took her to bed with me. I think we got up twice (maybe three times, but I think only twice) and when we got up for the day it was 5:51. So that's not too bad at all!!

Now I can't wait for her to roll over, because my Lily settles so much better on her stomach... and then I know she can roll over onto her stomach on her own.

 

[Noelle610]

Hey ladies! Sorry for my delay in responding. Had a lovely night... Dinner with friends, bath and bed for 8 hours! I admit I woke frequently as I'm conditioned to do, but it was refreshing just to be alone and rest. DH is coming to pick me up after Charlotte's first nap. Of course she had her best night ever with him and slept 7pm to 5am!!!!! I am sure she woke and he didn't hear. Does make me wonder if perhaps I am responding too quickly at night.

MiniKiwi - so glad you are okay! Please take care of yourself. I was just saying last night I don't trust myself driving at the moment.

I'm happy to hear about some good nights. Lysh, 4 hour stretchs?! Lovely. Now you know LO can do it and she will do it consistantly soon enough.

Boo - that last nap is TOUGH! My LO is a good napper but we struggle with the 3rd one too, which I feel she still needs at 6 months. Generally around our babies' ages the "experts" recommend 11 hours of night sleep (you have to subtract time awake for night feeds, etc) and 4 during the day. The "sleep coach" I spoke to said motion naps were fine for the last one, so perhaps take Jack for a walk or use a swing? Mine won't be rocked anymore either Also, Charlotte tends to sleep fine at 7pm even if she naps until 6pm. I know this changes as they get older, but it hasn't been an issue for us yet.

Jessica, it sounds like you need to gently get Lilly to eat less at night. I haven't yet read Ferber's book, but I know he has some good techniques. Like Lysh suggested, decreasing the amount or spacing the feess would be ideal. She may wake more at first because she's not used to it, but in the long run it should help. I think she'll continue to refuse more milk during the day if she gets it at night.

Hope everyone has had a great weekend. Sending sleepy vibes your way!

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Minikiwi - omg, I'm so glad everyone is ok! I tend to avoid driving when I'm tired coz I don't trust myself. Hope you get much needed rest soon.

Katrina - so happy you had a better night. I agree with the rolling part as well. My LO lives tummy time and can't wait till she can rest on her belly.

Noelle - happy you had a great night it does sound that you may be getting to her to quickly though. I must say I'm the same though.

Jessica - man....that must be exhausting! Sending sleep dust your LO's way.

Sofia slept from 8 to 1:30 am, fed and went back down till 5:30!!! At that point my DH gave her a bottle of ebm and I got to snooze till 8 am. Really hope her sleep gets to her old norm soon. She's napping right now at 10:30

 

[lysh]

Noell-Glad you got some good rest!!! 7-5 is great! Maybe increase your response time a bit to see what happens. I did that last night and LO went back to sleep without needing a feed...went from 2 hours between to almost 3.

 

[Boo44]

Pleased you had a lovely time Noelle! Thanks for the advice. I've decided I think Jack still does need that nap, today my MIL was over and she cuddled him to sleep for 20mins at 16.45 which I think was just fine. Thanks for the tip re motion napping!! Xx

 

[jessicatunnel]

I've been trying to feed her more today, doing good so far.

Noelle, I always respond immediately. Which is stupid because the one time I didn't she went back to sleep. I can't help it though you know, as soon as I hear her I'm up and in her room to see what's the matter.

 

[lysh]

I've been trying to feed her more today, doing good so far.

Noelle, I always respond immediately. Which is stupid because the one time I didn't she went back to sleep. I can't help it though you know, as soon as I hear her I'm up and in her room to see what's the matter.

It is hard to give it a few minutes...I have a video monitor which helps because I can at least see her and know she is ok. I can also get a read on her body language (ex-if legs were drawn up I would know it was a gas issue).

 

[bananaz]

MiniKiwi - How scary! I'm glad you guys are okay. Sleep deprivation really is a serious thing

Noelle - So glad you got some sleep! And of course she slept amazingly the one night dad was on duty Isn't that how these things always work??

jessica - Good luck trying to move Lilly's feeding schedule! It sounds like you're on track. I'm also in the process of doing the same thing with Elsie, but she's so difficult to feed during the day that I'm guessing we'll be having night feeds for a while.

Shadowy Lady - Wow, only one waking - that's amazing! I'm super jealous. I hope it continues to go well for you.


Last night was rough. It took me 40 minutes to get her to sleep and then she woke up every 1-2 hours for the rest of the night. She also moved both of her night feeds an hour earlier than usual and decided to get up a half hour earlier than usual. Arghh. I'm going to blame this on all the extra stimulation she got from my friend who was visiting from out of town yesterday and hope that she'll go back to sleeping better tonight...

 

[Noelle610]

Great night last night! Charlotte wouldn't take her 3rd nap, so we put her down at 6pm. She did two 5 hour stretches... Woke at 11pm and 4am, then up at 6:15 for the day. I feel soooo good.

She only took 2 ounces at 11pm, so maybe I will try not feeding her at that time to gently encourage her to sleep through the earlier wakings. She didn't seem starving at 4am either, which makes me really think once a night is plenty for her.

We are going to Texas for Thanksgiving, Tuesday through Saturday, to see DH's family. I'm really concerned about it messing with naps and sleep. Regardless, guess we can't stay home until she's 3! So here's hoping its not too bad.

 

[anti]

We are going to Texas for Thanksgiving, Tuesday through Saturday, to see DH's family. I'm really concerned about it messing with naps and sleep. Regardless, guess we can't stay home until she's 3! So here's hoping its not too bad.

This is exactly what I was thinking!! We are going to Ireland for 12 days over Christmas to see OH's family and I'm terrified its gonna mess with naps and bedtime and all that, but like you say, we can't stay home for ever!!

 

[Noelle610]

We are going to Texas for Thanksgiving, Tuesday through Saturday, to see DH's family. I'm really concerned about it messing with naps and sleep. Regardless, guess we can't stay home until she's 3! So here's hoping its not too bad.

This is exactly what I was thinking!! We are going to Ireland for 12 days over Christmas to see OH's family and I'm terrified its gonna mess with naps and bedtime and all that, but like you say, we can't stay home for ever!!

I'm such an anxious person, wish I could be a bit more relaxed about these things! My LO is pretty unpredictable though, so maybe I should just think positive and pretend that the traveling will be good for her sleep

 

[jessicatunnel]

Great night last night! Charlotte wouldn't take her 3rd nap, so we put her down at 6pm. She did two 5 hour stretches... Woke at 11pm and 4am, then up at 6:15 for the day. I feel soooo good.

She only took 2 ounces at 11pm, so maybe I will try not feeding her at that time to gently encourage her to sleep through the earlier wakings. She didn't seem starving at 4am either, which makes me really think once a night is plenty for her.

We are going to Texas for Thanksgiving, Tuesday through Saturday, to see DH's family. I'm really concerned about it messing with naps and sleep. Regardless, guess we can't stay home until she's 3! So here's hoping its not too bad.

Awhh, Texas is my home state.

Lilly did better last night, she only had two bottles instead of her usual 3 or 4.
But she still woke up a ton to be settled back to sleep.
I'm so so tired this morning. I'm usually really good about handling my tired-ness, but today I just feel like cuddling up on the couch with a blanket and going to sleep.

Last night she woke up around 3 and I couldn't get her back to sleep so I ended up leaning over the crib and putting my arms around her and my head on her belly, lol, but she went to sleep almost instantly. I think she thought I was laying next to her. But it KILLED my back!

We have cosleeped a few times, but I just don't get very much sleep doing that. :/

We're going back home for Christmas and normally I'd be worried that it would mess her up, but she's just such an awful sleeper already, I don't see how it could get any worse!

 

[Noelle610]

Great night last night! Charlotte wouldn't take her 3rd nap, so we put her down at 6pm. She did two 5 hour stretches... Woke at 11pm and 4am, then up at 6:15 for the day. I feel soooo good.

She only took 2 ounces at 11pm, so maybe I will try not feeding her at that time to gently encourage her to sleep through the earlier wakings. She didn't seem starving at 4am either, which makes me really think once a night is plenty for her.

We are going to Texas for Thanksgiving, Tuesday through Saturday, to see DH's family. I'm really concerned about it messing with naps and sleep. Regardless, guess we can't stay home until she's 3! So here's hoping its not too bad.

Awhh, Texas is my home state.

Lilly did better last night, she only had two bottles instead of her usual 3 or 4.
But she still woke up a ton to be settled back to sleep.
I'm so so tired this morning. I'm usually really good about handling my tired-ness, but today I just feel like cuddling up on the couch with a blanket and going to sleep.

Last night she woke up around 3 and I couldn't get her back to sleep so I ended up leaning over the crib and putting my arms around her and my head on her belly, lol, but she went to sleep almost instantly. I think she thought I was laying next to her. But it KILLED my back!

We have cosleeped a few times, but I just don't get very much sleep doing that. :/

We're going back home for Christmas and normally I'd be worried that it would mess her up, but she's just such an awful sleeper already, I don't see how it could get any worse!

Where are you from, Jessica? DH is from San Antonio. I love it there! His family is really great, so they will be willing to help if we don't sleep that great. That's always nice.

I'm glad to hear Lilly is feeding less at night! It will probably take a few weeks for her to get used to not waking, even if she's not hungry. Doesn't make any easier for you, I know! Charlotte obviously doesn't "need" to wake at 11pm, but she's so used to it that she still does. I too have tried cosleeping, but don't sleep well. I wish I did - it sounds lovely when it works!

I hear you on feeling so bent out of shape about being tired. There are days when I'm great about it. I just think, "This too shall pass", drink lots of coffee and have a good sense of humor. Other days - like when I started this thread! - I just feel sick, broken down and utterly hopeless.

Here's hoping you get a nap or some rest tonight!