Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Noelle610]

Hey, don't feel bad! When you're tired it's hard to see the trees from the forest as they say

In the future, I think I'd wake at the 2 hour mark only because it becomes hard to fit that second nap in. Today I'd try for a cat nap around 4pm - don't let her sleep past 4:45pm or 5pm though.

 

[Twister]

Thanks, I shall try that and see how we get on!

 

[Noelle610]

Good luck hun!

 

[Twister]

Thanks. I ended up taking her up for a nap at 3:30 because she was heading for a meltdown, so she's had 2.5 hours awake time. She's just fallen asleep at about 3:45. I'll make sure she doesn't stay asleep past 4:45-5 but I'll be happy if she sleeps for an hour as it means she'll be less cranky at dinner time!

 

[Noelle610]

Sounds good!

 

[seaweed eater]

Aww MiniKiwi, I'm really sorry to read that I hope it's something fixable like a nap transition and you get back on track soon.

Polaris that's so tough. I can understand why you would respond by feeding every time. I hope it gets better soon.

Related question, and related to Noelle's response - I've wondered about the feeding cutoffs (which I plan to start implementing) vs. the need to be "consistent." Is it confusing for baby to have a feeding schedule at night, because you're not responding to all wakings in the exact same way? It seems like a lot of people use cutoffs successfully so I guess it works somehow, for at least some babies.

Twister, the nap thing sounds like a good insight! And it already sounds like the transition is going better for you than it has for us

We've had a really good 24 hours...knock on wood!! This morning we stayed home from music class to avoid the car and get the nap right. He went down on time so I hope it pays off. I would just love to be out of this cycle of waking up too early, being overtired all day, taking short and late naps, being undertired at bedtime, fighting hard and then going to sleep really late, etc.

 

[bananaz]

Everything has gone back to how it used to be now and I just need to vent. I don't know what went wrong. I think Mia's trying to transition to one nap but she's getting up at 5/5:30am so it's all impossible and I'm juust sick of fucking ssshhhhing and patting and fucking rocking and fuck! lmao. There.

Haha aww I feel for you. We were having the same issue and then finally LO started taking a longer first nap so she was able to drop the second nap and since then she's actually been sleeping until 6am!

Maybe try pushing Mia's first nap later? She's going to be grumpy about it of course but it might be worth it in the long run.

 

[bananaz]

Related question, and related to Noelle's response - I've wondered about the feeding cutoffs (which I plan to start implementing) vs. the need to be "consistent." Is it confusing for baby to have a feeding schedule at night, because you're not responding to all wakings in the exact same way? It seems like a lot of people use cutoffs successfully so I guess it works somehow, for at least some babies.

This was a big question for me as well. I think the key issue is whether your baby is waking out of hunger or out of habit/sleep associations.

If they're waking out of hunger, feeding cutoffs should help because baby will get used to not eating during that time and start taking those calories in during the day instead, which will hopefully stop the nighttime hunger. If they're waking because of habit/sleep associations then theoretically feeding cutoffs might reinforce the night wakings because you're intermittently rewarding the behavior. So it's kind of a dilemma!

IMO, if your baby is actually eating a decent amount at night then feeding cutoffs are a good place to start. If they're just sucking a little and going straight back to sleep then you may want to consider eliminating feeds all at once and just picking one consistent response.

 

[polaris]

Noelle, I think you are right, I think she needs total consistency or it just won't work. However at the moment I think I just need to wait it out for a bit. I think I am going to wait until I can be certain that she no longer needs a night feed before attempting CC again. I think I will wait it out until maybe 10 months now. I don't see the point in letting her cry but then feeding her at some wakings and not at others. But I don't feel 100% certain about cutting out night feeds totally yet.

It could be worse, she is in a great routine during the day time and we do have occasional good nights. And she does self-settle and doesn't generally feed to sleep.

 

[Noelle610]

Understood! Would you be open to a dream feed and then responding to all other night wakings consistantly?

 

[polaris]

Understood! Would you be open to a dream feed and then responding to all other night wakings consistantly?

That is a good idea actually. I will definitely keep that in mind if the night wakings become too much to cope with.

At the moment I just can't face the idea of any more sleep training involving crying. I also feel that maybe she needs a bit of time developmentally to fully respond to sleep training. I still don't regret doing the sleep training we did already because her sleep is a lot better than it was before we did it even though it's still absolutely rubbish!

 

[Noelle610]

Understood! Would you be open to a dream feed and then responding to all other night wakings consistantly?

That is a good idea actually. I will definitely keep that in mind if the night wakings become too much to cope with.

At the moment I just can't face the idea of any more sleep training involving crying. I also feel that maybe she needs a bit of time developmentally to fully respond to sleep training. I still don't regret doing the sleep training we did already because her sleep is a lot better than it was before we did it even though it's still absolutely rubbish!

It's very possible. Not all babies are the same. She'll get there, regardless!

 

[NotNic]

Finlay still isnt over the early starts. He woke at 5am today and unsurprisingly was soo ready for a nap at 9am. He literally fell asleep on my shoulder when I picked him up. He then had two hours and a second short nap at 4.30 which he woke from in inconsolable tears. For the second night running he was not interested in dinner and looked like he could have gone to bed instead. By the time he was washed and dressed he had got to overtired and again it took an hour to get him to sleep. Even though he's exhausted, he tries his hardest not to go to sleep - throwing himself around the bed, rubbing his face into the mattress, chatting and playing with his toys. I'm hoping we get past this soon as his nights have been okay. I need to get back on the after lunch nap track, but its tricky when he is so tired and not having enough sleep at night or in the previous days naps

 

[Beankeeper]

Wanted to share this with you sleepy mamas https://starcrossedkayla.tumblr.com...ent-on-amazon-and-bought-all-the-top-books-on
Hope it makes you smile like it did me...

 

[MiniKiwi]

Oh MiniKiwi, mama! What's going on, long night wakings again? The early morning wake-up actually can be indicative of being ready for a nap transition. How's Mia sleeping during the day?

Ahh thanks for the hugs ladies. Just so frustrating that everything was going well and now it's just not!

She's going to bed at 7pm and last night we didn't actually have a motn party but they've been happening again regularly. She woke at 7:30, 8:30 and 9:30pm again, like she used to but then slept until 4:45am and was up for the day, that's not a bad night but definitely a step backwards. Her naps used to be 1 hour in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon but she's been pushing the first nap later and later and it ends up being 20/30 mins then only 30-1 hour in the afternoon. I just feel like I can't do anything about it since we're moving in 5 days to Norway and we have close to 50 hours travel time and then a totally different time zone. These flights are going to be ROUGH. UGH!

 

[socitycourty]

Oh MiniKiwi, mama! What's going on, long night wakings again? The early morning wake-up actually can be indicative of being ready for a nap transition. How's Mia sleeping during the day?

Ahh thanks for the hugs ladies. Just so frustrating that everything was going well and now it's just not!

She's going to bed at 7pm and last night we didn't actually have a motn party but they've been happening again regularly. She woke at 7:30, 8:30 and 9:30pm again, like she used to but then slept until 4:45am and was up for the day, that's not a bad night but definitely a step backwards. Her naps used to be 1 hour in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon but she's been pushing the first nap later and later and it ends up being 20/30 mins then only 30-1 hour in the afternoon. I just feel like I can't do anything about it since we're moving in 5 days to Norway and we have close to 50 hours travel time and then a totally different time zone. These flights are going to be ROUGH. UGH!

 

[Noelle610]

Oh MiniKiwi, mama! What's going on, long night wakings again? The early morning wake-up actually can be indicative of being ready for a nap transition. How's Mia sleeping during the day?

Ahh thanks for the hugs ladies. Just so frustrating that everything was going well and now it's just not!

She's going to bed at 7pm and last night we didn't actually have a motn party but they've been happening again regularly. She woke at 7:30, 8:30 and 9:30pm again, like she used to but then slept until 4:45am and was up for the day, that's not a bad night but definitely a step backwards. Her naps used to be 1 hour in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon but she's been pushing the first nap later and later and it ends up being 20/30 mins then only 30-1 hour in the afternoon. I just feel like I can't do anything about it since we're moving in 5 days to Norway and we have close to 50 hours travel time and then a totally different time zone. These flights are going to be ROUGH. UGH!

Why don't you try doing one mid-day nap to see if you can get a longer sleep? She may be ready to transition to one.

Who knows, maybe the trip will re-set her sleep and she'll do great. That actually happened to C when we traveled for Christmas. It was weird!

 

[Noelle610]

Wanted to share this with you sleepy mamas https://starcrossedkayla.tumblr.com...ent-on-amazon-and-bought-all-the-top-books-on
Hope it makes you smile like it did me...

I loved this, it made me laugh out loud!

 

[Beankeeper]

Wanted to share this with you sleepy mamas https://starcrossedkayla.tumblr.com...ent-on-amazon-and-bought-all-the-top-books-on
Hope it makes you smile like it did me...

I loved this, it made me laugh out loud!

I probably should've put a warning on it to not read within hearing distance of sleeping baby as I laughed too!

 

[mellyboo]

Here's an update : .... Yesterday was my surgery day I had to wake up up at 545am
And she is usually up for the day around 7am or 8am I was seriously scared because our night time routine and morning routine is the only thing we had consistent about our days and I don't like taking them away from her at all I've worked way to hard to get this messed up .. I was like literally nervous and oh couldn't watch her he works nights so my mom had to drop me of at the hospital and bring Jords ... And then she was watching Jords until bed time and oh was going to pick her up but after oh got me at the hospital at 3 we just went there for supper and the evening anyway while I laid on the couch.. He had To go get my meds and etc too so was easier if we just stayed at moms and he went quickly to do those I had gallbladder surgery so I'm not allowed to lift her for a week because I could get a hernia I miss my baby cuddles terribly but she's okay with oh she loves him
To death there best buds and he knows how to do everything with her with minimal
Questions... So this is how her day went i got her up at 545 I didn't feed her she didn't wanna eat anyway I got her dressed and packed her food and breakfast in her bag and in decided she would have her bubba around 7am still
And her usual breakfast at 8 do I stuck with the same time as her routine even tho she was up and I got my mom to put her down for her Normal
Nap at 10am .. So she was up later before her usual first nap I guess she slept 1 hr and 30
Mins for my mom ( she has a pack and play there ) mom followed my routine loosely had another cat nap and she went to bed for oh around 630 woke up at 2am for 5 mins
And she was up at 7am (usual time) yay Jords did amazing ! ... I was so scared as would think 545 was acceptable for walking up i did have a hard
Time waking her up tho I kept poking her and she would
Roll over back sleep lmao I had to pick her up
To wake her out of her crib lol