Recurrent Miscarriage Thread

[heart tree]

That's good news Lunabean. I didn't have an official appointment, they just did tests here and there for me, so I can't really tell you what to expect. I hope some others can lend some insight. I hope you get some answers. 5 losses is 5 too many.

 

[gimgams]

hi ladies, well we had our first and last appointment at the clinic yesterday, the long and short of it is they will not help us to try and work out why i have had the mc's, we were told because our 1st mc was late in to the pregnancy and due to downs syndrome, it didnt count as a mc, so technically it doesnt count. The 2nd mc is, in a sense, cancelled out by the fact i had a child 18 months later, so technically i have only had this 1! I am absolutely gutted, i can in a sense understand what they are saying but i was hoping for some tests to be run just to check there is no underlying problems, rule out the fact that maybe both me and hubby have a defective gene which is causing downs and the first time wasnt just 'bad luck', anything would of been better than nothing, we werent necessarily looking for treatments, just answers, so we could make a more informed decision on what we would do next! so am now in limbo, dont really know what to do next. We have booked a week in cornwall in oct and will discuss things when we get back. I hope everyone else here gets aot better response than we did, apparently our case is a bit unique due to the downs factor, so still think the clinic is a good idea, but hopefully if we try again i wont be needing their help!

 

[LunaBean]

Thats ridiculous! I dont understand how you have to have a certain amount to be investigated anyway, 1, 5, 10, they're all equally as painful, who has the right to put a number on it??? I hope you enjoy your time away, and hope you get another bfp soon

Ive had 5 losses, and my doctor has told me it might just be bad luck, but there has to be a reason!!

 

[heart tree]

Gimgams, that makes me so angry I want to scream! Sometimes mcs are bad luck, but often there is an underlying problem. The nerve of them not to investigate further. I agree with lunabean, they shouldn't put a number on it. I've been lucky. They started testing after my first one. Now that I've had 3 they are taking it very seriously. Granted I don't have any living children, but still, everyone should get equal treatment after ONE miscarriage! Is there any way you could go somewhere else? In the US, we have the option of changing doctors, not sure how NHS works. I'm so, so sorry!

 

[gimgams]

hi, heart tree, we could go through a private clinic i think and pay for the tests etc, but am unsure if financially we could afford to do that, i havent looked in to it, I just assumed the NHS would help to be honest. The doctor we saw on thursday, actually retired yesterday, she told us all about her plans during the consultation! so possibly could speak to my gp again and see what he thinks? not sure yet what to do, if we decide to go private it wont be till after christmas, would like to enjoy christmas and it makes sense financially. Hubby thinks we should 'not try but not prevent a pregnancy' so just take things as they come. I know we are very lucky to have a son already and i know i am incredibly blessed to have him but it doesnt mean that the mc's hurt any less, or are any less traumatic, but i am grateful for what i do have, peoples favouite saying for us at the moment ' you have a son, we should be grateful'. but just thought if we knew the underlying reason for all this it would help. If it is because we both carry the downs gene and we are at incresed risk of having a downs baby, we could decide if we wanted to continue to try, and if it would be fair to our son, jacob, if we had another child with possible disabilities how is it ging to sffect all our lives including the life of a 5 year old, who is use to being an only child and having all the attention? ok am going to now have a look online for private clinic, writing this has helped me realise that i do need answers for my own sanity and for my families sake! will report back!

 

[heart tree]

Sometimes it helps to get things out on paper (or computer screen) or just talk them through. Sounds to me like you need more answers too. Please report back!

 

[Lamburai1703]

Morning all. After my body cocking me about this cycle and ovulating a whole week later than normal, I got a faint BFP yesterday and this morning at 10dpo. I'm terrified as this is the 4th pregnancy and I genuinely don't know if I can cope if this one fails too. But I am determined to try and be positive. I've already started cyclogest twice daily, and when (note the positive talk there?) we see a heartbeat I will start clexane (although the NHS are nobbers and I have to fund this privately at huge personal expense) so I feel like there is slightly more of a plan this time.

I want to thank you all for your support and kind words over the last few months. You are an amazing collection of wonderful brave women and I hope we all have healthy babies in the not too distant future.

 

[Rabbittchild]

Good luck Lamburai I hope everything goes well for you. I'm on my 4th pregnancy started taking cyclogest at 13dpo, (got bfp at 12dpo) and am on aspirin too. I know how scary it is am only 5+2 and am nearly crazy with worry. But I guess we all have to believe we'll get there eventually despite all the horrible things we have to go through.

 

[moonmama]

hi ladies,
gimgams I'm so shocked that you had such rubbish treatment at your appointment !

Congrats lamburai, will keep every thing crossed for you

How is everyone?

I think my mc is finally finished as the bleeding has stopped, I'm hoping AF will show soon as my temps are climbing. I'm in a dilemma about going down the progesterone next time route or going for loads of immunology testing that I cant really afford. Im 39 and have 4 mc- what do you ladies think?

 

[Hollybush75]

moonmama - I think anything is worth trying. At least that way you know you gave it the best shot

 

[kat731]

Congrats to all the bfp on here! How exciting! Please keep us posted, good luck to you mammas!

Today my reg ob/gyn referred me to a FS. I've heard spetacular, but im nervous. Never imagined id be here at 26.
I survived my SIL babyshower. It was actually nice, and not too overwhelming.
Hope all is well

 

[gimgams]

Hi All, moonmama i am in agreement with hollybush75, i think anything is worth a try and i would rather try and know i did all i could, rather than forever wondering what if, and regretting it forever! but ultimately it is a very perasonasl and difficult decision to make, whatever you decide i am sure it will be right for you.
OK am going to seem a little dense here ladies but there seems to be alot of abbreviations used on here and i dont want people to think i am rude by not talking to them but to be honest i am not 100% what everything means, obviously know mc, that one sticks out like a sore thumb! Its just the others i am unsure of, could some one please shed some light for me! AF,BFP, DPO really sorry but cannot seem to work out what everything means!

 

[Hollybush75]

gimgams

AF="Aunt Flo"=period
BFP = Big Fat Positive
DPO = Days Past Ovulation

I wonder if there's a sticky somewhere on the forum?

ETA Yes there is

Check this out https://www.babyandbump.com/forum-help-testing-area/730-babyandbump-lingo-abbreviations.html

 

[heart tree]

Congrats Lamb! I hope you stay out of this thread forever more!

Moonmama, if it were me, and I can only speak for myself, I would do everything possible. But money does factor into that. If it absolutely isn't possible to do further testing, then do as much as you can. Progesterone is a good start if your doctor is willing to prescribe it. Maybe you could also look into baby aspirin. These two things have helped other women. Obviously it is worth a discussion with your doctor. What are you leaning towards doing?

 

[Hollybush75]

I've just read this excellent article in the Daily Mail (UK) and wanted to share it here.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1311742/Why-wont-doctors-miscarriage-seriously.html

 

[moonmama]

Moonmama, if it were me, and I can only speak for myself, I would do everything possible. But money does factor into that. If it absolutely isn't possible to do further testing, then do as much as you can. Progesterone is a good start if your doctor is willing to prescribe it. Maybe you could also look into baby aspirin. These two things have helped other women. Obviously it is worth a discussion with your doctor. What are you leaning towards doing?

Do you know I just dont know! I change my mind on an hourly basis! One minute I think I'l just try one more time and ask for progesterone and take asperin and hope for the best- then I read some more of the Dr Beer book that says if you have an immune issue- the chance of the next miscarrying is 100% and I look into doing the NK cells tests. On some random moments I think I'm not putting myself through either and I'll stop trying and move on! But those moments are short lived unfortunatly! Wish I knew what to do

 

[Lamburai1703]

Hey all. So I have started cyclogest, continuing with aspirin and began heparin today (not as painful as I expected). I am now pooping my pants over the drugs concoction as well as the chance of a miscarriage. I'm scared and I hate feeling so needy and pathetic.

Thanks for all your best wishes. I will keep you updated periodically (although please say if you'd rather I didn't as I know how hard it is to read stuff when you're feeling low yourself - I won't be offended at all.)

 

[moonmama]

Hey all. So I have started cyclogest, continuing with aspirin and began heparin today (not as painful as I expected). I am now pooping my pants over the drugs concoction as well as the chance of a miscarriage. I'm scared and I hate feeling so needy and pathetic.

Thanks for all your best wishes. I will keep you updated periodically (although please say if you'd rather I didn't as I know how hard it is to read stuff when you're feeling low yourself - I won't be offended at all.)

I can only speak for myself but I would love you know how your getting on! You've been through what we've all been through so I find it really encouraging to hear your progress! FX for you xx

 

[reedsgirl1138]

Hello lovelies just stopping in to show some support and let you ladies know I am thinking about you and praying for answers and healthy babies for you all soon. xxxxx

 

[heart tree]

I also like the updates. It gives me hope to hear how you preggos are getting on! We are a special group and we need to stick together, pregnant or not!