Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[AmyS]

Stephie - Sorry for the rough night! Sounds awful! It's hard not to be mad when you think you've done everything right. Hang in there with me!

 

[Noelle610]

for tough nights. At these moments it always helped me most to stop over analyzing and just chalk it up to a ad night. Grown ups have them too!

 

[stephie_corin]

Thanks everyone. Gaia, I haven't tried cloth - I don't have any of the new structured cloth nappies just the old fashioned squares. I wonder if I could wrap one over the top of his nappy. If he leaks its usually before midnight. He takes a huge feed at the end of the day.

He's all smiles this morning. I know we've all felt like this but I definitely win worst parent award last night. My poor baby.

I think you're right Noelle. I won't overanalyse x

 

[seaweed eater]

You do not win worst parent award!!! No no no. You may have felt frustrated and angry, but you got through it and so did he! And as you said he's all smiles this morning. He knows how much you love and care about him!

Where do you usually get the leaks? Is it in the same place? Do you also have diaper covers or just the cloth squares? If the leaks are in the front or back, you could trifold the diaper and put it inside the cover (if you have one). If the leaks are on the side then you could fold it over and fasten it (it's easy to find websites that will show you how), but the square would have to be pretty big to fit over the disposable and fasten around his legs.

You could also buy a wool cover and put that over the sposie. They supposedly absorb AND keep dry. We have one and I haven't yet dared to use it, but it seems comfy and I bet it would work really well.

 

[gaiagirl]

I have a wool cover, as long as its lanolized it works great!!!!!

 

[stephie_corin]

Thanks SE and Gaia. I'm going hunting for a wool cover or maybe even some proper cloth nappies this weekend. Is cloth better than disposables for leaks at night? It's always the same spot that leaks - the side where the nappy fastens together. Last night we did nappy, pjs and sleeping bag change which probably contributed to his inability to get back to sleep.

I actually feel really ashamed when I think back about last night. I usually manage to fight through it not feeling too resentful but I spoke sharply to him and he's just a little baby. Argh! Don't worry, I'm just venting. I know we've all been there... X

 

[gaiagirl]

Hugs xxxx I hate feeling that way too, it's awful.

Cloth is not really better, I use a disposable and cloth together! Lol. Maybe one day when he only eats once or twice overnight I will try cloth only

You can find lots of good cloth advice on the Natural Parenting page (or ask me, I've learned a lot this year about it!).

 

[NotNic]

Stephie - that sounds like a teething night. Big hugs to you. As for leaks there I'd suggest going up a size or trying out an active fit nappy. They have bigger sides and are more flexible. We use active fit for daytime and baby dry at night because his leaks at the front

 

[mellyboo]

We got to our vacation destination yesterday 9 hour drive ... She took her naps at her normal times on her own accord didn't sleep no less no more she got super cranky at times in the car prob bored we stopped loads for her ...let her crawl around the room as soon as we got here with toys then went for a walk for some fresh air! ...... Putting her to bed was a nightmare she started crying a bit I let her I think it was because she was like I no you were in here she kept trying to stand in the pack and plAy to see us after 1. 5 hours she finally fell asleep the time difference here is diff by an hour but we are still going with are time back home I went to bed with her . ..she slept all night only woke up once but oh woke us from talking in his sleep so loud scared the crap out of me!

 

[AmyS]

Stephie - I've had those moments too, when I've gotten too frustrated and spoken a little too harshly! It's hard not to feel guilty about it. I have no diaper advice for you, because I know little boys can pee through anything, haha!
_____

Chloe has decided to not fall asleep on the bottle anymore at night now! That's a good thing, but I'm not ready to sleep train yet until I get over this cold. I put her in her crib last night (awake) just to see what she would do, and she scooted around so she was vertical in her crib to see me. I straightened her out, and she scooted around again. So, what do you do when you're sleep training? Leave them like that? She was kicking her feet against one side, and about ready to hit her head on the other side. I did take her out when she got too angry and rocked her to sleep.

She actually slept most of the night. I woke up at 2:30 and couldn't get back to sleep! She woke up at 4am, I fed her, and when I was putting her back down, she woke up again and was grinning at me and kicking her feet. I put her in bed with me then, not thinking she'd go back to sleep, but she whispered to herself for about a minute, then snuggled up and passed out! I couldn't believe it.

 

[stephie_corin]

Melly enjoy your holiday! It sounds like she is doing really well

Amy, what a great night! I'm happy for you! It definitely sounds like positive progress what kind of sleep training have you decided on? I'm not sure of the answer to your positioning in the crip question but I'm sure one of the others will help.

Thanks everyone for the diaper advice! We will get a range of diapers to try this weekend and I'll report back!

 

[AmyS]

Stephie - Gradual withdrawal will be the method. I'm still working out the details. As I said, I'm not sure what to do when she scoots herself around to put her head up against me. I will probably start tonight since we both had a good night of sleep and she has stopped falling asleep on the bottle!

 

[stephie_corin]

Oh good!! I'll be watching closely. I wasn't sure if you changed your mind. Good luck tonight!! SE said her first night was pretty tough from memory but things got better quickly. Hopefully she logs on and can give you some advice xxx

 

[seaweed eater]

Hugs Stephie, we've all had those moments! Don't be hard on yourself

Melly, sounds like Jordyn is doing great on your trip! Glad to hear it

Amy, I would just leave her when she turns herself around. She can roll both ways, right? If she's touching you with her head, just move away a little so that you're nearby but there's no contact. And don't make eye contact. I don't even intervene when Munchkin gets mad and bumps his head by "jumping" on one side of the crib (if that makes sense) -- I figure it's under his control, so he can stop if he wants to, and I don't want to reinforce it by giving him attention. As long as Chloe's not physically stuck I don't think there's any reason to intervene.

Your night sounds like it went really well! I imagine she will take well to the sleep training. Our first night was miles better than I was expecting, but it might have been a little scary if I hadn't had the horrible prior experience with CC to compare it to -- he did cry for about half an hour and was quite worked up. But it also would have been shorter if he'd been able to roll tummy to back on his own and I hadn't had to flip him over. (We did have a tough extinction burst nights 4-6 that was a lot worse than nights 1-3, but hopefully you won't have that experience -- most people don't!)

 

[AmyS]

SE - That's exactly what she was doing, jumping on one side of the crib! She can roll both ways and scoot everywhere, so I'm not worried she'll get stuck any one way. Did you have any hysterical crying?? I'm afraid she'll start doing that, and then I'm not sure what I should do to comfort her. When she gets like that, it takes me forever to get her settled, even when I'm holding her. Does he have a lovey? I'm not sure if I should introduce one or not. Hubby isn't comfortable with her sleeping with anything yet.

I did try this one time a couple months ago for one nap. She didn't cry too much, but it took an hour for her to fall asleep. I have no idea why I stopped, or why I started with a nap.

 

[freddie]

Aw Stephie sounds like you had a horrible night! I hate that feeling of frustration/ resentment/ anger and have definitely been there and felt guilty about feeling that way afterwards! It's just so difficult when you try so hard and get nowhere and in a normal situation you could vent/ voice your feelings towards someone but when it's a little baby you know you have to keep it all inside and act all calm and peaceful but sometimes I feel ready to explode!

On a positive note, we had a pretty good night last night DH and I went out for a meal for my birthday and I left LO at my parent's house just up the road. I've only done this on two other occasions and the last time was when we were going through a "good" sleeping phase - by that I mean at least predictable so we knew we had a couple of hours! This time however, we had no idea if he'd be asleep for a few hours or up every 30 minutes!

We put him down at their house at 7pm. He woke at 8.30 and my mum just patted him on the bum and he fell right back to sleep in seconds. Then he didn't wake up again until 10.50pm (at which point we were back and I fed him). He was awake for the cab ride home but then once I put him in his cot he didn't wake again until 3.45am!!! Amazing!!! Then he got up for the day at 6.50am, which is a lay in at the moment lol!

Hoping for another good night tonight.... I put him down at 6pm (only had two 30 minute naps today) and he hasn't woken yet... He's in his pram ready to be walked down to Nando's lol for another birthday meal Hoping he'll stay asleep the whole time we're out!!

 

[seaweed eater]

Rachel that's a fantastic night!! What a great birthday present for you. Happy birthday! Hope he behaves himself tonight too!

Amy, we have had a little bit of hysterical crying mostly night 4 though. Night 1 it wasn't more than a few minutes of that IIRC. I just leave him, because if I pick him up and calm him and then put him down, he gets much much more upset...sounds like Chloe may be similar. The Sleep Lady's version allows you to do that if it helps, but I only did it once because it was clearly very counterproductive. So I just told him that I was there with him and loved him and it was time to sleep. I think I sang to him a little too.

He is a baby who gets worked up though. I don't think you had joined the thread before any of these instances, but he's cried for an hour and a half a few times in his life, and vomited from crying twice. I don't know whether that makes you feel better or worse but really I was afraid of much worse than what happened with gradual withdrawal. Chances are you won't experience anything like that, especially given what has happened already when you've tried.

In the past week or so there have been a couple times when it's been clear that he's not even trying to SS, and I've picked him up to take a break or nurse some more. But that's because things feel better established now and I know he can do it if he's ready to, and I know what it looks like when he is trying. For the first week at least, I think it's important to be really consistent to give LO the best chance to learn.

He does have a lovey. I introduced it around 4 months but he's seemed more attached to it for the past few weeks, so I think it did help him learn to SS. It did take me a little while to get comfortable with the idea of him having it in his bed. Initially I was planning to give it to him as he was falling asleep and then remove it once he was asleep, but I woke him up a couple times that way and then gave up. Do you have a movement sensor? If so, maybe that would reassure your hubby?

 

[AmyS]

SE - Thanks for the details! I am worried about the crying - she has never vomited from crying, but I haven't really let her go that long. If she is doing her hysterical crying, and I put her down, she REALLY gets worked up. That worries me about tonight. I have a feeling I will being doing a VERY gradual method...

We don't have a movement sensor - I think I will just try without the lovey for tonight, and see how it goes. If we don't have much luck, then hubby might just have to get over it!

That's so cool that you know now how he SS himself! I can't wait to see how Chloe figures it out. I know she will. I have to believe that she will.

So, tonight, I will try to put her down drowsy. She hasn't been falling asleep on the bottle, but if she does, I will gently wake her before I put her down. And if she's wide awake after eating (like last night), then I will rock her a few minutes to calm her down before putting her in her crib. I will soothe her in her crib for all night wakings, unless it's been 6 hours since her last bottle, then I'll feed her. I'm not trying to night wean yet. She usually only eats once a night anyway. And I will be prepared for little to no sleep tonight! Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday!

 

[seaweed eater]

Sounds good! I hope it goes well. Please keep us posted!!! Regarding crying, you just can't know until you try. I would be prepared for it to be stressful, because even a very normal amount of crying is stressful. But chances are she will be just fine. You will be right there with her to help her through it

 

[seaweed eater]

I should mention that I decided last night to try a 6-hour cutoff for nursing. He's been waking after 4 hours a few nights in a row, and I know he can get through that transition without a feed and don't want to encourage the habit of feeding then. So last night was the second time he resettled without nursing. He certainly wasn't thrilled about it. He fussed on and off for about 25 minutes before falling asleep, but mostly not that intense. So that's the baseline -- hoping it gets better, or that he stops waking then and it's no longer relevant.