Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[MrsPear]

MiniKiwi, that sounds AWFUL. Joni might sleep badly, but she is generally tired throughout the night and I can get her to sleep, it's just keeping her that way that's the problem. Being up up all night (if that makes sense) is a whole other ball game, you have my full respect for the hours you are putting in the the middle of the night. i hope that it gets better for you soon.

Joni is generally waking every 2 hours for a feed at the moment. I hate it, but it is bearable. At least I get to sleep in between each time. At the moment I am not having ANY trouble sleeping except at the start of the night when I find it hard to switch off. The minute my head hits the pillow I'm away. I think maybe because Joni is actually being quite predictable- yes she wakes a lot but it is at least 2 weeks since she was up every 20 minutes (except maybe at the end of the night). I never would have thought that I would be pleased she was waking every 2 hours (and I do think she is hungry because she seems eager to feed) but if it's consistent at least I know where I am with it.

x

 

[Noelle610]

MiniKiwi, I am SO sorry. Here I am complaining about waking up at 3am when you've been up all night this week. Poor Mia, she must feel awful. I don't think her medication is causing the waking, but I do think it's likely not strong enough. I agree with Bananaz recommendation. I would call your doctor if she continues sleeping like this. It's not only inconvenient for you, but Mia needs more sleep to recover from her infection. I know that babies are sometimes given benadryl (diphenhydramine) and that can help them sleep when they are very ill.

MrsPear - There IS something to be said for consistency!

Anti - I agree that it's possibly developmental. My LO has been trying to crawl and babbling a ton! I was telling a colleague about this pattern (she has a two year old) and she remarked, "Sounds like a wonder week!".

Bananaz + Aliss, on sleep training, it's interesting. I'm really not against it. EVERYONE (and I mean everyone) where I am does it and usually at 4 months. I don't think it's necessarily detrimental to a child's mental health, but I don't think it's a quick fix. I think it can work for a very specific problem - serious sleep associations.

There was a girl on here who had a baby that woke every 90 minutes for months and had to be rocked back to sleep (for up to an hour each time). She did CC and in three nights he was STTN. He obviously didn't know how to self-soothe and had to "learn" to sleep without the rocking. But that's not really our issue.

My DH is influenced by these stories you read about parents that do CIO for three nights and baby is STTN every night from that point on. I just don't think that's the way it works - there's always teething, illness, developmental milestones. In all fairness, my husband is a wonderful guy. My PND is so much worse when I'm sleep deprived and I think he just wants me to be happy. I'm seeing my midwife this week, so I'm hoping that will help.

What makes me really mad is the assumption of those around me that I'm doing something wrong. I've had a few moms (like DH's best friend) say to me, "You're just a first time mom and afraid to let your baby cry. You have to stop responding to her every fuss". As all of you know on this board, I DON'T do that. I just want to yell, "YOUR BABY DOESN'T SLEEP 12 HOURS STRAIGHT BECAUSE YOU ARE SUPER MOM. YOU GOT LUCKY". Anyway, I guess I shouldn't worry about being judged, but I do.

Aliss, you're allowed to complain I created a thread called "8 Week Old Baby Not Sleeping Through the Night" at one point. I just DIDN'T KNOW that wasn't normal, since two of my close friends had babies that STTN at 6 weeks old. Of course I got ripped apart, and rightfully so. But I won't tell you not to complain LOL!

 

[jessicatunnel]

I JUST noticed all of our babies are around the same age!
Minikiwi, i have so much respect for you, that sounds like a terrible night. idk how you did it, i probably would have snapped!!

As for sleep training, I'm not against it whatsoever', but for our household its just not right for us. My whole family has done CIO and have told me multiple times to do it. My best friend did it to her baby at six weeks, which I was actually pretty against, but kept my mouth shut. Anyway, im fine with anyone who wants to do it, we just decide not to.

And for sleeping through, my whole life my family has told me babies should be sleeping through by 3 months so when three months came and lilly wasn't sleeping through i thought i was doing something wrong, my family is still in shock that shes still not sleeping through. But allllllll babies are different and all sleep through at different times.

Our night was actually really good. She went to bed at 8, because we went out for dinner, and she slept until 4am, 8 hours!! That's the longest she's ever slept. I fed her at 4 and she went back down at 415 and slept until 8am. Her sleep is definitely improving, I just hope it stays this way!

 

[stephj25]

hey guys, I'm back again!! I'm sorry for everyone that has had several rubbish nights sleep - and to MiniKiwi.

My LO is back to waking every 2 hours again!! I'm so confused, I thought it was supposed to stop at 29 weeks, my LO is now 30 weeks...

Something good has come out of her waking so much though - Olivia was crying for 10mins yesterday and fell asleep before I went up to her (usually wait 15mins) and she was sleeping on her tummy for the first time ever!!

Has anyone else's LO dropped a nap?? Olivia kept fighting the 3rd nap (4pm) and fussing through it so I stopped putting her down. She now naps 11-12pm & 2-4pm. She has only dropped it in the last few days so I wondered if it is having an effect on her sleep??

 

[Noelle610]

Jessica, what a GREAT night! I actually remember a lot of you ladies from 3rd tri.... I'm sorry we all are coming together again over lack of sleep.

Steph, Charlotte is trying to drop that third nap and I just don't get how I'm supposed to go about it. She napped today from 9am-10:30am and 1:00pm-2:30pm. 3 hours of daytime sleep is plenty, but her bedtime is around 6:30pm. 4 hours seem to long for her to be up! I tried putting her down for a nap at 4:30pm, just thinking she could go to bed a bit later, but she wasn't having it. We ultimately ended up putting her down around 5:45pm, because she was sooo cranky. Wonder what this will mean for tonight.

 

[bananaz]

Steph, Charlotte is trying to drop that third nap and I just don't get how I'm supposed to go about it. She napped today from 9am-10:30am and 1:00pm-2:30pm. 3 hours of daytime sleep is plenty, but her bedtime is around 6:30pm. 4 hours lol seem to long for her to be up! I tried putting her down for a nap at 4:30pm, just thinking she could go to bed a bit later, but she wasn't having it. We ultimately ended up putting her down around 5:45pm, because she was sooo cranky. Wonder what this will mean for tonight.

We're having the exact same issue, timing and all. Sometimes I solve it by pushing her second nap a little later or by lulling her to sleep in the car around 4, but other times she just ends up being awake for 4+ hours and it sucks. I'm guessing that within the next few weeks their max awake times will increase and the issue will sort itself out, but these transitional periods are so difficult!

And Jessica, that sounds like an awesome night So happy for you!

 

[MiniKiwi]

Awww thanks for all the sympathy! Nobody I know in real life actually understands so I can't whinge to anyone about it! It's weird how positive I'm feeling about it though, I think it's cause I know she's feeling worse than me and just needs my help.

I phoned the doctor and healthline and they think she's fine and we just have to wait it out and that paracetamol is all she needs but thanks so much for the suggestion, bananaz. I'm so nervous for tonight, I feel physically ill with tiredness and she's slept on and off for a lot of today. Oh no!!

Jessica, I'm so happy for you! What an awesome night, you really deserve this. I remember reading about Lilly's numerous night wakings and thinking I'd just go crazy.

Mrspear! I actually lol'd at that you never thought you'd be pleased with 2 hourly wakings! That's just how I feel. I missed that your LO was waking every 20 minutes.. I usually only pop into this thread when I really can't handle it all Every 20 minutes is so cruel, her actually going to sleep gives you a little bit of hope that she might stay asleep and you can just relax for a moment and then it's snatched away from you! Brutal. I'm glad it's getting better at least

Aw Stephj I hope you get some longer stretches soon. It's just so rough being woken from your deep sleeps. I find waking after 2 hours particularly hard

 

[jessicatunnel]

Another good night here. She went to bed at seven and stayed asleep. I went to check on her at ten, and she was still asleep, but I bumped her dresser (I really need to move that!) and it woke her up. But she went back to sleep five minutes later so I don't count that. She then slept until 4am and woke up for a bottle. Went back to sleep and slept until 745am where she woke up for the day.

It looks like we're down to one waking a night now. I'm cool with that.

 

[Noelle610]

That's amazing Jessica!!!

 

[bananaz]

Another good night here. She went to bed at seven and stayed asleep. I went to check on her at ten, and she was still asleep, but I bumped her dresser (I really need to move that!) and it woke her up. But she went back to sleep five minutes later so I don't count that. She then slept until 4am and woke up for a bottle. Went back to sleep and slept until 745am where she woke up for the day.

It looks like we're down to one waking a night now. I'm cool with that.

How awesome is that! And just a few weeks ago weren't you guys up 6+ times a night? It's crazy how fast things can change!

We had a pretty good night too. I put LO down happy and awake a little after 7pm and she fell asleep on her own within about 10 minutes (I'm still in awe over this whole self-settling thing at bedtime. Hopefully I can get her to do it for naps soon...) She woke for a feed at 3am then went straight down until 5:15am. I nursed her again and it seemed like she was going to go back to sleep but then around 5:45 she started crying and when I went in to soothe her I noticed she had a massive dirty diaper that had leaked onto her legs. I knew there was no way I'd be able to get her back down after changing her so at that point I admitted defeat and just got her up for the day.

It seems like every night she either has a long stretch of sleep and then gets up early, or she has shorter stretches of sleep but gets up at a reasonable time. I know I'm getting picky now, but would sleeping 6+ hours in a row and then staying down until at least 6am be too much to ask for?

 

[aliss]

What makes me really mad is the assumption of those around me that I'm doing something wrong. I've had a few moms (like DH's best friend) say to me, "You're just a first time mom and afraid to let your baby cry. You have to stop responding to her every fuss". As all of you know on this board, I DON'T do that. I just want to yell, "YOUR BABY DOESN'T SLEEP 12 HOURS STRAIGHT BECAUSE YOU ARE SUPER MOM. YOU GOT LUCKY". Anyway, I guess I shouldn't worry about being judged, but I do.

LOL!!

I always laugh how people think that they "made" the baby that way (usually by rattling off their 6pm bath/bed bottle routine). Get over yourselves, they are made that way I felt like knocking door to door with #2 was born to say "SEE, SEE, I'M NOT CRAZY".

Of course I say that during a wonder week But still it's no big deal, he is up every 2 hours but BFs right back down to sleep. It's the getting up... staying up & screaming for an hour ... that kills me!! And you girls too! I'm sure!

Oh bananaz, the 5am sign of defeat sure does suck, especially in the winter. Boo for winter when it feels like ages until the sun comes out and we feel human.

 

[MiniKiwi]

Thought I'd update you guys. Last night my mini got worse and OH and I took her to the ER. After lots of worrying tests and tears, they found LO has a uti, maybe caused by a kidney problem

I can't help but feel a little angry at the two doctors and two nurses who I spoke with who kept telling me she was fine. I think I come across as one of those crazy, overly worried mums - I guess I am but they didn't take me seriously

The hospital said we should be out on Thursday or Friday. I'm so upset she was in such awful pain for so long and all she had was paracetamol for it.

Jessica and bananaz - congrats on another awesome night. I can't wait to be back to 1 or 2 wakings, I'm sure Mia can't wait either

 

[jessicatunnel]

Thought I'd update you guys. Last night my mini got worse and OH and I took her to the ER. After lots of worrying tests and tears, they found LO has a uti, maybe caused by a kidney problem

I can't help but feel a little angry at the two doctors and two nurses who I spoke with who kept telling me she was fine. I think I come across as one of those crazy, overly worried mums - I guess I am but they didn't take me seriously

The hospital said we should be out on Thursday or Friday. I'm so upset she was in such awful pain for so long and all she had was paracetamol for it.

Jessica and bananaz - congrats on another awesome night. I can't wait to be back to 1 or 2 wakings, I'm sure Mia can't wait either

I'm angry for you! It's frustrating when doctors don't thoroughly check your baby and just assume everything is fine with them. Poor little mia. I feel so sorry for that sweet baby. I hope they help your little girl and she starts feeling better soon.

 

[bananaz]

Thought I'd update you guys. Last night my mini got worse and OH and I took her to the ER. After lots of worrying tests and tears, they found LO has a uti, maybe caused by a kidney problem

I can't help but feel a little angry at the two doctors and two nurses who I spoke with who kept telling me she was fine. I think I come across as one of those crazy, overly worried mums - I guess I am but they didn't take me seriously

The hospital said we should be out on Thursday or Friday. I'm so upset she was in such awful pain for so long and all she had was paracetamol for it.

Oh my gosh, big hugs to both of you! UTIs have always been one of my biggest fears for LO because they're missed so often. I hope Mini is feeling better now that she's getting proper treatment and that her hospital stay is brief.

 

[MiniKiwi]

Thanks. Bananaz, you don't need to worry cause you already know about them. I had no idea and all it would have taken is for the first doctor to ask for a urine sample. Apparently her throat was red though so put the fever down to that. Any unexplained fevers and you should get a urine test. The hospital was almost going to let us go home last night until one dr asked for a urine sample before we go. God, I feel so awful for my LO and probably won't be able to trust her doctor again

 

[MrsPear]

MiniKiwi I am annoyed for you. You kept asking them if there was more you could do and they kept giving you paracetamol- I know parents can be neurotic but if they had run a simple test they could have found it a lot sooner. It's hardly rocket science to ask for a urine test and UTIs are very common in all age ranges. Get well soon little one xxx

 

[Noelle610]

MiniKiwi, I am SO sorry! Poor Mia and poor you. The only "good" thing about this is now you know what is wrong and hopefully things will improve once it begins to clear up.

We're still struggling with the long early morning waking. Charlotte is almost sleep-crying and not really awake, and I'm further convinced it's teething. I've been up since 3am (it's 5:15am here) and she's finally gone back to sleep, but I need to get up for work. I feel utterly awful today. I've been having really bad back pain and I think it's from lack of sleep. I wonder how long this can go on for.

I don't mind working - it fact, I'm glad I get some adult time. Even when I'm sleep deprived I usually find it helpful to get up, get dressed and make myself look nice, and have a definitive start and end to the day. But for some reason that has all gone out the window recently. I feel so exhausted that it's a huge chore to interact with anyone.

 

[MrsPear]

Oh Noelle you sound really down today I hope you get some sleep soon. I understand the aches and pains, I get that too.

Joni has been really grumpy today I wonder if she is coming down with something. Last night she slept really well though- from 2am to 6.30am which she rarely rarely does. BUT I don't think the baby monitor was working as when OH went and said good morning to her I didn't hear it on the monitor. Hmmmm, I hope she wasn't crying in the night. I think I would hear if she screamed but she is on a different floor to us with the doors closed so I definitely wouldn't hear crying at a normal volume. But anyway, I got some sleep and she seemed fine in the morning so I'm not too worried about it x

 

[Noelle610]

Glad you got some rest MrsPear

I am pretty down today. I just can't stop feeling like I'd be okay if only I could get a few solid hours of rest. The probably is really not my LO right now, but me. If I was sleeping soundly prior to her waking, I think I could cope, but my postpartum insomnia is terrible.

I'm going to see my midwife tomorrow in hopes they can help, but I fear they'll just suggest I take melatonin or refer me elsewhere. I'm almost 7 months postpartum and I really need to get my mental health in check. I hope they take me seriously.

 

[mrsbeano]

Glad you got some rest MrsPear

I am pretty down today. I just can't stop feeling like I'd be okay if only I could get a few solid hours of rest. The probably is really not my LO right now, but me. If I was sleeping soundly prior to her waking, I think I could cope, but my postpartum insomnia is terrible.

I'm going to see my midwife tomorrow in hopes they can help, but I fear they'll just suggest I take melatonin or refer me elsewhere. I'm almost 7 months postpartum and I really need to get my mental health in check. I hope they take me seriously.

They will take you seriously. I think its just the anxiety of not knowing what the night ahead will be like. If Quinn has a run of bad nights I'm the same and quite frankly noone can cope on a couple of hours sleep, especially when they are working long hour.

How do you work it with your DH? Do you do one night each?