Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Noelle610]

Could she need a burp? This is sometimes the reason why Clara wakes earlier than usual. I think babies are all just different. My son was a terrible sleeper but at Clara's age he was doing a long stretch at the start of the evening, e.g. 8.30 p.m. to 1.30 a.m. Clara is a good sleeper but she doesn't do a long stretch of sleep at all, she goes to sleep at 6.30/7 and then wakes every three hours pretty much on the dot throughout the night until 6.30/7 the next morning. Also sleep does tend to go backwards and forwards. Thomas slept quite well from 5 months to 6 months before going through a big regression and waking up all the time again.

Re insomnia - I never got back to sleeping as well as I did before having a child, even when my son was reliably sleeping through for a year. I would still usually wake up briefly several times through the night and would not always get back to sleep quickly. Now I have a newborn again but I don't really feel like my sleep is that much more disturbed than before I had her!

You know, I don't think so... but I'll try to burp her better tonight and see!

My mom says the same. You NEVER sleep the way you did before having a kid, though it does even out a little bit more. Perhaps that's your body's way of preparing you for the next child?!

 

[Noelle610]

Ashlynn does the same thing!! Goes to bed between 6 and 7. Depending on her last nap and always wake at 10 for a feed, then usually 2 and 5 and 7 before getting up at 8. Last night she was up from 1:30-3 laughing and smiling like something was funny... Nothing is funny at that hour in the morning!! The night before she did that from 9:30-10:30... Not sure what's up with that?!

Her pattern sounds similar to Charlotte's. We sometimes get that weird wide-awake thing during the night, too! If she's not unhappy, I just leave her to it and she typically settles herself after looking at her mobile for a bit. Not sure why she can't self-settle at other times during the night!

 

[Noelle610]

I think what you are experiencing is quite normal, especially considering since sleep is inconsistant. If you do an internet search for "postpartum insomnia", you will find quite a bit of information. I think it's partially hormonal, but it's also psychological -- if you're not sure how long you will be able to sleep, it's tough to really relax. I totally smpathize and wish I had an answer for you! My husband doesn't understand how I can lay in bed from 7:30pm until 5:30 am and only sleep for four hours or so (my LO isn't the best sleeper, but she's not up THAT much). I've totally had those nights where I'm up hourly when she's only waking once or twice, usually following a really bad night and I'm on edge.

I have been told by other moms that this goes away, but I'm almost 6 months in and I haven't had that experience. Obviously at some point we'll be able to sleep the night again, but for me I think it might take awhile.

When my LO was a slightly more reliable sleeper and would have a stretch of at least 5 hours at the beginning of the night, I would take some melatonin or a half dose of Benadryl after I put her down so that I would actually get some sleep too. It was really helpful for me. But of course now she might be up in just a couple of hours so I would rather not be groggy trying to put her back down

She had another good night though (by recent standards, anyway). Bedtime was a little drawn out because she didn't want to nurse down but she quietly self-settled around 8:20 then only woke at 1:30 and 4 to nurse before being up for the day at 6. If this pattern continues I think I'm going to work on gradually shortening that first feed in the hopes of helping it get pushed back again, but I'm probably getting ahead of myself...

How do you feel about taking melatonin when breastfeeding? I like it because it doesn't make me so groggy I couldn't wake up. My bottle says not to take when pregnant or nursing, but it's natural and I wonder if that's a bit of an unnecessary precaution? If you've taken it without issue I may do so tonight!

Glad you had a good night... here's hoping it continues!

 

[MiniKiwi]

I have the same problem with sleeping now. Even when LO's asleep, I wake up in the night. This morning I need a boatload of coffee I had to bounce her back to sleep after she woke up at 5am and by 7 when she went back to sleep I had to get up cause I couldn't go back to sleep

 

[Noelle610]

You're not alone. My once amazing sleeper (from 10 weeks up until about 5 months) has gone back to being a horrible sleeper. I guess at least I got a few months of nice nights. I thought maybe it was just a random thing that would get better within a week, well, it's been like this for almost a month and I'm exhausted 24/7. I have so much trouble getting out of bed in the morning because I'm so tired. I have persistent headaches that hurt really bad right behind my eyes. I don't know what to do.

He wakes up about every 2 hours, sometimes every hour. I have my wireless keyboard on the bed (laptop hooked up to my tv, ultimate lazy setup here). He wakes up and plays with the keyboard, or he hits me, he flails around, punches, grabs, claws. When I'm dead tired it takes a lot to be patient with this! I thought going back to bed sharing would help him sleep, but instead I'm a huge punching bag.

I know he's teething, and he's trying to learn how to crawl, but I'm just ready for this to end. It's a mixture of wonder weeks, teething, and sleep regression, and it's so awful. I've debated doing sleep training myself, but I know that he can't help the teething pain, so I just cuddle. He's awful to deal with during the day now too, I have to carry him all day and if I put him down he gets really fussy. He's just not as happy as he used to be, and I miss it.

In order to get him to nap, he has to nurse through all of it. So I get a baby attached to my boob for 2 hours at a pop sometimes during the day. I can't get anything done, and I have finals coming up. My DH works 70 hour weeks so I can't wait for him to watch the baby. I'm going out of my mind!

Last night to prove to my DH that he's been waking up a lot and to show why I'm so exhausted, I took a couple of videos. You may even hear DH somehow snoring through it. The first one is dark, he had gotten ahold of the keyboard when he woke up and started playing with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4toE_xK7snc&feature=youtu.be

This second one I used the flash. You can see him flailing and hitting me, and you can see dark circles under his eyes. Clearly he's very tired!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijCxJ-QSNa8&feature=youtu.be

I just want one day where I do nothing but sleep. William will drink out of a shot glass (I'm awful I know) but nothing else, tempting to give DH some pumped milk and a shot glass and hand him the baby when he has off for the holiday next week. Mommy needs sleep!

Hi Leids! Sorry you're in this club, too. I know your little man was sleeping so well! The "sleep coach" I spoke with recently mentioned that months 4 and 5 are really tough for sleep, even for babies that slept well prior to this time. Like you said, it's just everything! One big developmental leap, teething, you name it. It's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes, isn't? It is hard to enjoy being a mom when you are SO tired, your baby is SO fussy and you know you would both be happier if sleep would just happen.

Your little man certainly is cute! I suspect Charlotte would react in a similar way if we were bedsharing, bashing me all the time! Do you think your LO might do better in his own space?

I would totally give your DH night duty while he isn't working. We are about to go to Texas for Thanksgiving and I'm always hesitant to let my DH's parents help, but they put it to me like this: They KNOW they can sleep when we leave, so why not let them help? It's us moms who have to deal with this without knowing it will end!

 

[Noelle610]

uuugh another bad-ish night. Let her self settle for about 2 min, then she woke 45 min later. Let her resettle, but then woke 30 min later. After that I was done and took her to bed with me. I have found if she's with me in bed, the only reason she can't self settle is from a wet diaper.

But then she peed so much last night it leaked all over our bed (luckily I have a waterproof thing over our mattress!)

I just don't get it, why after 45 min, then 30 min? I think I partially understand her 45 min wakings, its like one sleep cycle. But 30 min isn't even a complete sleep cycle.

Arrrrrrgggghhhh

So sorry you had a bad night Have you tried overnight diapers? Pampers Baby Dry 12 Hours are working well for us!

 

[Noelle610]

I have the same problem with sleeping now. Even when LO's asleep, I wake up in the night. This morning I need a boatload of coffee I had to bounce her back to sleep after she woke up at 5am and by 7 when she went back to sleep I had to get up cause I couldn't go back to sleep

It's a viscious cycle, UGH!

 

[MiniKiwi]

Hehe Leids, he is just so cute! Mia is so violent these days as well! She hates cuddles and is constantly pinching and hitting me. When do they start being all cuddly and kissy? I can't wait for that!

 

[katrinalorien]

Ashlynn does the same thing!! Goes to bed between 6 and 7. Depending on her last nap and always wake at 10 for a feed, then usually 2 and 5 and 7 before getting up at 8. Last night she was up from 1:30-3 laughing and smiling like something was funny... Nothing is funny at that hour in the morning!! The night before she did that from 9:30-10:30... Not sure what's up with that?!

Her pattern sounds similar to Charlotte's. We sometimes get that weird wide-awake thing during the night, too! If she's not unhappy, I just leave her to it and she typically settles herself after looking at her mobile for a bit. Not sure why she can't self-settle at other times during the night!

Hmm although I've never had this sort of trouble, Ferber talks about it in his book. His solution was to move the bedtime forward, like maybe you have too early of a bedtime? I don't know, sometimes the advice is really mixed. Dr. W. would have a fit if someone suggested a later bedtime, but I think Ferber thinks it can be a solution sometimes.

 

[polaris]

Ashlynn does the same thing!! Goes to bed between 6 and 7. Depending on her last nap and always wake at 10 for a feed, then usually 2 and 5 and 7 before getting up at 8. Last night she was up from 1:30-3 laughing and smiling like something was funny... Nothing is funny at that hour in the morning!! The night before she did that from 9:30-10:30... Not sure what's up with that?!

Her pattern sounds similar to Charlotte's. We sometimes get that weird wide-awake thing during the night, too! If she's not unhappy, I just leave her to it and she typically settles herself after looking at her mobile for a bit. Not sure why she can't self-settle at other times during the night!

Hmm although I've never had this sort of trouble, Ferber talks about it in his book. His solution was to move the bedtime forward, like maybe you have too early of a bedtime? I don't know, sometimes the advice is really mixed. Dr. W. would have a fit if someone suggested a later bedtime, but I think Ferber thinks it can be a solution sometimes.

LOL yeah even the sleep "experts" don't agree.

 

[Noelle610]

Ashlynn does the same thing!! Goes to bed between 6 and 7. Depending on her last nap and always wake at 10 for a feed, then usually 2 and 5 and 7 before getting up at 8. Last night she was up from 1:30-3 laughing and smiling like something was funny... Nothing is funny at that hour in the morning!! The night before she did that from 9:30-10:30... Not sure what's up with that?!

Her pattern sounds similar to Charlotte's. We sometimes get that weird wide-awake thing during the night, too! If she's not unhappy, I just leave her to it and she typically settles herself after looking at her mobile for a bit. Not sure why she can't self-settle at other times during the night!

Hmm although I've never had this sort of trouble, Ferber talks about it in his book. His solution was to move the bedtime forward, like maybe you have too early of a bedtime? I don't know, sometimes the advice is really mixed. Dr. W. would have a fit if someone suggested a later bedtime, but I think Ferber thinks it can be a solution sometimes.

LOL yeah even the sleep "experts" don't agree.

You know, I really don't think her bedtime is too early. The one time she was truly "awake" for some time at night was actually when we put her to bed late - we tried moving her bedtime back a bit to adjust her for daylight savings time. My LO is very sensitive to being overtired and actually wakes less when she naps more/goes to bed early.

I respect Ferber on many issues, but I think his overall estimations of how much sleep infants need are too low. I tend to think Weissbluth is a bit more in tune with the current research in that area, at least from what I've observed with my daughter

 

[polaris]

Ashlynn does the same thing!! Goes to bed between 6 and 7. Depending on her last nap and always wake at 10 for a feed, then usually 2 and 5 and 7 before getting up at 8. Last night she was up from 1:30-3 laughing and smiling like something was funny... Nothing is funny at that hour in the morning!! The night before she did that from 9:30-10:30... Not sure what's up with that?!

Her pattern sounds similar to Charlotte's. We sometimes get that weird wide-awake thing during the night, too! If she's not unhappy, I just leave her to it and she typically settles herself after looking at her mobile for a bit. Not sure why she can't self-settle at other times during the night!

Hmm although I've never had this sort of trouble, Ferber talks about it in his book. His solution was to move the bedtime forward, like maybe you have too early of a bedtime? I don't know, sometimes the advice is really mixed. Dr. W. would have a fit if someone suggested a later bedtime, but I think Ferber thinks it can be a solution sometimes.

LOL yeah even the sleep "experts" don't agree.

You know, I really don't think her bedtime is too early. The one time she was truly "awake" for some time at night was actually when we put her to bed late - we tried moving her bedtime back a bit to adjust her for daylight savings time. My LO is very sensitive to being overtired and actually wakes less when she naps more/goes to bed early.

I respect Ferber on many issues, but I think his overall estimations of how much sleep infants need are too low. I tend to think Weissbluth is a bit more in tune with the current research in that area, at least from what I've observed with my daughter

I would agree with this, Weissbluth has been on the button with regard to my son in relation to daily sleep needs, when to drop naps, etc. The earlier bedtimes always worked well for us. Incidentally Weissbluth does acknowledge that for toddlers/preschoolers you might need to cautiously try a later bedtime in some circumstances - but only if the earlier bedtime has failed!

 

[katrinalorien]

There ya go. I've yet to have this issue... and I agree that Weissbluth's research has been spot on for mine as well. It was so strange to read Ferber's book and have it be so low. Her daily nap needs and when she has organized her first nap has been spot on. Maybe its because Dr. W's research seems to be more widebased and Ferber's advice is more based on what he's encountered at his sleep clinic.

 

[Noelle610]

I'm still interested to read Ferber's book. I hear he has some gentle techniques for night weaning!

 

[Shadowy Lady]

I'm still interested to read Ferber's book. I hear he has some gentle techniques for night weaning!

I bought Ferber's book and will start reading this weekend. I really hope it helps. My insomnia is really peaking and I'm incredibly miserable. Only slept 2 hours last night

 

[lysh]

I read both Weissbluth's and Ferber's books. I felt more well-rounded with information after reading both! LO had her 4 month check-up and the doc gave me the okay to try to spread out feedings a bit during the night. I am not night weaning as she is too young, but I also do not need to feed her every 2 hours. Last night she truly ate during one of the feedings- the other two feedings she sipped at. So if I can consolidate them a bit so she is actually eating rather than snacking, that would be great!!!

However, like everything else, spacing feedings will be easier said than done!!!!

I wish you all better sleep tonight.

 

[aliss]

My boy's been really gassy the past 2 days God help me if I end up with another colicky one

 

[katrinalorien]

My boy's been really gassy the past 2 days God help me if I end up with another colicky one

Oh aliss I hope not... sending you sleepy, non-colicky dust

 

[anti]

Ashlynn is doing it again!! Up at 4 this time singing, smiling and laughing!! I refuse to pick her up though or bring her into bed with us. She has to learn to sleep properly and in her own bed!! Argh!

 

[bananaz]

How do you feel about taking melatonin when breastfeeding? I like it because it doesn't make me so groggy I couldn't wake up. My bottle says not to take when pregnant or nursing, but it's natural and I wonder if that's a bit of an unnecessary precaution? If you've taken it without issue I may do so tonight!

Glad you had a good night... here's hoping it continues!

LO's pediatrician said the melatonin is fine. I just take the minimum dose and it never seems to have any effect on her. I think they have to put those warnings on anything that hasn't been extensively tested (which is the case with most drugs, for obvious reasons)