Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[aliss]

Philippe woke 3x last night, at 9 days.

Honestly Noelle I gotta tell you.... as much as we mothers of bad sleepers (well, me FORMER) love to blame ourselves, I really do think we are given what we are given and there is only so much we can do.

I always blamed myself for Alex waking every 1-2 hours the first 6 months-12 months of his life and not STTN until 2 years old but tbh.... I think it was just the 'luck' of the draw??

I too remember wanting to throttle people whose baby woke 1-3x a night (and tbh I still do, if they don't realize how blessed they are). But then I secretly hope they learn the hard way with #2

Wow. Aliss, you deserve this... the universe owes you! I told you the next one would be a good sleeper

I completely, 100% agree that some babies just aren't predispositioned to be "good" sleepers. It's hard not to ask, "Why me?!" sometimes.

I'm generally a pretty good-natured person, but I must admit to secretly wishing that the two moms in my baby group with kids who have STTN since 6 weeks old go through the 8 month regression or have a more difficult time with the second. It's awful, I know!!! LOL. But I hate being asked, "Oh, she's still not sleeping?" when we get together.

Haha thanks... see, it's not our faults!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I blame reflux too for a lot of it. They never learned to associate sleep = pleasure in the beginning, right???

And please punch those bitches in the face for me...

 

[anti]

Aw ladies... So so glad I'm not the only one!! My LO slept through for 10 nights when she was 2 months old, and hasn't done it since! She wakes a minimum of 4 times and we went through a really bad few nights at the beginning of this wonder week where she was up every hour!! I keep telling myself this doesn't last forever and will also pass... Just hoping it happens soon! It's so nice to know other moms are going through the same thing and that I'm not alone!

 

[MrsPear]

Argh after me saying that the main problem with Joni is that she needs her nappy changing at least once/twice during the night and then she completely wakes up, she did not need her nappy changing AT ALL last night (which is a minor miracle) but she still woke up every hour. Haha, so much for my nappy theory. I put her to bed at 7, then at half past 7 my OH started spraying deodorant in his shoes outside her bedroom door (wtf, why?!!!) and wondered why she woke up. And so the settling-resettling cycle began!!

However, it is true that when she has her nappy changed she wakes up like it's morning each time, so at least last night she was awake but quite sleepy and there wasn't too much crying. I turned my phone off in the end because I didn't want to know what time it was. Noelle you were talking about wonder weeks and I think maybe Joni is hitting week 19 wonder week because normally if I don't have to change her nappy she sleeps a lot better. So I think I just have to ride it out. In the night time I feel really angry and depressed, but in the daytime (like now) I just think, ah it's cool, it won't last forever. I do genuinely love the fact that I never go more than about a couple of hours without a cuddle a lot of the time.

I agree with Aliss, there isn't anything can be done. People always ask if we have 'a routine' and I'm like, yeah I bath her at 6, then I put her sleepsuit on, and then I start rocking her when she looks tired about half six...but if she's not going to sleep, what can you do?! Seems madness to me that anyone would really think it made that much difference.

Anyway, as it is only lunchtime, I am still feeling upbeat and positive about it all, just don't ask me in 8 hours or so what I think about it all!

 

[polaris]

I had a religious bedtime routine with my first (bath, massage, lullabies) and he was a dreadful sleeper. Don't really have one with Clara and she sleeps just fine (for her age). Go figure, I guess the routine isn't a cure all for everything after all.

 

[Noelle610]

Philippe woke 3x last night, at 9 days.

Honestly Noelle I gotta tell you.... as much as we mothers of bad sleepers (well, me FORMER) love to blame ourselves, I really do think we are given what we are given and there is only so much we can do.

I always blamed myself for Alex waking every 1-2 hours the first 6 months-12 months of his life and not STTN until 2 years old but tbh.... I think it was just the 'luck' of the draw??

I too remember wanting to throttle people whose baby woke 1-3x a night (and tbh I still do, if they don't realize how blessed they are). But then I secretly hope they learn the hard way with #2

Wow. Aliss, you deserve this... the universe owes you! I told you the next one would be a good sleeper

I completely, 100% agree that some babies just aren't predispositioned to be "good" sleepers. It's hard not to ask, "Why me?!" sometimes.

I'm generally a pretty good-natured person, but I must admit to secretly wishing that the two moms in my baby group with kids who have STTN since 6 weeks old go through the 8 month regression or have a more difficult time with the second. It's awful, I know!!! LOL. But I hate being asked, "Oh, she's still not sleeping?" when we get together.

Haha thanks... see, it's not our faults!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I blame reflux too for a lot of it. They never learned to associate sleep = pleasure in the beginning, right???

And please punch those bitches in the face for me...

Really interesting, I never thought of it that way! I supposed the reflux and associating sleep with pain certainly could be one cause of a tough time with sleep.

Haha I always try my best to be happy for women with easy babies, but it's not always easy... especially when I'm particularly tired LOL!

 

[Noelle610]

Aw ladies... So so glad I'm not the only one!! My LO slept through for 10 nights when she was 2 months old, and hasn't done it since! She wakes a minimum of 4 times and we went through a really bad few nights at the beginning of this wonder week where she was up every hour!! I keep telling myself this doesn't last forever and will also pass... Just hoping it happens soon! It's so nice to know other moms are going through the same thing and that I'm not alone!

You are most certainly not alone! "This too shall pass" is my motto these days.

 

[Noelle610]

Argh after me saying that the main problem with Joni is that she needs her nappy changing at least once/twice during the night and then she completely wakes up, she did not need her nappy changing AT ALL last night (which is a minor miracle) but she still woke up every hour. Haha, so much for my nappy theory. I put her to bed at 7, then at half past 7 my OH started spraying deodorant in his shoes outside her bedroom door (wtf, why?!!!) and wondered why she woke up. And so the settling-resettling cycle began!!

However, it is true that when she has her nappy changed she wakes up like it's morning each time, so at least last night she was awake but quite sleepy and there wasn't too much crying. I turned my phone off in the end because I didn't want to know what time it was. Noelle you were talking about wonder weeks and I think maybe Joni is hitting week 19 wonder week because normally if I don't have to change her nappy she sleeps a lot better. So I think I just have to ride it out. In the night time I feel really angry and depressed, but in the daytime (like now) I just think, ah it's cool, it won't last forever. I do genuinely love the fact that I never go more than about a couple of hours without a cuddle a lot of the time.

I agree with Aliss, there isn't anything can be done. People always ask if we have 'a routine' and I'm like, yeah I bath her at 6, then I put her sleepsuit on, and then I start rocking her when she looks tired about half six...but if she's not going to sleep, what can you do?! Seems madness to me that anyone would really think it made that much difference.

Anyway, as it is only lunchtime, I am still feeling upbeat and positive about it all, just don't ask me in 8 hours or so what I think about it all!

The diaper change wakes up my LO too... I've had success with Pampers Baby Dry 12 Hours as recommended by the ladies on this forum!

Don't you love being asked if you have a bedtime routine, as if it's the solution you NEVER thought of? A well-meaning mom in my baby group gave me some advice the other day... She said I should give my LO a bath and use lavander lotion and she would surely sleep through. Has it been that easy all along and I missed it????

I totally relate to the fluctuating positive attitude. Some days I'm all, "This will pass" and "It's only temporary" and other times (particularly first thing in the morning!) I'm in tears and ready to commit myself to the psych ward!

 

[Noelle610]

Here's another tidbit you ladies may enjoy:

I went to see a couselor for my PND, much of which I think can be attributed to sleep deprivation. She suggested that my LO could "sense my stress" and that if I could only relax she would sleep through the night!!! Not sure where she got her degree...

 

[aliss]

Here's another tidbit you ladies may enjoy:

I went to see a couselor for my PND, much of which I think can be attributed to sleep deprivation. She suggested that my LO could "sense my stress" and that if I could only relax she would sleep through the night!!! Not sure where she got her degree...

Clown college.

I had PND for 1 year with Alex and not even the baby blues with Philippe. It's the baby. Sorry babies.... but it's you, not us.

 

[Noelle610]

Here's another tidbit you ladies may enjoy:

I went to see a couselor for my PND, much of which I think can be attributed to sleep deprivation. She suggested that my LO could "sense my stress" and that if I could only relax she would sleep through the night!!! Not sure where she got her degree...

Clown college.

I had PND for 1 year with Alex and not even the baby blues with Philippe. It's the baby. Sorry babies.... but it's you, not us.

 

[katrinalorien]

ugh I know this for sure... I just want to cry some days. I think a touch of PND because of Lily... wakes up every hour, on the hour, and people think I exaggerate!

 

[Noelle610]

ugh I know this for sure... I just want to cry some days. I think a touch of PND because of Lily... wakes up every hour, on the hour, and people think I exaggerate!

 

[lisa1980]

ladies,

I just wanted to say that I totally get where you're all coming from.

My LO has been a terrible sleeper (as you know from the other sleep dep thread Noelle ) and I honestly feel that in some ways it has ruined his first year for me. The constant tiredness plus stressing about tiredness, plus silly rows with OH in the motn over being up for the millionth time etc mean that I've spent most of his life so far in a bit of a state tbh.

I haven't officially had PND but I've been at my lowest in the past year at points...I'm normally annoyingly upbeat so it's been a shock to me. I think it's difficult to understand how much prolonged and extreme sleep deprivation can mess up your mental health unless you've been through it.

He has got a lot better in the past month or so (until ANOTHER cold messed it all up. He's regressed a fair bit ) but I'm still trying to just accept that he's probably never going to be a great sleeper, it's always going to be unpredictable.

ladies. One day they'll sleep.....surely?!

 

[aliss]

Oh yes the old routine thing...

What, you mean if I just did a "bath and bottle" every night at 6pm he'd sleep??

Why didn't I think of that... I was quite blessed in that I was the colic one so my mother understands, and my aunt had a colicky one after her 1st angel baby (my cousin sttn at 5, his sister was 6 weeks) so nobody in my famiy thinks I'm exaggerating.

OH's family is another story...

 

[Noelle610]

ladies,

I just wanted to say that I totally get where you're all coming from.

My LO has been a terrible sleeper (as you know from the other sleep dep thread Noelle ) and I honestly feel that in some ways it has ruined his first year for me. The constant tiredness plus stressing about tiredness, plus silly rows with OH in the motn over being up for the millionth time etc mean that I've spent most of his life so far in a bit of a state tbh.

I haven't officially had PND but I've been at my lowest in the past year at points...I'm normally annoyingly upbeat so it's been a shock to me. I think it's difficult to understand how much prolonged and extreme sleep deprivation can mess up your mental health unless you've been through it.

He has got a lot better in the past month or so (until ANOTHER cold messed it all up. He's regressed a fair bit ) but I'm still trying to just accept that he's probably never going to be a great sleeper, it's always going to be unpredictable.

ladies. One day they'll sleep.....surely?!

Hi Lisa! I totally understand what you mean about not necessarily enjoying the first year due to sleep deprivation. I feel the same way. DH and I always say we could handle the colic, reflux, fussiness, etc. if we were well-rested! I too am typically very positive and take things in stride, so the depression took me by suprise as well.

I'm glad to hear things have gotten better for you! Illness is always a bummer, but now you know it will improve eventually

 

[Noelle610]

Oh yes the old routine thing...

What, you mean if I just did a "bath and bottle" every night at 6pm he'd sleep??

Why didn't I think of that... I was quite blessed in that I was the colic one so my mother understands, and my aunt had a colicky one after her 1st angel baby (my cousin sttn at 5, his sister was 6 weeks) so nobody in my famiy thinks I'm exaggerating.

OH's family is another story...

My mom totally understands as well! I was colicky and a horrible sleeper. I often call her crying in the mornings and she gives great support, but also jokes that I "gave birth to myself"!

I'm pretty sure my co-workers think I'm exaggerating on the sleep thing! I don't think they care to hear me say "I'm tired" anymore

 

[mrsbeano]

Noelle, so you need to relax so that Charlie can relax? What you should do is introduce a relaxing bedtime bath routine for you!

Was she drinking before your session?!

I'm a firm believer in chilled out baby = chilled out Mum and NOT the other way around.

I truly have no idea how you do it. I am crap on Quinn's nighttime antics let alone anything else. I'd be sending him to my Mum's for a sleepover once a week.

 

[Noelle610]

Noelle, so you need to relax so that Charlie can relax? What you should do is introduce a relaxing bedtime bath routine for you!

Was she drinking before your session?!

I'm a firm believer in chilled out baby = chilled out Mum and NOT the other way around.

I truly have no idea how you do it. I am crap on Quinn's nighttime antics let alone anything else. I'd be sending him to my Mum's for a sleepover once a week.

Totally agree about chill baby = chill mom! Like Aliss said, "Baby, it's not me, it's you"... LOL!

You know, I think at some point you get used to it all and kind of accept it. It doesn't make it any better, but the only way through is through.

 

[bananaz]

Hi Lisa! I totally understand what you mean about not necessarily enjoying the first year due to sleep deprivation. I feel the same way. DH and I always say we could handle the colic, reflux, fussiness, etc. if we were well-rested! I too am typically very positive and take things in stride, so the depression took me by suprise as well.

This is soooo true! When Elsie was doing her glorious 6-10 hour stretches I had so much more patience for her daytime antics. Plus it made me feel like I was actually doing something "right" with my parenting, and that made me more confident about how I handled everything else. Obviously that wasn't true since I'm still doing the exact same things and now she sleeps horribly, but it was a nice thought at the time.

I'm wondering if maybe I should just bite the bullet and try a bedtime routine?

 

[aliss]

Thank goodness for you girls, it's so nice to joke & relax with others who actually understand!