Reasons you SHOULD breastfeed

[lousielou]

^^ It's a shame, huh? In the last few years, apart from at breastfeeding groups, I can only think of a handful of times I've seen a mum breastfeeding in public.

I used to get nervous about nursing in public, and at first, I'd often try to do it in the car park before/after we went shopping and that kind of thing. It took a little while to get used to being confident about it, but it's a lot more discrete than I think most people imagine! Unless you're sitting with your top around your waist, people can generally see very little. In fact, there were a few occasions where people came up to me to see my son while he was feeding, and they didn't even realise he was nursing until they were right in front of us! The first few times were a bit daunting, but once I got over that, it was fine

 

[lousielou]

Err - oops. There were a few replies between the one I was ^^ing at and mine! I didn't mean 'it's a shame you don't want people to see your belly' Dragonfly!!

 

[blutea]

Thanks, I'm in the UK so it's legal to nurse everywhere I think. But it's not always that simple in reality. I'm not really confident enough to get into an argument with someone if they tell me I shouldnt be doing it. Luckily it will be summer so hopefully I can sit in a park and feed or something like that, it'll be easier than in the winter. I've never seen anyone BF on the train for example which I would have thought would be a good place! Infact I never see anyone BF anywhere!

Arm yourself with as much breastfeeding knoweledge as possible. There are several great articles, links and videos posted throughout this thread that can help inform you and boost your confidence.

 

[Dragonfly]

Err - oops. There were a few replies between the one I was ^^ing at and mine! I didn't mean 'it's a shame you don't want people to see your belly' Dragonfly!!

I was wondering there

 

[Mya209]

Thanks girls! I'll be brave when the time comes and hubby will probably be there the first few times. Daunting though!

 

[blutea]

Thanks girls! I'll be brave when the time comes and hubby will probably be there the first few times. Daunting though!

You can do it!

 

[andbabymakes3]

When Holly was about 5 days old we went for a walk down to the lake and she decided she wanted a feed - and I ended up sat on a bench with her under a massive blanket, with my ex, my mum and my step dad forming a human shield around me so nobody could see! I actually drew more attention to myself, think if I had just got on with it nobody would really have paid much attention.

I never really mastered the art of breastfeeding discreetely, but I used to take me and her into the car, or go and sit under a tree with my back to people - and I figured that if I had made the effort to be 'out of sight' and people still chose to stare - well...tough.

If I was out with my nct mummy friends I was less worried about doing it in obvious places - I think being in a group of 7 bfing mummies we all felt a bit braver!

 

[blutea]

When Holly was about 5 days old we went for a walk down to the lake and she decided she wanted a feed - and I ended up sat on a bench with her under a massive blanket, with my ex, my mum and my step dad forming a human shield around me so nobody could see! I actually drew more attention to myself, think if I had just got on with it nobody would really have paid much attention.

I never really mastered the art of breastfeeding discreetely, but I used to take me and her into the car, or go and sit under a tree with my back to people - and I figured that if I had made the effort to be 'out of sight' and people still chose to stare - well...tough.

If I was out with my nct mummy friends I was less worried about doing it in obvious places - I think being in a group of 7 bfing mummies we all felt a bit braver!

It's hard to get past what other people think. I was always nervous of offending others when breastfeeding my first son when he was younger. Now, he's old enough where I can reason with him and ask him to wait until we get home. It would be too shocking for others to see a 3 year old breastfeeding in public. LOL With my new baby, I'll be breastfeeding whenever he wants and my excuse will be that "I need to keep an eye on my 3 year old so you need to deal with it or you can put a blanket over your head."

 

[Dragonfly]

my mum again cant get it in her head you dont get periods when EBM another row today. She never believes me because she never heard of it but then she dosnt know about breastfeeding as she never did it. sigh.... once again i am either making it up or ill . I am either pregnant again through immaculate conception or have problems down there.

 

[blutea]

my mum again cant get it in her head you dont get periods when EBM another row today. She never believes me because she never heard of it but then she dosnt know about breastfeeding as she never did it. sigh.... once again i am either making it up or ill . I am either pregnant again through immaculate conception or have problems down there.

She sounds very stubborn. It might be a good idea to print some information for her to read. Maybe this article could help her understand- https://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/fertility.html

Breastfeeding and Fertility
By Kelly Bonyata, BS, IBCLC

•How can I use breastfeeding to prevent pregnancy?
•The transition to full fertility
•Do I need to wean to get pregnant?
•References and Additional Resources
◦Fertility and conceiving while breastfeeding
◦Exclusive breastfeeding/Lactational Amenorrhea Method of birth control
◦Print Resources
How can I use breastfeeding to prevent pregnancy?
The Exclusive Breastfeeding method of birth control is also called the Lactational Amenorrhea Method of birth control, or LAM. Lactational amenorrhea refers to the natural postpartum infertility that occurs when a woman is not menstruating due to breastfeeding. Many mothers receive conflicting information on the subject of breastfeeding and fertility.

Myth #1 – Breastfeeding cannot be relied upon to prevent pregnancy.

Myth #2 – Any amount of breastfeeding will prevent pregnancy, regardless of the frequency of breastfeeding or whether mom’s period has returned.

Exclusive breastfeeding has in fact been shown to be an excellent form of birth control, but there are certain criteria that must be met for breastfeeding to be used effectively.

Exclusive breastfeeding (by itself) is 98-99.5% effective in preventing pregnancy as long as all of the following conditions are met:

1.Your baby is less than six months old
2.Your menstrual periods have not yet returned
3.Baby is breastfeeding on cue (both day & night), and gets nothing but breastmilk or only token amounts of other foods.
Effectiveness of Birth Control Methods
Number of Pregnancies per 100 Women
Method Perfect Use Typical Use
LAM 0.5 2.0
Mirena® IUD 0.1 0.1
Depo-Provera® 0.3 3.0
The Pill / POPs 0.3 8.0
Male condom 2.0 15.0
Diaphragm 6.0 16.0
* Adapted from information at plannedparenthood.org.
See comparison of effectiveness for birth control methods for more information.


How can I maximize my natural period of infertility?
Timing for the return to fertility varies greatly from woman to woman and depends upon baby's nursing pattern and how sensitive mom's body is to the hormones involved in lactation.

•Breastfeeding frequency and total amount of time spent breastfeeding per 24 hours are the strongest factors leading to the return of fertility: a mother is more likely to see the return of fertility if baby's nursing frequency and/or duration is reduced, particularly if the change is abrupt.
•In some populations, research has shown that night nursing slows the return to fertility.
•One study showed that mothers who were separated from their infants (but expressed milk to provide 100% breastmilk for baby) had a higher pregnancy risk (5.2%) during the first 6 months (Valdes 2000).
•The introduction of solid food can also be a factor in the return of fertility. Once baby starts solids (if mom's cycles have not returned), the natural period of infertility may be prolonged by breastfeeding before offering solids, starting solids gradually, and not restricting nursing.
You can achieve higher effectiveness by practicing ecological breastfeeding:

•keeping baby close
•breastfeeding on cue (day and night)
•using breastfeeding to comfort your baby
•breastfeeding in a lying-down position for naps and at night
•using no bottles or pacifiers
If you practice ecological breastfeeding:

•Chance of pregnancy is practically zero during the first three months, less than 2% between 3 and 6 months, and about 6% after 6 months (assuming mom's menstrual periods have not yet returned).
•The average time for the return of menstrual periods is 14.6 months.
•Moms whose cycles return early tend to be infertile for the first few cycles. Moms whose cycles return later are more likely to ovulate before their first period.
Source: Natural Child Spacing and Breastfeeding by Jen O'Quinn

Source: Natural Child Spacing and Breastfeeding by Jen O'Quinn


While it is possible for a nursing mom to become pregnant while she is breastfeeding and before she has her first menstrual period, it is rare. Most moms do not get pregnant until after their first period (often referred to as the "warning period"). Even after that, while some can become pregnant the first cycle, others will require months of cycles before pregnancy can occur. Still others (this is quite uncommon) may not be able to become pregnant until complete weaning has occurred.


The transition to full fertility
Several studies have indicated that fertility and ovarian activity return step by step (Ellison 1996, p. 326-327):

1.Follicular activity without ovulation (No chance of pregnancy.)
1a. Menstruation without ovulation (This does not always occur--see below.)
2.Ovulation without luteal competence (After the egg is released, fertilization may take place. During the luteal phase, the uterine lining is prepared for implantation as the egg travels down the fallopian tube and into the uterus. If the uterine lining is not adequately prepared for implantation, the implantation will probably not be successful.)
3.Full luteal competence (Full fertility -- at this point breastfeeding no longer has any effect on your chance of pregnancy.)
It is possible to have one or (occasionally) more periods before you start ovulating. In this case, menstruation begins during the first stage of the return to fertility --before ovulation returns. Cycles without ovulation are most common during the first six months postpartum. For other mothers, the first menstruation is preceded by ovulation - a longer period of lactational amenorrhea increases the likelihood that you will ovulate before that first period.

A very small percentage of women will become pregnant during their first postpartum ovulation, without having had a postpartum period. Per fertility researcher Alan S. McNeilly, this "is rare and in our experience is related to a rapid reduction in suckling input."

It is not uncommon for breastfeeding mothers to report cyclical cramping or PMS-type symptoms - symptoms of an oncoming period without the period - for weeks or even months before their period returns. When this happens, the body is probably "gearing up" for the return of menstruation, but breastfeeding is still delaying the return of fertility.

The amount of time that it takes for the transition to full fertility varies from woman to woman. In general, the earlier that your menses return, the more gradual the return to full fertility.

Reference Menstruation without ovulation First ovulation without luteal competence Time between 1st period and ovulation
0-6 mo after 6 mo 0-6 mo after 6 mo
Eslami 1990 67% 22% -- 8.4 weeks 0.1 week
Gray 1990 45.1% "the rate fell greatly" 41% -- --
�
Reference Frequency of ovulation
Lactation:
1st cycle Lactation:
2nd cycle Post-weaning:
1st cycle Post-weaning:
2nd cycle Formula-feeding only:
2nd cycle
Howie 1982 45% 66% 70% 84% 94%



Do I need to wean to get pregnant?
Probably not. If you are still transitioning to full fertility (as discussed above), breastfeeding may affect the success of implantation. Once implantation is successful, breastfeeding should not affect a healthy pregnancy (see A New Look at the Safety of Breastfeeding During Pregnancy for more information). If your periods have come back and settled into a regular pattern, it is likely that breastfeeding is no longer affecting your fertility.

Many moms can conceive without deliberately changing their toddler's nursing patterns. There is no "magic" threshold of breastfeeding that will allow you to conceive -- every mother is different. Some moms need to stretch out nursing frequency and/or shorten nursing sessions to make it easier to conceive -- babies naturally do this themselves as they get older, so one of your options is simply to wait a bit.

Changes that are more abrupt tend to bring fertility back faster (e.g., cutting out one nursing session abruptly, rather than gradually decreasing nursing time at that session) --even if you continue to breastfeed a great deal-- this is why many mothers experience the return of fertility when their child sleeps through the night or starts solid foods. If you decide to make changes to your nursing pattern, the time of day that you make the change (e.g., cutting out or shortening a nighttime nursing session as opposed to a daytime nursing session) should not make that much of a difference. Current research indicates that nursing frequency and total amount of time at the breast per 24 hours are the most important factors, rather than the time of day that the suckling occurs.

A few moms do find it impossible to conceive while nursing, but this is not at all common.

Many mothers wonder whether breastfeeding will affect the reliability of pregnancy tests. It does not -- pregnancy tests measure the amount of the hormone hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) in blood or urine, and hCG levels are not affected by breastfeeding. The developing placenta begins releasing hCG upon implantation; a pregnancy can generally be detected with a pregnancy test within 7-14 days after implantation.

For more information, see Getting Pregnant While Breastfeeding by Hilary Flower.

When you do get pregnant while breastfeeding, what next? See Nursing During Pregnancy & Tandem Nursing for more information.

 

[newmommy23]

thanks for this post! I hate that so many women don't even try or quit sooo easily

 

[Dragonfly]

Thats what I was looking for bluetea. And yes she is stubborn! think she knows it all yet knows nothing sadly about breastfeeding. She expected me to have times set for feeding a 6 week old. I feed on demand she cant understand that.

 

[blutea]

Thanks girls! I'll be brave when the time comes and hubby will probably be there the first few times. Daunting though!

Here's a great article about breastfeeding in public-

https://www.llli.org/NB/NBNovDec00p196.html

Breastfeeding in Public
By Anne Robb Pugliese
Tangent, Oregon USA
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 17 No. 6, November-December 2000, p. 196-200
We provide articles from our publications from previous years for reference for our Leaders and members. Readers are cautioned to remember that research and medical information change over time

The idea of breastfeeding in public makes many people feel uneasy Unfortunately, as Katie Granju writes in her book, Attachment Parenting, "Surveys have revealed that far too many women are uncomfortable at the thought of nursing their baby in public and that this discomfort is a common cause for disruption of the breastfeeding relationship." Mothers may feel uncomfortable even when the "public" they are breastfeeding in front of is family members in their own home. The key point is not the place, but the presence of other people with the mother, whether those people are strangers or people she knows. Sometimes we don't think very clearly about the source of those feelings, but examining them can help mothers feel more confident about their choices, no matter what they choose to do.

Breastfeeding in public matters because hungry babies aren't very patient and it's hard to be a parent without leaving home. Once the early weeks have passed and a mother has resumed activities outside her home, finding a truly private place to breastfeed her baby can be difficult, if not impossible. Beyond practical considerations, many women make a philosophical choice about breastfeeding in public because they feel it is the most effective and natural way to meet their babies' needs. Breastfeeding doesn't stop being best for babies and mothers just because other people are present, and mothers want to continue to give their babies (and themselves) the best.

Cultural Attitudes
It can take a while to get comfortable with breastfeeding in public. The main reason for that initial discomfort is probably the taboo against revealing one's breasts around other people. Ironically, most breastfeeding women reveal much less skin while breastfeeding than the average jeans commercial reveals. Yet many people find one inappropriate and the other tolerable. Their concerns seem to stem less from actual skin exposure and more from cultural beliefs.

One of the differences between drinking from a bottle and nursing from the breast is that the breastfeeding mother and child are in direct, intimate contact with each other. The breastfeeding mother and baby respond to each other physically and emotionally. A mother who bottlefeeds her baby with either her own milk or formula is more physically distant. In some people's minds, the physical and emotional intimacy of the breastfeeding mother and baby is sometimes connected with sexual activity. So, when people see a woman using her breasts for their most basic function, in an intimate relationship with her infant, they may consciously or unconsciously confuse it with something that's sexual and should be done in privacy.

Current cultural attitudes toward breastfeeding mimic past attitudes toward pregnancy. At one time, it wasn't acceptable to discuss pregnancy openly and women who were "in a family way" were not supposed to be out in public. They were expected to quit work immediately. Although that has changed over the years, mainstream media and private conversations alike still tend to focus on the external aspects of pregnancy rather than the emotional - preventing stretch marks, maternity clothes that disguise the growing belly, pain prevention in labor, and article after article on losing all that "fat."

The breastfeeding mother and her baby continue the physical bond begun in pregnancy. Mainstream publications sometimes gloss over the unique relationship a mother shares with her baby while she is breastfeeding. Health writers are quick to assure mothers they will have a perfectly wonderful relationship with their child if they bottle-feed. Where is the discussion of the intimacy involved in giving and then sustaining life? A very popular pregnancy and child care book lists, under information on the decision to breastfeed, that the mother take into consideration not being able to fit back into pre-maternity clothing because of larger breasts. In any other context, most women would see the possibility of having larger breasts as positive, not negative. But when connected with their biological function, breasts seem no more than a nuisance and breastfeeding just another baby care gadget to consider while you are pregnant.

The availability of clothing for breastfeeding mothers may also reflect cultural taboos. Sexy lingerie is available in plentiful supply in major department stores and specialty stores alike. But shopping for a nursing bra can be a daunting task. The nursing bras are often behind the counter, if they exist at all. Some sizes may have to be special-ordered. Unless the mother asks, she may assume they are not available. The unspoken message is that breastfeeding should be kept behind closed doors and is inappropriate for public display, while displaying images of women's bodies to help attract customers is just fine.

Images of breastfeeding infants also reflect the taboo. A brand new infant nursing in his mother's arms is often seen in a soft-lit, lullaby-laden, nostalgic atmosphere. In a talk at the 1999 La Leche League International Conference, Dr. Jack Newman gave an overview of images of breastfeeding in the media. He pointed out that advertisements depicting breastfeeding rarely show women in public lives. They often show breastfeeding mothers dressed in darker hues or in nightgowns, and rarely looking at her infant. Yet images of feeding a baby with a bottle are portrayed with active, smiling, well-dressed women who are out in public and/or back to work. Once again, the unspoken message is that breastfeeding mothers should stay in the nursery and that once they return to "real life," they will leave breastfeeding as part of their private lives, not bring it out into public view.

"Just Give Him a Bottle"
Offering breast milk in a bottle is often suggested when the debate on breastfeeding in public hits television or radio talk shows. But that option offers problems for the mother and baby that may be overlooked by the general public. First, it takes extra time and care to pump, store, and transport milk - time that may be precious, particularly in the early weeks and months. Babies receive fewer of the benefits of breastfeeding when they receive human milk that is not fresh from the source. They also run the risk of developing nipple confusion - having trouble switching back and forth between breast and bottle. Mothers run a higher risk of developing a plugged duct or breast infection because of the delay between feedings at the breast, particularly in the early months. A mother who skips feedings will probably be very uncomfortable from full breasts. If she is unable to pump her breasts, her supply will probably decrease slightly. So she'll still be experiencing the consequences the next day, when her baby nurses more frequently to replenish her supply. She also loses the convenience of being able to soothe her baby quickly and easily while she is out. She may even run out of milk in bottles before she finishes her errands.

All of the challenges of offering human milk in a bottle while in a public place can be overcome. But the bottom line is that many women find it easier, healthier, more economical, more ecologically sound, and more relaxing to fit breastfeeding in with all their daily activities than it is to fit occasional bottle-feeding in with their breastfeeding.

Other Options
Another often suggested strategy for breastfeeding your baby when you are out is to take him to the restroom or toilet facility to feed him. However, no one would suggest that an adult eat his or her lunch in a public toilet. When a mother has older children, spending twenty minutes or longer feeding the baby in a toilet facility with a bored two-year-old does not seem like a viable option. In smaller stores, toilets may not be open to the public. At least in the restaurant, the mother can feed herself and her older children, too. And babies invariably get hungry when everyone else is eating.

Some shopping malls and larger stores are starting to offer a separate room that can allow privacy for nursing mothers. Sometimes they have a small lounge with a chair or a couch, which can be more comfortable for some mothers and babies, particularly when the baby has older siblings. When such rooms are not available, try a fitting room in a women's clothing store, or check to see if there is a rocking chair in the baby department or the furniture department. Many maternity stores welcome nursing mothers to feed their babies in a comfortable area. Or ask at an LLL meeting about where to find the most comfortable places to breastfeed in public places in your area. Any place to sit, even the floor, can work if it is out of the way. You can often face away from onlookers while you get baby started. Once your baby is latched on and nursing contentedly, most people won't give you a second glance.

Using Cover-Ups
A small blanket can be used to cover your baby while he nurses. There are also special capes and other cover-ups made just for this purpose. This can be a good compromise if it worries you to be too exposed. In some situations, a blanket or coverup acts like a flag that says, "I am breastfeeding my baby now." In addition, some babies don't like having their faces covered while they breastfeed. A blanket may provide a little extra privacy while you're getting your baby started, though. Once he is breastfeeding, there really isn't much for anyone else to see unless they look so closely that they are intruding rudely on your personal space.

During mild weather, the car can be a quiet, familiar place for both you and your baby to settle down for a nursing. Breastfeeding just before you go into a store helps fill your baby's tank emotionally and nutritionally and may encourage a nap, particularly if you put your baby in a sling. Overall, it's easier to find a comfortable place when you plan ahead and pay attention to your baby's hunger cues so he doesn't get too hungry to begin with.

Many women prefer to find a place that is "private enough" to breastfeed rather than searching for absolute privacy. You may have initial doubts, but faced with the obvious needs of your baby, you may find that your priorities will change.

Other People's Reactions
Ironically, women who choose to feed their babies at the breast in public situations, especially in social gatherings, often find themselves in the middle of the "why breastfeeding didn't work for me" discussion. This can be uncomfortable for everyone. The breastfeeding mother may feel that her breastfeeding brings up pain for other women present. Those women have a need to discuss their experiences and often the discussion is about regrets. This need to talk about their experiences hints at an underlying truth. Being unable to breastfeed, whether the cause was societal pressures or lack of information and support, may leave women with nagging regrets and a feeling of failure. The mother who is nurturing her child at the breast may be surprised when such things happen and feel ill equipped to handle the strong feelings coming from those around her. Probably the most helpful thing to do is just to listen to their story, empathize, and gently move the topic along to something else.

In a recent issue of NEW BEGINNINGS a question was asked about how to handle the decision to nurse in front of co-workers in an academic setting. While each woman's life is different, this situation brings up the issue of the woman's comfort level with mixing her personal life and her professional life. While some may argue that a mother who feeds her baby with a bottle wouldn't face the dilemma of whether or not to feed her baby in front of her colleagues, she may well be faced with another dilemma. Instead of, "Why is she doing that in public?" the question may become, "Why didn't she leave that baby at home?" In both cases, the real issue is not about the feeding method; it's about what society expects of babies and their parents. Mothers who keep their babies and toddlers close as much as possible are frequently cautioned that their children will never learn to be independent. Healthy attachments between mothers and children are seen as too intimate in some circles.

INCREASE AWARENESS - BREASTFEED!
Breastfeeding advocates point out that being too discreet or too private about breastfeeding may actually work against more acceptance of breastfeeding in general, since it tends to keep breastfeeding hidden from most people. In her new book, Natural Family Living, Peggy O'Mara suggests:

If you encounter any curious or hostile stares, smile benignly back, knowing that you are contributing to the health of the next generation, and that you are setting a beautiful example for other women, young girls, and expectant fathers. Fortunately, fewer people raise an eyebrow at nursing mothers today - in fact, a woman's right to breastfeed in public is protected by law in many states. Perceptions are changing, as people become educated about the health benefits of breastfeeding. With continued awareness, perhaps breastfeeding in public will become as accepted as smoking in public is now frowned upon.

 

[blutea]

Thats what I was looking for bluetea. And yes she is stubborn! think she knows it all yet knows nothing sadly about breastfeeding. She expected me to have times set for feeding a 6 week old. I feed on demand she cant understand that.

Trying to feed a breastfed baby on a schedule would cause way more harm than good. It could cause failure to thrive and it could give you mastitis. You should ask her if that's really what she wants for you.

 

[Dragonfly]

she says she didnt do it like this and that. All I heard from when my son was born. And if I said that to her as usual she would look and laugh at me like I was stupid. really winds me up the way she goes on. She does support breatsfeeding but clearly dosnt know anything about it and thinks its the same as formula feeding. She asks me in a whispering way am i still feeding William. Her fav sentance always starts with "what are you going to do when" you know the type. lol

 

[blutea]

she says she didnt do it like this and that. All I heard from when my son was born. And if I said that to her as usual she would look and laugh at me like I was stupid. really winds me up the way she goes on. She does support breatsfeeding but clearly dosnt know anything about it and thinks its the same as formula feeding. She asks me in a whispering way am i still feeding William. Her fav sentance always starts with "what are you going to do when" you know the type. lol

That would wind me up too. I really, really DISLIKE condescension and attitudes of superiority.

 

[Dragonfly]

Ia doctor told her she would believe if if I said it its bull She thinks chocolate deserts are ok for a 4 month old because the jar said it was. :O

 

[blutea]

Ia doctor told her she would believe if if I said it its bull She thinks chocolate deserts are ok for a 4 month old because the jar said it was. :O

I'm sure she has some redeeming qualities but that just drives me crazy. Why would anyone think anything but breastmilk is good for a 4 month old baby?

 

[Dragonfly]

because it done us no harm *looks at obese self* its ok apparently long as you brush your teeth . No guesses for what weight she is , near 30stone or more I am guessing,. She is never wrong, never will admit it and is full of blame. Redeeming qualities I errm? not wanting to sound nasty but not many. Well least she dosnt fall out with me for breastfeeding and shy away like my aunt who is embarrassed her sons seen me breastfeeding and keeps saying her kids are fine and where ff. She just randomly would say that for no reason when I started to feed.

 

[blutea]

because it done us no harm *looks at obese self* its ok apparently long as you brush your teeth . No guesses for what weight she is , near 30stone or more I am guessing,. She is never wrong, never will admit it and is full of blame. Redeeming qualities I errm? not wanting to sound nasty but not many. Well least she dosnt fall out with me for breastfeeding and shy away like my aunt who is embarrassed her sons seen me breastfeeding and keeps saying her kids are fine and where ff. She just randomly would say that for no reason when I started to feed.

*Sigh* I'm so sorry they're treating you this way. People who get defensive, unreasonable and stubborn are usually insecure about their own decisions.