Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[bababas]

so sorry cupcake. hope it gets better soon.


hi BabyBear. Toddler and 12 weeks old is really tough! i find it to get better now. If the nights are good with LO that is. they have been improving when i changed to longer awake times which the ladies here have helped me with. how is he sleeping in the night?

 

[AmyS]

SE - I like your plan! I'm sorry that you have to go back to sleep training, but you do know what's best for your LO. And you are not a bad mother! Chloe won't let me soothe her sometimes either. Poor babies. He knows you are there for him. I agree with putting the ST on hold when he's in pain.

Gaia - Glad you had a couple of good nights! Teething seems to be never ending.

Stephie - I can't imagine a 5 hour wake time! He must have so much energy. Can't wait to hear about the rest of your night!!!! He is doing so well, self settling on his own!

polaris - Teething, coughing, and the heat?!? That's rough! Hope it calms down for you soon!

bababas - I hope you get your naps figured out! Transition time is tricky.

CupcakeBaby - I agree with Noelle - try a Rock 'N Play if you can. THey are wonderful for keeping baby elevated. My LO didn't have reflux, but we used if for when she was sick with RSV. They just feel so cuddled in it also!

Babybear85 - I agree with the other, too, I would buy a larger swaddle if his startle reflex is still bad. You can wean him of it later on. You could also try the halo sleepsack, and swaddle with arms in, then when you are weaning, leave arms out, then swaddle looser and looser...
___________________________

I cannot complain about our nights. Sometimes she sttn, and sometimes she's up once or twice. I don't let her cry. I will either try to settle her in her crib, or pick her up and rock her for a few minutes. Usually, she settles herself wonderfully. In the morning, if she wakes early, I hear her talking to her ducky lovey, and then she will fall back to sleep until 6 or 6:30, which is when we usually get up.

Daycare naps last week were awful though!! They haven't been able to put her down. Like SE, they try to put her down asleep, and it isn't going well. Friday, they had a light day, so they held her for an hour for her afternoon nap. And I was going to try to stop holding her for naps on the weekend, but I never did put her down. Ooops.

 

[gaiagirl]

SE - Hugs xxxxxxx Try to be gentle with yourself, you are ANYTHING but a terrible mother. I felt the same one night last week when I tried to get F to sleep without nursing and he SOBBED forever. I was right there but I still felt sick about it. It just means that you are sensitive and responsive to him and that is a GOOD thing. He's lucky to have you, please be easy on yourself.

We had an ok night I guess. Baby party from 10-11 but I had to wake him at 7:30! I was shocked, I thought 6:45 bedtime would mean early wakeup for sure.

Nap 1 is a bit rough, he's been latched on for an hour refusing to let go. He does this when his mouth hurts.

I can't believe I'm still dealing with teeth. Seriously this is ridiculous.

 

[seaweed eater]

Thanks ladies I was sitting with him and telling him he was tired and it was time to sleep. I just wanted to pick him up again, but I passed some point where I felt like I was committed and had to let him fall asleep that way! I don't know whether picking him up would really have helped anyway, I mean it would have helped calm him down but maybe he would have ended up going to sleep later than he did.

The night wasn't bad comparatively -- I think he was up only 3 times incl the usual MOTN. I just don't know what to do now, whether to keep waiting or go ahead and change the rules again. On one hand I know there's always going to be something at this age, but on the other hand, I've never been more certain that he's teething, and he hasn't normally been that hard to settle. Ugh, I think what I really need is to somehow get over my ambivalence about sleep training!

More later, thank you again for your support

 

[stephie_corin]

Damn you BnB curse!!! It's 10.50 PM, I still need to finish packing, we are leaving at 5 AM tomorrow... DH has been in the office for FORTY hours leading up to his midnight deadline tonight. Please tell your children not to be lawyers when they grow up.

I put Cully down a mere ten minutes after bedtime and I should have known it was too good to be true. I'm so glad we have a video monitor. I glanced at it after fifteen minutes of pottering around downstairs only to see him about to crawl off the end of the bed! I raced upstairs and saved him but he was wide awake by this stage. I think I've lost my mind because I thought it would be a good idea to let him crawl around our room until he was tired. An hour and a half later... And he wasn't tired at all!!! but I insisted on rocking him to sleep. I'm sure he's overtired now as he can't sleep for more than 20 minutes.

I'm well aware this rant is an obnoxious 'first world problem' rant - we are about to spend a week in the Seychelles. I'm happy, I really am! Just tired and stressed!!

I promise to catch up on everyone tomorrow when we arrive. I hope you all have great nights tonight and a miracle occurs and all the babies STTN!

 

[bababas]

have fun on your vacation stephie.

i forgot to post how our night was.

he slept his first stretch 8.30pm - 01:30 am

last time he did this was when he was 3 months. im not even sure if it was 0130. when i saw 01 that was enough to make me

prolly wont happen ever again we woke up 7.30 well he wanted to sleep a bit more, but he pooped so i let my ds1 in to make noise.

 

[polaris]

SE - I think it is the hardest when you are in that ambivalent place of "will I won't I". Those are certainly the times that I have felt most stressed about Clara's sleep. I am highly ambivalent about sleep training so I really feel your pain and your confusion. It's just so hard to know what to do for the best isn't it? I wish I had some decent advice for you, I remember you posted some really good advice for me when I was in a similar head-space which I found really very helpful. I think it was maybe just to try and make a decision on it one way or the other to get out of that horrible limbo of being neither one nor the other. But I'm sure you had a much better way of putting it.

Stephie - I hope you have a wonderful holiday and that the travel isn't too stressful. I do think sometimes they seem to sense it when we are really wanting them to sleep for some reason (e.g. to be well rested before the journey) and it generally seems to have the opposite effect. I hope you manage to get some rest now and your DH too, he must be exhausted!

Bababas, yay that is a brilliant stretch of sleep! Five hours! Maybe he is coming out of the four month sleep regression and he will start sleeping well now. You never know your luck!

Gaia - you have definitely had an awful run of it with teeth. Surely you must be due a break from teething soon??

AmyS - that's fantastic that she is sleeping so well at night time now! I'm so pleased for you. I'm sure naps will follow soon. Are you still planning on trying to get her to nap in the crib when she's home with you?

Hi Babybear, welcome. I agree with the others, I would stick with the swaddling for the moment if his startle reflex is still very strong. You would be just making things unnecessarily difficult for yourself to try to transition him now. In another month or so he might have lost the startle reflex and it will be an easier transition. I agree with the others, it's really hard work at your LO's age, especially with two, and you have quite a small gap so I'm guessing it is probably pretty full-on at the moment, you must be exhausted.

 

[polaris]

I forgot to post my update. Things are a bit better today. Clara's cough is still there but not as bad as it was. It's also a bit cooler here today, thank goodness - but I tried to get a fan for Clara's room and all the shops are all totally sold out! I told you this country is just not set up for the heat! LOL.

I think I am going to try a longer wake-time before bed. I find it really hard to tell whether she's undertired or overtired because she kind of acts very similar for both (taking ages to settle and very physically active, crawling all over the bed and pulling my hair and chatting etc). I do feel a bit silly that I am always undecided between whether I'm putting her to bed way too early or way too late. She ended up with a wake-time of 4.75 today by the time she went to sleep, we had been aiming for 4 hours. Tomorrow I think I will try 4.5 hours before bed and see if it helps her to settle a bit more quickly.

 

[Babybear85]

Thanks guys I managed to get a sleeping bag that has poppers by the arms and it just zips up rather than wraps round so he can't break free its 0.5tog too which I am happy with so he won't overheat. Seems to be doing the trick. Someone asked how he's sleeping and it depends he can go 4 hours tops I am not too fussed I know its normal and accept it its just knackering is all. Hopefully he will sleep well with this new sleep bag

 

[joo]

I'm so sorry my eyes are too bleary to attempt to read through this thread, but I was gonna post my own thread and saw this title which completely sums up how I'm feeling at the moment.

My baby is 19 weeks (20 this Thursday) and from about 3 months she stopped sleeping well and woke up a bit more. I got used to her waking up more, probably 2-3 times a night and just accepted it. Anyway the last couple of weeks have been awful because she wakes up even more and she won't settle herself anymore so I have to hold her. The last week has been the worst by far and now when I go to put her back in her crib when she's asleep she wakes straight away and cries and she wakes every hour, sometimes less! I can be holding her anything between 20-60mins before she'll go down, then I'll get back into bed, take me a bit to get back to sleep and then less than an hour later she's kicking off again. I'm so exhausted and just do not know what to do! I've started giving up and bringing her in bed with us - from being about 6 weeks old she's slept in our bed almost every morning but only after 4am for a couple of hours until OH gets up and takes her downstairs. Last night she ended up in bed with us before midnight! I'm scared to have her with us now due to the heat and also because I'm now sooo bloody tired it's so much more dangerous, but when it comes to it it's the only way I can get 2-3 hours good sleep! Does anyone have any experience/advice???

 

[gaiagirl]

OM Seychelles?! I am so jealous. I just looked at pics and now I am depressed that I am not going anywhere tropical until March 2014! HA!

 

[bababas]

Bababas, yay that is a brilliant stretch of sleep! Five hours! Maybe he is coming out of the four month sleep regression and he will start sleeping well now. You never know your luck!

oh this thing happened again. when i go to the pool at 9pm. he woke up. OH tried to make him sleep. it worked. but then he kind of decided to want boob again.

he wasnt really sleepy when i put him to bed. he napped 5:15pm-5:50pm then was asleep 9pm. i wonder if the nap is too long or if he napped too much that this happens: waking up one hour after his bed time. or maybe i need to lengthen his awake time before the last nap.

he seems always to sleep well when we go to the inlaws though. then his 5pm nap turns into a 10min nap in the car, for some reason he wakes up when we are inside in-laws. then another 10 mins back home.... but since he missed his nap i let him sleep another 10 mins, so that like 6.30pm but though he wakes 6.30pm he is still fine with 8.30pm - 9pm down time.

maybe it is just a coincidence or one of those days...

 

[bababas]

I'm so sorry my eyes are too bleary to attempt to read through this thread, but I was gonna post my own thread and saw this title which completely sums up how I'm feeling at the moment.

My baby is 19 weeks (20 this Thursday) and from about 3 months she stopped sleeping well and woke up a bit more. I got used to her waking up more, probably 2-3 times a night and just accepted it. Anyway the last couple of weeks have been awful because she wakes up even more and she won't settle herself anymore so I have to hold her. The last week has been the worst by far and now when I go to put her back in her crib when she's asleep she wakes straight away and cries and she wakes every hour, sometimes less! I can be holding her anything between 20-60mins before she'll go down, then I'll get back into bed, take me a bit to get back to sleep and then less than an hour later she's kicking off again. I'm so exhausted and just do not know what to do! I've started giving up and bringing her in bed with us - from being about 6 weeks old she's slept in our bed almost every morning but only after 4am for a couple of hours until OH gets up and takes her downstairs. Last night she ended up in bed with us before midnight! I'm scared to have her with us now due to the heat and also because I'm now sooo bloody tired it's so much more dangerous, but when it comes to it it's the only way I can get 2-3 hours good sleep! Does anyone have any experience/advice???

sounds similar to my LO except i just nurse him back to sleep and he would be fine. he started waking more 3months. then the girls recommended more wake time after he started waking hourly in the night. and it worked wonders right away. he has been on 2 hour wake times and 1.5hr naps. except his last nap. i also needed a longer awake time before his bedtime. he is turning 5 months in 2 days.

 

[bababas]

OM Seychelles?! I am so jealous. I just looked at pics and now I am depressed that I am not going anywhere tropical until March 2014! HA!

me too we are going to NORTH of iceland in august. brbrbrbrbrbr. went one sumer to the north of iceland and i found it rather cold. now since sumer still hasnt arrived here, wish me luck on my trip prolly need to bring 100 outdoor clothes for my toddler oh and myself the LO and OH too. instead of shorts and t-shirt haha

 

[gaiagirl]

Ok bababas I probably should not complain, at least it's hot and sunny where I live!

My LO USUALLY wakes after his first night time sleep cycle. I've agonized and analyzed over why but there is no rhyme or reason!

 

[bababas]

Ok bababas I probably should not complain, at least it's hot and sunny where I live!

My LO USUALLY wakes after his first night time sleep cycle. I've agonized and analyzed over why but there is no rhyme or reason!

yes it seems like sometimes he does it sometimes not. would like to find out why. would like to go to the movies again, but dont wanna leave him with OH if that is the case.

so he woke up 1 hour after i put him down and only boob could make him sleep again, then i got a good stretch 0:30am-4:30am but from 5:30 he was a bit annoyed prolly his teeth again, so he was stuck on my breast from then on. and he woke up early. but still loved the 4 hours sleep i got. felt like i could just wake up now

 

[stephie_corin]

Amy! Chloe is sleeping so well! Amazing! You should feel proud. You and her are a good team! Am I wrong in that daycare used to do CIO? What made them change their napping approach? How is she during the day? Happy? If her night sleep stays as great as it is and she's happy I wouldn't sweat the naps! If she's grumpy and unhappy that's a different story of course. I love that they held her for her nap! So cute!

Gaia, you've had such a rough time with teeth! At least you've got some progress to show for it, I guess! I hope you managed to sneak away for his second nap. I can't remember, have you tried the pantley pull off?

SE, give him a few days and see if the teething settles. It will also give you a cooling off period to think about what you want to do and decide the best course of action without feeling pressurised.

Bababas, I'm so glad you got some good sleep! I hope Polaris is right and this is a turning point for you! C also woke after his first sleep cycle at that age (and now it's most thereafter too!) I don't have a solution, I'm sorry. Perhaps you DH could try expressed milk in a bottle? By the way, your kids are so cute!!!

Polaris, how did you go with the longer awake time? I LOLed at the fans being sold out! I hope they get some more stock in soon!

Baby bear good luck with the new swaddle bag. We used something similar for my son when he transitioned from swaddling and it worked well.

Joo, welcome. Sorry to see you here. I ended up bed sharing full time with our boy because he was up so much and now I love it! If its something you and DH are open to, research safe bed sharing and, provided you follow the guidelines, it's surprisingly safe. My top tip is to practice nursing lying down. I wish we started this earlier as my boy can't get the hang of it. What is your day routine like?

So we made it to Seychelles and already it has been such a liberating experience for me!! Cully is on his THIRD nap and its 420pm and it's all fine, the world hasn't ended. He only took two 20 minute naps on the plane but he actually nursed! I didn't offer him any water (which I normally do) and I think this helped too.

He was amazing on the plane. He didn't cry once and was so happy. I need to trust him more and relax more about his routine. His night sleep is so bad that it's made me into a routine lunatic. I think a day like this has been just what I needed. Don't get me wrong, I still plan to follow his routine but I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and if for some reason the routine doesn't exactly work out, I won't be stressed about it.

I'm exhausted after last night and poor DH has slept 4 hours in the plane in about 60 hours but we are in paradise so it's all behind us now

Ok... Time to gently wake up this monkey!

Ps Polaris you were right all along about not worrying about the travel and you were also right that the nursing to sleep is a total blessing when travelling!

 

[AmyS]

Stephie - I had to google some images of Seychelles - WOW!!!! And I'm sure the pictures don't do it justice!

I'm so glad you are feeling relaxed and less stressed about the routine (or lack of) today. And he did so good on the plane! That's amazing!

I am very proud of Chloe - I tell her every morning when she wakes up smiling and happy. Daycare did do CIO, but they haven't been able to lately because she's waking up another baby who NEEDS to sleep, they say. She is usually pretty happy during the day, so I guess it's probably not worth putting too much worry into!

Have a GREAT time! Catch up on some sleep! I hope Cully enjoys his first taste of paradise!

 

[mellyboo]

My babys never going to sttn i don't think.

 

[Noelle610]

My babys never going to sttn i don't think.

Lay it on us. What's going on?