Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[stephie_corin]

It's funny, lately he's been sleeping very well from like 9pm-8am, basically when I'm in bed with him. (Probably cursed myself now though, great)

It's any time I'm NOT with him like naps or evenings that are ridiculous.

Could sep anxiety cause that!?! He's impossible to get off the boob and into the crib!

Ahhhhhhh!

Cully is like this too! I was getting a 4 hour stretch but no more; I have to lie with him for naps and its up and down every 45 minutes until I go to bed! Gaia hang in there, you can do this. I echo SE - you are strong and doing an amazing job!! I have a couple of degrees too, and work as a lawyer in a high stress job. Baby = much more work and stress!

It's positive he is sleeping well at night, but it doesn't make days easier.... Was he hungry or tired in the car? Or just out of sorts? one day you will look back on this and the sleep deprivation and stress will be a warm, fuzzy memory.

SE, no teeth here but I have a very miserable baby who thinks 2-4 am is the best time for a non-stop crying session. I'm sure one will pop through soon?!? How about you? Any teeth for Munchkin?

 

[gaiagirl]

He was tired, I stopped three times and he wasn't into nursing but I definitely planned the drive over nap hoping he would sleep...which he did after exhausting himself screaming. It was so awful, definitely a good reminder for me that there is no way I could do sleep training that involved not picking him up. Every cell in my body was screaming to pull over and cuddle him...which I did and it made the drive that much longer! Argh!

Sorry about your MOTN party! Poor C! Hope one breaks soon and faster and more efficient than for F!

 

[stephie_corin]

Gaia you poor thing. How stressful for you. In some ways I'm lucky that c won't nap in the car - it takes a lot of planning but we are never in the car when he is tired or hungry if we can help it. We have a lot of quick outings! Sending you lots of hugs mamma. You'll get through this!!! X

 

[stephie_corin]

I have a quick question about naps - I can control Culver's naps to some extent by rocking or feeding him back to sleep. Each day varies though - some days it's 2 x 1 hour nap, sometimes a short one in the morning and a long one in the afternoon or vice versa. Is there an optimum napping pattern? Say, am I better giving him a good morning sleep and a shorter afternoon nap? Or should I just go with the flow? Sometimes his afternoon nap can go 2+ hours and my intuition tells me this is too long so close to bed!? Thanks!

 

[AmyS]

Seaweed - Thanks for the hugs, much needed! Chloe is very cuddly during the day too. It's just those silly night wakings, and I think I figured out, that it's only when she's overtired that the night wakings are that bad. I put her to bed earlier last night, and we had a much better night all the way around.

Gaiagirl - Hope things start getting better soon! That sounds rough! I would have pulled over to cuddle too, I can't bear to listen to Chloe cry for too long. And I have to say - Wow, math and science! That's impressive!

Stephie - Glad cosleeping is going well for you! Chloe does not like it when I try to lay her down in bed with me in the morning. She prefers it if I stay awake rocking her in the chair while looking down lovingly at her...haha. (Have I ever mentioned that she's a diva? I'm sure I'll be peeling grapes for her someday.)

As for naps, will it depend on the baby? I have a friend with a 9 month old that cat naps in the morning and takes a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon (from 1-3 or 4), then goes to bed at 8pm. That seems to work for them. I think if I could get Chloe on a good schedule though, she would do better with a more even split - 1 1/2 in the morning and the same in the pm. She gets too cranky on cat naps.
_________

To bed early last night, and we had a better night. Not the best, but definitely doable! I am still working on my upcoming sleep training plan. I'm trying to WIO a bit, to see if we are working our way out of wonder week 26 yet, and I didn't want to start last night when I was exhausted. But, I'm sure that's where we are headed. I'm leaning towards the Sleep Lady Shuffle. I think that would work better than trying to go slowly with Chloe. I've been learning a lot about her personality over the past few weeks!

 

[seaweed eater]

Aww Gaia, I'm so sorry. It is so awful to see them scream until they exhaust themselves.

Stephie, I'm really sorry you are having MOTN parties (well, "parties"). That is such a tough time to be awake with an unhappy baby. No teeth here either! To your question about naps, I think they eventually drop the first nap, so a shorter first and longer second nap probably puts them in the best position to do that, but that's a long way off. Personally I just go with the flow. As long as the WT after the second nap is sufficient, I don't think it's a problem in terms of bedtime to have that be the long one. But I would cap any single nap at 2 hours anyway.

Amy, I'm glad to hear you had a better night! Overtired really does make things worse. I really hope the Sleep Lady Shuffle works well for you if you end up needing to try it.

 

[gaiagirl]

Thanks ladies. Better day so far. Sticking close to home and REALLLLY trying to nail down this 2 nap thing. Plus early bed...which I'm super nervous about because it has NOT been working lately.

So far:

Up at 7:15
Nap 9:45-? He woke at 10:30 clearly tired so I rocked him and he's asleep on me now at 11:15.

Nap 2 around? 2:30 or 3 maybe? Hopefully until 4...

Bed at 7:30/8...

That's the plan!!!!!!!!

 

[seaweed eater]

Sounds good I hope it goes well!!

 

[stephie_corin]

Amy, so glad you had a slightly better night! I'll keep my fingers crossed you see the end of ww26 soon!this is such a great age when you start to see their little individual quirks come through! Thanks for the nap info... I think Cully tends to do better on an even split too.

Gaia, sounds like a great plan! It's not ideal having to hold them for naps but at least they get the sleep they need. See if you can find a comfortable way to hold him so you can close your eyes and rest. I've been holding my little man since 4 am and every time I shift to get comfortable he wakes good luck! I do hope he gets used to 2 naps, you'll have so much more freedom in the day!

SE, Munchkin will have one tooth and Cully will have two teeth until they start university at this rate! Thanks for the napping info my friend. My dilemma is that he sometimes wakes at 530 for the day, takes a short am nap and then leaves me with the choice of extending his last nap or doing bedtime at 4pm. Lol. Once he gets past the 1.75 hour mark he seems to slip into a really deep sleep and his hard to wake. I agree though, over 2 hours is just too long. It's interesting what you say about dropping naps. I might try and encourage this napping pattern but do a catnap in the morning and aim for 1.5ish in the afternoon.

No MOTN parties here but lots of wakeups, he just seems very unsettled at the moment.

 

[gaiagirl]

Stephie thats good to not be up for long periods but hoping he feels more settled soon, those nights tire me out when baby is constantly restless.

Last night it was my DH that was restless! I had to kick him out at 4:30 because he was disturbing F and I sooooo much! Lol. The baby slept much better than him!

Naps went great today. 9:30-11 and 2:30-4. Doing bed now at 7:45 and he's out, I'm just lying with him in my bed.

I think I've been trying to transfer him or unlatch and leave too early lately. He had a phase where he was SO easy to put down that I got used to it and now I get antsy and impatient so much sooner! But I'm going to just relax and lay here awhile and try to sneak away later...much better than a bedtime battle!

My dilemma now is that he's getting mobile! He's super slow and vocal so I always hear on the monitor as soon as he's awake BUT I feel nervous about leaving him in my bed!

I have a foam magic bumper on one side and I pile pillows on the other, but still...the clock is ticking on how long this solution will work!

 

[seaweed eater]

Stephie, what about a mini catnap in the afternoon on those days? Like 10-15 minutes. And I'd aim for maybe a slightly shorter than usual last WT in that case. So if you usually do 3.5 hours and put him down at 6:30, then try to start the catnap around 3-3:30 or as close as possible. I'm just completely making all this up, obviously! But when Munchkin has two short/early naps I let him sleep a few minutes extra in the car and usually we end up with about the right bedtime.

Come to think of it, I don't know whether adding a catnap is really better than letting the second nap go on for too long! My intuition is that it is, but I'm not sure. Anyone else have thoughts?

Gaia, I'm sure people bedshare past when their babies start crawling, right? You know a lot more about this than I do. What do people do if they don't have a cosleeper? Funny how you have to get just the right timing for unlatching! I'm glad naps and earlier bedtime went so well today hope it translates into a good night!

 

[stephie_corin]

Gaia that's awesome!! So happy for you! Sounds like a perfect day! Is it possible for you to put your mattress on the floor? We've done that and I feel so much more comfortable knowing any fall won't be too bad.

SE, I agree, I should just go for a cat nap instead of unnaturally prolonging his naps. 1.5 seems to be a sweet spot for him. Longer than this and he falls into a really deep, almost unwakeable sleep! The only problem is I don't know how I would get him down. He nurses to sleep and I've tried offering him breastfeeds in the afternoon and he refuses... But it's worth a shot next time I need him to go longer than 3.5 hours for a reasonable bed time! Thanks for the advice, as always!

 

[gaiagirl]

Stephie I'm kinda in denial about him just not going back to his easy crib transfer days, lol. I will put the mattress on the floor (SE that's what ppl do) but I don't want to!

Crib for naps and evenings was awesome...sighhhhhhh.

So interesting evening. He crashed but kept nursing on and off for an hour so I stayed. Then I left and he woke up 15 min later...uh ohhhh I was thinking.

But I nursed again and he got nice and sleepy then rolled over, fidgeted a bit, rolled onto his tummy and went to sleep! It's been almost 2 hours now and he's still out

 

[AmyS]

Yesterday was a perfect day for Chloe. She was super happy at daycare, she had 2 naps - an hour in the morning, and 2 hours in the afternoon. Her last wake time before bedtime was 3.5 hours. And then, she woke up 5 minutes after I put her down, became hysterical, took forever to settle, and then was basically up all night. I just don't get it!!

I'm so tired today. I'm going to do a few things at work and then go home and sleep for a few hours. I am so sick!!! Colds hang around forever when you can't get enough rest.

Hope everyone else is doing well or doing better at least! I will have to go back and read what's going on after my looooong nap.

 

[stephie_corin]

Gaia, can you side car the cot so he still has his own space? Here's to a great night for you!

Amy, I'm so sorry. You're having such a hard time at the moment. I think a nap is a great idea. I hope your cold gets better soon. Are you still using the rock and play or gone back to the cot? Did you say you were on a mattress on her floor at the moment? I wonder if you could lie with her in the mattress and transfer her once she is in a deeper sleep? She might want more mummy time? Could it be teething? I know sometimes these things just can't be explained. How long does she usually nap at daycare? I had one of those 'perfect' days yesterday but Culver slept soooo badly last night. Today I've actually tried to limit his day sleep to 2 hours total (in the hope he will do 12 at night!). Maybe you could play around with her day sleep on the weekend and if you get a combination that works, you could ask daycare to follow the same pattern?

As for us, I got C up after his first waking for his first nap (so around 45 minutes) and he slept about 1.15 in the afternoon. I'm hopeful this will help his night sleep tonight but who knows?! I've also put him in a long sleeved sleep suit because I was worried he wanted to be held because he felt cold. I dress him for our room temperature according to the guidelines but his arms usually feel a bit chilly. We shall see.

I hope everyone has a good night xxx

 

[seaweed eater]

Gaia, I hope the rest of the night went well

Amy, so sorry you had a rough night so discouraging when the day went well and your expectations are high (as they should be)! I hope you're enjoying your nap right now and that you feel better soon. Hopefully it's just a one off and tonight is better.

Stephie, I'm sorry you had a bad night too I hope limiting his WT ends up helping! I probably overdress Munchkin relative to the guidelines, but his arms always feel cold in the morning if he's not in long sleeves, so I use short sleeves only when it's unusually warm. There's also a relatively large difference between lows and highs here in the summer. I imagine it's the same where you live.

 

[gaiagirl]

Im sorry Amy and Stephie! Rough nights suck There is no way around it.

Stephie I hope your plan works!

Amy, I hope the nap helped...

I would like to leave his crib in his room and keep attempting to get him in there, but I may consider flooring the mattress (we have a King so space isn't a huge issue).

Nervous about naps today but determined to keep on track!

PS He ended up doing 9pm-1am after that last resettling Night was average after that!

 

[stephie_corin]

Plan = fail.

He was up several times before I went to bed at 10. At 1015 PM we had nappy leak. He's been up every 25 minutes since then and then wide awake at 1 AM. It's now past 2 AM and I've been rocking him and soothing him nonstop. I just gave a dose of paracetamol and now trying to nurse him down for the 100th time. I'm tired, angry at him and angry at myself for not being more patient. This is one of the tougher nights I've had in a while. I hope everyone else is having a better night than us!

 

[gaiagirl]

Stephie!!!!! Hugs xxxxxxxxx

Nappy leak that early hey!? I know a diaper change wakes F up totally, it's awful. Maybe try disposable with cloth and cover over top!? Do you use cloth at all?

Up every 25 min DEFINITELY sounds like discomfort or pain, not even a full sleep cycle.

I really hope C settles and you get some solid rest even 1-2 hours tonight.

 

[seaweed eater]

Oh no, ouch. That is so rough, Stephie. Hope it gets much, much better!