Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Noelle610]

I'm pretty sure that I mentioned that my nephew is an amazing sleeper but I witnessed it for myself on Christmas Day. He was very over stimulated so very tired and my sister put him down to sleep at 5.30pm. He slept right through until... 8am when my sister got him up!!! Hes 11 months and averages 4hours in the day and 12/13 at night. Madness. The best bit... my sister complained that she was tired

Why is that when I read stuff like this my kneejerk response is always to get angry and hope that their next child sleeps horribly? I think I'm just a very bitter person,haha.

Haha me too! It's awful, I know. The worst are the moms who think their kid sleeps well because of something they did "right". Sorry, no. I've read more sleep books and kept more logs than any of you!

The other little baby at Charlotte's daycare was STTN since 3 months old (they're the same age) and her mom told me today she can't remember the last time she slept through. She had a pretty bad regression around 6 months. Our daycare provider remarked that the girls had switched sleeping patterns since Charlotte was sleeping better (not that last night was evidence of that!), and I admit to feeling a bit smug. That said, this mom is really, really nice, so I did feel a little bad about feeling smug.


Hope you and Elsie feel better soon! I almost wish Charlotte was sick so I could explain her poor sleeping last night!

 

[Irish Eyes]

Oh, not only do I hope the smug mums have a bad sleeper next time, but I secretly hope they have bad sleeping twins. I get it a lot from MIL who points out that hers STTN and if I'd done the 4 hour routine, weaning at 4 months then I wouldn't be having these problems! Oh and it was most likely caused by over use of the sling and holding him too much.

Apparantly LOs ear infection has cleared and he's healthy. I know it sounds awful but that makes it worse as there's nothing that can help him! He still won't even be laid down in his crib now at all. Not sure how it affects things with you guys but my relationship is being hit by it now. My hubby drives 4 hours everyday so it's not safe for him to be tired, however as I watch him sleeping peacefully while I haven't slept at all I really start resenting him. I have arguements with him in my head and then I'm annoyed with him in the morning for an arguement he never even had!

 

[Irish Eyes]

he does help but he's useless at night. he's now pestering me to make her sleep on her own, as if it's that easy. urgh

i know it won't go on forever but right now i feel like a zombie. i have zero interest in anything.

I 100% understand about the zero interest. I feel like I'm completely wasting my maternity leave that I was so excited for. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, just know that you're not alone! If it helps, after I took LO to the doctors I got in a pair of PJs, ate too much and shut all the curtains! I'm a misery!

Shadowy & bananaz I really hope you both start feeling better soon. It's awful when you feel rough!

mrsbeano, we have the same issue with night feeds. He doesn't take much milk during the day but then last night had 15oz over 3 feeds!! Not sure what to do about that or just wait for it to settle more?

Libby I'm the same with wanting to do everything myself. But Boo's right in saying that we need to share some of the burden. I can't bring myself to do it yet

 

[anti]

Irish eyes I'm right there with you!! I sometimes resent my OH for getting a full night sleep every night, but he drives up to 6 hours a dy and goes out to work every day to look after us so I really shouldn't complain.

 

[Irish Eyes]

Irish eyes I'm right there with you!! I sometimes resent my OH for getting a full night sleep every night, but he drives up to 6 hours a dy and goes out to work every day to look after us so I really shouldn't complain.

So glad I'm not the only one!

 

[AngelUK]

Nope not at all. I feel the same. But I am going even further, when certain friends had a baby I hoped theirs would be a bad sleeper too cause I have encountered a confidence in them that borders on the smug. I know we all had that confidence before our bad sleepers were born but well, I don't want to be the one who whined about her bad sleeper and have a new mum thinking they are doing something better than I did. Cause they don't, they might just have been lucky.

 

[Boo44]

Nope not at all. I feel the same. But I am going even further, when certain friends had a baby I hoped theirs would be a bad sleeper too cause I have encountered a confidence in them that borders on the smug. I know we all had that confidence before our bad sleepers were born but well, I don't want to be the one who whined about her bad sleeper and have a new mum thinking they are doing something better than I did. Cause they don't, they might just have been lucky.

Totally agree! It prob works both ways - I have one friend at baby group who cannot hide the look of joy on her face whenever Jack has a bad time with sleeping, like he did during the 4 month regression and just over Christmas when he was ill. I think it's because in general her LO sleeps worse than Jack. But if I ever say he had a bad night she alllllways says 'oh well **** slept through'. Not sure if I can blame her I think it's fairly natural! But I definitely prefer the mummies at our group who are so laid back they genuinely don't seem to care how their babies are sleeping and are always just happy or sympathetic for you, lol! (Edit - I don't for one second think I fall into this group haha)

 

[mrsbeano]

To the girls who want their husbands to do more, it is awesome when you're back at work. We both leave the house at the same time and DH gets home earlier because I do the nursery run so now we take nights in turn and he has to cook tea. *evil laugh* I am strangely feeling more rested because I get to sleep with the ear plugs every other night and get my lie in on a Sunday.

I also have to try very hard not to hit my sister when she either says how sorry she feels for me or how tired she is. She does at least admit that she's lucky, she doesn't try and credit herself.

 

[Noelle610]

My daycare provider just texted me to tell me Charlotte only took a 20 minute morning nap... But she's "very happy". That is usually her longest nap. She must be SO overtired from last night.

I don't want my kid to be HAPPY damn it, I want her to SLEEP! LOL. Now I'm terrified she's going to sleep horribly tonight. Here's hoping she crashes this afternoon and takes a 3 hour siesta.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Mrsbeano - thanks we'll likely gonna use Ferber. It seems to me the most gentle way of night weaning. My pedi herself used in on her daughter. It's all about being consistent and slowly reducing the amount of milk as well as increasing the time in between feeds. We had started it before but then she got sick so we had to stop

Bananaz - sorry to hear Elsie's still sick. But how was your night out? Hope that part was great at least

Noelle - I know what you mean about being smug. I have this good friend with a 2 year old that always talks about hoe her daughter sttn since 5 week old. Not only that, her mom who's friends with my mom always says the same to my mom in praise of her grandmother. She's a nice girl but I find it annoying for her to keep saying this to me knowing I struggle with sleep. She's currently 7 months pregnant and I keep secretly wishing her second one is not a good sleeper. I know it's mean but I can't help it

Sofia has napped amazing today. I'm hoping this consistent napping pays off though it hasn't yet. My pedi was saying if her naps are good and she doesn't really eat at night, night weaning is my only option. I'm guessing I just have to bite the bullet and do it :/

 

[Irish Eyes]

Shadowy, let me know how the night weaning goes. We'll need to do that soon. He's having 15oz at night!

 

[megangrohl]

OMG I havent posted in a while but wanted to add I HAATTTTTTTTE it when ppl who have no kids, no babies etc bitch that they are tired. Don't even get me STARTED!!!!!! You have no fecking idea what tired is!!!!!!!!! One of my friends bitched cuz he only got to sleep 8 hours instead of 12. I would KILL for that!

 

[Noelle610]

OMG I havent posted in a while but wanted to add I HAATTTTTTTTE it when ppl who have no kids, no babies etc bitch that they are tired. Don't even get me STARTED!!!!!! You have no fecking idea what tired is!!!!!!!!! One of my friends bitched cuz he only got to sleep 8 hours instead of 12. I would KILL for that!

Drives me nuts! A girl at my work told me that surely sleep deprivation with a baby isn't that bad and I must just need more sleep than the average person

 

[Boo44]

My daycare provider just texted me to tell me Charlotte only took a 20 minute morning nap... But she's "very happy". That is usually her longest nap. She must be SO overtired from last night.

I don't want my kid to be HAPPY damn it, I want her to SLEEP! LOL. Now I'm terrified she's going to sleep horribly tonight. Here's hoping she crashes this afternoon and takes a 3 hour siesta.

Hope she sleeps this afternoon!!

Not sure what's up with Jack's naps, today he had grand total of 20 mins this morning, 20 mins in the car at lunch time - I was sooo mad I tried to lie him in his cot from the car seat but of course he woke... So ended up going for a walk with him and managed to sneak in another 30 mins. It just doesn't seem enough for a baby to me! He fights any pm naps now, so this evening has been awake 4 hrs prior to bed which seems a lot too. Sigh I'm not sure where his longer naps went!

 

[megangrohl]

OMG I havent posted in a while but wanted to add I HAATTTTTTTTE it when ppl who have no kids, no babies etc bitch that they are tired. Don't even get me STARTED!!!!!! You have no fecking idea what tired is!!!!!!!!! One of my friends bitched cuz he only got to sleep 8 hours instead of 12. I would KILL for that!

Drives me nuts! A girl at my work told me that surely sleep deprivation with a baby isn't that bad and I must just need more sleep than the average person

OMG are you effing serious?? How old was this girl? I would have slapped her or given her a good talking to. Some people just don't get it! I'd be happy if I got 6 or 7 hrs straight even not broken up bits here and there. He sleep has gotten better over the months, but she still does go thru tough times with teething and growth spurts. I am pretty sure she is going thru one right now because she doesn't usually wake for milk in the middle of the night and she woke twice the last 2 nights for it screaming so I knew she was hungry. She took 6 oz each time. Hope that it doesn't last too long

 

[Noelle610]

My daycare provider just texted me to tell me Charlotte only took a 20 minute morning nap... But she's "very happy". That is usually her longest nap. She must be SO overtired from last night.

I don't want my kid to be HAPPY damn it, I want her to SLEEP! LOL. Now I'm terrified she's going to sleep horribly tonight. Here's hoping she crashes this afternoon and takes a 3 hour siesta.

Hope she sleeps this afternoon!!

Not sure what's up with Jack's naps, today he had grand total of 20 mins this morning, 20 mins in the car at lunch time - I was sooo mad I tried to lie him in his cot from the car seat but of course he woke... So ended up going for a walk with him and managed to sneak in another 30 mins. It just doesn't seem enough for a baby to me! He fights any pm naps now, so this evening has been awake 4 hrs prior to bed which seems a lot too. Sigh I'm not sure where his longer naps went!

So frustrating! Charlotte always fights a later afternoon nap, too, but her mid-day nap isn't really long enough to allow for that. She is usually up for four hours before bed and it seems like a long time to me as well!

 

[Noelle610]

OMG I havent posted in a while but wanted to add I HAATTTTTTTTE it when ppl who have no kids, no babies etc bitch that they are tired. Don't even get me STARTED!!!!!! You have no fecking idea what tired is!!!!!!!!! One of my friends bitched cuz he only got to sleep 8 hours instead of 12. I would KILL for that!

Drives me nuts! A girl at my work told me that surely sleep deprivation with a baby isn't that bad and I must just need more sleep than the average person

OMG are you effing serious?? How old was this girl? I would have slapped her or given her a good talking to. Some people just don't get it! I'd be happy if I got 6 or 7 hrs straight even not broken up bits here and there. He sleep has gotten better over the months, but she still does go thru tough times with teething and growth spurts. I am pretty sure she is going thru one right now because she doesn't usually wake for milk in the middle of the night and she woke twice the last 2 nights for it screaming so I knew she was hungry. She took 6 oz each time. Hope that it doesn't last too long

She's 30, can you believe it? No kids though. She wants them, however... She's in for a treat!

Sleep is much better now for us than it used to be. We do have terrible nights, but I find them so much easier when you know it won't last. I think my perspective has changed, too, since I've gotten some help for my PND. I don't feel like everything with sleep is FOREVER.

 

[bumpbear]

OMG I havent posted in a while but wanted to add I HAATTTTTTTTE it when ppl who have no kids, no babies etc bitch that they are tired. Don't even get me STARTED!!!!!! You have no fecking idea what tired is!!!!!!!!! One of my friends bitched cuz he only got to sleep 8 hours instead of 12. I would KILL for that!

Drives me nuts! A girl at my work told me that surely sleep deprivation with a baby isn't that bad and I must just need more sleep than the average person

OMG are you effing serious?? How old was this girl? I would have slapped her or given her a good talking to. Some people just don't get it! I'd be happy if I got 6 or 7 hrs straight even not broken up bits here and there. He sleep has gotten better over the months, but she still does go thru tough times with teething and growth spurts. I am pretty sure she is going thru one right now because she doesn't usually wake for milk in the middle of the night and she woke twice the last 2 nights for it screaming so I knew she was hungry. She took 6 oz each time. Hope that it doesn't last too long

She's 30, can you believe it? No kids though. She wants them, however... She's in for a treat!

Sleep is much better now for us than it used to be. We do have terrible nights, but I find them so much easier when you know it won't last. I think my perspective has changed, too, since I've gotten some help for my PND. I don't feel like everything with sleep is FOREVER.

I had prepared myself for being tired on the basis of what other parents had told me but I had NO IDEA how bad sleep deprivation feels til my daughter continued waking every 90 minutes through the night for a 5 month stretch. Her newborn antics had been a doddle in comparison and it wasnt until she hit 4 month sleep regression (and never recovered) that i felt at my wits end. I Learned the true meaning of exhausted that way! I don't hold it against non-parents because really, how are you supposed to know unless you experience it (I empathised but sure as heck didn't completely understand it!)

 

[Noelle610]

OMG I havent posted in a while but wanted to add I HAATTTTTTTTE it when ppl who have no kids, no babies etc bitch that they are tired. Don't even get me STARTED!!!!!! You have no fecking idea what tired is!!!!!!!!! One of my friends bitched cuz he only got to sleep 8 hours instead of 12. I would KILL for that!

Drives me nuts! A girl at my work told me that surely sleep deprivation with a baby isn't that bad and I must just need more sleep than the average person

OMG are you effing serious?? How old was this girl? I would have slapped her or given her a good talking to. Some people just don't get it! I'd be happy if I got 6 or 7 hrs straight even not broken up bits here and there. He sleep has gotten better over the months, but she still does go thru tough times with teething and growth spurts. I am pretty sure she is going thru one right now because she doesn't usually wake for milk in the middle of the night and she woke twice the last 2 nights for it screaming so I knew she was hungry. She took 6 oz each time. Hope that it doesn't last too long

She's 30, can you believe it? No kids though. She wants them, however... She's in for a treat!

Sleep is much better now for us than it used to be. We do have terrible nights, but I find them so much easier when you know it won't last. I think my perspective has changed, too, since I've gotten some help for my PND. I don't feel like everything with sleep is FOREVER.

I had prepared myself for being tired on the basis of what other parents had told me but I had NO IDEA how bad sleep deprivation feels til my daughter continued waking every 90 minutes through the night for a 5 month stretch. Learned the true meaning of exhausted that way! I don't hold it against non-parents because really, how are you supposed to know unless you experience it (I empathised but sure as heck didn't completely understand it!)

It really does feel awful and is SO HARD to understand until you've been there. I'm pretty sure I was one of those naive soon-to-be-moms who thought waking up through the night to pee was preparing me for caring for a newborn LOL!

 

[libbylou]

Last night was meh. She did a 4 hour stretch in her crib, followed by a 1.5 hour middle of the night party, followed by a 2 hour stretch in her crib, then a 2 hour stretch in our bed, then a 1 hour stretch in her crib.
I sort of forced DH to get up with her this morning so I got an extra hour in bed alone which was nice. He's only woken up with her 4 times since she was born and was bitchy and reluctant about it every single time because he's "tired"

I think I have such a hard time letting other people help because LO is very attached to me (always has been) and she does not accept other people despite my attempts to socialize her.
Every time I've left her while she is awake, she screams for hours, and not even just like sort of crying but full on hysterical panic screaming. She's better with DH now, but he still has a hard time dealing with middle of the night soothing because she just screams and screams at him because she wants me.
I know it won't hurt her to leave her with other people, but knowing she will be that upset and the only thing that will calm her is me makes me sick and anxious.
Her separation anxiety is pretty bad right now too. She's started to panic cry when other people hold her even if I'm right there and will try to throw herself out of their arms while screaming "mama" and she has this awful scared/terrified look that she does which is heartbreaking.