Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Noelle610]

So (and Noelle you'll laugh at this)

Last night, I only had TWO night wakings wtih Philippe (as I said recently, we're swaddle weaning cold turkey).

It was wonderful. Out cold at 6:45pm-10pm (a lovely evening to ourselves as toddler is in bed at 7pm too). 10pm, a feed. Ok. 3am feed, ok.

Annnnnnd then midnight, someone (aka Alexandre) decides to have a nightmare and whine/cry on & off for 2 hours.

AUGHHHHHH. I feel like death!!!! Finally, a fantastic unswaddled night spoiled by a 3 year old!!!!

How very typical.

Ugh!!! Reminds me of a night that Charlotte slept really well but my dog was up all night puking. Not that Alex is like a dog, but you get my point

 

[aliss]

So (and Noelle you'll laugh at this)

Last night, I only had TWO night wakings wtih Philippe (as I said recently, we're swaddle weaning cold turkey).

It was wonderful. Out cold at 6:45pm-10pm (a lovely evening to ourselves as toddler is in bed at 7pm too). 10pm, a feed. Ok. 3am feed, ok.

Annnnnnd then midnight, someone (aka Alexandre) decides to have a nightmare and whine/cry on & off for 2 hours.

AUGHHHHHH. I feel like death!!!! Finally, a fantastic unswaddled night spoiled by a 3 year old!!!!

How very typical.

Ugh!!! Reminds me of a night that Charlotte slept really well but my dog was up all night puking. Not that Alex is like a dog, but you get my point

Eh, Alex is worse. At least the dog I left to "CIO" in the crate. He was only 8 weeks. I feel bad now

 

[Noelle610]

So (and Noelle you'll laugh at this)

Last night, I only had TWO night wakings wtih Philippe (as I said recently, we're swaddle weaning cold turkey).

It was wonderful. Out cold at 6:45pm-10pm (a lovely evening to ourselves as toddler is in bed at 7pm too). 10pm, a feed. Ok. 3am feed, ok.

Annnnnnd then midnight, someone (aka Alexandre) decides to have a nightmare and whine/cry on & off for 2 hours.

AUGHHHHHH. I feel like death!!!! Finally, a fantastic unswaddled night spoiled by a 3 year old!!!!

How very typical.

Ugh!!! Reminds me of a night that Charlotte slept really well but my dog was up all night puking. Not that Alex is like a dog, but you get my point

Eh, Alex is worse. At least the dog I left to "CIO" in the crate. He was only 8 weeks. I feel bad now

 

[polaris]

LOL, the first night that Clara slept reasonably well, Thomas was up all night getting sick! They must have a sleep radar or something, working as a team to ensure you don't get any!

Seaweed eater - I had to smile at the image of Sears and Weissbluth battling it out inside your head, this is how I feel most days too, that's what comes of reading too many baby books I think! I never had so many doubts with Thomas because I'd only read half the books! Also I just want to second what Noelle says about some babies just not sleeping very well regardless of what you do. DS was a dreadful sleeper as a newborn and as he got a bit older he was very sensitive to over-tiredness and any disruption to his schedule would totally throw his sleep pattern. However, once I worked around his needs, he actually slept pretty well. DD on the other hand is just way harder to figure out. She was actually a great sleeper as a newborn, then the four month sleep regression hit and she just never recovered. Her sleep just got worse and worse and worse. I really imagined that I was an expert on baby sleep schedules and getting them sleeping well after DS (who was hard work but manageable) but with DD I just couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong (still can't really). We ended up doing CC with her a couple of weeks ago which was traumatic to be honest. However it has really helped, she has gone from waking up every hour through the night, 20 minute naps, and never wanting to sleep in the cot, to happily self-settling in the cot, taking two decent length naps during the day, and sleeping for somewhat longer stretches at night. She's still waking up three or four times most nights though (after a couple of blissful nights of only one wake-up) but I can handle that as long as it doesn't get worse again and I definitely don't have the stomach for any more crying at the moment. I do think that I was partly to blame in that I used to drag her around to various activities with DS so she never really got proper naps. I thought it was OK because she didn't seem tired during the day and was always in fantastic form (she's incredibly laid-back except during the night). But I know think that she was chronically somewhat over-tired even though she didn't seem to be. With DS you could always tell when he was over-tired because his mood would be just appalling and he would usually just cry constantly and refuse to go to sleep. Whereas DD tends to get giggly and a bit hyper when over-tired but she doesn't cry or show any visible signs of being tired. Babies are just so confusing. But honestly, now that I have two I can honestly tell you that what works with one baby may not work with another, they truly are all different and have their own little quirks.

 

[seaweed eater]

Vikki that sounds great!

Oh no Aliss I hope you get another good night tonight from Philippe without the disruption from Alexandre!

Thanks, Noelle and Polaris. I'm glad to hear his schedule sounds good the nap stuff just feels a little crazy because not too long ago he was usually having FIVE naps. And of course I was fretting about the fact that he was still napping like a newborn when his peers were consolidating! I think three may still be right for now, at least during the week. He's in daycare in the afternoons so the schedule I described corresponds to one nap there and one starting in the car on the way either to or from (plus the morning one). It's hard to prevent him from falling asleep in the car if it's close to naptime, so for two he would need a solid nap at home AND a solid nap at daycare. I hope he moves to that soon, though, because waiting for him to finish his nap in the carseat is getting inconvenient now that his naps are longer

I just always feel weird about thinking of him as a bad sleeper...he's not a "difficult" baby really; pretty average on that dimension. And he hasn't been super unpredictable or hard to figure out or anything like that. Just stubborn, I guess. I'm just amazed that so many babies seem to STTN just effortlessly...how?!

So, last night was pretty good for us! 3 wakings and a minor MOTN party (at 4:30, oddly) but not too far from normal. AND he made up for the party by sleeping until 7! So hopefully we are on track to get back to where we were. I think it helped to realize that there is basically no way around putting him down awake at this point...if I put him down asleep he just cries five minutes later when he stirs and wakes up, plus I've wasted several minutes waiting for him to be in a deep sleep before putting him down. So the only option is just to keep trying and trying to put him down awake. That's at least less frustrating to me somehow, maybe because each iteration is over faster.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Seaweed eater - hi friend! So sorry you had to join us here...but there are some lovely and helpful ladies here. I drop by everyday even when Sofia sleeps through...I enjoy the girls company. I agree with Noelle, I think you need to take a break from sleep training. I've been doing that myself...just kinda waiting it out.

Aliss - eeeek! Sorry your night got spoiled. Stories like this are scaring me from having more than one kid lol!

Vikki - yay for a good night!

So our evening was slightly better but not great. She was asleep by 6:30 pm (put down and 6:15, played with her toy for a bit and then asleep). She slept till 3:45 exactly and then she woke up moaning. The thing is guys she doesn't even cry or scream anymore...just kinda moans. DH went and adjusted her back to the middle of the bed. She continued to moan for another 30 mins and then went to sleep. During that time we were looking at her in the monitor. It was obvious that she was very tired and wanted to sleep but something was bothering her. She was on her tummy just moaning until she went down.

She woke up in the morning at 7:20 am and was down for her first nap at 9:30 am. I'm still at loss of what's causing the night wakings. We've ruled out hunger as she refuses breast/bottle at that time and trying to feed only prolonged her going back to sleep. She is not pooping at night anymore either. This was night 5 I'll give it till this Friday and then I'll take her to the doc to rule out anything health related.

 

[Noelle610]

Shadowy Lady, something might be bothering her. I wonder if she's getting a tooth.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Noelle - I tried to look but she won't let me :/ I remember checking 2 weeks ago when she was pooping in the middle of the night and couldn't see anything.

 

[Noelle610]

Charlotte will never let me look either It's actually worse before they pop through, so it's really hard to tell.

 

[Boo44]

What is an optimal time for a first nap if baby wakes around 6.30? Usually leave him in cot until at least 7 xx

 

[Sunnie1984]

Boo, jack is 9 months, so try three hours after waking and see how he goes.

If you get short naps, extend by 10 mins every few days until you get a good nap.

Hope that helps!

X

 

[AngelUK]

Boo I usually try to have at least 2 hours awake time after them getting up in the morning but not more than 3. So this is at around 9 or 9:30 depending on when they woke up. It usually is at around 6:20 but I leave them in their cots till about 6:40 usually. xx

 

[Boo44]

Thanks girls. I'm wondering if I've been pushing his first nap actually too late! He has it at either 10 or 10.30 and he's always awake at 6.30 really. Maybe I should bring it forward?

 

[Boo44]

PS noelle I saw the pic of you and Charlotte in a costume on the Uno thread - you are so pretty!

 

[Noelle610]

Aww Boo, thanks

I say 9am or 9:30am

 

[seaweed eater]

SL :wave: I'm sorry something seems to be bothering Sofia teething sounds plausible, but I think your plan to go to the doctor if it's still going on by Friday sounds prudent...

You ladies will appreciate this. I've been talking to DH about how I don't want to leave Munchkin to CIO. This morning after LO woke at 4:30 and I nursed him almost to sleep twice, he ultimately fell asleep after whining for about 40 seconds after I left the room. Then this morning DH said to me, "So it seems like leaving him to cry it out worked pretty well, actually!"

 

[Noelle610]

SL :wave: I'm sorry something seems to be bothering Sofia teething sounds plausible, but I think your plan to go to the doctor if it's still going on by Friday sounds prudent...

You ladies will appreciate this. I've been talking to DH about how I don't want to leave Munchkin to CIO. This morning after LO woke at 4:30 and I nursed him almost to sleep twice, he ultimately fell asleep after whining for about 40 seconds after I left the room. Then this morning DH said to me, "So it seems like leaving him to cry it out worked pretty well, actually!"

I don't consider that crying it out A sleep consultant I spoke with - who is pretty anti-CIO - told me it's best to always wait 5 or 10 minutes before responding to an older baby when they're making noise in their crib. Two reasons:

1 - Some babies need to "let off steam" before they fall asleep. By "helping" them, you're really just overstimulating them and making it harder for them to fall asleep.

2 - Babies often make noise when transitioning through sleep cycles. "Sleep cries" are common, especially if baby is overtired. By responding to a baby too quickly, you're actually disrupting their sleep and it can lead to fragmented sleep (not healthy) or habitual night waking (not fun).

Admittedly, I am not good at this. I usually rush right to Charlotte. But when I have followed this advice I've been pleasantly suprised to find she often is quiet just moments later.

 

[Boo44]

I've turned over a new leaf with this too even when I hear him at 6am I leave him - I've given up trying to get the dummy in etc. he's old enough to find his own dummy now. Sometimes he doesn't quieten down. But on the odd occasion I get up to another hour, so I'm willing to keep trying!'

 

[seaweed eater]

Yeah, I don't consider that CIO, either - just giving them a chance! That's why I thought it was funny. I try to count to 100 if he is just fussing and not crying. Which is not even 2 minutes, but I find that if I don't count, I'm not able to wait. But if he cries I go in right away.

 

[polaris]

I don't mind leaving Clara for ten or fifteen minutes if she's just doing her moany cry, she often has a moan when transitioning between sleep cycles but it's a completely different cry to when she's properly awake and upset. It's sort of annoying though because obviously it still wakes me up. She usually does go back to sleep in less than ten minutes if she's doing her moany cry, in fact I'm not convinced that she's properly awake at all when she's crying like that.