Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[MrsPear]

MrsPear, that's kind of funny.

Anti, no, this can't last forever... As soon as I feel like "I can't take it" with one phases, it passes

We had a weird night. Charlotte's naps were kind of off again. Her morning nap was a good 90 minutes, but then she had two more naps at only 30 minutes. Like Jessica's Lilly, she NEEDS those long naps, so I think overtired-ness was at play.

She went to sleep at 6:30pm, but was weird. Didn't want to be put down! VERY unusual for her. Then she slept straight through until 3am (dream feed around 9pm) and woke screaming and stayed that way for an HOUR. I tried all of my old tricks - shhushing, rocking, paci, feeding, nothing worked. Finally I gave her Advil, because she seemed to be in pain. She ultimately drifted off. Any thoughts on this? It was really unsettling for me, as it's unusual. It's the second time she's done it this week. She was arching her back and kicking her legs. It reminded me of reflux pain, but I can't imagine that was it since she hadn't eaten in 6 hours. Teething? Separation anxiety?

I'm no expert but it could definitely be teething. It really hurt when my wisdom teeth came through so I'm sure it must be agony for a baby! To be honest, I blame almost everything on teething Joni doesn't want to be put down AT ALL some nights, and since she got some teeth recently when it was at its worst, I'm sure it must be that. Yet other nights (e.g. last night), even if she doesn't sleep well I can settle her/feed her and then put her down asleep and she will stay that way for an hour or two. So I'm sure it must be pain in my case.

x

 

[bananaz]

MrsPear - That's too funny! My brain does some really weird things when I'm tired too.

Noelle - If she was screaming even as you tried to comfort her I'm guessing separation anxiety isn't the issue, but it could definitely be teething-related.

Last night was mixed. It started off well - she went to sleep around 7pm after only 15 minutes of fussing/playing/rolling around and then she slept until 3:15am (!) at which point I fed her and she went back to sleep pretty quickly.

The crappy part of the night started when she woke up only an hour later at 4:30, the same time she woke last night. She didn't sound upset so I tried to let her sort herself out, but after 30 minutes she was still complaining intermittently so I went in there and nursed her. This was kind of dumb in retrospect since she had just eaten, but I guess I wanted a quick fix so I could go back to sleep. Well, it didn't work and after I put her down she really started crying so I spent 15 minutes or so shush-patting her but it didn't help either. She would quiet down for a minute and then suddenly start fussing and trying to sit up. At that point I decided to give her some Tylenol (getting the syringe in her mouth was like trying to wrestle a bear!) and then I put on her mobile to distract her while the meds kicked in.

Aaaaand it's now almost 6:10am and she's still awake! And she's just started crying. Ugh

 

[jessicatunnel]

last night was good. Not as good as the night before but she only woke up 2 times all night.

 

[Noelle610]

Bananaz, great long stretch, but that sucks about the early morning wakeup! That would drive me NUTS.

Jessica, that's awesome... 2 times!

MrsPear, I hear you - teething must be painful. I called the ped and they wanted me to bring Charlotte back in (to check her ears) but I have just taken so much time off work, UGH. I guess we will see how it goes tonight. Why can't my baby just be normal?!!!!!! I love her to death, but she is just so freakin' sensitive. If it's not one thing, it's another.

Funny story, my company has a mentor program for top performers. I was hooked up with a woman from the west coast and we were chatting on the phone about our kids. She asked how Charlotte was sleeping and I told her the truth. She has a 17 month old who was exactly the same! She had so much sympathy and told me we could discuss ways to work through exhaustion in your career

 

[Blondy27]

don't know if this will help anyone or not really, but my eldest slept through from 12 weeks old and is a great sleeper, and my baby is 13 months and has JUST started sleeping through (was still up twice a night for a bottle and then various other wakings on top until a month ago, when its started dropping gradually), I didn't do anything differently, she just decided now was the time I think, she still has some bad nights occasionally, but I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel! So basically I guess i'm saying they're all different, but they will sleep eventually xxxx

 

[anti]

Thanks blondy!! It's nice to hear success stories!!

 

[Noelle610]

don't know if this will help anyone or not really, but my eldest slept through from 12 weeks old and is a great sleeper, and my baby is 13 months and has JUST started sleeping through (was still up twice a night for a bottle and then various other wakings on top until a month ago, when its started dropping gradually), I didn't do anything differently, she just decided now was the time I think, she still has some bad nights occasionally, but I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel! So basically I guess i'm saying they're all different, but they will sleep eventually xxxx

It does help. It's easy to efel like you're doing something "wrong" when in actuality it's just the baby's personality. I have read all of the books, my daugther goes down awake and self-soothes, doesn't have any crazy sleep associations, etc. She just struggles to stay asleep for some reason!

 

[Shadowy Lady]

last night wasn't so good! Of course because I was fearing it as we're going away today for the weekend. She went to sleep no problem at 8 pm and woke up at 2:30 am. But then again at 5 am :/ she usually sleeps another 4 hours after her feed so that was unusual.

Well at least hubby is driving so I may nap on our drive to Toronto...

 

[Noelle610]

Shadowy Lady, hope you get your nap today

 

[bananaz]

Well I officially don't know what's going on with this kid. She was up for 3 hours and she just. wouldn't. sleep.

I tried...

• bouncing
• rocking
• singing
• shush-patting
• Tylenol
• nursing (x 3)
• mobile
• turning up the heat
• diaper change (x 2)
• reflux meds

I finally just got her up and played with her for a bit until she got fussy (which didn't take long because she was exhausted!), then did her naptime routine and set her in her crib. She screamed her freaking head off, but I was at the end of my rope and I really had to pee and get something to eat. She cried for almost 15 minutes before quieting down, which I feel horrible about. I don't normally let her scream like that but I just didn't know what to do with her At least it wasn't her sad or upset cry - she just sounded really, really angry.

I hope she's able to take a nice long nap and catch up on all the nighttime sleep she missed. I wish I knew what the heck the problem was!

 

[bananaz]

last night wasn't so good! Of course because I was fearing it as we're going away today for the weekend. She went to sleep no problem at 8 pm and woke up at 2:30 am. But then again at 5 am :/ she usually sleeps another 4 hours after her feed so that was unusual.

Well at least hubby is driving so I may nap on our drive to Toronto...

Wow, she usually sleeps another 4 hours? I'm so jealous! After Elsie's initial long stretch she almost always only sleeps 2-3 hours. I can understand why 2.5 hours would be frustrating if you're used to 4, though.

Honestly I'd rather have a bad night before a trip than a good one, because otherwise I panic that the trip is going to mess up her sleep. If it's already messed up there's nothing to worry about! But maybe that's just my weird, neurotic way of thinking about things

 

[Noelle610]

So weird Bananaz. Hope she takes a long nap!

 

[bananaz]

She only slept for 25 minutes. This is going to be a long day.

 

[Noelle610]

She has to crash sometime!

 

[bananaz]

How did last night go for everybody?

Another mixed bag here. She went to sleep at 6:45 and first woke up at 12:30. It took me an HOUR of shush-patting to get her back down and then she kept me awake until 2 because she was grumbling so loudly in her sleep. However, after her 3:30am feeding she didnt get up until almost 7! And she might've slept even longer than that if the stupid cat hadn't been meowing at her door

Anyway, I'm just so relieved we didn't have another 4:30 waking that I don't even care about the mess in the middle of the night. After having that happen two nights in a row I was so scared it was going to become a habit!

 

[Noelle610]

So glad Elsie slept in!

We were up for an hour again - between 4am and 5am. I really don't get it. I even tried feeding, thinking perhaps my ped had missed the boat with the night weaning and that she might be hungry. She refused!

The long night waking is driving me nuts. She's doing a long stretch of sleep, which is wonderful, but the extra long waking is really hard, especially because DH and I get up at 5:15am for work. If she wakes anytime after 3am, that's our wake up time for the day! I just wish I knew why. If I knew she was teething or something, it would be fine because I'd know it was just a phase that would pass.

I'm wondering if it's a three nap to two nap transition issue. I know that can be hard, because babies just end up being overtired (with two naps too close together and one long stretch of awake time before bed) or undertired (with tree naps and not enough wake time before bed). Today I'm going to experiment a bit to see if I can get Charlotte to take two naps, but spaced out a bit.

This can't be said enough: I'M TIRED

DH and I are still arguing about what to do. He's ready to let her CIO, but I just can't stop thinking that something is bothering her - like reflux, teeth, gas, whatever.

 

[MiniKiwi]

Bananaz, that doesn't sound like too bad of a night. Mia has recently begun doing the whole awake in the middle of the night for an hour thing too. They're all the same age, I wonder if something else is going on with their development?

I have had the worst week of my life sleep-wise. Wednesday night Mia woke 8 times, Thursday night 6, Friday night slept 11pm-1am and then awake the entire night until 9:30am when she slept for 3 hours.

Last night she slept 8pm-midnight and then up crying until 5:30 when she went to sleep in the moby for an hour and it's 7am now and she's back in the moby

She's got a throat infection and had been seen twice by the doctor now and they said to ride it out with some pain medicine, I think you guys call it tylenol. It's just paracetamol. She started it on Friday, I wonder if it could be contributing to the terrible sleep..Is that possible?

It's pure hell.

Noelle, I know how you feel. OH is also keen to sleep train her and says everyone lets their LO's CIO. I asked at my baby group how everyone's LO's do and they self settle and were left to CIO from a very young age. One of them from 6 days. It's so weird how on BnB it's like a crime but in 'real life' it seems to be the done thing. I can't do it anyway. I'm just hoping this infection is what's causing the reeeeally bad sleep and it's not just how things are going to be from now on. Oh well, we'll get through it anyway. Hope you're all well

 

[bananaz]

Noelle - I'm sorry you're dealing with the weird long wakings too. I think MiniKiwi might be right that maybe it's just a developmental thing? I know that having too long of an awake period before bed definitely has negative effects on Elsie's sleep. Right now she seems to sleep best when she has two longer naps in the morning and early afternoon and then has a quick 20-minute nap in the car a couple hours before bedtime, but of course cramming that last nap in isn't always easy!

I also am hesitant to jump to CIO right now, though I'm not against CC and I've used it briefly when I thought it was needed. I think a lot of people view CIO as a last resort cure-all, but my understanding is that it really only works if the cause of the wakings is the baby's inability to self-soothe and transition through sleep cycles due to sleep associations. If the problem is teething or reflux or something else along those lines I don't think just letting them cry is going to help.

MiniKiwi - Arghh, up for five and a half hours in the middle of the night? I'm so, so sorry Hopefully once she gets over her illness she'll start sleeping better quickly. Maybe try ibuprofen instead of paracetamol? Ibuprofen helps to bring down inflammation, which would probably be helpful for a throat infection. I hope she feels better soon

 

[aliss]

Noelle (+ others), you have to do what is right for your situation. I *personally* did not do it and waited 23 months (yes, it might be that long for some of you I'm afraid). I think in the long run, for US, it paid off because I was really worried about the fear/sleep association (I can't help but wonder if CIO works short-term but when you deal with toddler nightmares/terrors, then what?). But, it is your choice, and you are the one who is up all night so it's very easy for people to say what you SHOULD do.


Oh mine was up every 45 minutes last night or worse YEESH but I'm not allowed to complain yet, he's too young

 

[anti]

Ashlynn also does 1 hour awake time at 5am! It's gotta be a developmental thing... All the babies are the same age!! My OH gets up and I bring her in bed with me so when she goes back to sleep I can sleep till she gets up at around 8. My OH does nothing at night so it's only fair I get to sleep in!!!