Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Noelle610]

Glad you got some rest MrsPear

I am pretty down today. I just can't stop feeling like I'd be okay if only I could get a few solid hours of rest. The probably is really not my LO right now, but me. If I was sleeping soundly prior to her waking, I think I could cope, but my postpartum insomnia is terrible.

I'm going to see my midwife tomorrow in hopes they can help, but I fear they'll just suggest I take melatonin or refer me elsewhere. I'm almost 7 months postpartum and I really need to get my mental health in check. I hope they take me seriously.

They will take you seriously. I think its just the anxiety of not knowing what the night ahead will be like. If Quinn has a run of bad nights I'm the same and quite frankly noone can cope on a couple of hours sleep, especially when they are working long hour.

How do you work it with your DH? Do you do one night each?

Thanks MrsBeano, I do hope so. I can barely cope at work today - just trying to hold it together and not cry. I have an office-mate, so it's really not an option. Our holiday party is tonight and the thought of attending an event that begins at 6pm is just unbearable right now.

My DH is wonderful. He's worried about me. We don't have a guestroom and I can hear Charlotte over earplugs, so he's suggested I spend a night at the neighbors' (we're good friends). I just feel like such a crappy mother for even considering it.

 

[Noelle610]

I really appreciate everyone's support. I know I must sound like a HUGE drama queen. I know others have it much worse than me, so I don't mean to be throwing myself a pity party. It's just that when I feel depressed like this I feel like it will never end. I can't imagine ever sleeping a full night or Charlotte ever growing up. I just feel like I'll be stuck in this black hole forever.

 

[bananaz]

Noelle - Big hugs to you. I think everyone here can relate, and you don't sound like a drama queen at all! I hope the midwife is able to help you, sleep really is so so important to a person's overall well being.

MrsPear - I'm glad Joni slept better last night! About the baby monitor thing, how far away is she from you at night? Unless she's on the other side of the house on a different floor I'm sure you would hear her if she needed you, with or without the monitor.


I was totally convinced last night was going to be awful because she only took two 20-minute naps yesterday but it was actually one of her best nights in a long time. She went to sleep at 6:30pm, woke for a quick feed at 3am, and then went right back down until 6am! And thanks to melatonin and deep breathing I actually managed to get some sleep too, which is shocking considering how stressed I am about the court thing today. Anyway, it seems the sleep gods are smiling on us here, hopefully they will be kind to the rest of you too.

 

[Noelle610]

Go Elsie!

 

[mrsbeano]

Totally NOT a drama queen. Just a very tired Mummy. I would take the opportunity for a night off whenever it came my way. For what its worth I have thought many many times I am suffering from PPD and then after a good night's rest I feel completely and utterly normal. I just don't have a laid back personality and am not able to go with the flow so when he isn't doing what he should be, I cope really badly. Big hugs, update us on your appointment tomorrow.

On a side note, who has a Christmas party on a Monday. They must be a more sober affair than mine (free bar, wahoo!)

Bananaz - glad your night was better than anticipated!

 

[Noelle610]

Totally NOT a drama queen. Just a very tired Mummy. I would take the opportunity for a night off whenever it came my way. For what its worth I have thought many many times I am suffering from PPD and then after a good night's rest I feel completely and utterly normal. I just don't have a laid back personality and am not able to go with the flow so when he isn't doing what he should be, I cope really badly. Big hugs, update us on your appointment tomorrow.

On a side note, who has a Christmas party on a Monday. They must be a more sober affair than mine (free bar, wahoo!)

Bananaz - glad your night was better than anticipated!

Same here. I don't have a flexible personality at all. I've gotten better over the years, but having something that's a basic human need - sleep - being totally unpredictable makes my anxiety shoot throug the roof.

Re: Monday holiday party - I work in event planning, so we have all of our parties when no one else does

 

[MiniKiwi]

Aww Noelle I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I know what the anxiety is like but I couldn't cope with insomnia on top of that. Don't feel bad about a night at the neighbours or away so you can get a rest. You'll be a better mum that way.

Do you really have to go to the work party? Can't you make a little lie? Charlotte is teething and needs you tonight? Or something. I could not be bothered with a work party if I was feeling like you are

Do make sure you see a doctor sooner rather than later. I hope they can offer you something that helps with the sleep, you must be exhausted! Charlotte will sleep all night one day, and so will you!

 

[Noelle610]

Aww Noelle I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I know what the anxiety is like but I couldn't cope with insomnia on top of that. Don't feel bad about a night at the neighbours or away so you can get a rest. You'll be a better mum that way.

Do you really have to go to the work party? Can't you make a little lie? Charlotte is teething and needs you tonight? Or something. I could not be bothered with a work party if I was feeling like you are

Do make sure you see a doctor sooner rather than later. I hope they can offer you something that helps with the sleep, you must be exhausted! Charlotte will sleep all night one day, and so will you!

Thank you

I'm debating between a little lie and staying only 30 minutes. I tried to get into the doctor today with no success. My appointment is tomorrow, so I'll let you girls know how it goes!

 

[Shadowy Lady]

hi guys! I've been away but I'm back home now. Just wanted to say I'm pretty sure Sofia's going through the dreaded 4 months sleep regression :/ I've barely slept the last 3 nights as she was up 4-5 time each night The last day in Toronto was awful. We had to attend a family brunch for DH aunts and them to meet Sofia and I looked like %$^#$%! I had to fight tears of sleep deprivation all through the meal :'(

I'm gonna start reading now to see what you all been up to...hopefully all had better nights than me

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Minikiwi - omg hunnie I'm so sorry It's so awful when doctors missread symptoms but worse coz the patient is a baby. Hope Mia feels better soon and you get some rest too. Btw I never told you but I love the name Mia. That's almost what we had picked for Sofia

Bananaz and Jessica - yay! So glad both of you ladies are having great nights. Send some sleep to my regressing baby

Noelle - You're totally not a drama queen. I'm also dealing with post partum insomina and it's SO hard! Melontanin doesn't work and so often I only get like 1-2 hours of sleep all night. I spend so many days being afraid of night time....afraid of not sleeping...worrying that I might go crazy in the end

Glad to hear you DH is great help though. Def take on the offer and recharge for a night at least. I do this too at home. We have a huge bungalow though so I just sleep in the basement with earplugs on my nights off. I find even one night of say 6-hour straight sleep does wonders for me

 

[Noelle610]

hi guys! I've been away but I'm back home now. Just wanted to say I'm pretty sure Sofia's going through the dreaded 4 months sleep regression :/ I've barely slept the last 3 nights as she was up 4-5 time each night The last day in Toronto was awful. We had to attend a family brunch for DH aunts and them to meet Sofia and I looked like %$^#$%! I had to fight tears of sleep deprivation all through the meal :'(

I'm gonna start reading now to see what you all been up to...hopefully all had better nights than me

Oh no Shadowy Lady! I am so sorry. Perhaps it's not the regression, but just difficulty settling into her normal routine when traveling? Fingers crossed that is the case.

 

[MiniKiwi]

Noelle - 30 minutes or a little lie sounds good. Surely everyone will understand anyway, you've got a small baby!

Shadowy - thank you and Sofia was in our top 3 names

 

[bananaz]

Shadowy - I'm sorry the past few nights have been so difficult I agree with Noelle though, it could definitely just be her settling back in after the trip. I hope things improve quickly for you.


Our night was not so great. She went to sleep at 7pm and woke at 1am. I spent 20 minutes trying to soothe her but I was exhausted and had a headache so I finally just gave up and fed her. Then she went back to sleep until 4:30, at which point I ran in there and shoved a boob in her mouth as quickly as possible to keep her from waking up all the way. It didn't matter, though, she was up for the day I was also having horrible hot flashes all night, so that didn't help either.

I really wish I knew WTF was causing these 4:30 wakings. The only thing I can figure is that her bedtime is too late, so I think from now on I'm going to try and make a point of getting her in bed before 6:30pm no matter what. Getting up at 4:30 is just not acceptable!

 

[jessicatunnel]

Bananaz, wouldn't putting her to bed earlier make her wake earlier?

Our night was pretty good. She REFUSED to go to bed at her bedtime, 630, and I tried on and off for two hours to get her to bed! I didn't try to force her though because I knew that would cause unnecessary stress on both of us. I would take her upstairs, try to feed her, rock her, sing to her, whatever I could and if she didn't want it I would bring her back downstairs and try 30 minutes later. I mean she was WIDE awake from 630 to 830. At 830 I could tell she was just shattered, so I tried again and she went to sleep within five minutes of me rocking her and singing to her. She then woke up at 2am for a bottle, and slept until 8am where she was up for the day.

 

[bananaz]

Bananaz, wouldn't putting her to bed earlier make her wake earlier?

You would think so, but I haven't found that to be the case! Generally she sleeps later if I manage to get her down a little earlier. I'm thinking maybe she gets overtired going to bed at 7? Of course her early wakeup time used to be 6, not 4:30, so it wasn't as big a deal before.

Our night was pretty good. She REFUSED to go to bed at her bedtime, 630, and I tried on and off for two hours to get her to bed! I didn't try to force her though because I knew that would cause unnecessary stress on both of us. I would take her upstairs, try to feed her, rock her, sing to her, whatever I could and if she didn't want it I would bring her back downstairs and try 30 minutes later. I mean she was WIDE awake from 630 to 830. At 830 I could tell she was just shattered, so I tried again and she went to sleep within five minutes of me rocking her and singing to her. She then woke up at 2am for a bottle, and slept until 8am where she was up for the day.

Bedtime drama aside, that sounds like a pretty decent night! Any idea what was keeping her up though?

 

[Noelle610]

Jessica, so glad things are going well for you. You deserve it!

Yuck to 4:30am wakeup calls Bananaz. What is with that? I agree with trying to put her to bed early.

Our night wasn't so hot. We were awake from 2:30am to 4:00am. No idea why, again! Ah well.

I went to see my midwife today and they perscribed me Zoloft and some birth control. They felt the anti-depressent combined with the birth control (apparently postpartum insomnia can be partially hormonal) would help. Fingers crossed.

 

[Noelle610]

Oh I wanted to add that I posted on another forum that deals specifically with infant sleep regarding Charlotte's schedule, looking for a solution to her long night waking. A bunch of the posters pointed toward her being overtired, since her last nap often ends at 2pm. I know being awake for 4+ hours isn't good, but I'm not sure what I should do since daycare pickup is at 5pm (they were suggested I put her to bed at that time!). The only thing I can think of is asking her daycare provider to stretch the time between her first and second nap, because getting a third nap in is near impossible these days. Not sure what you ladies think.

I guess it's possible they are right, but at the same time I wonder if I'm overcomplicating this. Plenty of babies sleep well without rigid schedules!

 

[MrsPear]

Jessica it sounds like you're on a roll at the moment! Everyone else...I hope you all get a better sleep tonight. Sounds like you need it.

I'm having a stressed and bad day. Joni just won't nap. I don't know if I'm expecting too many naps from her? Maybe I'm just getting it wrong. She was up at 7:00, 45minute nap at 9:15, 30 minute nap at 12:00 and about 10 minutes at 3:30. It doesn't seem like very much to me? I just rocked her/sang to her/patted her/shhhed her for about 50 minutes but I don't know what I'm getting wrong? She continually starts to droop like she's falling asleep and then BANG! She's awake again.

Last night I think she was only up 3 times, which is not bad. Each time she was up about 45 minutes though. I shouldn't complain, but I just feel so down today. I really feel like I have no idea what she wants, needs or how to do any of it. I don't know when she's tired, I don't know why she wakes in the night, I don't know how to make her happy, I don't know anything.

I think this should be called the, "I feel down, please say nice things to me" thread because we have nearly all been feeling low the past few days it seems to me

 

[Noelle610]

Mrs. Pear, Big hugs. I know what it's like to feel like you just can't put the puzzle together. If it was as easy as "have a bedtime routine" or "let her cry for five minutes", none of us would be bonding together on lack of sleep!

I agree that it doesn't seem like Joni is napping enough. Do you think she's overtired and perhaps you're waiting too long to put her down? Until recently my LO could only be awake 1.5 hours before that morning nap and then she would sleep every two hours through the rest of the day. So if she woke at 7 and slept for an average of 45 minutes, her naps would be 8:30, 11:15, 3:15 or something like that. Worth a try?

 

[bananaz]

Oh I wanted to add that I posted on another forum that deals specifically with infant sleep regarding Charlotte's schedule, looking for a solution to her long night waking. A bunch of the posters pointed toward her being overtired, since her last nap often ends at 2pm. I know being awake for 4+ hours isn't good, but I'm not sure what I should do since daycare pickup is at 5pm (they were suggested I put her to bed at that time!). The only thing I can think of is asking her daycare provider to stretch the time between her first and second nap, because getting a third nap in is near impossible these days. Not sure what you ladies think.

I guess it's possible they are right, but at the same time I wonder if I'm overcomplicating this. Plenty of babies sleep well without rigid schedules!

Plenty of babies aren't our babies I think trying to space out the naps is probably your best bet. A 5pm bedtime sounds kind of ridiculous, even if you weren't working.