Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[bananaz]

Sleep continues to be a mess for us. My mom has been staying over since Thursday night to help me sort it out but even with her assistance LO has still been up 3-4 times a night. It's been nice to have someone else to share the load though.

The 11pm waking is still the bane of my existence. Some nights all she needs is a backrub or to be handed her stuffed frog and she'll go back to sleep, but other nights she'll cry and be unable to settle until I nurse her back down.

We set up the video monitor last night and it was interesting to see that she really does try to resettle herself - she'll toss and turn and then hold still for a bit trying to go to sleep before she starts crying again. She did this for an hour and a half last night (with my mom going in regularly to try and soothe her) before I finally just fed her to sleep.

She has her 6 month check-up tomorrow so I'm going to talk to her pediatrician about it and see if he has any brilliant ideas, but I'm not feeling terribly optimistic at the moment

 

[Noelle610]

Shadowy - I have heard there is a hormonal component to postpartum insomnia! I think it's only natural that moms are kind of "on alert" when they have children, but sometimes it's hard to relax. I really hope you get some rest like you did the other night! Sounds like you have a great DH to care for you and that's awesome.

Bananaz, Charlotte eats two or three meals a day, can you believe it?! It's very strange... she also has 35 ounces or so of breast milk or formula. It's almost as if she's making up for lost time now that her reflux has relaxed a bit. She's only 14 pounds! We are seeing a new pediatrician next week and I'm curious to get his take on her night habits. My former pediatrician was really kind and understanding, but she never had definitive answers for me on the sleep issue. I'm curious to see what the new guy says. He's a very popular ped here in Baltimore, but kind of old-school.

Shadowy, there is a technique called "wake to sleep" that is sometimes suggested for habitual wakings. Basically, you would set your alarm for 1am, wake Sophia, and then settle her back to sleep. It sounds totally counter-intuitive IMO, but apparently it helps them transition through the waking they're conditioned to have. I think it supposedly takes a few days, so you'd likely be waking at 1am and 2am for the next week. Not sure I'd be up for that, but it might be worth a try!

 

[MrsPear]

Sleep continues to be unpredictable on our end. Last night was one of the better nights...she slept from 6:40-11:40! That is the first 5 hour stretch she has ever done. Then she had a 3 hour stretch. After that it went downhill, but that was not too bad!

Our bedtime keeps getting earlier though. Tonight we had to put her down at 6- she had her last nap at around 2:30 (only slept for 20 minutes) and would not go back down. Obviously she was so tired that we just had to put her down. Now it is 30 minutes later and she is fighting sleep. ugh

I start work this Tuesday- should be fun.

5 hours then three hours is great! I find it reassuring whenever joni has a good night like that even if it isn't repeated because it tells me she can do it.

Noelle I truly believe they will just one day STTN. Your lo is like joni- will have random good nights, so one day I reckon you will have a random FULL night sleep.

We had a terrible week this week. I was actually too sad and tired to write on here. We were up more than hourly. Then last night she slept 3 hours then 4 hours (then up every 20 minutes although she was settling back to sleep until 8am) so I feel a lot better.

Oh was so tired he went to get some washing out of the washing machine but arrived back in the room with no washing but wearing coat and shoes ready to go out! I couldn't stop laughing at him. And he's the one who sleeps through most of it!!!

Xx

 

[Noelle610]

MrsPear, sorry you had such a rough week! Very funny about your OH though... I'm hoping we can all look back on this time and laugh a little when we're getting more sleep.

 

[lysh]

We have not had another big 5 hr stretch of sleep since the other night. Instead she is waking every hour for the first 3 -4 hours. After that she is doing better with 3 hour stretches, but the beginning is hard. To top it off, last night we were giving her 5 minutes to see if she would resettle before going in and she managed to flip onto her stomach and get her two legs through the bars. Her cry changed and I heard DH running up the stairs (he had the video monitor). Needless to say we are making a trip today to get the mesh bumper pad. I could barely sleep the rest of the night as I kept checking the monitor.

Tomorrow I start back at work...trying to stay calm emotionally. Hopefully DD will gift me with a decent night.

Noelle- I am having a hard time spacing feedings. For the most part we have made it to 3 hour increments, but still unpredictable.

Bananaz- Good luck....the back and forth good nights/bad nights are exhausting!

Shadowylady- Not bad for your LO!!!!

 

[Noelle610]

Lysh, I hated that phase of rolling and flipping. UGH. It will pass... my LO is a tummy sleeper now. The mesh bumpers helped us a lot.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Bananaz - it's good that your mom is there are least. I think I may spend some time at my folks this week coz my DH has to work overtime. Good luck with the 6 months check, some paediatricians are gold, though mine is just meh...

Noelle - wow that method sounds more exhausting haha...I'll see if I have to resort to it. You're right I feel it may form another bad habit.

Lysh - eeek, my friends baby was doing that too. The mesh bumper pads really helped her though. I think I will go buy some from now lol!

So Sofia had another good night but her mommy didn't I took the melatonin at 8 after I put Sofia to bed and I went to sleep at 9. I did fall asleep quickly but I woke up randomly at 10, 11:30 and 12:45 :/ Not sure why..arghhhhh!!! Sofia only woke up at 3 am for a feed, ate and went back down till 7:00 am. I'm not sure if this Melatonin is working for me. It makes me sleepy but it doesn't stop the night wakings

 

[MrsPear]

Bananaz - it's good that your mom is there are least. I think I may spend some time at my folks this week coz my DH has to work overtime. Good luck with the 6 months check, some paediatricians are gold, though mine is just meh...

Noelle - wow that method sounds more exhausting haha...I'll see if I have to resort to it. You're right I feel it may form another bad habit.

Lysh - eeek, my friends baby was doing that too. The mesh bumper pads really helped her though. I think I will go buy some from now lol!

So Sofia had another good night but her mommy didn't I took the melatonin at 8 after I put Sofia to bed and I went to sleep at 9. I did fall asleep quickly but I woke up randomly at 10, 11:30 and 12:45 :/ Not sure why..arghhhhh!!! Sofia only woke up at 3 am for a feed, ate and went back down till 7:00 am. I'm not sure if this Melatonin is working for me. It makes me sleepy but it doesn't stop the night wakings

That is so annoying that you can't sleep even when sofia has a good night I sometimes feel that way too. I just hope (and for you too) that as our lo's get older they will be more predictable so we will not be so anxious and on high alert in the night. I feel so much better knowing other people have felt the same, I think everyone on here has had trouble sleeping, so stupid, we wait so long to get the chance then we lie awake waiting for them to wake up anyway!

Joni slept AMAZINGLY last night!! She pooped at 11so I changed her and fed her, and she must have been back asleep by 11:30, then next time was nearly 5am!!!!she has never ever done that before. I changed her nappy 3 times between 5am & 8am (she LOVES to poo) so there wasn't any more great sleep, but still, we made it to nearly six hours I am crossing my fingers that when we wean her she might (maybe? Hopefully?!) start pooping less because I don't think she would have woken at 11 or 5 otherwise.

After such an awful week last week, I am so cheered today.

 

[Noelle610]

That's GREAT MrsPear! Why is she pooping so much? Have you mentioned it to your ped? That certainly seems like a lot!

 

[MrsPear]

That's GREAT MrsPear! Why is she pooping so much? Have you mentioned it to your ped? That certainly seems like a lot!

I am not sure but I think that breastfeeding can go either way...it's normal for some breastfed babies to go days without because they are digesting it all and then others will never slow down after the newborn stage. I did see a thread in breastfeeding section a while ago called something like "whose baby has never stopped pooping after every feed" and there were quite a few people commenting on it...that was when joni was still newborn though so I smugly thought 'I'm sure she'll never be one of them.'...hahaha little did I know!!

 

[lysh]

mrspear- It is great you had a good night!

shadowy lady- I hope you can sleep soon- that has got to be so frustrating!

 

[Noelle610]

That's GREAT MrsPear! Why is she pooping so much? Have you mentioned it to your ped? That certainly seems like a lot!

I am not sure but I think that breastfeeding can go either way...it's normal for some breastfed babies to go days without because they are digesting it all and then others will never slow down after the newborn stage. I did see a thread in breastfeeding section a while ago called something like "whose baby has never stopped pooping after every feed" and there were quite a few people commenting on it...that was when joni was still newborn though so I smugly thought 'I'm sure she'll never be one of them.'...hahaha little did I know!!

Lucky you

One of the reasons I want to feed less at night - besides the obvious hope that she'll stop waking for it! - is that I think the gas and wet diapers that come along with it cause additional wakings.

 

[polaris]

That's GREAT MrsPear! Why is she pooping so much? Have you mentioned it to your ped? That certainly seems like a lot!

I am not sure but I think that breastfeeding can go either way...it's normal for some breastfed babies to go days without because they are digesting it all and then others will never slow down after the newborn stage. I did see a thread in breastfeeding section a while ago called something like "whose baby has never stopped pooping after every feed" and there were quite a few people commenting on it...that was when joni was still newborn though so I smugly thought 'I'm sure she'll never be one of them.'...hahaha little did I know!!

My son was like this, he always did lots of poos every day. My daughter is the opposite, she only has a poo about once a week now!

 

[Noelle610]

I'm tired today. Charlotte was up quite a bit last night - 10pm (feed), 12:30am (resettle), 3:30am (feed), multiple times between 5am and 6am. Much better than the hourly wakings we were suffering from when I started this thread, but I just wish things would turn a corner. I can't understand why her sleep hasn't really improved at all in 3 months. We just go back and forth.

I just got Ferber's book from the library, the latest edition. I'm skeptical it will help us, though, as she really can self-settle. I put her to bed awake almost every night. The only thing I can think of doing is further disassociating the feeding experience with sleep by giving her a bottle before her bath in our bedtime routine. I did skim the book last night and it has some gentle tips for night weaning, but I'm not entirely convinced she would sleep through if she wasn't eating at night. On a side note, I think it's interesting that Ferber gets such a bad rap. He does suggest controlled crying, but most of the book is pretty gentle. Even if you're not into CC, there's some good info on the "how" of babies' sleep.

The only thing I can think of that may be bothering her is reflux. We go to the ped today and I'm anxious to discuss it. It's also one of the reasons I'm anxious to night wean. I think that the more she eats at night, the more she is bothered by reflux, gas and wet diapers. I am of the belief that most babies need night feeds at least until around 9 months, but I think it's a vicious cycle for us. I just keep thinking about how yucky I feel going to bed right after eating a cheeseburger, since I have a sensitive stomach.

I just don't want to be tired anymore. I can't wait until this phase is over, even if she's five before that happens! Everyone keeps telling me, "Oh, you will still be tired when she's a teenager" or whatever, but surely one must feel well-rested if they can get 6 hours straight of sleep or whatever?! Those anecdotes are not really helpful LOL. I think it's very hard for people with "easy" babies to understand how difficult this is. Maybe I'm just sensitive, but I feel they must think I'm doing something "wrong". I hate getting advice these days. My DH's best friends let both of their kids CIO at 6 weeks old and are encouraging us to do so.

The lack of sleep has been so stressful on my relationship. I have an awesome husband, but he's convinced that CIO is the way to go right now. I think he just sees how difficult the sleepless nights are for me and he "wants our life back". He feels sleep training will achieve this. He misses me being energetic and excited about my job. He misses spending time with me at night since I often go to bed at 7:30pm! I'm not against sleep training, but until we get night feeds and reflux resolved I don't think it's the appropriate solution for us.

 

[jessicatunnel]

Noelle, I'm so sorry you had a rough night. I've suggested CC for Lilly and we tried it once and neither hubby or I could go through with it, I just don't think that or CIO is the solution for us. I've been thinking about night weaning Lilly, but like you, I think she will just wake up because she's hungry. It's so hard to tell because some nights she drinks her whole bottle(s), some night she only has two oz. Maybe that's the sign telling me I shouldn't wean her off of night feedings yet?

As for our night last night, she went to bed at 7:30pm (Later than normal because she had a late nap) and she woke five times before 11pm. She went back to sleep at 11:10pm, and slept until FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. :happy dance: I feel so rested! She had her bottle at 5am, and slept until 7:30am where she was up for the day.

Also she's been waking up when I put her down lately, but she looks around, wiggles a little, and goes back to sleep without my help. YAY!

 

[katrinalorien]

Noelle - I haven't been on lately so I haven't seen everyone's progress/regression but I feel you about this. Lately with all the traveling (and today we have shot day!) Last night was awful, and I feel like I have no life again! Of course, min is only 4 months, not 6, but I plan on talking to the ped today when we go as well. Although I can't really start anything today because of the shots. It always seems like there is something... But like you I can put Lily down awake (although its only sometimes, not all the time) and she will self settle but it doesn't matter, she wakes anyway.

I hope the holidays haven't messed anyone else's schedule up. I really don't know what we're going to do, I really want to stop cosleeping but its the only way I get any sleep. Thankfully for my birthday my DH got me the angelcare monitor, because Lily sleeps on her stomach and I wasn't sleeping, just holding my hand over her monitoring her breathing. I know the angelcare doesn't prevent SIDS but it does basically constantly monitor breathing.

Ah well we have our ped appointment today, so I will talk to him about it. He doesn't expect babies to sleep through till 6 months, but surely he expects more than 45 min at a time. (Although as I'm typing this, she's doing her final "night sleep" and its been at least an hour and a half)

I actually think SHE sleeps better without me, her room is a little warmer and I don't let her sleep on her stomach when she co-sleeps.

Anyway good luck everyone, sorry for the long post

 

[Noelle610]

Jessica, what a wonderful night! So glad you got a long stretch of sleep. That's awesome.

Katrina, I really hope your ped is helpful. It's hard when they are not in your shoes and don't understand how desperate you must feel.

I just got back from our appointment. The good news is that Charlotte is doing GREAT on all of her milestones and weight gain in particular, which is so nice considering her reflux. The pediatrician told us absolutely not to feed her between midnight and 5am. He said any time outside this window was fine, but that we should try comforting her in other ways in that midnight to 5am window. He feels she'll stop waking if we do tihs, but I'm not so sure! I guess we can give it a go and see how she does.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Jessica - glad you finally got a bit of a break. Hope it continues on for you guys.

Noelle - seems reasonable to me about the lack of feeding between 12-5. My ped said the same thing would apply for Sofia when she's 4months+. Also I agree about Ferber's book. I do not understand why he gets such bad rep, I'm quite enjoying his book in fact though haven't used any of the methods yet (Sofia's too young). Ferber is incredibly popular in Ottawa, Canada where I live btw.

Katrina - good luck with your pedi appt, I keep my fingers crossed for you guys.

Sofia had an ok night, not as good as previous night though. She went down at 8 pm, but needed her soother at 11:15 pm. Then she slept till 1:30 am when she needed to feed. After that down till 5:00 am. So ya not as great as usual but not terrible. The good news is I had a much better time. I slept on the opposite side of the bed so I couldn't check her monitor so I actually slept until she woke up each time I feel much more rested today and looking forward to my boot camp this afternoon.

Tonight I'll be staying with my folks (and tomorrow night as well) as DH is working overtime. Hope the transition from crib to Pack n Play won't affect Sofia's sleep.

 

[katrinalorien]

Shadowy - So glad you got some sleep!! I will have to get Lily used to a pack n play too, later, when we go on vacation. I'm really really nervous about it!

Noelle - hope that advice works for you, at least she will get used to eating at those times, and maybe you will be able to find another way to soothe her to sleep.

Jessica - sounds like things are definitely going in the right direction for you.

Got back from the ped appointment. I tried to put it really nicely, and he said not to feed her every hour, but to find another way to get her back to sleep, and warned me that she would really really fuss. He said I could fight this battle now or later, but it would be easier to fight it now, because I'm more likely to win. He told me to do this during the day AND night, and that if I want her to stop waking to nurse back to sleep, then I have to just stop nursing her to sleep, and it will break itself. He's really a nice guy, but he did tell me that if she's feeding every 3 hours or so during the day, she probably needs it at night too. The only thing is that I don't know if she IS feeding that much during the day, since she really only feeds right before a nap. Anyway, if I stop feeding her to sleep I suppose that what she really needs will show itself.

 

[bananaz]

I just got back from our appointment. The good news is that Charlotte is doing GREAT on all of her milestones and weight gain in particular, which is so nice considering her reflux. The pediatrician told us absolutely not to feed her between midnight and 5am. He said any time outside this window was fine, but that we should try comforting her in other ways in that midnight to 5am window. He feels she'll stop waking if we do tihs, but I'm not so sure! I guess we can give it a go and see how she does.

That's interesting. So he thinks it's okay to feed before midnight? Did he say why that particular window?

I also was surprised about what a bad rap Ferber gets after I read his book (and I read the old version, I've heard the new version is even gentler). There was a lot of useful info in there and I thought he was actually quite thoughtful and sensitive when it came to the CC discussion.

Elsie had her 6 month appointment yesterday, and her new pediatrician recommended gradually lengthening my initial response time to her wakings, starting with 15 minutes and then adding 5-15 minutes every night. He said after that I can go in and soothe her like usual. So I guess it's kind of a toned-down version of Ferber? He also said that at 6 months she doesn't need to eat at all during the night and that she has me "trained" right now

Last night was rough. She woke at 11:30 and she just wouldn't settle - it would seem like she was going to sleep but then she'd pop awake a couple minutes later. I watched on the video monitor as she literally did laps around the perimeter of her crib! At 12:30 I gave in and fed her for a few minutes. She was still awake when I put her back down and she squawked a little but then she FINALLY went back to sleep and stayed down until 3.

She eats well during the day and goes down with a full belly so I know I shouldn't keep feeding her so early in the night but how long am I supposed to let her cry while I try to soothe her other ways? I'm pretty sure she could go for 2+ hours at least.