Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Shadowy Lady]

ughhhh after 2 nights of sttn (7pm to 7:30 am), last night Sofia was up from 3:30 to 4:30 am again! She's on her tummy tossing her head from left to right, her eyes closed, and trying to bring her knees up under her tummy and whining.

Honestly, this is getting sooo weird! what we did last night was to turn on her sleep sheep which distracted her enough from trying to go on all four and put her to sleep. It's so odd that it's not even every night, but it doesn't seem to go away.

Of course since she was up for so long in the middle of the night, she's crankier during the day, I'm feeling pretty sleep deprived and missed my morning workout

 

[Smile181c]

Smile - That's really tough. How do you put him to sleep? And how do you respond when he wakes?

Well he's never been a self soother, he's always been rocked or held to sleep. Our routine at the moment is bath, come downstairs, bottle and then he'll drift off on either myself or DF (mainly me though). Once he's asleep I'll take him upstairs and put him in his cot. If he wakes up I usually go straight to him. Depending on the time I either feed him (He dreamfeeds at around 10.30 and then wakes between 2-3 for another bottle) or he's wide awake and I take him out and attempt to resettle him x

 

[bananaz]

Well he's never been a self soother, he's always been rocked or held to sleep. Our routine at the moment is bath, come downstairs, bottle and then he'll drift off on either myself or DF (mainly me though). Once he's asleep I'll take him upstairs and put him in his cot. If he wakes up I usually go straight to him. Depending on the time I either feed him (He dreamfeeds at around 10.30 and then wakes between 2-3 for another bottle) or he's wide awake and I take him out and attempt to resettle him x

Have you recently tried to get him to settle in the cot, maybe with you rubbing or patting his back? Or rock him in your arms until he's almost asleep and then put him down and pat him? I know it's hard but if he can learn to go to sleep in his cot at the beginning of the night he may be able to go back to sleep on his own when he rouses later, and it will also be less of a shock for him to wake up in his bed. My LO was also not a self-soother at all so I used to always nurse her to sleep but at around 6-7 months I started being able to get her to go to sleep in her crib at night, first by putting her down half-asleep on her belly and patting her back until she dropped off, and then I slowly worked up to being able to put her down totally awake. They change really quickly when they're this little so you have to keep trying things because you never know when it's going to work!

Also, have you ever tried waiting a couple minutes when he stirs at night? Or does he become hysterical quickly if you don't get him?

 

[Noelle610]

I'm so frustrated right now! I put Charlotte down 40 minutes ago and she's still awake. This was never a problem for us until recently - she's always gone to sleep so easily at bedtime.

I'm wondering if it's developmental or if she needs a schedule change. She's awake about 4 hours between her last nap and bedtime and that seems to be at the upper limit of what experts recommend. Still, she seems "under tired". Maybe I should try a later bedtime tomorrow?

I just hate the fighting bedtime because it makes me question if I'm doing things "right" and if I'm being honest it also cuts into my alone time because I can't relax.

 

[bananaz]

I'm so frustrated right now! I put Charlotte down 40 minutes ago and she's still awake. This was never a problem for us until recently - she's always gone to sleep so easily at bedtime.

I'm wondering if it's developmental or if she needs a schedule change. She's awake about 4 hours between her last nap and bedtime and that seems to be at the upper limit of what experts recommend. Still, she seems "under tired". Maybe I should try a later bedtime tomorrow?

I just hate the fighting bedtime because it makes me question if I'm doing things "right" and if I'm being honest it also cuts into my alone time because I can't relax.

Sorry, that's so frustrating Is she just hanging out happily or is she protesting?

FWIW, Elsie's optimal wake time seems to be closer to 4.5 hours these days, though she's usually only up for 2-3 hours before bed (but that's never been an issue for her for whatever reason).

 

[Noelle610]

I'm so frustrated right now! I put Charlotte down 40 minutes ago and she's still awake. This was never a problem for us until recently - she's always gone to sleep so easily at bedtime.

I'm wondering if it's developmental or if she needs a schedule change. She's awake about 4 hours between her last nap and bedtime and that seems to be at the upper limit of what experts recommend. Still, she seems "under tired". Maybe I should try a later bedtime tomorrow?

I just hate the fighting bedtime because it makes me question if I'm doing things "right" and if I'm being honest it also cuts into my alone time because I can't relax.

Sorry, that's so frustrating Is she just hanging out happily or is she protesting?

FWIW, Elsie's optimal wake time seems to be closer to 4.5 hours these days, though she's usually only up for 2-3 hours before bed (but that's never been an issue for her for whatever reason).

She seems happy! She's not acting like she does when she's overtired - screaming and fussing. She's just playing. Maybe I'll try a 4.5 hour wake time before bed and see what happens. It's just confusing, when you think you've got it they change it up on you!

 

[socitycourty]

Hadley's sleep is still so bad, I think due to her teeth. also had a cold (which I caught, yay!) so she is stuffy and burbling on snot when she lays down....had her in the bed with us past 2 nights, i'm just too tired to fight it. when she is well or when her teeth come through I need to sleep train.

my question is, is it even worth it because it seems like she'll be getting a lot of teeth in the upcoming months (looking at the teething diagram) so won't I have to retrain every time this happens?

she's been drooly (like 100x more than usual) biting, etc and I think I can see the white spots but nothing poking thru yet.

 

[bananaz]

Hadley's sleep is still so bad, I think due to her teeth. also had a cold (which I caught, yay!) so she is stuffy and burbling on snot when she lays down....had her in the bed with us past 2 nights, i'm just too tired to fight it. when she is well or when her teeth come through I need to sleep train.

my question is, is it even worth it because it seems like she'll be getting a lot of teeth in the upcoming months (looking at the teething diagram) so won't I have to retrain every time this happens?

she's been drooly (like 100x more than usual) biting, etc and I think I can see the white spots but nothing poking thru yet.

I was also trying to wait until Elsie wasn't sick or teething or going through any major developmental leaps before messing with her schedule but eventually I realized that that perfect time wasn't going to happen and I just had to go for it. Like you said, teething is going to kind of be a constant for a while and if your LO's current sleep pattern isn't sustainable then you may as well change it sooner rather than later.

I don't know how you feel about medication but have you tried giving Hadley ibuprofen? It's the only thing that really seems to help my LO with teething pain at night.

 

[socitycourty]

i have used ibuprofen before when she cut her first 2.....i gave it to her a few days last week as she was really grumpy and chewing everything. think i'll give her some tonight and see if it helps her get rest.

tylenol does nothing for her, of course ibuprofen is like twice as pricey LOL! oh well. i guess you're right too about the "perfect" time, it won't happen.

 

[MiniKiwi]

Noelle, Mia does 4.5 hours from her last nap until her 7pm bed time and we haven't had those early evening wakings for a while now. I'd give her another half hour of wake time and see how she goes.

Bananaz, so happy to see that things are going well for you. I know exactly how you feel when she self settles - it truly does feel like a miracle lmao.

Socity - I'm sorry you're still having such a rough time I agree with bananaz though - there never seems to be a right time to sleep train as there's always something new going on. All I can say is that it's been worth it in my experience, I did wait until her recent teeth had come through and then started gently sleep training Mia. It has honestly done wonders and I never had any guilt or bad feelings over it which was very important to me - if you're interested in what I did, I'd be more than happy to explain it to you. In the mean time, I hope you get some rest

I haven't popped in this thread for ages because... Mia sleeps! She's doing 7pm-4am most nights and back to sleep til 6 or 7, with the occasional rough night or short motn party but still, huge progress and I'm happy with that anyway. She's also self settling for some naps and some bedtimes now

 

[seaweed eater]

Socity, sorry about the teeth and the cold, that's a bad double whammy. Hope the teeth come in soon and you all feel better

Noelle, I'm sure you know a trillion times more than I do about this, but could she possibly need 1 nap yet? I thought that happened around 13 months, and you said she was relatively early to switch to 2?

Thanks for your advice about letting Munchkin have longer wake times and waiting for the consolidation to follow that. It makes me nervous to let him nap so little, because his sleep was so much better this past week when he wasn't overtired. But we'll see how tonight goes...he had two naps and they were both pretty short. Also the first night in the crib without the bassinet mattress.

I just hope the darn movement sensor doesn't go off. We've had one of those every night he's been in the crib so far. Has anyone stopped using theirs? I wonder at what age I'll feel comfortable enough.

 

[seaweed eater]

MiniKiwi, I'd love to know what you did with Mia in the way of gentle sleep training. And also what you'd tried, if anything, before whatever worked so well.

 

[gaiagirl]

Noelle I was just coming on here to complain about bedtime! Three nights in a row now my LO has been impossible to put down.

He's getting his first tooth, I can feel it on the bottom so I'm HOPING this is what's going on. But putting him down for naps today wasn't difficult and as soon as 7:30 rolls around...all bets are off and he wants to just hang out on my boob.

He was up for 3 hours before bed, which I know is a bit long for his age but we have been doing that for awhile and it's been going fine!

 

[gaiagirl]

Hey Seaweed! Hope his first night in just the crib goes ok!!!!!!

 

[seaweed eater]

Thanks Gaia! I'm going to regret this later but I have to be honest, I'm jealous that you can actually feel F's tooth already I'm really hoping I can attribute all the dirty diapers here to teething but I'm just not sure yet!

I'm sorry about the bedtimes. I hope he sleeps well during the night. Happy 5 months!

 

[gaiagirl]

Thanks! I was relieved to feel it but he's still not quite himself so we aren't out of the woods.

I'm pretty at peace with our nights after my bedtime right now. He still wakes frequently to nurse but it's so momentary that I've been waking up feeling really rested. Last night from 10-7 I didn't even sit up once, which is our 'good night' these days!

 

[MiniKiwi]

Tbh, I hadn't tried anything before. I walked/rocked/bounced her to sleep from an early age, for a few months between 4-7 months she needed hours of rocking a day Between 8 and 10 months, she went to bed at 6pm and would wake every 30-90 minutes until 10 or 11pm (Noelle reckoned this was cause she was going to bed too early so we switched to 7pm bedtime which definitely helped some) and she'd wake up between 11 and 2 am and stay awake for 1-3 hours - she did that for about 2 months lol!!!! When she woke hourly or less one night, I decided enough was enough.

I bathed her, let her do her usual crawl around and play for an hour, gave her a bottle and put her in her cot. I just put one hand on her tummy, one on her head and stroked her hair and shhhed loudly when she cried and quietly when she was quiet. She was asleep in 15 minutes and cried a not too upset cry, on and off for 10 ish mins. The second night she cried for 3 minutes and no crying the third night. I've just been doing the same thing since, it doesn't always work straight away (if she's squealing and chatting it won't work) so I just walk away for a bit and on occasion she will self settle and if not, I go back in when she cries and shh and stroke her head and she nods off. She no longer wakes in the early night time and it's been 1-2 wakings since then and only a few, short motn parties

 

[seaweed eater]

Wow that's amazing! You must have been pleased that it worked so well for her!

 

[polaris]

Noelle, sorry you are having problems at bedtime. Has it been going on for a few days? What is Charlotte's napping schedule roughly at the moment? With Thomas, when he needed extra wake-time at that age I tended to try and move/shorten naps rather than moving bedtime later because I liked him going to bed early.

We had a dreadful night again last night. She just kept waking up all the time. I think it could just be developmental though because she is really working hard on crawling. So tired again this morning! Am wondering now if she had too much day time sleep yesterday! So hard to get it right with these babies and I'm brutal for over-analysing everything!

 

[Smile181c]

Have you recently tried to get him to settle in the cot, maybe with you rubbing or patting his back? Or rock him in your arms until he's almost asleep and then put him down and pat him? I know it's hard but if he can learn to go to sleep in his cot at the beginning of the night he may be able to go back to sleep on his own when he rouses later, and it will also be less of a shock for him to wake up in his bed. My LO was also not a self-soother at all so I used to always nurse her to sleep but at around 6-7 months I started being able to get her to go to sleep in her crib at night, first by putting her down half-asleep on her belly and patting her back until she dropped off, and then I slowly worked up to being able to put her down totally awake. They change really quickly when they're this little so you have to keep trying things because you never know when it's going to work!

Also, have you ever tried waiting a couple minutes when he stirs at night? Or does he become hysterical quickly if you don't get him?

I have tried putting him down tired but awake but he wakes himself up by crying when i leave and i don't have the heart to let him CIO. i will try again tonight though as ive never laid him on his front in the cot before - is it safe? He does work himself up if i don't go in quickly but then thats what he's used to so maybe i should wait it out a little longer. thank you for the advice

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WRT to night feeds, is it normal for him to have them at this age? last night he woke at 10.30, 12.30 and 4 and drank 5oz each time!