Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[megangrohl]

Thats great Noelle. I didn't know you had PND but am glad it's being sorted now. Sleep deprivation must have made that 10 times worse.

 

[Noelle610]

Thats great Noelle. I didn't know you had PND but am glad it's being sorted now. Sleep deprivation must have made that 10 times worse.

I didn't know I had it either! For awhile I just thought I wasn't suited to be a mom. I'm so happy to sought treatment. I don't know why it took me so long. I wanted to do things naturally, but getting on some medication was the best thing I ever did. I'm actually enjoying being a mom now, even when I'm tired.

Sleep deprivation does play a big part in how I feel. Toward the worst of my PND, I was having really bad insomnia as well and I wasn't sleeping even when Charlotte slept. Now if I can rest when she does, I find I don't feel nearly as bad as I did before.

 

[megangrohl]

Thats great Noelle. I didn't know you had PND but am glad it's being sorted now. Sleep deprivation must have made that 10 times worse.

I didn't know I had it either! For awhile I just thought I wasn't suited to be a mom. I'm so happy to sought treatment. I don't know why it took me so long. I wanted to do things naturally, but getting on some medication was the best thing I ever did. I'm actually enjoying being a mom now, even when I'm tired.

Sleep deprivation does play a big part in how I feel. Toward the worst of my PND, I was having really bad insomnia as well and I wasn't sleeping even when Charlotte slept. Now if I can rest when she does, I find I don't feel nearly as bad as I did before.

Awww, glad it is all sorted. I felt like that too, like I was just not a good mom. Maybe I had it too and just didn't know, like you? I don't feel like that anymore though. Hmm... I did the same thing. I had terrible insomnia I couldn't sleep and was lucky if I got 2 or 3 hours!

 

[Noelle610]

Thats great Noelle. I didn't know you had PND but am glad it's being sorted now. Sleep deprivation must have made that 10 times worse.

I didn't know I had it either! For awhile I just thought I wasn't suited to be a mom. I'm so happy to sought treatment. I don't know why it took me so long. I wanted to do things naturally, but getting on some medication was the best thing I ever did. I'm actually enjoying being a mom now, even when I'm tired.

Sleep deprivation does play a big part in how I feel. Toward the worst of my PND, I was having really bad insomnia as well and I wasn't sleeping even when Charlotte slept. Now if I can rest when she does, I find I don't feel nearly as bad as I did before.

Awww, glad it is all sorted. I felt like that too, like I was just not a good mom. Maybe I had it too and just didn't know, like you? I don't feel like that anymore though. Hmm... I did the same thing. I had terrible insomnia I couldn't sleep and was lucky if I got 2 or 3 hours!

Maybe you did! I'm really glad you're feeling better. I think it helps that our LOs are getting old and they're like little people now - they smile and laugh and really give back. Having a newborn is so hard, since it's all give and no receive!

Insomnia is the absolute worst. I felt like I was going to DIE of lack of sleep. It peaked over the Christmas holiday for me and once I got a good night's sleep (which is like 6 hours straight for me now haha), I felt like a new person.

 

[megangrohl]

I felt like that too lol it was so horrible. I cried all the time but I had a rocky time with DF then, but we got thru it and are engaged now! So I think it was everything all at once, and yes our babies are almost into toddlerhood. Well Lily is only 3.5 months away! So it will only get better with time. At least that is what I keep telling myself. 6 hours is usually what Lily does when she is not teething or ill. It feels great doesn't it

 

[MiniKiwi]

I was one of those "smug" mums who thought she was doing something right. My LO turning into a crap sleeper was humbling, I now understand that it was nothing I did or am doing. I wouldn't wish a bad sleeper on any mum or baby though, it's awful for everyone involved, bad for bonding, bad for other family relationships but mostly bad for the baby!

When I meet a smug mum, I let them be smug and have confidence in their parenting, good for them!

How many of you get angry at a dumb person for saying something dumb? It's the same principle. They have no experience so they don't know what they're talking about and getting all annoyed over their naivety is only hurting you.

 

[AngelUK]

You are right of course MiniKiwi. Sigh. I should rise above it, I know. And I will, as soon as I feel more rested. xxx

 

[Irish Eyes]

I can't remember which one of you ladies said about your baby being in a moses basket when they learnt to roll so it didn't bother them but thank you! As last night was awful, I thought I might as well do what I can to get him back in the crib before it goes on too long. I put a pillow in the crib to stop him rolling on that side. Did the normal bedtime routine & laid him down. when he cried I comforted him and laid him back down. he went to sleep!! SLEEP!!! He's been ASLEEP for nearly 3 HOURS!!!!

MiniKiwi i used to have a good sleeper as well. I wish I knew what caused the change but so much was going on. He did STTN for a while, then 1-2 wake ups which was fine for me!

 

[lysh]

In other news, I am leaving baby with her grandma and going out for a few hours tonight. Does anyone else feel totally crazy when they "spend" potential sleep time doing frivolous things like, oh, having a social life and being an adult? It makes me feel so irresponsible, lol.

I rarely go out at night because it is not worth the hassle at the moment, but the few times I attempted too I did feel crazy that I was wasting potential sleep time! lol When sleep deprived, every bit counts!!!! However, it is nice being an adult every now and then with a social life! haha I am forgetting what the feels like. Hope you have a good time!

i hate to say it but my lo's sleep is really getting me down. i try to be grateful and positive that she's healthy and etc, but it's hard at times when i'm so tired and feeling awful. it also gives me horrid anxiety because i don't feel like it will ever get better. i have some health anxiety/phobias and i'm always worrying, what if i'm really sick and she won't settle, what if, what if.

she takes cat naps in the day like 30 minutes. then will sleep if i hold her in the evenings. last night i had a headache and sore throat. i fed her and held her till she was asleep, put her in the pack n play, went to lay down, closed my eyes and she was awake crying as soon as i closed them. it feels like torture.

just having a whine

Feel free to whine! It is hard!! I have days where I am just done in. This weekend was a bit rough for me and last night I was having a hard time. Sunday morning I honestly woke up with LO at 3:45 sobbing because I was so tired and just wanted desperately to go back to sleep. The worst feeling in the world is when you lay down and finally close your eyes to then hear crying......sometimes it is like a form of torture!!!! I try to remind myself that LO is not doing it to torture me and that she does not know any better, but it is hard when exhausted. Hang in there momma...it has to get better one day!

lysh - my DH doesn't complain about being tired nearly as much since I started threatening to kick him in the junk whenever he said it

LOL.....yeah, if I threaten DH with that I would probably be in for an argument! I need the help he gives me, so I try to just ignore it and move on! He will get up with her and take turns with me. He can't BF her during the night, but in the mornings he is 'on duty' he will bring her to me and I nurse her in bed and then he takes her. I do not get to sleep in for long because I either have to get up for work or if it is the weekend she wants to BF at some poing.

I haven't been on for a couple of days but things here just aren't improving Last night I propped myself up with pillows for LO to sleep upright on me. His ears must be really bad, I feel awful for him! Going to ring the doctors at 8am for an appointment for him.

In some ways I feel like I'm getting used to getting no sleep but I'm really starting to feel down about it as well. It's starting to affect mine & OHs relationship a bit, I'm resenting the fact that he gets a full nights sleep every night while I don't sleep at all.

Awwww....hope your LO feels better soon. I went through a phase like that with DH (I sometimes still get in those moods like this past weekend). Granted I make the choice to BF, but it is still hard to be the one getting up to feed LO. Yes, he stirs and wakes up a bit when she cries and wakes up when I get back to bed, but it is not the same. I think it is normal for couples to go through stuff like this. Does he help in other ways or take LO for a bit so you can sleep in ever?

Last night was awful!!!! Charlotte was awake from 2:30am to 4:30am and started her day at 5:30am. No idea why! She was very upset. We tried everything from advil to feeding to rocking. Nothing worked. She woke up with no fever though and was quite happy. WTH???? I'm tired.

Oh no! After having such a good streak, this much have felt like hell!! So sorry.....you must have had a long day at work.

Lysh - glad to hear your LO is sleeping better. Do you usually go to her right away when she wakes up? I find with mine sometimes when I let her fuss for a few minutes she just goes right back to sleep...

No, we do not go in right away. We give her anywhere from 10-15 minutes to settle down. Sometimes she is back and forth...it seems like she is about to settle so we wait longer and then she is crying again. Last night she cried for 10 minutes, went back to sleep, and then woke up 30 minutes later crying again. At that point I just went in because I was so freaking tired I could not take going through that again to only have her sleep another 30 minutes.

LOL....you must have loved hearing that complaint! It is crazy to witness babies who sleep easily/well first hand. I was visiting a friend and her baby (only 2 months older than my LO). All of a sudden she is like, "he is getting sleepy, I will be right back'. She picked him up, put him in his crib and came back into the living room. Sure enough, he freaking fell asleep!!! No fussing, just went right to sleep for a nice nap. Can't say I have any idea what that feels like! Naps have always been a struggle!


Well, last night was not great. LO was back to wanting to wake up every 2 hours. I basically got a total of 5 hours of broken sleep. Then she was wide awake at 4- DH thankfully took her but I still had to BF her until 4:40 and then I had to wake up at 5:30 for work. I am praying for better sleep tonight!!!!! Personally, I need a night to refresh a bit because I am starting to feel beat up!

 

[Aimee1003]

Bananaz- Hope u had a great time. We have had friends over a few times and my "late night " is 9:30. Lol. One day I will be fun again. I can't wait to do a shot when I finish breastfeeding!!!

Socity Courty- Every one of us has felt like we reached our breaking point. The other night Coleton was up from 10-1 am. Every time I laid him down he woke up. I rock him while "shhhh-ing" but was so frustrated that I guess my shhhing was a little loud. It scared him and made him cry. I felt like such a bad mom!!! Hang in there...

Libby- you need to leave LO with DH and go have a spa day. Don't worry, if you leave them long enough they will figure it out.

Lysh- I have had a few days start at 4 but never 3!!!! Once I was so tired that I laid my head on my desk for just a second and woke up an hour later. Luckily it was lunch time so I just considered that my lunch break.

Noelle- hope tonight is BETTER!

Irish- I can't even imagine having to hold LO all night. You get the mommy award!!!

Does anyone else get nervous at bedtime? It is so stressful not knowing how the night will go. C had a MOTN party last night from 10-12 and a 3 am wakeup. I cried. Sometimes I am so exhausted that I don't know how I will make it. 2 wake ups would have been a good night but with that long one it just made for sleep hell.

 

[Aimee1003]

Omg. Wonder week book says WW 37 can start as earlybas week 31. That is when our sleep went to hell. Please please please let this be the reason for the horrible sleep (no tooth yet so I am on to other reasons!). Because if so then there is an end in sight!!!!!

 

[Sunnie1984]

Yawn.... can I join please?

My DD was sleeping 12 hours through the night from 9 weeks, and only one night waking before that.....


Then the four month sleep regression/wonder week 19 hit and I have no idea what to do. She wakes four times a night at least, one of them for over an hour, and does not want food.

She's learnt to roll over in the last week, and now does it constantly then gets mad because she can't get back from being on her tummy and can't crawl. She's so desperate to crawl, that even when she gets mad and I turn her back over she just rolls back and starts again!

She's only four and a half months and so I think we're in for a long time of this until she can crawl, which probably won't be for ages!

Thankfully I was waiting for this, especially after reading this thread (i have been an avid silent reader). My DH was smug.... hahahaha he was rather less smug this morning after having to get up with her four times.

She doesn't really need us or want anything but she babbles so loudly that we can hear her through two closed doors!

I am hoping it's just wonder week rather than sleep regression, because she seems to be able to do the first 8 hour stretch ok, it's just after that that the problems kick in....

where is the coffee

 

[libbylou]

lysh - at the time I started threatening my DH with bodily harm for complaining about being tired, he didn't help AT ALL. I was on duty with LO 100% of the time. DH would opt to go to bed super late even when he had to get up in the morning for work, then complain because he got woken up for a few mins at a time whenever the baby woke up at night and in the morning he was "soooo tired"
Sorry you guys had such a terrible night I can't even imagine having to get up in the morning and go function at work after some of these sleepless nights...most days I'm lucky I have the energy to have a shower and get dressed

Noelle - glad to hear the medication is helping you enjoy being a momma more. I've been really struggling to get through my PPD without medication, but I'm realizing that it's not going to happen. I'm tired of being an out of control mess and I'm tired of wishing I could just walk out the front door and not come back. The sleep deprivation makes things a thousand times worse too for sure

Sunnie - sounds more like a wonder week than the sleep regression. When my LO went through sleep regression, she went from sleeping 4-6 hours at a time to sleeping 45-60 MINUTES at a time For 3 months.
I think it's really common for babies to see some sleep issues when they learn something new especially the physical stuff like crawling, rolling etc, but it doesn't last forever luckily

Irish - I think that was me who mentioned the bassinet and LO rolling. Glad you were able to use the pillows to keep your LO on his back!

 

[socitycourty]

i've got the out of control mess feeling as well as wanting to run away. i keep putting off getting help, who knows why....

 

[Sunnie1984]

Sunnie - sounds more like a wonder week than the sleep regression. When my LO went through sleep regression, she went from sleeping 4-6 hours at a time to sleeping 45-60 MINUTES at a time For 3 months.
I think it's really common for babies to see some sleep issues when they learn something new especially the physical stuff like crawling, rolling etc, but it doesn't last forever luckily

Phew, thank goodness for that! I don't mind her waking when she actually wants feeding, like in a growth spurt, but it is just maddening when she wants nothing and just babbles herself back to sleep after an hour.


Plus it doesn't help that I can't sleep through it, like my DH can, so even when it's his night, I'm still awake, even though I don't have to get up to her.

Although, she's gone down for a nap, rolled onto her stomach and fallen asleep there, and been there for 40 minutes now. So hopefully she'll begin to settle sleeping like that if she rolls over, as she can't get back.

I was fretting because she only took 30 minute naps, now she's taking longer naps but sleeping less at night Come back 30 minute naps, we miss you!

Sorry your LO suffered through the sleep regression, that's just horrendous that it took three months to balance out.

I hope we all start getting better rest soon, sleep deprivation is complete torture!

 

[libbylou]

i've got the out of control mess feeling as well as wanting to run away. i keep putting off getting help, who knows why....

I know, I put it off for months too. I get it
After the last month we've had (which has been aggravated by terrible sleep and Christmas stress), I know I need help.
Every day I cry, often more than once....I've had more panic attacks than usual...I end up yelling at DH and LO and it makes me feel awful and guilty...I want to walk out the door and never come back all the time...I've even told LO (whilst bawling my eyes out) that I don't want to be her mom anymore Every day I feel sad and anxious and I've had enough

Sunnie - in the end we have to sleep train at 6 months to sort LO out. Obviously it didn't "fix" her since I'm posting in this thread, but it did teach her how to self settle so she stopped waking up every time she hit a light sleep cycle and now bedtime takes 15-30 happy mins instead of 1-3 hours of crying
My LO realized that she loved tummy sleeping pretty quick, hopefully yours will too!

 

[Irish Eyes]

Socity & Libby I'm the same as you both. I've been getting more & more angry with OH just because he sleeps yet I find it so hard to ask for help. I just know people are thinking "told you so" I have a lot of control issues & wanting to be the perfect mum/wife so it just feels like I'm failing. I did tell OH that I'm pissed with his family though that during the time he works away they haven't asked once how me & LO are doing. There's been a lot of snow here and not once have they offered any help.

The pillow didn't last for long. I was trying to night wean as well as he's hardly drinking in the day due to having so much at night. Got him down to one feed last night! He had a MOTN party as well, maybe him & Coleton have some sort of signal that we don't know about?! Finished the night by propping myself up on pillows again while he slept on me, I don't sleep but it's comfortable.

How was everyone elses night? Please tell me at least someone here got some sleep?!!!!

 

[AngelUK]

First of all libby !
We had an ok night, I guess. We went to bed at 10, Sebastian woke at 11 and cried for 2 minutes before going back to sleep. At 12:30 Dominic woke crying and I thought he wanted his bottle but by the time I had prepared it, he had fallen asleep again. So I left it cause I knew he'd be up again soon. He wanted the bottle at 1:40 instead and was awake babbling for a good 30 mins after that. Then they woke for the day at 5:30. So not a whole lot of sleep but better than it has been.
Thing is... do you ladies feel that the constant worry about sleep and the constant tiredness robs you a little of what should be an amazing time? Ppl keep saying try and relax and enjoy their babyhood, it goes by to quickly. And I know that is so and I want to cry cause it is going by so fast! But although I love my boys with all my heart and consider them the greatest joy of my life and feel so very blessed to have them both, I know I would enjoy mummyhood more if I got to sleep more. I feel bad for admitting this but the constant tiredness is casting a pall or haze over the last 9 months and a bit and I feel cheated. Any one else?

 

[Irish Eyes]

Angel I completely understand. I had a cry yesterday as I feel like I'm wishing his life away just waiting for the time that he sleeps. We saved so hard to mean that I can take a full year off work and I'm not enjoying it like I should.

Other ladies that I know with babies say about how getting out of the house to do lots helps, but when you haven't slept more than an hour at a time in over a month, it makes it hard to have the energy to do anything! I think my LO is losing out as well by having a mummy that's always tired, I feel so sorry for him

 

[Noelle610]

Hi Girls!

Meghan, I am SO happy to hear things are going well for you! I remember you were doing this on your own for some time. I cannot even imagine. I can't believe our girls are so old now. It feels like we were in 3rd tri just yesterday.

Bananaz, I missed that you were going out... I must have been tired I absolutely have a hard time enjoying things when I feel like I could be SLEEPING. DH will often watch Charlotte on Saturday nights, since my friends do a group dinner around 7:30pm. This feels SO LATE to me now and I sometimes find myself thinking about the sleep I'm missing even though it used to be one of my favorite activities.

Socity & Libby, coming from the other side here... Get help for PND!!!! I tried everything natural - yoga, accupuncture, meditation, exercise, even therapy alone. I really needed medication. I was telling my husband this morning that I dind't realize I could feel this "normal" again. It was so hard to take that step, though, so I'm right there with you. It also felt useless to me at the time because I had to wait so long for doctors' appointments (not sure if it's the same for you) and kept cancelling.

Sunnie, whether a wonder week or sleep regression, 4 months is the WORST time for sleep. Get through this and the rest of the wonder weeks and regressions - IMO - are nothing in comparisson.

Irish, when Charlotte was rolling in her sleep it was the worst! That coincided with the 4 month regression for us. I would do pillows under her crib sheet, sleep positioners, etc and everything would work for a few days and she would just learn to roll over whatever crazy thing I had created. It did pass.

Aimee, I think we're right in WW37 too. It's driving me a little nuts, during the day and night. Separation anxiety is definitely setting in. I can't put Charlotte down!

Angel, yes, yes! I do feel I could enjoy motherhood more if the sleep thing wasn't such an issue. Whenever Charlotte and I both have a good night I think, "Wow, THIS is how it feels to to have fun with this mom stuff".

Last night was OK for us. She was very overtired and cried out a lot in her sleep early in the evening. She had a somewhat long waking around 3am-4am, but it wasn't terrible. I couldn't figure out if she was stuffy, having separation anxiety, etc.

Question - do you ladies ever feel like your efforts to soothe backfire? Last night during her long waking I kept comforting Charlotte every 10 minutes or so, but I actually felt like I was waking her up! She would be fussing/crying on and off for some time, but I'd pick her up to comfort her and she seemed MORE upset by that. I don't want to just let her cry, but at the same time this experience made me understand why people do CIO rather than CC. I almost felt like she wanted to be left alone.