Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[aliss]

Once upon a time when I was originally in baby club, somebody (who I love, but I must tell this story) complained that her 6 week old still woke for 1 feed and how to drop that feed?

True story.

 

[aliss]

Hooray for a great night!!

Mine was both the best and worst 8:30-3am (with feeds at 8, 12, 3, simple and quick) and then at 3 he just SCREAMED, for 2.5 hours It was awful. He's asleep now for 30 minutes, with OH, I ended up leaving the room as I was getting so upset and angry that I thought it was one of those "....walk away" moments I need to buy gripe water today, I think it would have taken care of it before he got upset & overtired.

Oh and changing the naked toddler who peed everywhere at 12. AGAIN. EVERY FREAKIN NIGHT. I don't know what to do anymore.

Yes when OH took Joni last night, that was definitely a walk away moment. I went back up 20 minutes later to take over again, and he refused to give her back. She does settle better for me but to his credit, he tried different things until she fell asleep and then came to collect me from underneath my duvet and made me a drink

Thank goodness for walk away! I can't imagine being a single mom, I have so much respect for them.

 

[bananaz]

I think the main problem is being over tired. OH normally comes home right about the time she is drifting to sleep and naturally it's hard for him to be so quiet that she doesn't wake up. And I feel really bad for him because he leaves before she wakes and doesn't get to see her some days. So she hears him, wakes up, and before I know it, it's like we missed 'the window' and she's too tired to get herself to sleep. I try to get her in bed before he gets home, but he comes between 6:45 and 7:30 and that's really right when she drifts off.

She doesn't nap well either. She never ever naps more than 45 minutes. Today she has been up about 3.5 hours and I've managed to squeeze two 10-15 minute naps out. She wakes up refreshed and bright eyed, but quickly gets ratty, so I don't think she has any pain, just tired.

I suppose I could try cutting out caffiene? Do you think that could help her sleep better? It'll be hard work though!!! But if it worked I would do it!!!! x

That's a tough situation. Do you use white noise? Maybe that could help insulate her against the sound of OH coming home?

And cutting out caffeine is definitely worth a try. I know it affects my LO (which sucks because I could really use some these days!)

 

[bananaz]

Once upon a time when I was originally in baby club, somebody (who I love, but I must tell this story) complained that her 6 week old still woke for 1 feed and how to drop that feed?

True story.

Sometimes I look over my sleep data and gaze longingly at those bygone one-waking nights... le sigh

 

[katrinalorien]

Hooray for a great night!!

Mine was both the best and worst 8:30-3am (with feeds at 8, 12, 3, simple and quick) and then at 3 he just SCREAMED, for 2.5 hours It was awful. He's asleep now for 30 minutes, with OH, I ended up leaving the room as I was getting so upset and angry that I thought it was one of those "....walk away" moments I need to buy gripe water today, I think it would have taken care of it before he got upset & overtired.

Oh and changing the naked toddler who peed everywhere at 12. AGAIN. EVERY FREAKIN NIGHT. I don't know what to do anymore.

Yup.. I have those moments. They always seem to come at 2 am or something, yeah? After an hour's screaming session? Try not to feel bad, you did the right thing and walked away.

 

[Noelle610]

MrsPear, I think you are so right about the unpredictability. A friend with a formerly "bad" sleeper just suggested the same. She said it probably took a month after her baby was sleeping consistantly well to do the same.

Bananaz, it was more of a "fuss". I don't usually give her the opportunity to cry and get worked up as it just escalates in the way you described! I HATE the long wakings in the night. Getting up to feed is one thing, but when they're wide awake it's very, very frustrating.

Aliss, I don't think some people realize how good they've got it! It's hard not to wish that their next babies are "high needs". I know that sounds so spiteful! When we were going through hourly wakings during the 4 month regression, I had a friend complaining about going from one to two night wakings. That was hard.

 

[katrinalorien]

Once upon a time when I was originally in baby club, somebody (who I love, but I must tell this story) complained that her 6 week old still woke for 1 feed and how to drop that feed?

True story.

Sometimes I look over my sleep data and gaze longingly at those bygone one-waking nights... le sigh

Yeah.... me too...

 

[Noelle610]

I also have a lovely friend with a baby who STTN since 6 weeks old who is always compaining about being tired. Love that girl, but I'm the wrong person to rant to about sleep!

 

[katrinalorien]

MrsPear, I think you are so right about the unpredictability. A friend with a formerly "bad" sleeper just suggested the same. She said it probably took a month after her baby was sleeping consistantly well to do the same.

Bananaz, it was more of a "fuss". I don't usually give her the opportunity to cry and get worked up as it just escalates in the way you described! I HATE the long wakings in the night. Getting up to feed is one thing, but when they're wide awake it's very, very frustrating.

Aliss, I don't think some people realize how good they've got it! It's hard not to wish that their next babies are "high needs". I know that sounds so spiteful! When we were going through hourly wakings during the 4 month regression, I had a friend complaining about going from one to two night wakings. That was hard.

Noelle you can also try that zzzzquil stuff for a while, its that new stuff on the market. As soon as Lily is sleeping better that's what I'm going to do!! Because I wake up when DH gets around in the morning.

 

[Noelle610]

Thanks Katrina, I may try that! I'm going to see my midwife soon about weaning from the pump and birth control, so I will mention the sleep thing.

 

[katrinalorien]

I think the main problem is being over tired. OH normally comes home right about the time she is drifting to sleep and naturally it's hard for him to be so quiet that she doesn't wake up. And I feel really bad for him because he leaves before she wakes and doesn't get to see her some days. So she hears him, wakes up, and before I know it, it's like we missed 'the window' and she's too tired to get herself to sleep. I try to get her in bed before he gets home, but he comes between 6:45 and 7:30 and that's really right when she drifts off.

She doesn't nap well either. She never ever naps more than 45 minutes. Today she has been up about 3.5 hours and I've managed to squeeze two 10-15 minute naps out. She wakes up refreshed and bright eyed, but quickly gets ratty, so I don't think she has any pain, just tired.

I suppose I could try cutting out caffiene? Do you think that could help her sleep better? It'll be hard work though!!! But if it worked I would do it!!!! x

Goodness, that is tough. Sometimes Lily still only takes 45 min naps, but it is getting better, the more she is able to self settle, the longer naps she is taking. I hope it gets better for you soon...

 

[katrinalorien]

As for me we had a weird night. She went down at about 8:00, and I didn't nurse her down at all, I made sure she had eaten at 7, she took about 5 min to settle. Then she woke up at 1:00, so I fed her because it had been 3 hrs since she had eaten and of course she was out right away after eating. But what can you do? I still need to feed her, she's so used to that. Then she woke up at 3:00, and I got up to feed her, but she was asleep by the time I got to the door. So I went back to sofa and laid down but then crying again. And I had stood at the door for a good 2 min! Rinse and repeat 3 times and then she was out. Oh well.... Then she woke at 4 and I fed her. Then I had a dream she was crying and I woke up to go get her, but she wasn't actually crying... and I still wonder if I slept through her crying or something? I feel pretty awful about it. Then she woke up at 5 but self settled in less than 1 min, and then was up for the day at 7:15. So really a pretty good night in a way, she self settled a lot, but just strange.

 

[Noelle610]

Sounds like a decent night Katrina! I wouldn't stress about sleeping through her crying. My pediatrician actually suggested I turn of our baby monitor, since Charlotte sleeps right accross the hall from us. We even have a fan on for white noise (for the adults!). Reflux babies are particularly loud. My ped said, "If your baby needs you, you will hear her". I think this is true. A delayed response isn't bad either, for a baby that's not a newborn. They often can self-soothe a bit if given even a small opportunity.

Re: Naps. They do get longer. It's taken time, but we're finally seeing naps between one and two hours. I think it just happens with age, as babies mature.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Katrina - sounds like your nights are improving, go mamma!

Mrs Pear - I have my fingers crossed for you, best of luck tonight!

Noelle - we have Sofia's monitor off too as eventhough she's in her own room, it's so close that I hear her anyway. I've slept slightly better since we turned off the monitor.

We had a weird night also. She went down at 8 pm and woke up at 1:30 am for her first feed. I nursed her and she slept but she woke up again at 3:15 am but just for her pacifier. I would say she woke up 3 times after that and I ran to give her the pacifier to get her to sleep. She finally fell asleep at around 3:45 am till about 7 am this morning when she was hungry.

I def see that her pacifier is the problem here as she is not hungry and has become too dependent on it. I really need to wean her off of it. I also need her to start napping in her crib (right now she naps in her swing, again with the pacifier). Do you guys think I should start with proper night time routine or nap time ones? Or should I do both at the same time? By routine I mean eliminating the pacifier...

 

[Noelle610]

Shadowy, I'd just get rid of the pacifier cold turkey. It will be a rough few days, but my understanding is that babies adjust quickly to the change. It sounds like it's becoming an issue.

The napping in the crib thing happened for us around 4 months, and then only sometimes. We used the swing too. I don't have much adivce accept "keep trying". Once my LO got on more of a nap routine (napping at the same time every day), it seemed easier. She will get there!

 

[katrinalorien]

Yeah I'd do cold turkey. That's what my ped reccomended for nursing to sleep as well, and Lily is really learning to self settle quickly I think.

 

[katrinalorien]

for the long journey though!! I'm so sorry about it!

 

[bananaz]

katrina - I'm glad you had a good night! Like Noelle said, I wouldn't worry about sleeping through her crying. As long as you're not drinking heavily or taking any strong sedating medications before bed I'm sure you'll wake if she needs you.

MrsPear - My girl also only took 25-45 minute naps for a looooong time but suddenly over the past few weeks they've started lengthening out and now they're usually 1-2 hours at a time! I didn't do anything differently, I think her sleep patterns are just starting to mature so those little chunks of sleep are consolidating. Hopefully the same thing will happen for your LO

 

[katrinalorien]

A little off topic, but have you noticed how many of us on this thread live in the U.S.? Its just different for this forum!

 

[jessicatunnel]

Bananaz, do you still swaddle Elsie? We sometimes still do because frankly she still really needs it at times. We swaddle her 50% of the time and keep her umswaddled the other 50%.
I made another thread that I was watching her nap earlier and she still has her startle reflex which is another reason why I think she wakes up a lot.

Two nights ago she went back to waking every 2 hours or so, then last night she slept a four hour stretch. So her sleep is still allllll over the place.