Recurrent Miscarriage Thread

[Tasha]

I do that too

Can I ask if any of you have had an HSG xray?

 

[padbrat]

Yep keep me posted Leec!!

 

[Lamburai1703]

I do that too

Can I ask if any of you have had an HSG xray?

I have had one. What would you like to know?

 

[Tasha]

I do that too

Can I ask if any of you have had an HSG xray?

I have had one. What would you like to know?

Thank you so much for replying, did yours hurt/did you take pain killers? How long did it take? Is it as scary as my head is making it?

 

[Tasha]

I forgot to say I was at St May's RMU on Thursday, and despite having two stillbirths and eight miscarriages my loses are being investigated properly for the first time

LeeC, fingers crossed for you

 

[Lamburai1703]

I do that too

Can I ask if any of you have had an HSG xray?

I have had one. What would you like to know?

Thank you so much for replying, did yours hurt/did you take pain killers? How long did it take? Is it as scary as my head is making it?

I had my HSG at St Mary's and it was fine. It didn't hurt (any more than a smear test does), and I actually found it sort of cool seeing dye whooshing through my lady bits on the screen. I have to say by far the worst bit was putting on the manky hospital robes, and wandering in socks to the xray room. I promptly burst into tears upon entering the room as it just look scary - like something off a hospital drama. But all in all, it was fine. They didn't give me any painkillers so they obviously don't think it should hurt too much.

Good luck with it. And glad you're getting the investigative help you so clearly need.

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Tasha, I'm going this week! Nervous! When's yours?

 

[heart tree]

Hi all. I've been so out of the loop lately, but have been silently lurking. I've been trying to deal with my 4th loss, an ectopic where I lost my right tube. I have these ugly scars from the surgery which are a constant visual reminder. I find myself angry and sad all the time.

I had a saline sonogram and they saw something in my uterus, but don't know what it is. They put me on birth control pills to keep me from getting AF and have scheduled me for a hysteroscopy. Hopefully, they'll see whatever is in my uterus and can remove it. I have that procedure scheduled for September 12 - a month before my 37th birthday.

Based on that test, we are either going to try to do IUI and get me pregnant immediately or we're going to move on to surrogacy. If we do IUI and I lose another pregnancy, they will test the tissue (which they haven't done yet!) If it is genetically normal, we will assume it is my uterus that isn't working (I have adenomyosis that is causing a distortion in the shape of my uterus.) Then we will stop trying to get pregnant and move to surrogacy. I can't believe this is my life. I can't believe that I may never carry my own child. This isn't the future I ever envisioned for myself.

I get so sick of people posting their pregnancy announcements on FB. I get so sick of seeing pregnant women on the street. I know that life isn't fair, but I feel like I've paid my dues. We all have!

Tasha, I've had an HSG. I took a Vicodin and Ibuprofen for it. It still was uncomfortable, but not unbearable. I had a hysteroscopy a few weeks before the HSG without pain meds and it was the most painful thing I've ever had. I think everyone is different. If I were you, I would take some pain meds as a precaution.

Padbrat, I'm super excited for your new journey. I hope you are on your way to carrying your forever baby.

Hello to everyone else. I feel like I connect most to all of you. I've been trying to stick to my other threads, but everyone ends up having only 1 miscarriage and then getting pregnant with their forever babies. It is hard for me. I feel like a freak. Here I just feel normal. Sad, but true. You lovely ladies are the only people who truly understand.

 

[9babiesgone]

I know how you feel, everyone thinks that my life is easy but they have no idea. after 13 losses, I feel like I am never going to get what I want.

 

[heart tree]

I know hon. I feel like people expect us to get on with life, but they don't see the hole that resides in our hearts. That hole burns and aches in me daily, but I often find myself wearing a plastic smile around others. If I didn't, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from constantly crying.

 

[Mon_n_john]

I know hon. I feel like people expect us to get on with life, but they don't see the hole that resides in our hearts. That hole burns and aches in me daily, but I often find myself wearing a plastic smile around others. If I didn't, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from constantly crying.

I totally understand. I've been there before. So sad and depressed that I can't wait to be alone again so I can stop faking that I am OK. It's gotten easier with time and sadly I have come to expect the worst yet hope for the best. It's the only way I know to stay sane.

 

[padbrat]

Hey Heart. If anyone understands your feelings we all do. Could you try IVF? Or PGD where they check the blasties to be genetically normal before returning them. We seriously considered it, but felt with my age that ED would be safer.

It may be an option to look at before surrogacy.

I don't believe any of us envisioned the devastation we have all experienced when we decided we wanted to be Mums. Life is cruel.

 

[LeeC]

Hi all.

I'm having a bad day today. Not sure if it's the steroids or PMT/hormones. Will be testing with Superdrug EPT at 10dpo tomorrow.
I had my niece from Cumbria staying for the weekend and she went home yesterday. I suppose I just feel a bit sad that we went out and did lots of things together and sort of feeling a bit stirred up that I may never get to do that type of thing with my own children.

Probs just hormonal but will be good to get back to work tomorrow to keep myself occupied.
If I get BFN tomorrow we are back to plan A of waiting til new year to TTC again which also makes me a bit sad.

Anyway how is everyone else doing?

I'm so glad I found this site for days like this.

X

 

[LeeC]

Meant to say Heart big cyber hug to you and Padbrat and Mon n John very true words X

 

[heart tree]

Mon, you said it right...I am always so excited when I can be alone and let my guard down. You know, time used to make it better, but I've been at this for 4 years and it seems like time just brings me more losses. Every time I think I'm getting better emotionally, I get kicked back down with another loss. I always expect the worst as well these days. I used to be an optimist, but it isn't easy these days.

Pad, I'm not a candidate for IVF because my adenomyosis is compromising the shape of my uterus. Unfortunately, the location of it is where embryos like to implant themselves. One of the theories is that I keep losing my pregnancies because they are implanting where the adenomyosis is and there isn't enough blood flow to keep them alive. IVF can't physically implant them somewhere else in my uterus. If there was a procedure that could do that, we'd be all over it! If my next pregnancy is genetically normal, we will assume that it is the adenomyosis that is causing the losses and will stop trying.

Lee You don't need to figure out why you are having a bad day...you just are and you are allowed to have them. I was cleaning out my closet the other day and thinking that I wanted to save certain items. I've always done that. Then I realized that I've been saving things for my "daughter" so she could play dress up. It was a horrible slap in the face to realize I might never have that daughter. (I'm still saving the clothes just in case). It is such a hard realization to think about. I'm sorry you had that same kind of experience with your niece.

I hope you get your BFP tomorrow and that it is a sticky one!

 

[daviess3]

Leec fxd for tom hun but i have only ever got bfp on superdrug test 12dpo so i think you have a few days to play with hun, i will be awaiting your update in the morning!!! Afm cd1!!!! here we go again!!!! xx

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Heart tree- so IVF doesn't specifically put it in one area?? That's what I was hoping for because there's suspician that my uterus is not shaped ideal. I'm scheduled for an HSG on Friday to hopefully find out more. Deep down I guess I was hoping that IVF could save the day in the end, but maybe not... Probably why my doctor briefly mentioned a surrogate. He says we'll wait to see what this test says before jumping the gun.

 

[heart tree]

Heart tree- so IVF doesn't specifically put it in one area?? That's what I was hoping for because there's suspician that my uterus is not shaped ideal. I'm scheduled for an HSG on Friday to hopefully find out more. Deep down I guess I was hoping that IVF could save the day in the end, but maybe not... Probably why my doctor briefly mentioned a surrogate. He says we'll wait to see what this test says before jumping the gun.

Hi Hopeful. I thought IVF placed them too, but found out that they don't do it that way. They fertilize the egg outside of the body, and then they put the fertilized egg back into the uterus. But the egg floats around on its own until it finds a place in the uterus to attach. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

They identified that something was wrong with the shape of my uterus with an HSG. They could see there was a distortion, but couldn't tell what was causing it. I ended up having an MRI which finally gave me the diagnosis.

There are so many reasons your uterus might be an abnormal shape. Some are fixable, so it is good that your doctor is advising not to jump the gun. Good luck on Friday. Make sure to let us know how it goes.

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Thank you. They think it may be a septum, in which case he said he could remove it. If it's a bicornuate though then he can't operate on it. I'll check back in Friday after I know more!

 

[daviess3]

Goodluck hopeful xx